


Pacify

by fabric_hands



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Complete, Crying, Dancing, Emotional Turmoil, Endgame, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Feels, Female!Reader - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Nebula doesn’t get enough love, Original Character - Freeform, Post Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Real sadness buddy, SO MUCH FLUFF, Self-Insert, Singing, Singing While Crying, Sisterly Love, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Team as Family, Very Very Slow Burn, Whump, altered timeline, alternate universe where nebula stuck around after Yondu’s death, before infinity war, but then we get back in there eventually, coming to terms, dance party, emotionally distress, endgame spoilers, i hope u like it, long fic, please read this, sad stuff, shameless for insert, so im giving it to her, spoiler warning, this fic is for me, this is a very slow burn, ultra whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-06-20 15:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 123,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15537177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabric_hands/pseuds/fabric_hands
Summary: You are Pacify, the new member of the Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s a colorful crew of misfits you’re proud to be a part of; as bumpy as it is, you manage to thrive with your new friends.It’s an eventful occupation, full of Galaxy-saving, problem-solving— oh yeah, and you’ve just developed a crush on Nebula, one of the most dangerous and brutal women in the galaxy.Let’s hope you stay in one piece.(last chapter 26 contains endgame spoilers— read at your own risk!)





	1. Meet or Greet

* * *

Your name is Pacify.

Well, your superhero name, at least. Your real name is Alex Goldfinch.

You did a lot of research into what you should be called, looking over already copyrighted names and brands to attempt to find a free one that was on brand. It had to be something meaningful. Snappy.

You thought powerful, at first, but a pacifistic superhero doesn’t really need a punch to their name.

Thats right- you are a pacifist and a superhero. Who knew that could even be possible, huh?

You been this way since you were about twelve- pacifistic, that is. You have had powers all your life. None of them really could be used for violence anyway. Telepathy, emenating emotional influencing auras, and a power to access a pocket dimension. Really though, someone could probably use those violently. But you would rather not.

Its been twenty years of mediocrity— you’ve been a good child, a good student, an introverted nerd who admired the Avengers and other heros, and someone who has never once attended a party or even held hands with a girl. (Oh right- you’re a lesbian, too.)

In short, you were a bit of a loser.

Working a 9 to 5 job really was the cherry on a cake of average. Clock in, clock out, got to sleep, repeat. The days blurred together. But as lame as this all sounded, you were content. Not happy, but content. You had nice friends (more like acquaintances) and a nice apartment (more like just “apartment”) and you were satisfied with it.

You were thankful for your abilities as well— the one thing to break the averageness of your life, an escape from your mostly mundane life and surroundings. Though these were pretty cool powers, you weren’t really in the public eye. Unregistered, not violent and unexciting. You didn’t really deal with aliens or monsters or whatever— you could talk down an angry relative or have something quiet time in your pocket dimension.

And that’s how you lived for awhile. You didn’t complain. But you did want more.

But then Tony Stark found you; rather, you found him.

It was a pretty good idea. If powered people reported to Tony, he could assign them to certain missions and things to do. Or even at least keep tabs on anyone powered if the misused their talents.

Who knows? Maybe he could even make you a suit.

You sent him a resume, almost as if you were applying for a job. An automated response came a few months later, basically saying that Stark got your letter and went through the proper steps to make you recognized by the government as a hero— and there it was.

You were now a hero, on the books.

You’re a new hero named Pacify. Your real name is Alex Goldfinch. 

The public knew you by no name.

You thought you’d be able to go out as a hero and, well, do things. But, no. You had never been called out once. 

As you thought about it, you realized— why would you? Other heroes were much more capable. Talented. They were much stronger and smarter and faster and hand more endurance than you. They knew how to take down baddies quickly and effiently. You could barely even walk the stairs to your apartment without getting winded. You couldn’t even face  bank robber. 

Not even one of those old timey ones in a black-and white striped shirt and a comically large bag with a money symbol on it.

You never did get that suit you wanted, either.

Weeks passed, then months, then it had been a year since you signed up. Nothing. No one. You accepted that you weren’t going you be a real hero. What kind of real hero was unknown to the world and practically useless?

All that really makes you wonder what you’re doing here.

You were currently in Tony Stark himself’s office, trying your best not to fidget in a chair pulled up to his desk. He was looking through files, taking his time. You didn’t really expect him to be as nervous as you were— he’s the multi-billionaire once the room, after all— but you thought it’s would be more urgent than this.

He called you here; well, he didn’t neccesarily call you. He didn’t have your number. (Could you imagine, having Tony Stark’s personal number? Ha!) Instead, he remotely flew one of his many iron man suits to your apartment and tapped on the window early in the morning. You woke up like a shot, and listened to his instructions, still half asleep and very afraid.

He simply said to come to Stark Industries immediately. No explaination.

You got dressed and booked it to Stark Industries as soon and possible. Thank god you lived close enough so that you could take a bus.

And here you were now, still nervous as all hell. Your hair was messy, your clothes wrinkled, and you werent exactly the spitting image of confidence, either. You could have taken a quick trip to your pocket dimension and taken a breather, but you didn’t want to waste time.

Tony finally turned, putting down the file on the desk and sitting in front of you. “Sorry to scare you so bad, Alex.” He said, leafing through it some more.

”Yeah, you...” You hesitated “You scared me really bad. Last thing I expect to wake up to is Iron Man at my window.”

“Again. Sorry.” He scanned over the file, looking down at it, then back up at you. “Alex Goldfinch. AKA Pacify.”

”That’s me.” You confirmed, forcing a smile.

”And I assume you’re familir with other heroes? I’d be a little offended if you’ve never heard of the Avengers.”

You shook your head vigorously. “I have heard of them, Mr. Stark.”

”Mr. Stark?” He repeated. “What are you, ten?”

”I’m twenty, sir.” You said instinctively. You flinched after hearing your own response.

He looked over his reading glasses at you.”I know. I have your file here.” He tapped it with a pen. “Just call me Tony. That doesn’t make me feel old.”

”Alright... Tony.” You swallowed.

“Okay, you know what heroes are, you know what heroes do. Good. It says here you signed up about a year ago. Active, but no requests to... do anything.”

You grimaced. “Yes, sir.”

He nodded, looked back down to the paper, and was quiet. As if he forgot you were there.

“Why did you need me?” You piped up.

Tony stopped for a moment, still looking at the file. “So, refresh me on your powers?”

You wanted to point out they were all there in the file, but you bit back that little comment and listed them off. “I can communicate telepathically with people.”

”Like reading minds?”

”Not really, sir. I don’t hear whatever they don’t want to tell me. It’s like... talking. But absolutely privately, no one else can hear.”

”Okay... is that all?”

”No, sir. I can influence other people’s emotions. Like, if someone is getting really angry, I’m able to negotiate with them.”

”Is that an actual power, or just a ‘you’ thing?”

”sometimes I don’t know.”

”Okay...” he looked back to the file. “What’s this power? ‘Pocket Dimesion’?”

”I’m able to access a pocket dimension where I can take people if they’re getting too violent with bystanders. I can hold them there until authorities arrive.”

”... Alex,” He began to say. “You know there’s much more potential to this power than putting a bad guy in time-out, right?”

A twinge of irritation made your eyebrows furrow. “Well...” you started, using your speaking perks to get across your point. “It’s not often I even get to do that, sir.”

”Sorry?”

”I don’t usually do a lot of ‘heroing’,” you did air quotes “because I don’t often get called on to do anything. As you... said before.”

Tony looked at you for a second, then nodded just a bit. He flipped the file shut. “Well, Alex.” He said as he stood. “Today is your lucky day.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry?”

”You’re going into the fray, Alex.” He smiled, signaling for you to stand. You complied.

”Walk with me.” He said.

You trailed behind him, a nervous wreck. What? Into the field? As in... you would finally, actually do something? A lump got caught in your throat, and a smile found its way into your face. 

Tony lead you down long, open hallways and gigantic rooms that really reminded you of how rich he was until he reached a door. He looked at you and said “I know your practically dying to hear what you’ll be doing... but first I wanted to show you some prototypes.”

”Prototypes?” You repeated.

Tony nodded. “In your application, you expressed a certain... desire to have a suit.”

”Were the concept drawings too much?”

”Nope. They actually helped in my design.”

He opened the door, and you were met with five suits lining a wall across from you. You gasped.

You had multiple suits.

”These are...” You put your hands to your mouth.

Tony walked inside, looking at each of the suits, seemingly admiring his own handicraft. “Yeah, when I saw you had literally no defensive measures whatsoever, I decided to whip up a few from the drawings you gave me. All the bells and whistles. I really outdid myself.”

You couldn’t answer. You just kept staring at them— all five of them were perfect. The first was your favorite— it had a basic helmet and visor covering your eyes, and the helmet came around to cover your mouth as well. It was a protective mask, and it had a little antenna-like things on either side, or were they more like wings? Ears? Whatever they were, you loved them. The metal plates on the suit looked formed to shape your body. It was amazing. The other four were brilliant as well— all varying styles and functionalities.

They were all the perfect shades of blue, just like you imagined.

Against your will, your eyes began to tear up. You hiccuped, and covered your mouth in embarrassment. You were crying.

Sniffing, you looked away, trying to rub away the tears before Tony could see. Too late, he already heard.

”Is there something in your eye, Alex?” He seemed you be trying to spare you embarrassment, but there was a hint of smile in his voice. 

“Yes.” You choked out. “It’s tears.”

He laughed, crossing his arms and looking back at you. “It’s very flattering that the mere sight of my work makes you cry.” He pulled out a pocket square and waved it in your direction. “C’mon, kid. Dry up the waterworks.”

You snuffed, trying not to whimper as you accepted the hankie and dried your eyes. Suits! Your very own suits! You barely even allowed yourself to dream about ONE suit, let alone five. After one last nose-blow, you handed it back to Tony. He haphazardly just kind of threw it to then side.

”So,” he looked at you. “I didn’t make these just as a little crafting project.” He said. “Like I said, you’re going out into the field.”

”a-and I am so grateful for that, sir.” You regained a bit of composure, standing up straighter. “Really, I will do my best.”

”I would hope so. Because I got a call for help from a ways away, and they’re looking for someone capable.”

”Yeah! Yeah, I can do it! No problem!” You grinned.

”Glad to hear it, glad to hear it...” he trailed off, putting his hands in his pockets. He went quiet again.

”So...” You broke the silence. “Where am I needed? I mean, I can go anywhere.” You babbled. “It doesn’t matter.”

Tony looked at you, biting his lip in what seemed to be... nervousness? “Alex,” he said. “Have you ever heard of the Guardians of the Galaxy?”

You hadn’t.

* * *

 

After one long, exciting, confusing, and overall just scary explanation later, you were briefed on who the Guardians were and what they did.

The idea that there were tons of space terrorists (that was the only thing you could think to call them) that wanted to destroy the galaxy was, unnerving, of course— but the galaxy seemed fine by your standards, so you guessed that they were doing a good job.

There were apparently seven. members— Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Mantis, and Nebula.

Your stomach flipped at the thought of it turning to eight— the very thought of you being a Guardian if the Galaxy.

Which brought the conversation you and Tony were having you a screeching halt.

”Wait—“ You choked out. “You still haven’t told me what these Guardians want.” 

“Well, that’s just the thing.” Tony shrugged. “It’s not you.”

Your heart plummeted.

”There are these people called the Nova Corps— they’re like space cops— and the Guardians are kind of almost always on their chops. Causing a lot of trouble. There’s a lot of unsolved turmoil and all that in their team, and it can interfere with the tasks at hand when they’re at each other’s throats all the time. So, they need to reach an emotional equilibrium, or at least have some member of their team that can tone it down a notch. For the sake of the Galaxy. So, the Nova Corps reached out to me and asked to see what I could find. And I found you.”

You looked up at him, your heart finding it’s proper place in your chest. You wanted to thank him for clarifying, but first you were going to chew him out for dropping the ball on you like that. “You— you cant just pull the rug out from underneath me like that! Sir!”

”Sorry. My fault.” Tony grimaced. “What I meant to say was, they didn’t ask me specifically for you, but I offered you up, so now you can thank me.”

”Thank you.” You said without hesitation.

”You’re welcome.”

”So...” You tapped a finger to your chin. “Will I be... a Guardian of the Galaxy?”

”I mean, that’s their call. I’m just giving you to them.”

You nodded slowly. “Okay... so... when do I meet with them?”

Tony checked his watch. “In about two hours.” He looked back up at your astounded face. “I’m very glad that you’re so thrilled about this, because universal communications are so damn slow. The no-go would have reached them by tomorrow.” 

He stood, and clapped his hands together. “Well,” he smiled. “Go pack your things. You’re going to be in space for awhile. I’ll contact your job and whoever you pay rent to so they can know you’re out saving our galaxy.”

You sat, unmoving for just a moment as he began to walk away. “Wait!” You shot up. “I haven’t even tried on any of the suits!”

”Oh, right.” Tony walked back, and stood in front of the first suit. He held onto the ear-wing things, clicked them once forwards, then back.

The suit dematerialized in seconds, and you could the the tiny metal bits curl up and in on themselves, like jagged fern sprouts. They curled and curled until every bit of metal reached the visor, which was the only thing left attached to the wings. Tony threw it at you, and you caught it.

”Nano-technology. Just put the visor on your face, click it once front to back, then it should be good. You can click down the other four, too— I need to get to the landing site. I’ll send one of my suits to come get you.” Tony turned back and began walking away.

”Can I wear these in public?!” You called after him, clicking down the second suit.

”Hey, they’re yours!”

You grinned.

* * *

 An hour and a half later, you had three suitcases and a backpack filled with your belongings. It was about all that was in your apartment anyway, minus the furniture.

You had travelled a lot because of your parents jobs, so you knew what to pack for each place. But space was a new frontier. You just packed everything that still fit you— you were sure there was some mall planet or somewhere you could get clothes if you needed it.

Your phone, headphones, numerous sketchbooks and drawing supplies, books, assorted knickknacks, a couple candles your mom got you, your 3DS, toiletries, hairbrush, extra contacts, glasses, satchel, and a few other things were once your backpack. Plus the four suits (travel friendly form) you hadn’t looked at yet, and the visor for your favorite was in your left hand.

With your right hand on the doorknob to your apartment, you looked back at the barren place you would no longer live. The melancholy mundane reminder of your life.

Good riddance.

You slammed it shut, suitcases in tow, and clicked on your suit.

The metal unfurled, cold on the bare parts of your skin. You shivered at the feeling. It was as if you were a Russian nesting doll— it was perfectly fitted in every part of you body, like a second skin. Your vision was tinted darker by the visor, and you could feel the little head-wings click and move— like cat ears. You giggled, giddy, looking at all the little screens that showed your vitals and such. You wondered if there was an AI like Friday in here, but you were a little too scatterbrained to check. Plus, if anyone was around, you didn’t want them to hear you talking to yourself.

You looked down into the left corner of your vision and saw a tab— this was clearly in beginners mode, to help the wearer learn the ropes. It said “additional functions”.

You didn’t know how to select it, but it popped up anyway. The list read:

Heightened Defense, Minor Wound Healing, Medical Supply Kit, Motion Sensors, Heat Sensors, Emergency Contact Numbers, Oxygen Supply...

You scanned the list, continuing for what seemed like ages. Bells and whistles indeed, Tony. But one thing the piqued your interest was labeled Jet Boots.

”Hell Yes.” You whispered.

You selected that node (still not really knowing how you did it) and a voice said “training mode: on”. The jets, under your heels, kicked on, and you yelped and you began to float. It was such an odd sensation— but you might as well get used to it, since you were going to be in space.

Your stomach flipped again. Space.

Dismissing the thought, you grabbed the handles of the suitcases in your hands. You thanked Tony mentally for the suit, because there would have been no way to wheel around three suitcases without either having a third hand or being able to fly.

You willed then to thrust, and they did so— too hard. You immediately hit your head on the overhand about you and fell back to the ground, on your ass.

”Ow.” You groaned, getting back up. You hoped to God no one saw you. Shaking out your hands, you tried to pump yourself up.

”Okay,” You murmured, gently coaxing the suit to lift you higher. “Gently does it...”

You lifted, and the suitcases came up with you. Apparently, the suit was also great at carrying things. “I am literally the coolest person on planet Earth right now.” You whispered, giddy.

Out of the balcony you went, so excited you didn’t even think about the fact you were on the fourth floor. You just flew. Nothing could stop you now. You had no clue where you were going, but you rocketed, out of control, but you didn’t care. You were high enough so you wouldn’t hit any buildings, and the numerous cases you had felt like feathers.

You were unstoppable, whooping and yelling into the sky.

* * *

 Eventually, one of Tony’s suits did find you, and lead you flying on top of Stark Tower.

I could have gotten here myself, you thought. 

It was a bit of a bumpy landing— you had never landed a suit with jet feet before— but you were proud enough with your stumble of a descent. You allowed yourself a little fist pump.

You placed your bags on the roof and rolled up the visor of your suit, exposing your eyes. You had been experimenting with a couple of the features of the suit, and you were still getting the hang of things. It was kind of hard.

Tony waved as you plunked your bags down, and he meandered over, hands in his pockets. “You look like you had fun.”

”I— this— this is amazing. This is literally the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”

”Well, in a few minutes, it’ll be greater.” Tony smiled. “Now we wait.”

You nodded, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

”How’s the suit feel?” Tony said.

”Like I was born to wear it.” You couldn’t help but grin.

”Good answer. Don’t let it go to you head. A good suit is only ever worth what’s piloting it.”

”I’ll try to stay humble.” You smiled wider.

Silence fell like a blanket over the two of you again, and Tony coughed.

”You got any family to say goodbye to?”

You shook your head. “I’m not super close with my family. Now that I think about it, the only ones I’m really close to are my younger siblings. Haven’t talked to them in awhile. It’s also not like I’m leaving any broken hearts behind either, so...” 

You looked up at him. “I’m not leaving anything behind, if that what you’re asking.”

Tony just nodded.

”So,” he looked at you. “I see you’ve used the jet boots.”

”Oh yeah! It’s the best.” You grinned. “I think I’m a natural. I only fell once.”

”That’s the training mode.” Tony said bluntly.

”Thanks for your faith in my abilities.” Your normally shy personality was getting chattier after this change of events.

”If I didn’t have faith in you,I wouldn’t be putting you on a spaceship to help defend our Galaxy.” He stated.

Then it hit you. It had always been in the back of your mind, ever since Tony showed you your suits. It had been this way for a while now, actually, as soon as you found out about your powers. An intrusive thought that dug it’s way into your brain and bit down and didn’t let go. Self-doubt wasn’t a pretty thing.

”...Do you... really think I can do this?” You said cautiously. The high you were riding began to fade. “I’ve... never been on a real job before. And now...” you looked to the ground.

”They’re going to train you. I’d never give an inexperienced random person to anyone who would hurl them into battle without warning.” Tony looked back over to you.

You were still starting at your feet. Your backpack started to feel heavier.

”Hey.” He said. “Look at me.”

You tore away your gaze from your rocket boots and looked him in the eye. You wish you had your visor back on.

”You can do this.” He said evenly. “You have amazing powers and you will do some great things up there.” He looked up to the sky now. “If I didn’t believe in you, I wouldn’t let you guard our galaxy.”

Your gaze lingered on him for a moment before looking up to the sky, trying to see what he was looking at.

”You understand?” He said.

”...Yes.” The words weren’t entirely reassuring. But he did have a point. You did your best to breathe, focus on the metal on your skin, and try your best to not have a panic attack.

”Thanks.” You said.

”No problem.”

The two of you stood staring at the sky for a little while more before you broke the silence.

”Do they know anything about me?” You asked.

”They know what I told them.” Tony replied, not faltering. “I talked with the leader, Peter Quill, about what you could provide for the team.”

”Peter Quill...” you repeated his name.

”He’s a real jackass.” Tony mumbled.

”And the others?”

”They know as much about you as you know about them, I guess.”

You exhaled. “Ooh, boy...”

”What?”

”It’s just...” you sighed, trying to calm your nerves. “First impressions are always stressful for me. Especially in big groups. It’s even worst because I’m going to live with these guys on a secluded ship for— who even knows how long?”

”You’re going to be in space, and what you’re worried about is the company?”

”I’m worried about—“ you began. But then you heard something. You looked up to the sky, and saw what seemed to Ben a shooting star. But it shot once, then twice, then zig-zagged into the atmosphere. You heard a noise, like a faraway plane coming in to land.

”You better stop worrying.” Tony said. “They’re here.”

You jumped. “Augh! No! What do— do I keep the suit on, or take it off? Do introduce myself as Pacify, or Alex?!”

Tony couldn’t hear your cries over the sound of the ship landing; you had to cover your ears and roll down your visor again as to not get any debris in your eyes.

Finally, the ship seemed stabilized. You squinted your eyes through the dark visor, and rolled it up again. You could see the door opening. In a panic, you decided to take off the suit, and in two clicks it was gone. You gripped the visor like a life preserver.

Finally, it opened, and your stomach was tying itself up in knots.

Here we go.

A human man came out first. He was wearing a long, red coat and had brown hair and stubble. He saw you and Tony, then grinned. He came down the stairs of the ship and up to the two of you.

”Hey, Tones!” He gave Tony a hearty slap on the shoulder. “Great to see you again.”

Tony just said “Yeah.” And patted him back emotionlessly. The human looked to you.

”Hey, Alex!” He said your name! “I’m Peter. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.

Your reached out with your right hand, which was still clutching the visor. You blushed, put it in your left, and gave him a handshake. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you. I— uh, I’m really looking forward to this.”

“Glad you are,” said a voice from behind Quill. You peered over his shoulder and saw a woman with dark maroon hair, green skin, and a sword on either hip. Your heart did a backflip. She was an alien, and pretty attractive to boot. “Because if you weren’t, you’d be driven crazy on day one.” 

She held out her hand to shake as well, and you took it eagerly. “I-I’m sure I won’t go crazy.” You assured her. “I’m Alex. It’s g-great to meet you.” You bit your lip, embarrassed by the stutter.

”Gamora.” She replied. She didn’t seem very warm, but she was polite enough.

Moments after the two of you shook hands, more people— scratch that. Not people. Anything but people. More aliens came up from behind them, a few looking around at the surroundings. Maybe they had never even been on Earth before.

A very muscular gray man came up from behind Quill and looked at you. “You are our new member?”

You nodded fearfully, wary of the gargantuan size of his muscles. Also, he didn’t have a shirt on, and for someone you just met, that made you very uncomfortable. “Y-yeah.” You held out a hand to shake. “I’m Alex.”

He guffawed. “I cannot shake your hand!” He yelled. “You are puny! You would break the moment I touched you!”

”Drax,” Quill said in a reprehending tone.

”It’s fine.” You forced a smile under the pressure. “I am pretty weak.”

”See? She admits it.” Drax said to Quill.

Gamora rolled her eyes, and a raccoon walked— yes, walked, as in on its hind legs— next to her. What looked to be a sentient tree playing an old-fashioned video game was shuffling behind it.

”Geez,” the raccoon said. “This place is a real disaster. I get now why you left Earth, Quill.”

”You know it wasn’t my choice.”

”Tomato, tomàto.”

”They are not the same thing.” Drax replied. “Tomatoes and tomàtoes are different things entirely.”

You could hardly get a word in, and looked over to Tony, getting increasingly nervous. He just shrugged back at you.

Gamora broke up everyone’s talking. “The little one there is Rocket.” She pointed at the raccoon. “And he’s Groot.”

You squatted down to Rocket’s level and offered a hand to shake. “Hi, Rocket.” You tried to activate a kind aura to cover up your nervousness. “I’m Alex.”

”And I’m uninterested.” He was fiddling with a little device in his hands that you couldn’t quite identify. “Why should I care?”

You recoiled, standing up straight before Peter have him a little kick in the side and hissed “dude.” You turned your attention to Groot now, who hadn’t even looked up from his game. “Hi, Groot, I’m—“

”I am Groot.” He said, practically attached to his game. He seemed to be introducing himself, but it was in a mocking tone of voice.

You were confused until Rocket said “Whoa, kid! Watch the language!”

Peter looked at you. “He’s going through a phase.”

”Right...” you said.

There were two more figures who had been lurking behind the other five, and Peter turned to bring them into the group. He waved his hand over, and one figure came, but the other didn’t.

The compliant one was an alien woman with dark, dark eyes, pale skin, and antennae. She seemed curious about you.

“This is Mantis.” Peter said.

You reached your hand out to Mantis. “Hi, I’m Alex.”

”Hello, Alex.” She took your hand, and her antennae began to glow. For a moment, you furrowed your brows, wondering what was going on.

”You are nervous.” She said, letting go of your hand.

You blushed. “Was it that obvious?”

”No! I am an empath. I can read other people’s emotions.”

You smiled. “Really? Hey, me too!”

Her eyes lit up in excitement as she grinned a gentle, childlike smile. “Really?”

Rocket groaned. “God, are we getting another Mantis? We don’t need that! We already have one!”

”I am Groot.” Groot chimed in.

”Yeah, you said it.”

”Rocket, she is not ‘another Mantis’. She can do other kickass stuff. Right?” He turned back to you.

Oh geez. Well, time to shine. “Yeah, uh...” you fumbled with the visor in your hand. “This is pretty kickass, I guess.”

You our the visor up to your eyes, clicked the wings twice, and the metal unfurled once more into your body. You heard exclamations from the group as the suit took its form, happy that the mask came out first so you could grin self-indulgently.

You clicked up the visor to see everyone clearly. Peter looked awestruck. Gamora looked impressed, and Drax was full-on cheering. Actually, it was more like a battle cry. Was he screaming “blood, blood, blood”?! Mantis was astounded. The loitering figure by the ship had still yet to move. And Rocket was... laughing?

”Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!” He cried. “That’s some real nice machinery!”

You smiled. “Thanks. I have four others.”

For some reason, this caused Rocket to laugh even harder. “Four?!” He shouted. “You got five in all of those things?!”

You were wondering what was so funny until Rocket looked up to Peter and said “Hey! Quill! How many suits do YOU have?”

Peter scratched the back of his neck and looked to the ground. Gamora was trying to bite back laughter. Peter mumbled something.

”What?” Rocket said playfully, putting a paw up to his ear. 

“One, I have one, and one is all that I need, I don’t need five suits!” He clicked something behind his ear, and something similar to your suit activated. A mask with two red eyeholes appeared, and you audibly went “ooh.”

”That’s not a suit! That’s a mask. Not nearly as great as Five Suits over here.” His voice got sickly sweet when saying ‘five suits’, and it made you uncomfortable. Man, he was obviously trying to irritate everyone close to him.

”I can get the job done without five suits!” Peter sucked in a breath, deactivating the mask so you could see his apologetic expression. “Sorry; Alex, not that—“

”No, no, it’s okay.” You assured him. You clicked it back into portable mode, taking off the visor. “I’m new to this. I probably do need the suits.”

Rocket stopped laughing and went back to fiddling with his device. “So, you’re incompetent then, huh Five Suits?”

You stammered, and Gamora sighed. “Please ignore him. It’s the only way to stay sane.”

”He is a very mean puppy.” Mantis said, not an ounce of joking in her voice.

Rocket just grumbled and began walking back to the ship. “Come on. I don’t want to spend any more time than I have to on this trash heap of a planet.” Groot followed suit behind him.

”What? No!” Peter whined. “ I haven’t been here in, like, thirty years! I have so many movies to catch up on!”

Tony chimed in. “Not long enough. I think it’s about time you head out.”

”We cannot take our heads out.” Drax said. “That would kill us.”

Tony shook his head, exasperated. “Just leave.”

”Very well.” Drax turned, and Mantis followed after. Gamora pat Quill on the shoulder, and then walked off as well. 

Peter sighed. “Sorry.” He said, crossing his arms. “They can be a handful.”

You shook your head. “It’s alright.” You smiled.

”Well, I hope you learn how to cope.” Tony clapped his hands together, and started walking to the stairwell. “Good luck, Alex.”

”Thank you, Tony!”

He lifted up a hand as a half hearted, cursory goodbye, then walked back down the stairs. 

“You should have called him Mr. Stark.” Peter said. “He hates that.”

You laughed. “I know.”

”Alright, well... looking forward to having you on the team.” Quill nodded.

You smiled back and stood up a bit straighter. “I promise I won’t let you down.”

”I’m sure you won’t, Alex.” Peter smiled.

He looked down at your bags, each one pretty big. He sighed and mumbled “we should’ve kept Drax out here.” He turned back around and made eye contact with the last figure, who was trying to exit onto the ship. “Nebula!” He called out.

The figure turned in the middle of taking a step— a blue woman, with mechanical features. She had the darkest eyes you had ever seen, and a robotic arm. Your heart flipped for what seemed like the thousandth time today. She was intimidatingly beautiful, and gave off such a powerful and ‘Don’t-Touch-Me’ aura that it made you shudder. She was incredibly attractive; in the looks department, not really personality-wise.

”Hey, could you help us with these bags?”

Your anxiety flared. You did not want to get on Nebula’s bad side, even though you just met her. Your powers lent you the ability to  feel others emotions— not in the sense that if someone is sad, you cry. It’s more like  feeling in your gut rather than your heart. And Nebula made your stomach dive bomb, and you didnt know if it was because of her beauty, or because of her attitude.

Maybe both.

In any case, she complied, walking over. She walked as if she’s were on a catwalk, if everyone was looking at her and she couldn’t care less. You stared, trying to rip your eyes away from her. You wished you had your suit back on so she couldn’t see your expression.

As she walked towards you, you attempted to introduce yourself. “H-hi, I’m—“

Nebula grabbed the handle of one of the bags, and hefted the suitcase over her shoulder with one hand. She lifted it in the same casual way one may carry groceries, or a coin purse.

You stopped mid-sentence, frozen, hand stretched outwards for a handshake.

Her dark eyes looked at you, then down at your hand, then back at you. She turned on her heel and walked off back to the ship, hips swinging like a pendulum.

”...I guess she doesn’t know suitcases have wheels.” Peter started rolling the suitcase towards the ship. You snapped out of your trance, grabbed the final case, and followed. “Sorry about Nebula. She’s a stone-cold biatch.”

”I can see that. Her aura is a force to be reckoned with.”

”Her aura? You can see auras too?”

”I mean, not in the traditional sense. It’s not so much an aura as a feeling. I can’t really say ‘she makes me sick to my stomach’... so i just say ‘aura’.”

Peter laughed as he wheeled up the bag. “Okay, Alex, I’m going to like having you around. It’ll finally be good to have another human on board.” He gasped as he reached the top of the stairs. “You can tell me about all the movies I missed!”

”Oh— yeah, sure thing! I also brought some music and stuff for the ride—“ 

Peter immediately hugged you tightly. “Alex Goldfinch, I think I love you.”

You laughed nervously, knowing full well he was joking, but still not knowing how to respond. “Any time” was your best guess to an unabashed declaration of fake love.

After Quill released you, you dragged your case up the final step. You walked into the ship, and your jaw dropped. You set your bag down with the other two and let your backpack slip off your shoulders and fall to the floor.

It was awesome. There was a ladder leading you to what seemed to be a sky deck, and you could see the bridge (the pilot’s place) to your left. There were hallways that lead off into separate rooms, and everyone was gathered in the main deck part of the ship, just sort of doing their own thing. The exposed pipes and whirring machinery was just more and more alluring, as if the ship was stuffed with billions of little hidden details and secrets.

Rocket laughed at your expression. “What’s the matter? Never been on a spaceship before?”

”Everything that has happened to me today is a first for me.” You responded, unable to tear your eyes away from the amazing interior of the ship.

”Well, we’re about you take off, flarknards.” Rocket walked to the bridge. “So if you want this to be you’re last time on a spaceship, Five Suits, then you can hop off.”

”No way.” You replied. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

”If only.” He muttered, continuing to the pilot seat. Upon further inspection, there were actually multiple seats.

”You can go sit in one, if you want.” Gamora offered.

”You have no idea how much I want to.” You grinned in response.

As you made your way to sit in a seat, Rocket stopped you. “Ah-ah. Nuh-uh. Grown-ups only, Five Suits.”

”I’m twenty—“ you tried to say, but Rocket just tried to shoo you off.

”Nah-ah! This is my ship, and I’m not risking some human messing up the controls!”

”Actually, the Milano is my ship,” Peter said, “And Alex can have a seat if she wants.”

”Well, she ain’t gettin’ mine.” He plunked into one of the seats up front, and began messing with the controls.

”You can sit in mine, just to spite him.” Gamora said, gesturing at a seat you were standing near.

You grinned. Gamora was a real good egg.

You made yourself comfortable in the chair, and craned your neck so you could look up at the sky. It was blue now, but soon it would be black, littered with stars and planets and faraway suns, and the blurring watercolor of universes crashing into each other, galaxies and black holes and billions of light years, stretching past one another so long and so far that you could never truly reach the same place twice. Moons and meteors and celestial bodies would soon surround you, and you would finally become a part of something bigger than yourself.

You sniffed, rubbing your eyes at the mere thought of it.

”Awww, is little Five Suits gonna cry?” Rocket said in a childish tone, trying to goad you on.

Through a lump in your throat, you said “Yeah.” You turned your head downwards and looked him dead in the eye, smiling. “Yeah, maybe.” To get the best of him, just a little bit, you put out a melancholy aura for Rocket to pick up on.

Rocket grumbled and turned around in his chair. He must be good at bottling up his emotions. “Launching.” He said to no on in particular.

You bounced a little in the seat excitedly before gripping onto the armrests tightly. You had flown on planes plenty of times before, and you tried to tell yourself that this was no different.

But your thought process was broken by the sound of the thrusters activating, and the landing gear lifting. The Milano was aerial. You looked over to your left to see Peter coming down the stairs, sitting in the seat next to Rocket— were there... were there two pilot’s seats?! Peter shot a glare at Rocket.

”Don’t be a douche and give isn’t a shaky takeoff.” Peter said, pushing a few buttons and taking hold onto a lever.

”Me? Please. I couldn’t fly badly if I tried.” Rocket revved the engines, causing you to yelp. He laughed loudly, then moved the ship upwards and forwards.

It was certainly different than a plane takeoff— there was no forward movement to kickstart the flight. It just... lifted. The feeling was horrifying, but invigorating. The Milano lifted, ever so slowly, then it rocketed forward with no warning, causing your head to whip backwards and hit the headrest. You cursed, and Rocket laughed louder.

You shut your eyes in pain, rubbing where you hit. But when you opened your eyes, you had left Earth.

And there it was. The inky, deep blackness of space. It had surrounded you, and it was better than any TV screen you had ever seen it on. No theater or high-def whatever could compose just how... much of it there was. You stood, involuntary, lips parted, and unable to rip your eyes from the abyss above you. 

This meant something. All this emptiness and vast nothingness, it meant everything. It meant leaving behind a life of mediocrity, or indecisiveness, of average and everything that entailed. Now, your life was about flying across the galaxy, being a hero, and having five—count ‘em— Five Suits. You we’re  lost in the infinity that surrounded you and everything it meant.

You walked forward, down to where Rocket and Peter were sitting to get a wider lens of the space around you.

Rocket scoffed. “Sheesh. Staring at us, staring at the ship, staring at space. Is there anything you can look normally at?”

”Shh, she is having a cosmic moment.” Drax said, now sitting in his seat. “The true density and expanse of the universe is setting into her feeble human mind.” He leaned forward slightly and whispered, “She may explode.”

You didn’t even have anything to say. You just kept staring. 

“It’s amazing.” You were able to say after a moment.

”Its SPACE. It’s just a whole lotta nothing.” Rocket shot back.

You shook your head, just the smallest bit.

”It is very pretty.” Mantis said, cocking her head.

After Rocket swatted at you to sit back down (“don’t cry on my controls”) you sat back down. You gasped silently and rustled your pockets, looking for your phone. You pulled it out and aimed it up at the expanse of space and took a picture.

You looked down at the product. It really couldn’t compare.

Putting your phone down in your pocket, you craned your head to look at Quill. “Hey, Peter?”

He turned in his seat. “Yeah?”

”So, uh, what’s the plan?”

”Wait for the Galaxy to make trouble. Then we save it.” He shrugged. 

You grinned. “Looking forward to it.”


	2. Adaption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time to learn— about the people you’re alone in space with, if you can wield dual swords, or if you can get the smell of raccoon vomit out of your clothes.
> 
> Or learn if you can mentally survive an encounter with Nebula.

After gawking and gaping at the expanse of space got old (you could never conceive the idea that staring into the stars would get old) you gathered up your things to get out of everyone’s way. Rocket could complain like no one you had ever met, and you didn’t want him to go moving your things anyway. You pushed the bags down the hallway, to the room where you would stay.

Mantis was kind enough to show you your room. It was empty, save for a bed attached to the wall and a built-in dresser. There was a window, sort of like a porthole, the exposed the vastness of space here as well.

”Thanks, Mantis.” You smiled at her.

She mimicked your smile. “You are welcome, Alex.”

She lingered in the doorway for just a moment. “You know... I am very happy to have another empath on our team.”

Your heart softened. Her aura was so gentle and genuine, you couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside. “Of course, Mantis. I’m happy I have met you. Someone who understands what I do a bit, yknow?”

Her face lit up. “I do know!” She clapped her hands excitedly. “I am also happy to have someone who is kind.”

You cocked your head, a little nervous. “Is... everyone else not kind?”

Mantis shook her head. “Oh, no. They are kind. Just... different.”

You sat down on your bed, and pat an empty spot next to you. Mantis approached slowly— was she unfamiliar with genuine welcome intentions?

”Well... everyone is kind, in their own way. Peter shares us his music, and enjoys our company... but he can be bad, too.”

”Bad?”

She nodded. “Peter likes to be the leader. But sometimes, others think he is not a good leader.”

You hummed. “Okay. Well, good to know. But he’s nice, for the most part?”

”Oh, yes!” Her face lights up. “He is the nicest of all! Except you.”

You blushed and smiled. “Why, thank you, Mantis.” You said playfully. Talking to her is similar to talking to a child. “What about the others?”

”Drax is funny. He loves to play practical jokes. He calls me ugly.”

Record scratch, what?

”Sorry, that last one? He calls you ugly?” You chose your words carefully.

”He is not very polite, pointing out my ugliness.”

”You aren’t even ugly to begin with!”

She laughs. That’s a little worrying, but maybe she doesn’t understand what ugly means...? That’s the only feasible explanation you can offer. Either that, or she is in the seventh circle of self-deprecating humor.

”and Rocket...” she doesn’t say anything after that. She just looks at you and shakes her head.

”Is he like that all the time?” You ask.

”Sometimes he is better. Most times, he is a lot worse.”

”I see.”

”And Groot used to be the kindest, but ever since he became a ‘teen-aged-der’... he is mean.”

”That’s what happens sometimes, with teens.” You shrug. “By the way... does he ever say anything other than ‘I am Groot’?”

”No.”

You waited for her to offer explanation as to why, but she doesn’t. You just nod.

”Gamora can be scary.” Mantis shivered. “She is the Galaxy’s most dangerous woman.”

You raises your eyebrows. That was a very... not-childlike thing to say. “The galaxy’s most dangerous woman?”

”Yes. She was raised by Thanos... and so was Nebula.”

”They’re sisters?” You had no idea who Thanos is, so you thought you would circle back around to that later.

Mantis nodded.

”I don’t see the resemblance.”

”He stole them from their families. I think... because Thanos did such bad things... that is why they are sometimes bad.”

You nodded. Sounds about right. You really needed to put a tab on this Thanos guy.

”Hey...” you started. Can you... can you tell me more about Nebula?” Your face turned a little red, but you attempted to use a confident aura to hide your nervousness.

Mantis’ antennae twitched and she looked at you strangely. “Are you using your powers?”

You held your breath, then released it. No use lying. “Yes. I was. I got nervous asking about Nebula.”

”Why are you nervous?”

You released another long, slow breath. The weird combination of fear and infatuation would be an embarrassing thing for someone to know about— let alone a chatty alien who doesn’t seem to be good at keeping secrets. 

“I’m just in an unfamiliar place. I’ve never met any... can i say aliens? Is that okay?”

Mantis looked up at the ceiling, pouting her lip in thought. “I do not know.” She looks back at you. “I think it is okay.” 

”Okay, Good. Yeah. Nebula is just... new to me.”

Mantis looks at the doorway, then back to you as she spoke. “I was scared of Nebula too, at first.” She whispered. “She was mean. But she was also scared. She was scared of us, and even her sister. Scared that her sister was better than her.”

You could only nod. This is some very personal stuff that Mantis is just casually letting spill... but you don’t know if you could even get her to stop. 

She leaned back, looking at you meaningfully.

You didn’t know how to respond, and thankfully, Drax interrupted by knocking on your door and saying “We are getting dinner! I’ll see if we can get a feast because of you, puny human!”

Mantis stood up, hands clasped together, and she looked down at you. “Thank you, Alex.” She smiled. Then she walked out, without another word.

You didn’t even get to start unpacking.

* * *

You walked out of your room, unsure if it was dinner that would be prepared on the ship, or if it was take out. Somehow. The thought of an alien McDonalds was oddly amusing to you. Improbabale, But very funny.

Peter walked by, and you caught up to him. “Hey, Peter? Drax said we were gonna get dinner?”

”Yeah. We’re making a stop at Knowhere. There’s this great bar, I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Did he just say no where? Probably the name of some odd planet. ”Oh—“ you started. “I’m not sure if I can go.”

”Why not?” 

“I’m not the legal drinking age.”

Before Peter could reply, Rocket cackled nearby. “This ain’t Earth, Five Suits! I don’t think they’ll care that much.”

”I’ve also just... never drank before.” You tried to ignore Rocket, but his teasing made you sheepish. He was annoying. And good at it, too.

”Hey, you don’t have to if you dont want.” Quill kept messing with his popped collar, trying to get it to stand perfectly straight up. “We could hold off on the drinking and just get to know you.”

Rocket scoffed. “You can go on ahead. I’ll be helping myself to some top shelf booze.”

Peter shook his head at Rocket. “Can’t see if you're Guardian material without knowing you.”

You shrugged. “Fair enough.”

”So this is a drunk interview?” Gamora said, emerging from the bridge, arms folded.

”Uh, no. Alex and I will be fully sober.” Peter said pridefully.

”You will not be sober, Quill.” Drax said bluntly. “You will be massively intoxicated. And as will I. There’s no use lying like a coward; just tell everyone you are going to drink a lot of alcohol, then pass out.”

Gamora looked at you and shook her head. You smiled back at her.

Rocket piped up, standing up on the table nearby as to appear taller. “Alright, So we got me, Drax, and Peter having multiple drinks and getting trashed. Groot’s staying here.”

“I am Groot.” He grunted, still playing the same video game.

“Because I said so. So does that mean let the ladies are staying back?”

“Alcohol tastes disgusting.” Mantis  stuck out her tongue in disgust. “I will stay here, and take care of Groot.”

”I am Groot.”

Rocket barked “Hey!” At Groot for whatever he said.

”I know Peter won’t retain any semblance of sobriety, so I’ll do without.” Gamora said, putting her thumbs through her belt loops.

“Alright, and I know Five Suits is staying dry.” Rocket said before you could say anything. “I think we have a game plan.”

You looked around, and everyone seemed satisfied with that. You couldn’t help feel as if something was out of place, and you began to say something once everyone started to disperse. 

“Um—“ you began, a little louder than needed. Everyone turned to look back at you, Rocket doing so with an exaggerated groan.

”What about Nebula?” You asked with genuine confusion.

”Nebula? Going out with us? Ha!” Rocket practically wheezed. “Real good one there, Five Suits! You almost had me!” Rocket walked away laughing, making you feel stupid.

Your face seemed to show it, because Gamora put a hand on your shoulder. “My sister doesn’t really...” She seemed to struggle for the right word.

”Do things?” Peter offered. “With people?”

Gamora sighed. “Yes. Nebula isn’t really a social person, and it’s best that you leave her alone.”

”She will like you the most if she never sees you.” Drax said.

You nodded. You weren’t focusing on their words— rather, the aura that was coming off of Gamora. You felt bad, intrusive almost, for peeping into her emotions uninvited. But it was hard not to, sometimes.

Her aura was somber, a disappointed one. As if she wanted her sister to come out. It was a longing, but it had so many layers it would be impossible to peel them all back, to find the personal and intimate history shared between these two siblings. You personally didn’t want to see this very private past, or have it revealed to you without their express permission, so you tapped out of the aura.

”Right.” You nodded. “I’ll stay out of her way, then.”

Gamora smiled, but it was awfully sad, and even without your emotional abilities you could see traces of hurt behind her eyes.

* * *

 The ship had docked into Knowhere, a planet made out of the gigantic, dead, hollowed out head of a celestial being. The very thought made you shudder— it was equal parts horrific and amazing. Just because you were a pacifist didn’t mean you were a wuss who couldn’t handle being in the decapitated head of a dead god.

No. That would be silly.

It was a crowded district that was teeming with merchants, aliens of all types, and different kinds of wares to be sold and foods to be eaten. It truly was an assault on the senses— but it really wasn’t  all that different from New York, now that you thought about it. Dark, murky, but oddly aulluring. Filled with tons of people and tons of stores that were most likely tourist traps, and odd, unfamiliar  people who would jostle your shoulders without so much as a “Sorry”.

You finally got to the bar, which was more spacious, thankfully, than the crowded streets. It was populated with a few aliens here and there, but nothing too much. You relaxed, muscles relaxing that you didn’t even know were tensed.

Rocket hopped up on a barstool and slapped the countertop. “The good stuff.” He simply said. The bartender slid him a small, oddly shaped glass, and Rocket grabbed, downed, and set the cup back in one swift motion. He didn’t even pre-game or anything.

”I’m glad I chose not to drink.” You said to Gamora as you sat down at a booth.

Gemora nods. “We can all get pretty rowdy when we’re drunk. Saving the Galaxy requires a drink or two.”

You nod as you say “I would think so.”

You were pretty nervous about this, honestly. Gamora was universes out of your league in... about everything, it seemed. She was strong, quiet, and intimidating. At least, what you gathered from her so far. She was a capable person, and obviously the straight man of the group (that meaning she was the responsible one, not a female-attracted male) Hopefully your confident aura would be enough to BS your way through this— an awkward job interview.

”Now,” Gamora said. “Since Peter isn’t going to be sober, I’ll tell you what you need to know.” 

“Awesome. Thank you so much... Mantis actually told me a bit about you guys, too.”

Gamora lifted an eyebrow. “Like what?”

”Like how Drax calls her ugly and how you’re the most dangerous woman in the galaxy.”

Gamora laughs, looking into her lap. “She isn’t wrong. Drax can be... difficult. His people are a very literal one. He doesn’t know a lot about expressions. Or tact.”

You smiled. “Yeah, I got that from the ‘puny human’ stuff.”

”Drax hasn’t met a lot of humans.”

”Hey, I’m not denying that I’m puny. He could probably kill me using only his left bicep.” 

That got a very little smile out of Gamora. Score one for you!

”And the most dangerous woman in the galaxy part... yes.” Gamora said. “That’s true.”

You froze, kind of unaware how to react to this situation. “Huh.”

”Well, I was trained as a child to become a machine of death.” She said matter-of-factly. “And now I am.”

”...Cool.” You bobbed your head up and down in a forced nod. “Cool, um. That’s amazing.”

“My father stole me from my home planet and murdered half of the population, then pitted my sister and I against one another in an attempt to make us stronger.” She said this in the same way one might comment that it was raining, or that her outfit was all leather.

”I—“ well. There were those layers you saw earlier. “I’m— I am so sorry. I had no idea—“

”Don’t apologize.” A waiter came by and set down some waters. Once he left, Gamora took a sip of hers. “You couldn’t have known. I thought I should tell you before Mantis let it slip.”

”...She already told me a couple of those things.”

Gamora set her glass on the table a little harder than needed. She exhaled, then looked up at you. “Enough about myself. What about you?”

You couldn’t help but turn red. Even though this wasn’t a date, and you knew this wasn’t anything resembling a date, your subconscious couldn’t help thinking it was some kind of date. You said a wordless thank you to whatever space-god there is that the lights were low, so she probably couldn’t see it.

”Well, um.” You stammered. “I was born on Earth. Georgia. Grew up with three younger siblings, and my parents. Moved around every two years. I, uh, realized I have powers when I was twelve.”

”How’d you find out?” Gamora asked.

”Well, I’ve always been able to know how other people were feeling, and sometimes why they were feeling that way. I was able to really realize I had powers when I talked with people using only my mind. It was surreal, just sitting in math class when suddenly the kid sitting in front of me starts freaking out. I didn’t even realize I had done anything until I heard his voice in my head.”

Gamora listened intently to your story— she seemed to be a good listener, not making you feel like you were talking to a wall. She made you feel like she wanted to hear what you were going to say. You blushed again.

”So... yeah. It just want from there.”

Gamora hummed, taking a sip of her water. “Can’t you also access a pocket dimension? I heard Peter say something like that.”

”Yeah, actually! I can. It’s like— it’s like time-out, kind of. For the bad guys, I mean.”

You cringed when you called criminals “bad guys”.

”Uh, it’s also basically where I go to collect myself, sometimes. If I find the urge to hurt someone.”

She perked up. This looked like it needed explaining.

”I’m, uh, a pacifist. That’s why my ‘hero’ name is Pacify.” You explained. “Don’t worry, though!” You started to babble. “I’m not gonna be like ‘no, stop, don’t hurt them! Love and friendship!’ Fighting just... isn’t my thing.” You started to trail off.

”Alright. I’m glad you told me, because I probably would have given you these swords.” In one fell swoop, Gamora grabbed the swords on her hips, pulled them out of her sheaths, and twirled them in her fingers. “As a welcome gift.”

Your jaw dropped. “Whoa. Actually... can I have them anyway?” You asked sheepishly. Despite your pacifism, you had a healthy respect for swords, knives, cool space guns and any kind of weaponry. And these two swords were rad as hell.

Gamora nodded, handing them to you. You gingerly held the handles, pointing the blades upwards. You stared at them.

“Rad,” You whispered, under your breath.

Gamora giggled softly at your genuine feelings and covered her mouth slightly, as if trying to hide her smile.

As you watched her laugh, Peter shambled over, drink in hand. “Gamora!” He declared, a hand on his hip, “You’re laughing? Sometimes I forget you can show emotion.”

”Shut up, Quill.” Gamora shoved him slightly.

”Hey, Alex, when I first met Gamora back in prison, she tried to kill me. And that time I let her use my Walkman, she pulled a knife on me!”

You laughed, unsure if what he was saying was true or not, as he was clearly getting tipsy.

He looked at you, holding the swords. “Ooh, swords? Give ‘em to me, give ‘em. I can do a cool trick.”

”No, no you can’t. Go back to bar. More booze.” Gamora pushed him away, and he stumbled his way back to the barstool.

The two of you made eye contact and chuckled.

“I really don’t laugh often.” Gamora said. She looked down at her drink, one hand gripping it. “Being on this team... really opened me up. A few years ago, I would never even consider talking about... emotions.”

You chuckled, setting down your new swords and taking a sip of your own water. You were slightly surprised to find it tastes the same as the water on Earth.

“You can talk about emotions and still be the most dangerous woman in the galaxy.” You offer.

Gamora allowed herself a small smile. “True.”

You noticed Gamora stealing glances in Peter’s direction every now and then. You suspected there was something there, but you didn’t want to say anything to someone you just met. But... this was about learning about one another.

You cleared your throat. “So,” You took a sip. “Peter, huh?”

Not even hesitating, Gamora replied, “I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about that.”

You couldn’t decipher if she meant “with you” or “at all”. Either way, you blew it.

You slunk down in your seat, trying to read her aura, but there they were again— the layers. Gamora certainly had complicated feelings for Peter. No, scratch that. It was like a yarn ball that got horribly tangled and knotted in ways that seemed impossible. These weren’t layers, or even folds. It was just a mess. You decided to just quietly sip your water and not say anything more, as not to create any more tension.

”Sorry.” Gamora said, breaking the tension.

Your head shot up. “No! No, no. It was out of line of me. I just met you guys. I should be sorry.”

”It’s fine.” Gamora took another sip of her water.

As you reached for your water again, your stomach growled loudly. Embarrassed, you pulled your arm back.

”Are you hungry?” Gamora asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

”Yeah, a little bit.” You said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, nervous.

Gamora immediately waved down a waiter and turned to you. “What do you want?”

”Um— I’ve never had any non-earth food before.” You tried to push down the lump in your throat. She was buying you dinner. This really did feel like a date. “Wh-whatever you think is good.”

She ordered, and the waiter left. 

“Thanks,” You said profusely. “You didn’t have to do that.”

”Well, I’m not sure you have any units, and I wouldn’t let you starve.” She shrugged.

It was a kinder version of “you aren’t able to get food so I’ll get you some” but it still made your heart flip.

As you waited for your food, you watched Drax, Rocket, and Peter get increasingly more drunk and even more loud. The three seemed to be trying to out-man one another somehow, yelling inherently about lord knew what.

Gamora shook her head. “I hope you’ll join the team.”

You jumped. Despite yourself, you asked; “why?”

”I’ll finally have another level-headed person on this team.” She took a sip of her water, eyes still locked on the scene in front of her. “Besides,” she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I think you’re a good fit.”

You scratched at the nape of your neck nervously. “You think?”

She looked at you out of the corner of your eye. “Yes.”

Gamora was an oddly formal person, who sometimes had cracks in the hard shell she put up. That’s where the smiles and teasing and laughter came from. And your heart flipped whenever she looked your way. But you knew for a fact she wasn’t interested in you that way. You noticed what you like doing about her mostly came from Peter being around.

You were glad you identified this crush before it got out of control, because now you could shut it down. Even if Gamora wasn’t ready to talk about it, Peter and her had something there. And you didn’t want to be the awkward wedge that got between two people who got along so well because of your big, gay crush; a big gay crush on someone you just met, no less.

It sounded sad to think about— destroying a fantasy before it even really comes into fruition. But in reality, stopping it before it starts is as easy as shrugging your shoulders, or winking. It didn’t really make you feel bad, since you weren’t in the deep end yet. It’s similar to getting out of the pool before you drown.

Nipping it in the bud is the easiest way to prevent multiple parties from getting hurt, or at the very least embarrassed.

And as the waiter came with your plates, you made sure to get your gardening tools and nip that bud.

Snip, snip.

”Well,” you said. “I hope the others feel the same way.”

”I’m sure they will.” She nodded. “Go ahead.” Gamora offered.

You focused on your plate. The food looked delicious. You couldn’t identify what exactly it was— but it was plated beautifully. you took a fork-looking utensil and cut off a bite, putting it in your mouth.

It was good. Unfamiliar, an unidentifiable flavor— like umami? You’ve heard of umami, but you had never tasted it. You looked up at Gamora and didn’t say anything because your mouth was full, but instead gave her a thumbs up.

She gave you one back.

* * *

 Eventually, Drax, Peter, and Rocket became too much for the bar to handle, so they were politely asked to leave. When they refused, they were less politely kicked out, with you and Gamora bringing them back to the ship.

Peter was sober enough to walk on his own, but Drax and Rocket were not. Gamora took over for Drax, able to deal with his sheer weight and mass. You were left with a snarky, drunk raccoon, which might have been worse than a gigantic wasted titan.

Drax himself was singing some sort of drinking song, but in a different language. His voice would dip into very low, mumbling volumes, then careen into shameless screaming. Gamora had the patience of a saint.

”Where’d you put the swords you got, Alex?” Peter asked. 

“I gave them back to Gamora. I can’t carry two swords and a drunk raccoon.”

Rocket began to yell incomprehensibly, but his words slurred so badly that you couldn’t understand what he was saying. Thank goodness.

“So-o, how did the interview go?” Peter continued. “D’you ace it?”

”Yeah, I think so.” Rocket began to scrabble around in your arms, and you had to restrain his little hands. “Augh, geez—“

“Great, Great.” He grinned drunkenly. “Great to have you on the team. Now.”

”I feel the same way, Pete.” You humored him as Rocket calmed down a bit.

”Y’know...” he muttered. “Those suits... you have five.”

”Yeah?”

”Can I have just one? Please?”

”No, Peter. I’m sorry.”

”But you have five!”

Trying to stop Peter from asking even more, you looked over to Drax. He was passed out cold. You couldn’t help but giggle. It was odd to think about some who was so set on a hearty feast, but then got absolutely smashed without eating a single thing.

Finally, you reached the port. Your arms were covered in scratches from Rocket’s little claws, and your clothes were ruffled and mussed up. You sighed. First day out in space and you had to carry a wasted garbage animal to your spaceship. It certainly was a new situation.

Gamora opened the hatch to let everyone in, and Peter gradually made his way up the stairs. It was a miracle he didn’t fall over or miss a step. Gamora carried Drax on her back, clearly irritated, but absolutely a machine of effienecy. You followed suit, just in time to catch Gamora throwing Drax on the floor. He didn’t stir. She sighed.

”Finally.” She grumbled, starting to unlace her boots.

”Hey...” you piped up. She looked up at you. 

“This was a lot of fun.” You said. “I’m glad I got to know you a bit better.”

Gamora hesitated, then smiled. “I’m glad I got to know you too.” She set her shoes down, then stood up straight. “Well, Peter’s probably passed out, Drax won’t wake up until tomorrow... I think Mantis and Groot are already asleep, and—“

She was interrupted by the sound of a raccoon retching. It was the kind of sound you would only ever hear a few minutes after you tip over a trash can full of rotten eggs and sewage water, or if it’s happy hour at a space bar somewhere. It’s a sound you don’t want to hear, and when you do, you regret everything that has lead you to that moment. 

You regret it about ten thousand times more if it’s coming from your arms.

Mid-vomit, you tried not to drop Rocket, but instead put him on the table. He threw up only on your shirt, and stopped as soon as you moved him.

You sighed the deepest sigh you could muster.

Gamora put a palm to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Bathroom is the second door down that hallway. Just leave your clothes on the floor, and leave Rocket on the table. He’s sleeping there tonight.”

You thanked her, said goodnight, and made a swift exit to the bathroom.

* * *

 After a very hot shower in which you used a lot of your soap, you began to dry off. The smell of bile and garbage was finally fading, thank god, but the disgust was there. At least, in a way, you had something to hold against Rocket so he would feel at least a little bad. Or would he be proud of puking on you?

Either way, it was still nasty.

You cleaned out the cuts and scratches from where Rocket clawed you up as well. They stung, and some were even bleeding. Yeesh. He needed to get declawed. Those were deep enough so that they would scab.

After cleaning up, you instinctively reaced for some new clothes, but came empty handed. You put a hand to your temples.

You forgot to bring in some clean clothes with you, and your room was on the other side of the ship. Crap. You’d have to wrap a towel around you and make a mad dash if you wanted to get out of here.

You peeked your head out the door to find the most efficient route— just a straight diagonal line from one hallway to the other. You had wrapped the towel around you when you heard footsteps.

Whoever it was, hopefully you could ask them to get you some of your clothes. You crossed your fingers, hoping it was Gamora, or even Mantis. You opened the door a little more, and said “Hey, I—“

Nebula’s dark eyes greeted you, glinting in the light coming from the bathroom.

Your breath caught in your throat. You choked on whatever words you had prepared.

This wasn’t really conversation you could gracefully bow out of. You were trapped, and in a very precarious situation at that. Though you were covered, a towel does very little to help your modesty, and Nebula was the last person you wanted to see in this state. She stood in the doorway in such a way that you couldn’t just push past, especially since you have started this disaster of a conversation with “Hey”.

You were trapped.

”I—“ You choked again. You just wanted to go to your pocket dimension and stay there forever, but that wouldn’t be graceful either. There was only one option left, your fail safe: profusely apologizing. “Sorry, I— I was just going to go.”

”Then go.”

Her voice was low, smooth and even. Calculated. This was the first time you had heard it, and you were immediately hooked. God, she could read the dictionary and make it sound delightfully, wickedly tempting. Tantalizing. It was the kind of voice that would make your eyes roll back in your head, or make you shudder. You shuddered, glad that was the option you took.

”Yeah, I’m sorry.” She moved just enough to the left for you to brush by her. You could feel the cold of her mechanical arm on your bare shoulder, and you shuddered once more.

As you got out, Nebula walked in. Before she closed the door you said “Wait!” 

She stopped, and if looks could kill, you would have knives embedded in every inch of your body.

”I— I’m really sorry, but... the clothes on the floor— I should get those. Rocket threw up on them.” You forced a chuckle, hoping humor would break the tension.

It did not.

Nebula picked up your clothes as if she were handling a dead animal carcass, or a used bandage. She tossed them at you and didn’t even wait until you were looking away when she wiped her hand on her top.

”There.” She said, as if you were a pathetic dog. She almost growled. “Now leave.”

”Thank you. I’m sorry.” You said one last time before making a beeline to your room and slamming the door behind you in embarrassment.

You put the vomit-clothes in a plastic bag you had packed, and changed in your pajamas. You did not sleep soundly.

* * *

 You woke up the next morning exhausted, either from the carrying of Rocket, the stress of Nebula, or the rancid smell of vomit coming from the bag in your room. You squeezed your eyes shut and sighed deeply, pressing your face into your pillow.

You threw away the bag and the clothes inside,went to wash your hands afterwards, and also to bring back your towel. Part of you was afraid Nebula would be there. Thankfully, she was not.

Walking into the bay was a treat, as Rocket was nursing a hangover headache and was visibly in pain. For just a second, you felt vindicated— then you immediately felt bad for Rocket, and decided to pour him a glass of water.

You sat down beside him and slid the water in his direction. The scraping of the sound made his ears prick, and he looked over to you. You smiled.

”How’s it hanging?”

”Hungover, Five Suits.” He took the water and sipped it, apparently not as eager as getting hydrated as he was getting wasted. “Hung. Over.”

”I can tell. Make sure you brush your teeth, too. You threw up.”

Rocket groaned. “That’s why Gamora was cleaning up and givin’ me the stink eye. I’m surprised she hasn’t sliced me up by now.”

”You threw up on me.”

Rocket paused, then snickered. “Did I?”

”It was horrible.”

He laughed a little harder, then winced and put a hand to his head. “Bummer for you, Five Suits.”

You bit back a scowl. Scowling wasn’t your thing. It never came naturally for you. The same went for sneers. You couldn’t really make rude faces— you just ended up looking silly. So you just kept a blank face, and looked at the table. 

The first morning of being a Guardian was, so far, awkward. 

Peter came in next, also nursing a hangover. It didn’t seem as severe. “Morning, Alex.”

You greeted him back. He sat down and stole Rocket’s water glass, taking a chug. Rocket was in too much pain to offer much resistance, so he just whined “Hey!” Before snatching the cup back. You hoped there wasn’t too much backwash in that cup.

”I don’t remember a lot from last night.” Peter rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “Do you, Alex?”

Sadly, yes. You had an uncomfortable exchange with Nebula in the bathroom and Rocket threw up on you. You knew that wasn’t what he was asking, so you gave him the answer he wanted to hear. “Gamora gave me two swords, and I think I’m a Guardian now.”

Peter perked up at that. “Great work there. You’ll be kicking ass in no time.”

You couldn’t help but smile.

”Good for you, Five Suits.” Rocket said. “You’re an official a-hole now.”

After giving Quill a quizzical look, he waved his hand and responded “long story.”

”No it’s not, we got arrested and the Nova Corps called us a bunch of a-holes.”

You weren’t sure where to start with that statement, but there wasn’t any time to unpack any of it. Mantis walked in looking like she hadn’t even closed her eyes yesterday. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, with a tired “Good morning.”

”Mantis, you look like you didn’t sleep at all.” Peter said. “Were you  at the bar too, and I was just too drunk to notice?”

”No, Peter.” She had a deep look in her eyes. “I was woken in the middle of the night... by a horrible emotional tension.”

You sat up, listening closer now.

”It was late, and I was asleep... but I was woken by such a horrible, horrible feeling from close by! It was... shameful, and angry.”

There was no doubt in your mind that the tension was so thick between you and Nebula that Mantis could pick it up in the other room.

”I could not fall asleep, for fear it would strike again.” She scrunched up her shoulders, and held her arms. “It was awful.”

You sucked in air through your teeth. “Yikes. I’m sorry about that, Mantis.”

”It’s okay.” She yawned once more, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. “It’s morning now, and I must wake up. Do we have any panned cakes?”

 You smiled at that, and felt yourself get a little craving for “panned cakes”.

Morning one of your time as a Guardian was a little bumpy, but you felt like you could do it.


	3. Five Suits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been one day since you boarded ship with the Guardians, and one day since you received those five suits. Everyone is itching to find out what you can do with them.
> 
> Let’s just hope one of them doesn’t break, and a sullen Nebula has to fix you up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never felt more motivated in my life to write fan fiction, I wrote 13000 words in the span of five hours, what is going on here

You never didn’t get that “panned cake” Mantis had mentioned, but that was fine by you. The alien meal you had last night was filling enough, and the memory of Rocket retching on you didn’t really help your appetite.

More of the Guardians began to wake up. Drax seemingly had no hangover whatsoever, which astounded you. He was a big man who drank enough to get passed out— not even a headache? Gamora followed soon after, glaring at Rocket. Rocket just rolled his eyes and finished his water.

Groot stumbles his way out of his room, still attached to his video game. You said hello to him anyway, prompting an “I am Groot” grunt. If he liked that old game so much, you made a mental note to show him your 3DS.

Nebula did not come out to join you for breakfast, and you thanked your lucky stars for that.

Once everyone got situated, they began to eat more alien food. You weren’t sure if it was just random food items they had on hand, or if it was actual breakfast food. You politely turned down their offers of these alien meals.

Rocket turned to you, stabbing at what looked to be some kind of fruit with his fork.“I hear you had a little interview while the rest of us were having fun, Five Suits.”

”Yeah.” You said, looking up from your lap. You were quiet while everyone else talked to one another, and someone saying your new nickname surprised you from your little isolation zone.

”Well, how’d you do?” He said through a mouthful of space fruit.

”I think I did well.” You looked over to Gamora and gave her a little smile. “Gamora said I was a good fit for the team.”

Mantis clapped happily. “Yay!”

”I’ll be the judge of that.” Rocket said before you could catch Gamora’s reaction.

“She’ll be good on the team, Rocket.” Gamora said. 

“Yeah? Well, I kinda forgot this was a team, since we just kinda let her on without any discussion.”

”We did have a discussion!” Peter said, setting down his spoon. “You were off dismantling my headphones!”

”I was doing more important things. Point is,” he turned back to you. His eyes were full of anger. “You’ve barely even done a single thing other than flaunt your suits.”

Alright, was Rocket doing this? Rocket was doing this. You couldn’t just sit there and take this. You sat up a little straighter. “I haven’t seen you do a single thing other than be possessive of your pilots seat and throw up on me.”

Drax bellowed a loud “HA-HA!” He then pointed at Rocket and said “She just took what you told her, and changed it so it looks like you are the useless one!”

Rocket simmered in anger, you could see it in his aura. He really wanted to be right, and he really didn’t like being made fun of. You could see something formulating in his mind. “Alright, then.” She stood on his seat, now a little taller than you. “If you’re so great, how about you go get your suits and show us if you’re any good with ‘em.”

You werent one to take taunts, or fall in the way of childish teasing. But Rocket was persuasive. He practically dared you to prove him wrong. You didn’t want to start a fight— you hated confrontation. And you certainly didn’t want to make any bad blood between your new crew mates.

Peter looked at you with a reassuring face. “You don’t have to do anything this trash panda says, Alex.”

Shaking your head, you put your hands up in an “I surrender” position and said “no, no. It’s fine. I want to. I’ll go get them.”

As you turned and walked off, Rocket made sure to yell “Make sure you get all five of your suits, Five Suits!”

You rounded the corner into your room, and dug through your backpack. There they were— looking at them now, you saw that not all of them were visor-like in portable mode. Two were visors, two were visor-masks, and one was more of a helmet. You picked them all up in your arms, and you had to admit— it looked pretty excessive.

Walking back out to the table, you tried your best to maintain eye contact with Rocket, to show him you weren’t backing down on this. You neatly set down the suits and crossed your arms. “So,” You said. “What do you want to see first?”

Rocket tapped a claw to his chin, laughing. “Wow, ol’ Tones really went above and beyond with these things.”

“Yes, he did a good job.” 

Rocket groaned. “Suck-up.” He picked up your favorite visor in two closed fists, and sneered at it. He picked at his teeth, looking into his reflection. Okay, that was just rude.

When he was done checking his maw for gunk, He picked up the helmet one, observing it from all sides. “How about this one, then? Show us what you can do.”

Uh-oh. That was the one you wanted to try on the least. You remember drawing up that one— you had too many ideas, and it came out more complicated than you wanted it to. You didn’t get a good look at it when they were all first shown to you, so it was your best guess what it actually looked like.

You thankfully got the helmet on without it getting stuck somewhere. It had no visor— just two slim holes for the eyes, giving the impression of slits. Taking hold of the three-pronged antennae on the sides of the head, you clicked it front to back, and the suit began to form.

It was different from your favorite. Instead of unfurling like a metal fern, it jutted and scraped. As it formed jerkily, it made the kind of sounds you would expect when you pull a sword from its sheath. It was cool as hell.

The neck formed quickly and efiiecntly, and it was layered, flexible metal. It looked like a lotus sprouting upside down.A V shot out right above your chest, made to look like your neck ended in the angle of the V.

Dark blue shoulder pads shot out from the V— shaped like diamonds on either shoulder. And from the shoulder came two long, hard pieces of armor covering only your upper arm, segmented at the elbow so it could bend. A breastplate formed over your own chest, fitting and flexing over your curves. The stomach had more of those V shapes, going down until they reached your hips.

Then the legs started to take shape— once again, from the V shot out the armor. It was made to fit them, but there were two wing-looking things just above the heels.

You grinned and turned to Rocket. “S—“

You thought it was done— but before you could open your mouth, a tail shot out behind you. It was long, and flat, a little like a platypus tail and shaped like a rounded diamond.

You paused, embarrassed. Making sure it was finished, you then spoke. “See?”

”That is magnificent!” Drax said. “You could slice your enemies cleanly open in moments with those points.”

You looked down at your arms, and saw the the arm guards kept going forward, off your hand, and ended in a pike. Yikes. That was Tony’s addition; not yours.

“Well, I’m not sure if I would want too.” You wiggled your fingers, getting used to the feeling of them being completely gloved.

”But... why would you not want to slice open your greatest enemies at a moment’s notice?”

”I mean, I’m a pacifist.”

”You’re a what?” Rocket cried, then looked over the team. “You think a pacifist is gonna be at all helpful to this team?”

”I am Groot.” Groot chimed in.

”Well, obviously! That’s what I’m saying!”

”Just because I’m a pacifist doesn’t mean I’m not useful,” You offered, trying not to let any hurt show through your voice. 

Petee nodded. “Yeah, Rocket. Nova Corps will probably be happy with her just being here. That’s one less problem for us.”

Rocket rolled his eyes. “At least tell me you know how to work the damn suits.”

You drew in a breath. “Well...”

Rocket flopped back down in his chair. “A useless nicey-nice who doesn’t even know how to work with the stuff she’s got. Real great addition to the team, guys.” He stabbed at his last piece of space fruit.

You crossed your arms, but not in a defiant “I-don’t-care” kind of way. It was more like you were holding yourself. Attempting to console yourself from what he said, and what he said was true. You didn’t know how to work the suits. You were on day one of being a Guardian of the Galaxy, and you were incompetent. 

You looked down at your boots.

Your silence seemed to be alarming to the group, because they didn’t say anything. Not even Drax. That is, until Rocket decided to pipe up again.

”What, what’s wrong? You got hurt feelings, Five Suits?” He took his plate and walked off. “Sucks to be you.”

You didn’t really know how to respond.

Thankfully, Peter said something. “I’m sorry.” He tried to sound sincere, but it was hard for him to not put up a joking front. “Rocket’s... well, the worst. He’s the worst.”

You laughed, bitterly. You looked back down at the pikes on your arms.

”Yeah. Kind of.” You cleared your throat. ”Well,” You said, gathering up your other masks and visors. “He isn’t entirely wrong. I got these yesterday, and... I don’t know how to use them.”

”Well hey, learning is what these first few days are all about.” Peter smiled. “If you want, we could do some training and help show you the ropes.”

Drax’s face lit up. “Ha Ha! Yes! Let’s see you prove your worth as a warrior, puny one!”

You set down the masks, clicked the suit off, and pulled off the mask. Your hair came down over your face, and you brushed it away sheepishly. “...thanks.”

* * *

 You had all landed on some random planet (or maybe a moon? You couldn’t tell) and gotten off the ship. Thankfully, the atmosphere was oxygen-rich, so you could breathe without the suits. Rocket and Groot were still onboard, and Mantis wasn’t much of a fighter, so she stayed back too. Nebula was nowhere to be found.

Embarking on the rocky terrain was easy enough, and you had all your masks, visors, and your helmet in your otherwise empty backpack. You were very nervous— your first official battle was one you had thought of for awhile. It was, technically, a sparring session, but you were excited nonetheless.

“Promise me you guys won’t go easy on me.” You said to Peter and Gamora as you walked further out into the rocky field.

”I may have a little trouble trying to shoot at a kid, but yeah. I’ll do my best.” Peter smiled.

”I’ll pick up for his slack.” Gamora said.

”Well, if I do a bad job, you can expect Drax to have no mercy.” Peter looked over to where he was— already far out in the field, and he seemed to be stabbing at an invisible enemy with two knives. “He hasn’t fought in awhile, and he’s been getting... punchy.”

”More like stabby.” You said, just watching him absolutely wail on some imaginary opponent. “I hope Tony had enough sense to make these knife-proof.”

Gamora chuckled. 

You finally reached a large enough flat expanse where it would be easy to stage a fight. Digging through your bag, you wondered what suit would be right for the situation. The way you drew them up, they were all essentially the same, but had different specialties. You looked over to Drax and said “Hey, Drax?”

He stopped stabbing for a moment. “Yes?”

”What’s the scenario for this?”

”The scenario is that we are on a big, flat, rocky planet, and your teammates are trying to kill you with extreme disregard for your physical state.” He returned to stabbing.

”Okay, good to know.” You said, under your breath. You pulled out your favorite, the suit that was really Pacify to you. The one that flew you to Stark Tower, and the one Rocket had checked his teeth in.

This’ll show him. That you could be a useful, capable hero in something he used as a flossing mirror. With great determination, You clicked it on and were ready to fight.

You flipped up your visor and walked over to the three. “Okay,” You said. “I think what’s gonna happen here is that I’m just going to restrain you guys. Like, this isn’t a mock ‘fight to the death’ thing. For me at least. You guys go ahead and try to kill me.”

Peter clicked on his mask and said “Great”, Gamora just nodded, and Drax let out a bloodcurdling battle cry and charged up to you, knives in hand.

”Wait, NO I DIDN’T MEAN RIGHT NOW—“ your rocket boots activated and sent you flying upwards. About a good 40 feet in the air, you looked down. It wasn’t exactly like how you felt when you flew to Stark Tower— back then, you felt weightless. Powerful.

Now you felt like you were hiding from a horrifying gray man that wanted to murder you in cold blood.

”Graaaaaah!” Drax screamed. “Get down and fight me, you coward!”

You took some deep breaths, trying to pump yourself up. But before you could get moving, you got hit by a blast of energy that sent you reeling. Quill had shot at you.

It didn’t hurt— the suit offered fantastic protection, and it just took you by surprise.

”Sorry!” Peter said, his voice distant.

”It’s cool!” You yelled back, rolling up your visor so he could hear you.

As soon as you did, a sword came flying towards you from Gamora. You yelped, clicked your visor back on, and dove out of the way.

You had to go down there and actually retaliate, and not just float up here. After another deep breath, you flew down once more.

”Okay, Okay, Okay.” You chanted quietly as you went down like a shot. You checked the rolledex of powers that were at your disposal— amplified emotional influence was one, so it was more likely you could bring them down to a less vengeful state. You decided that was your best bet, and swooped overhead the others.

As you went, you had a mental connection with Peter. You couldn’t really influence other’s emotions with multiple people at once, so you chose just Peter. Focusing as hard as you could on him, you tried to send an aura of peace. 

It affected him— for just a moment. You could have almost lulled him to sleep if Drax hadn’t run up and tackled you to the ground.

Your jet boots deactivated, and you crashed on the ground with Drax in top of you, still screaming, and immediately went to stab you once the stomach. Thankfully, Tony did indeed make the suit knife-proof, and the knives just clanged loudly. But that didn’t stop Drax. He continued to scream and stab as you flailed helplessly.

There was no way you could emotionally calm him like this. You panicked, and hurriedly looked through your rolledex as he attempted to slice you open. You found one option— “subduing pearls”? You had no clue what it was, but your jet boots weren’t working, and you were panicked.

You reached up your arm and shot out a small, black gel pearl from your index fingertip. It landed and stuck on Drax’s shoulder. He didn’t even notice it through the cacophonous noise of screaming and metal on metal, but he soon realized that something was happening when the pearl began to swell.

It got larger, until it was a big, sticky ball covering him from shoulder to elbow. He couldn’t move his right arm. He looked at it, and attempted to pull off the pearl, but that’s caused his other hand to get stuck as well. Drax screamed another battle cry as he just got more and more stuck.

You laughed in triumph and were able to squeeze your way out from underneath him, then shot another pearl on both of his legs, just to keep him down. You grinned widely, running towards Peter and Gamora to confront them, Drax’s frustrated screams fading behind you.

Getting up, you thought maybe you should focus more on the suit’s powers rather than influencing other’s emotional states. Trying to do that again might end up with the same situation you escaped from.

As you ran, you saw Gamora rear up another sword to throw at you, and you made a random scroll through your rolledex to find “Sheilds”. 

With a wave of your hand, an invisible force field appeared all around you, and the sword bounced off of it. You smiled, and the sheild disappeared.

Gamora picked up the sword as it fell and grabbed another one from her hip, extending it to its full length. She swung and hit your side— it cut nothing. It just made a clanging noise. You shrugged your shoulders in a “who knew?” motion, then put another sheild between you and her. That would subdue her for now, since it was invisible, and she didn’t realize that it curved all around her, as if she’s were in a bubble.

From behind, you felt something hit your shoulder. Another shot from Peter. You whipped around, and shot another subduing pearl right on his knee. It swelled, taking him down. He fell to the ground with an “oof!”

Making sure to destabilize him from any projectile weapons, you ran over and snatched his guns from him, throwing them out of his reach. You looked down at him and smiled. “I’m doing well, aren’t I.”

”Not well enough.” He said, looking straight forward. You didn’t know what he meant until you followed his gaze, and saw Gamora running at you at full speed. The field must have broke when you were distracted. Before you could move, she have already jumped, and tackled you to the ground.

This time it was different. It was different from when Drax did it. He just kept stabbing and stabbing with no avail, but she was calculated. She knew what she was doing— she really was the galaxy’s most dangerous woman. She had your legs pinned, but your arms were free. She held a knife to your throat, staring at you, unflinching.

You were panicked. You were frozen. You couldn’t do anything.

”Now you’re dead. I just killed you.” Gamora said, standing up. “Never freeze in battle, Alex. It could be the last time you make that mistake.”

You opened your visor and took a deep, deep breath. Nodding at her words, you sat up, rubbing your throat. Gamora held out a hand to you. You took it, and she pulled you up.

”I’ll make sure to remember that.” You said. “Whew.” You bent over, supporting your arms on your knees. You were wiped out— the running and jumping and flying really caught up to you.

Gamora pat you on the back. “You did well, for your first time.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

”Uh, little help?” Peter said from in front of you. He was still on the ground, unable to move his legs because of the pearl. It looked like a bubble made out of oil now. 

You walked over to him. “Sorry,” You said, crouching down to try and figure out how to get it off him.

”Sorry? Why should you be, that was kickass!” He clicked off his mask and grinned widely. “You did so well!”

”I improvised,” You said, finding something in your rolledex. “Okay, I think I’ve got something to help you.”

You selected “subduing pearl release” and from the same finger the pearls shot from, a little knife came out— it was actually a little more like a needle because of how tiny it was. You rolled up your visor and looked at Peter with out any traces of a joke on your face, and put out a bad aura to freak him out. “Peter, I have to cut your legs off.”

”Sorry, what?” Peter asked, genuinely afraid.

Your facade broke almost immediately. ”Kidding. This’ll pop the bubble.” He shook his head at your joke, and you couldn’t help but smile. You stabbed the orb, and it melted away harmlessly.

”Gross.” He stood up, brushing the residue from his pants. “It’s gross, but effective.”

”Hey!” Drax screamed from a few meters away. “Free me from these bonds, you coward! Fight me like an honorable—“

”Drax.” Gamora said, tucking her swords back into their sheaths. “I already killed her. It’s over.”

”She is dead?” Drax said as you walked over. “Yes! The Guardians remain victorious!” You popped the bubbles, and Drax stood. When he saw you, he looked confused.

”Gamora, she is not dead.” Drax said angrily. “You lied to me.”

”No, she’s right.” You said. “I’m totally dead.”

Gamora stifled a laugh. Peter nodded, playing along with the joke.

”Yeah, Drax. See? See how dead she is?”

”It’s amazing how dead I am.” You continued.”

Drax didn’t say anything, he just furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t like this at all.” He said, turning and walking back to the ship.

You and Peter exchanged glances, and started to laugh. 

“Ah, good training session, Pacify.” Peter clapped a hand on your back. 

“Back atcha, Star-Lord.” 

You walked over to your backpack and got on your knees, then went to click it off. Front to back, two clicks, and...

nothing happened.

You waited a moment, confused. It wasn’t back to front, right? You tried that instead. Nothing. The suit stayed the same.

”Uh,” was all you could say. You tried again, a little more panicked this time. Click, click, nothing. The suit wasn’t coming off. “Uh.”

Peter had just picked up his guns from where you threw them, and looked over to you. “Alex, you ready to go?”

”Yeah,” You said, your voice strangled. “Just...” You tried clicking them, back and forth, over and over. Nothing was working.

Damn.

You stood, holding your backpack and walked over to Peter and Gamora, who were waiting for you. “So...” You started. “Just a quick update. The suit won’t come off.”

“It won’t?” Gamora asked.

”Nope.” You demonstrated the malfunctioning clicks.

Here, let me try—“ Peter began, taking hold of the wings himself.

“What difference does it make if you do it?” Gamora said, irritated.

“I have a magic touch with technology.” He clicked them back to front, and sparks popped off of the helmet. You screamed, and he jumped back.

“So much for that magic touch.” Gamora mumbled.

“Okay, well.” You gingerly touched the top of your head— the wings were still cracking and popping with electricity. “I’m trapped in a malfunctioning suit. This is ideal scenario number one.” You snapped.

“Don’t freak out, it’s fine.” Peter lied. “We can... get Rocket to help you out. He’s horrible, but he’s good with machines. Can you walk?”

“Yeah, I can walk fine.” You tried to activate your jet boots, but they just sputtered, and petered out. “...I can’t seem to do anything else.”

“At least you can move. Come on.” Gamora walked back to the ship, and you and Peter followed. It was hard, because the suit seemed to be... off. As in, not fit for movement. The cogs and places where it was supposed to bend squealed and scraped, causing you to grind your teeth. The sound was horrible.

“Hey, remember when I said I could walk fine?” Your foot got locked in position as soon as you planted it on the ground. “That was wrong.”

When you finally got up onto the ship, Peter had to pull you up because your knees couldn’t bend enough. It was embarrassing, in the most conservative terms. When you got inside the actual ship, Gamora came out of a hallway with her arms crossed.

“Rocket won’t get out of his room. He says he’s doing something important.” She looked at Peter. “We have to break down the door.”

“What? No!” He had to place a hand on your back to keep you steady. “That’ll cost an arm and a leg in repairs.”

“You will have to give up your arm and leg to save Alex from that death machine?” Drax said. He was sitting at the table, eating some soup. You weren’t all that surprised that he insinuated you weren’t worth an arm and a leg.

“Please don’t call it a death machine.” You requested.

“No Drax, if I gave up my arm though, I would absolutely get a cool robot arm—“ Peter got cut off.

“Peter,” Gamora said.

“Sorry, tangent, I know, but—“

“Nebula.”

If you could move, you would have jolted. You just kind of... wormed around uncomfortably in your suit. “What?”

“Nebula’s good with mechanics. She can fix you.” Gamora said.

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea.” You couldn’t see his face because you couldn’t really turn your head at this point, but you could tell that Quill wasn’t exactly fond of that plan either.

“I can just do it myself. I’d rather not bother her.” You struggled for another solution, any other solution. “I’ll just live in the suit.”

“I know you’re worried, but it’ll be fine. Nebula’s perfectly capable.” Gamora answered once more.

“I think Alex doesn’t want Nebula to do it because Nebula hates her.” Drax offered, slurping his soup.

“...thanks, Drax.” You said, getting more and more fed up.

“You’re welcome.”

“I know Nebula can be rough around the edges, but it’s either her or getting scooped out of that thing.” Gamora raised her eyebrows as she spoke.

You hesitated. You really didn’t want to be in close quarters with Nebula. You would definitely piss her off in some way or another, and you didn’t want to do that. Though she did seem scary, You wanted to befriend her. Thinking logically, you realized you probably never would approach her yourself. This would be one of a few chances to get closer to her without really having to do anything.

You exhaled. “I would rather not get scooped.”

“Okay, lets go then.”

* * *

Peter and Gamora had to lift you up off the floor because you could no longer move at all. You were frozen in a standing position, with Gamora carrying your feet and Peter supporting your head. It was a little funny, and you would smile up at Peter whenever he looked down. Gamora was fine carrying your weight, but Peter wasn’t the spitting image of fitness, and he was trying to keep it under wraps.

When you reached Nebula’s door, the two set you upright and Gamora rapped on the door. “Nebula?” She said.

From the inside, you could hear the sounds of metal scraping on metal. The sound made you clench your teeth and dart your eyes nervously to Gamora. She didn’t look at you, and just grabbed the handle. “Nebula, it’s Gamora. I’m coming in.”

”If you do, I’ll set fire to the ship.” A muffled voice said from inside. You flinched.

She opened the door and, honestly, you weren’t sure what you were expecting with Nebula’s room. It was empty, and barren, and had no photos or knickknacks or any decorations of any kind. It looked just like your room did before you first decorated it.

Nebula was sitting on a chair, sharpening a knife using another knife. She didn’t move when the door opened, only her eyes looked up at you and her sister.

“I hope you’re not busy.” Gamora crossed her arms.

Nebula stood, slowly, knives in either hand. “Actually, Gamora.” That voice again. Low and dark and absolutely wicked. “I am busy.” She held up a knife to show what she was doing, and it was just a little too close to your face.

“Well, Sorry to interrupt.” Gamora clapped a hand to your shoulder. “Alex’s suit is malfunctioning. We’d like you to take a look at it.”

Nebula turned to face you now, only her head slowly moving. She scanned you up and down, and you didn’t know if she was examining the suit or your body. It was uncomfortable either way. She lowered her knife and slid it into a sheath on her hip. “Why should I?” She seemed to be asking you. You didn’t have a good answer for that.

Thankfully, he sister answered for you. “Because you’re a part of the team, and she’s a part of the team. Now help her inside, she can’t move.”

Nebula glared daggers at Gamora, and Peter sucked in a breath. “Okay, well, good talk, I’m gonna go.” And he swiftly made his departure.

Gamora kept her hand on your shoulder to keep you steady, then gave your face a cursory glance, then followed after Peter. It was just you and Nebula now.

You cleared your throat. “Sorry,” You said, throat dry.

Nebula just huffed and was able to shove you into her room. She shut the door a little harder than needed. After that, she turned, and sauntered up to you. “So what do you want me to do?” It didn’t seem to be a question. It felt more like a “What do you expect from me?” question.

“Well,” your voice was thick. “The others said you were good with technology. So... they just took me to you. M-my suit just stopped working, and it won’t come off, so...”

Nebula didn’t say a word, but lifted a hand and nudged your chest. You teetered, then fell to the ground with a “whoa!” It didn’t hurt, Thanks to the suit, but of course it still freaked you out to be shoved while you were immobile like that.

“Hey—“ You started when Nebula grabbed a bag from under her bed and sat down next to you on her knees. She interrupted you, voice hard.

“I needed you to lie down.”

You were about to fire back, “Well, you could have just asked.” But it occurred to you once more that you couldn’t move. So you closed your mouth.

Nebula pulled out multiple tools and spread them across the floor next to her. She picked up each one, examined it, then put it back down. You watched her do this, and she caught you staring. Nebula stared daggers at you, and you looked away, quite fearful for your life.

She seemed to decide on a screwdriver-like instrument, and said “where’s the power source of your suit?”

You didn’t know. So you guessed. “The... the antennae-things. On the sides of my head.”

Nebula put one end of the tool in between the part where the visor and antennae met, and she poked around inside it.

”So,” You tried to strike up conversation. “How’re you so good with machines?”

”I learned to maintain my robotic body parts.” 

All you could hear was the clanking of the tool against your suit. It was horribly quiet, other than that. It was so quiet, if you listened closely, you could hear the little cogs, gears, and wires in Nebula’s mechanic arm.

“Your arm’s pretty cool.” You said without thinking. 

“It is a symbol of my inferiority.” Nebula responded.

You just complemented a sign that Nebula was inferior. Strike one for you, Alex.

“Sorry... I— Sorry.” Was all you could say.

Nebula didn’t look at you. She just kept working. This capital-S Sucked. And your visor was still up, so you couldn’t hide your facial expressions. This was hell.

As she kept working, Nebula hit something. She hit a little node in the antennae that made a noise, then clicked. You thought the torture was over, that would be released from your perfectly fitted-prison.

And then Queen started to play.

You had written it down as a joke, mostly. On your reference sheets for the suits you wanted, still in the early planning stages, you wrote down that you wanted to have a built-in music player so you could play mood-appropriate music during battle. It was silly, and you thought that Tony would have the good sense not to turn a scribble into a galaxy saving device. 

As Pressure blared from the suit, you guessed not.

At least it wasn’t quiet.

“Heard this one before?” You asked Nebula.

She just had a look of exhausted frustration on her face, and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I already have to deal with Quill’s music...” she muttered, trying to turn it off.

The groovy music was a real-tension cutter— you had always liked this song, but you guessed that Nebula was not a fan of the boppy tune and sliding electric guitar. You wondered what music she did like, then you wondered if she liked anything.

“I really like this song.” You tried your best to stay still as to not disturb Nebula’s work, which was easy because of your restraints.

“It’s almost tolerable.”

You grinned. That comment made it easier to muster a more confident aura. “I think that’s the kindest thing you’ve said to me.”

You did your best to open up Nebula a bit— using your words, not your powers. It felt manipulative to just use it on everyday people, and you would rather earn their trust naturally than using your influential abilities. It felt like cheating.

As much as you wanted to know Nebula, you weren’t quite ready to try to use your powers to coax her into opening up. You could feel from her aura that she was already slowly getting warmer. Slowly. Very slowly. But it was better than not at all.

You were still nervous, of course. How couldn’t you be? Nebula was incredibly intimidating and hard to talk to. However, it didn’t seem like anyone else liked her either.

You didn’t want her to feel alone.

Also, you were going to be living with her on a ship for God knew how long, and you weren’t going you go completely quiet whenever she walked by.

”Do you still want to set fire to the ship?” You asked meekly.

”of course.” She grunted, popping a panel off of your suit. “But maybe this menial task will distract me.”

 _Under pressure_ , went the music. _Pushing down on me, pressing down on you._

It was odd how well this song fit the situation. There was a tension, still, and you could feel the pressure (along with Nebula’s tools) pressing down on you.

_It’s the terror of knowing, what it’s all about. Listening to good friends, screaming;_

“Let me out!” You chorused with the music. You chuckled, looking over to Nebula. She was still focused on the antennae, carefully prodding inside of it.

”I’m trying.” She mumbled.

The music died down a bit once Nebula did something you couldn’t see. The music didn’t stop entirely, but it did lower noticeably, and Nebula looked less irritated with that.

“Where did you get this suit?” Nebula asked. You were shocked that she spoke to you without you saying something to her, first.

“Tony Stark made it for me.” She looked at you blankly. “He’s— he’s a guy from Earth.”

She turned back to her handiwork, still fiddling with the antennae.

 _Under pressure_ , sang the music.

As she worked, you hummed a little. Quietly, softly, as to not disturb or annoy Nebula.

“So,” Nebula started again. “Are you a garden—“ she cleared her throat. “Guardian of the Galaxy, now?” 

Did she almost say... Garden of the Galaxy? That was a little cute. That was actually really cute! Did scary Nebula actually make a slip like that? You did your best not to show your giddiness. “I guess so. I mean... Rocket isn’t happy about it, or Groot, it seems. So not officially.”

“They don’t have to like you for you to be here,” She said, putting down the tool she was using in favor of another one. “Like me.”

“I’m sure they don’t dislike you—“ you began, but Nebula didn’t want to hear it.

“You are either ignorant or a liar,” She said, “and I’d rather you not be a coward if it’s the latter.”

No longer cute. Back to regular Nebula. 

 _Its’s the terror of knowing_ , the music continued. _What it’s all about._

“Sorry.” You offered.

“Stop apologizing.” Nebula said back, not even looking at you. She wedged something in your helmet. “This’ll hurt.”

You couldn’t help yourself. “Is that a threat or a prom— ow!” She shoved something sharp into the slit between your side-visor and facial covering. It poked you in the jaw.

“How’s that for a promise?” Did... did she smile? You caught just a bit of the corner of her mouth going upwards, but nothing else. She turned her dark eyes back down as quick as they came up.

_Pushing down on me, pushing down on you._

“...if I could ask—“

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

Not even half your sentence. Alright.

“...I wanted to ask why you’re here.”

She glared down at you. You sweat nervously, trying to string a coherent sentence together. “Not that— I didn’t mean that you shouldn’t— I was just wondering—“

“Since I’m reclusive and a ‘stone cold biatch’ to everyone on board?” Nebula stated as she picked up a hook-looking instrument.

“...a little, yes.”

“My sister persuaded me to stay here.” She said, digging the hook into the antennae’s slat it protruded from. “I was going to seek vengeance on my father.”

“Thanos.” You said.

Nebula looked down at you, anger beginning to form behind her eyes. “Did she tell you?”

“I picked up bits and pieces,” You said. It wasn’t entirely a lie. You could form a rough timeline in your head if what you knew about Nebula and Gamora’s past— kidnapped by some guy named Thanos, pitted against one another in battle. You made the assumption that Nebula wasn’t often a winner, judging by her anger and hatred towards her sister and robotic enhancements.

Nebula exhaled, then popped the antennae off of the visor, revealing the mainframe inside. “I was going to seek vengeance on my father, Thanos. But my sister convinced me to stay; just barely.”

You listened intently. The music got in the way a little bit, as the chorus was at the point in the song where it swelled and the instruments all mashed together in an oddly symphonic way. The singers and music blended unevenly, but still produced a beautiful sound.

“It was either revenge, or staying here. After weighing my options, I found the less dangerous one was staying here.”

“And now you’re a Guardian.” You said.

Nebula nodded. “In the most liberal sense, yes. Close your right eye.” 

You did as you were told, and a new tool narrowly missed scratching your eyelid. Nebula was poking around in the mainframe, trying to find the source of the malfunction. She seemed to be having no luck, and she was getting more and more irritated by the second.

“I think you made the right choice.” You heard yourself saying from a mile away.

Nebula stopped moving. The clicking in your ear quieted.The music’s swelling quelled. Nebula was wordless.

“Sometimes I wonder if I did.” She continued working.

You bit your lip. “Well,” You began. “I hope you stop wondering one day.”

You could see Nebula this entire time out of the corner of your eye, as she was beside you and you couldn’t turn your neck. You couldn’t make out the intricate details of her face, and it left you guessing how she was truly feeling (since you had held off on aura reading). However, once you said this, she stalled.

_Under pressure._

 You continued to hum quietly as Nebula continued her work. She didn’t seem to acknowledge you said anything.

”Hey,” You said. “As long as I’m here, I wanted to apologize for the bathroom thing. With the clothes. Those were really gross.”

”Disgusting.” Nebula agreed. “The Fox truly is a nightmare.”

You smiled. “The worst.” 

Before you could say anything more, you felt the metal on your feet and legan behin to dispel. The plates began to curl back into themselves, reforming properly into it’s portable mode. Your face lit up. The suit had been fixed.

The music stopped, and you could finally move. You groaned in relief, arching your back as you sat up straight. Removing the visor, you exhaled thankfully. “Nebula, I owe you big time!” You groaned happily. “Thank you so much.”

Nebula offhandedly stood up, collecting up all her tools into the bag they were previously in. “You weren’t as insufferable as I expected.” She said in return.

”Thank you.” You smiled, allowing a kinder and more confident aura to come from you. You stood, stretching out your back.

”Dont thank me yet. The circuitry is fried, so you best leave that suit alone for awhile.” Nebula said, standing as well. “I hear you have four others you could use.”

”I’ll try not to break them.” You replied.

”Don’t.” She said, sitting back down in her chair, and picking up her knives to sharpen. She jerked her head towards the door and turned her eyes down to her hands again. “You can go.”

You nodded, standing in the doorway for just a moment. “Thanks again.” You slid it shut to the sounds of metal scraping metal.

* * *

 Back out in the main part of the ship, Gamora was reading something, and Peter was listening to some music on a Zune. Upon seeing you free, they gave you their attention.

”You’re alive!” Peter exclaimed. “Thank god. If you died on day one, that wouldn’t look good.”

You nodded. “It’s good to be alive. Nebula got me out in one piece.”

Gamora smiled slightly. “Told you she was good with mechanics.”

”But how did you survive her personality, is the question.” Gamora gave Peter a punch in the arm. “Ow!”

You sat down. “Actually,” You shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad.”

”How?!” Peter hissed. Gamora punched him again.

”I think the music helped.”

The two exchanged looks across from you. “Music?”

You nodded, prodding a little bit like how Nebula was on your antennae. Once again, Pressure started to play from the visor, a little tinny now that it was in its portable form. “This kind of got a conversation started.”

”Did she... like it?” Gamora asked in disbelief.

”oh, no. She found it ‘barely tolerable’.”

”God, I thought Nebula got replaced with a Nebula-shaped clone for a second.” He jutted out his thumb to point at Gamora. “It look me, like, a year to get her to like my music, so Nebula would probably take at least twelve.”

Gamora punched him one more time. “Augh, really!” Peter whined. “The same spot!”

You chuckled, and shut off the music.

Peter sighed, getting up. “I’m not taking any more of this abuse. I’m going to bed.” He walked down the hall, pretend-sulking.

Gamora smiled at you before she  got up as well. “Glad it went well.” She followed after Quill, and then you were alone.

You stood as well, suddenly tired. Today was long, and emotional, and just tiring. Your first full day as a Guardian. Entering your room was a blessed feeling, and sitting on your bed was even more fulfilling. You were ready to sleep hard.

But then, you pictured Nebula’s room, and how empty it was. You felt... a little bad. She had no little decorations or anything. Sure, Nebula was the last person who would probably deem decor as a high priority. But still. You wanted her to have something other than a bag of tools and her knives.

You looked on your dresser, which was packed with little knickknacks of various qualities, shapes and sizes. You decided on a medium-sized candle you had. It was in a jar, and the scent was “ocean breeze”. It was also blue, so you thought that could probably go with Nebula’s aesthetic.

You knocked on Nebula’s door with your empty hand, and carefully gripped the candle in the other.

It slammed open, with an irritated Nebula on the other side. “What?” She growled.

”I— I wanted to give this to you.” You held the candle in front of you, out to her.

Nebula just looked at it with wide, dark eyes. “What is this?”

”It’s a candle. Just a little thank you for your work.”

”I don’t need payment.”

”It isn’t payment. It’s a thank-you. And plus, you can set fire to it without destroy in the ship.”

”what’s the point of setting fire if not to destroy something?”

You shrugged. “It smells nice.”

Nebula hesitated, then took the candle.

You smiled. “Sorry to be back so soon. Goodnight.”

You walked back down the hallway, to your room, and tucked yourself into bed.

Nebula read the label, then sniffed the candle.

She didn’t dislike it.


	4. Unrequited, Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With your favorite suit out of comission, it’s time to try and get a feel for the others. 
> 
> Taking a quick stop on a Ravager Ship would be a good opportunity to really take the powers of your suit to the limit! Just kidding, you’re catching rats and thinking about emotions.
> 
> But even something like that can be made better with a good partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh now we’re getting somewhere!!

“Spider-Man?” Drax asked quizzically.

”Yeah, his hero name is Spider-Man.” You nodded.

You, Drax, and Rocket were in the bridge of the ship. It was about noon the day after your suit got busted, and a day after you got to know Nebula a little bit better. She certainly wasn’t warmed up to you quite yet, but she was tolerating you. That was really all you could ask for on day two of being a real Guardian of the Galaxy.

You were talking about Earth superheroes— or as the others called it, “Terra”. You guessed that was their word for Earth.

”Is he part spider, part man?” Drax asked.

”No. He has some powers of a spider.”

”Does he spin webs and eat flies?”

”N... not that I know of.”

”Then he is not a real Spider-Man.”

”Okay, well, forget Spider-Man.” You clapped your hands together. “How about... Iron Man?”

”Forget it.” Rocket said from the pilot’s seat. “Explaining this to Drax’ll take eons.”

”No human could talk for that long.” Drax replied. “It is impossible.”

Rocket sighed, irritated. “Go lift something heavy or something, Drax.”

Drax stood. “I am not doing this because you told me.” He reassured Rocket, then left.

Rocket flexed his fingers on the pilot’s lever. “Sheesh.” He mumbled.

You were about to leave as well— you didn’t really like Rocket all that much. Sure, you felt bad for disliking people; you felt like you didn’t really have the need to judge everyone. You didn’t know enough about them to make a good judgement. But Rocket was one person who you gave yourself a pass for on judging. He was a jerk so far, and while you did want to get along, you wouldn’t put in the effort if he didn’t.

“Hey, Five Suits.” He said as you begun to stand.

”Yeah?”

”How was the sparring yesterday?”

”Oh. Well, it went pretty well.” Truth be told, you were proud of how it went. Except for the suit breaking down, of course.

You thought the suit just broke because you were too rough with it too quick. Not taking enough time to really break it in took its toll on it, and that was your final conclusion. Sounded about right to you.

“Really?” Rocket drew out the word. “You call bustin’ up your little tin can a good job?”

Your stomach flipped. Rocket would never let this one go, would he?

”Hey, should I call you ‘Four Suits’ now? Nah. I’ll stick with Five.”

”I mean other than that,” You managed to say. “I took down Peter and Drax.”

“Ooh, with what?” Rocket pitched his voice higher. “Using your words?”

”Using force fields, expanding gel balls, and jet boots.”

Rocket just scoffed. Nothing snarky to say to that, huh?

You stood and took your leave, happy to be out of his presence. No one else was really up and doing anything yet, so you went to your room and sat on your bed.

You weren’t a very social creature, and being around so many people with so many different personalities all the time drained you, even though you hadn’t been with them that long. You needed some time to yourself. So you plugged your earbuds into your phone, turned on some music, and lay down.

Soft tones from Toto’s “Africa” drifted into your ears, and you felt calmer. Being an inexperienced Guardian was a little stressful, what with the pressure and expectations. Even though they were mostly set by yourself.

The word pressure, though, now made an immediate connection with Nebula, ever since you listened to that song as she repaired your suit. It was a bonding experience for the both of you, it felt like.

Or maybe only you felt that way, and Nebula felt nothing.

Any time you thought about her, the first thing that came to your mind was the attraction. She was gorgeous, and had an air of confidence that would never falter. Second that would kick in was the fear, the fact that she had killed thousands and she was a murder machine. That wasn’t exactly the most desireable trait in a partner.

Your feelings for her were complicated. She had a complicated past. This entire situation you were in was just complicated.

Pressure indeed.

You sighed, rubbing your eyes and squeezing them shut. Chants about blessing the rains down in Africa soothed you.

You wondered if you should cut this one off too. Like you did with Gamora. You were able to stop that from going out of control once you realized her feelings for Peter— you could probably do the same for Nebula.

It didn’t really feel like she was looking for a relationship, anyway.

Before you could think any further, someone knocked on your door. “Come in,” You said, still lying down.

Peter opened the door, and you pulled out an earbud. The faint sounds of Africa could be heard. “Hey, Peter.” You sat up. “What’s up?”

”We’re gonna make another stop soon. Link up with some old buddies; we’ll introduce you.”

”Good to know.” You gave him a thumbs up. 

Before Peter left, he focused for a second. “Is that... Africa?”

”You know it.”

He returned the thumbs up. “Nice.”

* * *

 You stood back at the bridge of the ship, looking out into the vastness of space. It was still gorgeous, and if you squinted, you could see planets in the distance. Everyone was gathered in the room, except for Nebula.

Shocker.

You turned to the person closest to you, Mantis. “Hey,” you said. “Do you know the people we’re meeting?”

She looked at you and shook her head. “No. These people are also strangers to me.”

You nodded. “Alright... well, do you know where we’re going to meet them? I don’t know if we’re landing on a planet, or...”

Mantis shook her head once more. “They will be flying their ship nearby. We will be boarding it.”

”We’re boarding another ship?” You raised your eyebrows. 

“That’s what she said, Five Suits!” Rocket called over his shoulder. 

“How?”

”Well, we’ll use the teleportation device we have onboard, and— what are you, dumb? We’re flyin’. So call dibs on a spacesuit. Or use one of your own suits, if the spirit moves ya.”

”I am Groot.” Groot snarked from the seat in front of you. You didn’t really need a translator to know what he said.

You grimaced. “Great. Thanks.”

 “Alright, Ravager ship incoming.” Peter said, tapping at a screen in front of him.

You cocked your head in confusion. “Ravager?”

”Space pirates. That’s who we’re gonna meet.”

”You guys are friends with space pirates?”

Peter turned in his seat, grinning. “I was practically raised by ‘em.”

“Huh.” You say in disbelief.

”So, Pete, what’s with the pit stop anyway?” Rocket looked over to Quill. “Kraglin need to borrow some money or somethin’?”

”Nope.”

”...Do you need to borrow some money?”

”Rocket, people don’t visit each other just to borrow money.” Gamora said from behind you. You were sitting in her seat, and even though you offered to get up, she didn’t really care.

“Then why bother visiting people?” Rocket asked. “Do you own him money?”

”We’re going to the Ravagers because they need a little help with their ship.” Peter looked back out the windshield.

“Then they should call a mechanic,” Drax said. “Not the saviors of the galaxy.”

”Well, we are doing it out of the kindness of our hearts. And maybe Kraglin will give me some of the old tapes I left on the ship.”

”Kindness of our hearts, my foot.” Rocket mumbled.

“They should be here any second now.”

Any second now was right. Moments later, the ship appeared— not in the sense of it slowly moving its way into view, but it just... came into vision. It almost jumped, warping into the empty space in front of you. You couldn’t help but let out a “whoa!”

“Alright,” Peter stood. “Let’s go.” He clicked on his mask and made his was to the back of the ship, Rocket following suit.

You stood, nervous. “I’ll be there— lemme grab a suit real quick.”

You rushed to your room, picking up the four working ones, still just masks and visors. Well, one visor. You looked over to the broken one on your nightstand and sighed. So much for your favorite.

You picked up one that was a full mask— it was like the visor, but covering your whole face. It had rounded little wings on the sides of the head, and it was rather cute.

You hummed, putting on your face, and clicking the wings.

It was reminiscent of your favorite, as the metal unfurled onto your body. Plate armor covered your chest, sort of like a knight’s armor. The arms were bulky, and looked like you had more muscle than you actually did. 

The stomach wasn’t covered with armor, rather, it was more of a bodysuit that left it exposed. The legs were just as bulky as the arms, and the suit was pretty heavy.

You looked at your arms and couldn’t help but go “Ooh!” You liked this look. Very action-hero.

Curious, You poked a wing the same way Nebula did to turn on the music.

It worked, and “Cherry Bomb” began to blare. You grinned.

You walked out to see everyone (save for Groot, Mantis, and Nebula.) with a translucent film over their bodies— you guessed those were the spacesuits.

Peter turned to you as soon as he heard the music, impressed. “Okay, That one is cool as hell. Also— great song.”

”Right?” You said, excited.

Drax looked at you. “Is it playing music?”

”Yeah.” You said. “Apparently all my suits can do that now.”

Drax looked at Peter, then back at you and shook his head. “Humans are astoundingly similar.”

Rocket tossed something at you— something small, that could easily fit in the palm of your hand. “Here.” He said. “For communication. If you start dying in the void of space, then you can tell us.”

It looked like hearing aid, but apparently it was like a Walkie-talkie. You put it in your ear, then put two fingers to it, like you saw in movies. “Testing, testing? One two three. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb.” You monotoned to the tune of your music.

”We can already hear you and your music, flarknard.” Rocket said, mimicking your pose.

”Testing, testing. Rocket is a douche, I repeat, Rocket is a douche.”

Peter and Drax laughed. Gamora shook her head, a little amused.

“Ha ha, hilarious.” Rocket snarled. “Ship’s stable, hatch is locked, Ravager ship nearby. Let’s go.”

He punched a button, and the door opened. Peter activated his jet boots and was able to fly effortlessly, and as were the others. However, you did not activate your boots in time, and got sucked out into the void of space.

Instinctively, you yelped, trying to calm yourself down. But how could you chill out when you just got launched into an interstellar riptide? You fell, (more like got sucked out) head over heels, and attempted to right yourself.

You got panicked for a moment. Did this suit supply oxygen like the other one? If it didn’t, you were screwed. Totally screwed. Why didn’t you look at the rolledex before you hopped out into the eternal void of space? You took in a breath, and were beyond relieved to get oxygen in your lungs, rather than nothing at all.

”Graceful takeoff, Five Suits.” You could hear Rocket’s voice nagging in your ear. You grumbled, now both horrified for you life and irritated, firing off your rocket boots and got up straight. You didn’t engage with him, and just listened to the hard rock of Cherry Bomb.

_Hello, daddy. Hello, mom. I’m a ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry Bomb._

Flying in space was easy, save for the vast existential horror of being almost completely alone in a airless void. There was no gravity, so you didn’t have to thrust as hard. It was a breeze, once you finally calmed your nerves down.

You reached the Ravager ship in no time, thankfully. You exhaled, hard, as you landed on the docking bay. The room sealed, so it was now safe to take off the suit. You rolled up the mask, taking deep, grateful breaths.

Gamora landed behind you, and, unclipped the little circle on her back that spawned the suit. She pat your shoulder. “You did fine.” She assured you, noticing your worry. “It’s fine.”

”I’m glad I met my top priority,” You stood up straight. “Not suffocating.”

”Great job. Want a medal?” Rocket asked, coming out of his spacesuit as well.

”I actually would, yes.” You forced back. You shut off your music, not wanting you be blaring tunes right as you were meeting someone (no matter how rad they were.)

 To your surprise, the first person to come and greet you was a human man. You were expecting some kind of alien, but no— just a regular looking human dude. A little seedy, but overall normal.  Peter smiled when he saw him.

”Hey, Kraglin.” Peter said, greeting him with two thumps to his chest. Kraglin responded accordingly.

”Hey, Pete.” His voice was a little crackly, as if he were still going through puberty. “Glad to see you. How you been holdin’ up?”

”Doing well. The Zune’s great, we’re all just unwinding after the whole...” He waved his hand around a bit. “Ego. Thing.”

You had no clue what he was talking about, but you could tell even talking about the incident wore himself out. You decided not you ask him about it until later.

”I hear ya.” Kraglin nodded, then waved his hand meekly to the others. “Hey Drax. Gamora. Rocket.”

Drax responded with a “hello”, Gamora just kind of nodded, and Rocket crossed his arms.

Then Kraglin turned to you and smiled. “And you’re Pacify.”

”Uh, Yeah.” You held out a hand. “You can call me Alex, though.”

”’Right, Alex. Peter told me about you. Glad y’all’re here, ‘cause this damn ship is a real clunker, and we knew we could count on y’all.”

”Also you knew we’d do it for free.” Peter said.

”We’re doing this for free?” Rocket asked.

”Yes, Rocket, we are doing this for free and out of the goodness of our heart because these guys saved our asses.” Peter responded. “But I wouldn’t object to you lending me my tapes back,” he said to Kraglin.

”Got ‘em up in the hull. Play ‘em all the time.”

Peter did a little fist pump.

”Well, Why don’t we call THEM the Guardians of the Galaxy then?” Rocket whined.

Gamora looked over to Kraglin. “What’s the problem that you needed all of us here for?”

Kraglin scratched the nape of his neck. “Whoof, there are lots of problems... engine’s slow ‘n not too responsive, controls ‘r a little rusty, and we suspect we may have a rat problem.”

”That sounds more like a problem for Rocket to solve.” Gamora looked down at the raccoon.

Peter looked over his shoulder at her. “Hey, this isn’t about if you need to be here. This is quality bonding time.”

”I think if we don’t need to be here, we shouldn’t be.” Drax said.

”That’s how all the best family bonding time is.” Peter said. “No one wants to participate and everyone is tired.”

”Then why did Groot stay back?”

”Because he’s a moody teenager that hates everything and can’t be reasoned with.”

”And you want us to deal with this because...?” Rocket prompted Kraglin.

”We ain’t really in the market to get ‘er formally fixed up, ‘n lookin for cheap parts hasn’t given us any luck...” Kraglin looked down to Rocket. “An’ we know you’re the most capable in the business.”

You couldn’t help but scoff under your breath. Rocket was off taking apart the second pair of headphones Peter owned while you were trapped in a malfunctioning machine. It should have been Nebula who was getting the recognition.

”Yeah, well,” Rocket couldn’t help but grin. “I’ll fix her up. Only if I get some compensation.”

”We can provide you with a coupla’ old guns we got.”

”That’ll do it.” Rocket grinned. “Alright! Let’s go fix up a trash bag.”

Rocket walked off, and the others followed suit. you looked over to Kraglin. “I— I’m not really good with technology. What should I do?”

Kraglin thought for a second. “Peter told me yer good at trappin’ stuff. You don’t hurt things, do ya?”

”No, I don’t.” You said.

”Then do you mind trappin’ up those rats we got ‘round here?”

Catching rats. Not exactly your ideal situation as a hero, but hey, you had to start somewhere. “Sure.”

Your disappointment must have showed, because Kraglin kept talking. “I feel kind bad, what with puttin’ you on rat duty, ‘cause that suit’s a real looker.”

You smiled. “Thanks.”

Kraglin returned the smile. “Jus’ hang out on the ship a bit, keep an eye out. Thanks.” He then walked off, and into the main hub of the ship.

You sighed, and crossed your arms. Rats, huh? Well, you did have to move up the ladder somehow. And if catching rats wasn’t the first rung on that ladder, you were ready to climb.

Walking through the ship, it seemed practically empty. Everyone must have been in the pilot’s deck, looking at the controls. You wondered if Drax Or Gamora was really needed here, because technology didn’t seem to be their thing. But you remembered what Peter said about bonding time, and realized he was right.

The Guardians were a team. But you didn’t quite feel like you were fully assimilated into that team quite yet. You were still new, and everyone was still getting used to you being here. You hadn’t reached that level of comfort everyone else felt with each other quite yet, the comfort you could feel whenever you felt their auras.

The best word for it was... jovial? Joking around, comfortable enough to be themselves. Though they definitely had arguments in the past (you hadn’t witnessed any, but you knew they existed) they seemed to get along incredibly well. You only knew pieces of their history, you didn’t get inside jokes or past experiences you had.

Even though you had the title of Guardian, you weren’t one quite yet.

As you scanned the ship for rodents, you thought more about the others and their connections. You could so clearly feel the love between Peter and Gamora. You suspected they had only recently opened themselves up to one another, and while not in a relationship, the love they felt was mutual. You wished you could see them get past their pride and embarrassment and just... talk to each other.

That was the problem with being an empath. Learning so much about people’s feelings— people whom you had just met. That was why you often tried to keep it natural; like with Nebula as she tried to repair your suit. You didn’t try to influence her to like you more, you didn’t use your telepathy, you only used your words. Once you knew others, only then could you really use your powers.

Your thought process was broken my the sound of scampering little feet. You turned, and saw— Wait, was that even a rat? It was hairless, and had a big, gross mouth.

”Ew.” You scrunched up your nose. “Alright, stay there, nasty thing...”

You scrolled through your rolledex tho find the force field— yup, this suit had one too. You put your hand out, and—

When you looked back at the rat, it was impaled on a long sword; it looked more like an elongated knife. You looked up, and there was Nebula. 

“Holy— geez!” You jumped. “Nebula! I got scared.”

“Smart.” She said, pulling the sword out of the creature. Yup, it was super dead. You shuddered.

”I— I didn’t see you come up here.”

”Took a spacesuit, came up here on my own. Mantis and the tree were getting irritating.”

You nodded. This was the friendliest she had been to you so far. 

“Well... welcome to the Ravager’s ship.”

”I’ve been on a different Ravager ship before. Not exactly... the most savory place.”

“Fair enough...”

She hummed, and flicked the sword so the blood on it flew off. You recoiled as a little bit landed on the arm of your armor, and you wiped it off.

”Afraid of a little blood?” Nebula asked.

”Ah—“ You stumbled over your words. “Not afraid. Just... not a fan.”

She began to walk towards you, and you were expecting her to just close the gap so you could have a normal conversation— she just kept walking instead, back arched, head held high. Right by you.

“Well, while you’re here,” you said to her back. “ do you mind helping me?”

She stopped. She turned her head slightly. ”Depends.”

”...again, fair. I was put on rat duty. I’ve got to catch them, uh...” You looked down at the dead rat behind you. “But you already got one. So thats one less I have to take care of.” You chuckled.

”You want me to help you... kill rats?” She drew out the sentence, her voice positively dripping with disgust.

”Well, I mean, I was going to just capture them—“

”I am a former assassin and one of the deadliest people in the galaxy.” Nebula started. “I was trained in battle for the entirety of my life—“

”So you should be really good at killing these rats, then.”

You were getting little more snippy with Nebula whenever you two talked. Being coy wouldn’t get you anywhere— you knew that already.

Nebula hesitated, then extended her sword. “I should.” She said. “For example.”

She threw the sword in her hand past your shoulder, and you dove out of the way, landing on the ground. You didn’t see it land, but you did hear it— it squelched. You looked behind you, and she hit another rat square in the head. The impaled body made you sick, almost sad, but you did tell her to take care of them... you turned up to Nebula.

”Wow,” You breathed. “Nice shot!”

She didn’t respond. Just walked right past you, and your eyes couldn’t help but follow her. Again with the hips— swinging like a pendulum. She strut all the way you the end of the hall and pulled the sword out of the body.

”Two down.” She said, almost in a purr. “You better catch up, Alex.”

She said your name! You didn’t even know that Nebula knew your name, but there it was. She said it. Not even a nickname, or your hero name..but your real name. And your heart did a backflip right into your stomach, and then your stomach did a backflip as well. Did Nebula realize what she was even doing to you?

It couldn’t hurt. You could have a little competition with her. It would be... a bonding experience. Maybe.

“Alright.” You managed to breathe. “You’re on. This a bet?”

”More like a competition.”

”Alright, I’m game.”

“What do I get when I win?” She asked.

Was she kidding? There were so many provocative answers you could have given there. And “when”?! She really had faith in herself. But you just gulped. “You Can decide,” you forced out. “If you win, that is.”

Nebula brandished her sword. “I’ll come up with something.” then turned on her heel and went down the hallway.

You exhaled.

The search had begun.

* * *

 After about two hours, you had scoured the entire ship twice over. You had cauptured and contained about 28 of those gross little space rats overall. Afterwards, you just kind of... left them there. You didn’t have the arm room to pick up all of the ones you caught, so you placed a small force field  around each one, so they at least didn’t escape. You hoped Nebula wouldn’t somehow break the fields and steal your catch.

This was an odd activity— killing and capturing space rats. Not your ideal date, but as you reasoned before, you had to climb the ladder. You hoped you could do more normal things with Nebula soon, like watch a movie or something. 

You wondered if Nebula had any hobbies other than murder and brooding. She hadn’t quite warmed up to you yet, but you knew she could definitely joke around with the other Guardians when she wanted to. Ever since your arrival she had been... stiff. Quiet. She couldn’t be like this all the time, could she?

You saw her pulling her sword out of another rat, and she turned to look at you.

”I think I got all I could find.” You rolled up your mask and wiped the sweat off your forehead. “I got 28. How about you?”

”One hundred and fourty-three.”

You cringed. “One huh— one hundred and fourty-three?!” You repeated.

”This ship is disgusting.”

”...What did you do with the bodies?”

”I threw them out the airlock.”

”...Are you serious?”

”Do you doubt my abilities?”

”Man. You are ruthless, Nebula.”

”How kind of you.” She sat down, back to the wall, kicking away the rat’s fresh corpse. 

“I guess I lost.” You sighed. It wasn’t like you thought you were going to win, anyway. But no matter. Whatever Nebula decided surely couldn’t be that bad. Hopefully.

”It seems you did,” Nebula said. 

“What are you thinking for your reward?”

”I’m still deciding.”

That didn’t bode well. It was probably something too great for her, or horrible for you. Either way, you didn’t look forward to it. “...could you please not make It’s too bad?” You requested.

“I don’t make promises.”

That also didn’t bode. As much as you would love to worry, you thought about it a little more. Nebula wasn’t one to fall prey to childish bets and games. You thought if you waited it out, you could probably get away scot-free so long as you didn’t mention it. You walked up next to her. “Mind if I sit?”

”Yes.” She cleaned off her sword. “But you probably will anyway.”

”Probably.”

She scoffed.

You furrowed your brow. “If you want me to leave you alone, you could have said so before. You didn’t have to accept the bet.”

”Well,” she said, examining her blade. “I don’t _entirely_ hate your company.”

You wanted to make a joke, but you couldn’t help but blush. It wasn’t the kindest thing she could have said, but... it still made your heart stir.

You sat down. “Sorry. I know you said you’d mind.” You cleared your throat.

You thought back to when you lay down in your bed, in your room. Africa was playing, and you thought about how you should probably cut this off too. It was too late for that by now.

The two of you sat in silence.

”I don’t hate your company either.” You tried to keep the conversation going. “I thought you were a sadist for a little while.”

”That was back when daddy was paying my bills.” The sound of her voice coupled with the sound of the sword sliding into the sheath on her hip made you shiver. “The Ravagers thought so too.”

”Gee, I wonder why.” You chuckled.

”Most likely because I’ve killed thousands.” She examined her nails.

”...Yeah.”

The silence returned, falling over like a blanket. Smothering you.

You opened your mouth to say something, face turning red. But at the exact same time, Nebula started to say something.

”Oh,” You blushed harder. “Sorry, you go first.”

She hesitated. “Thank you. For the candle. It... smells nice.”

”Oh, no worries.” You waved her off. “It was really nothing. I just had it around, so...”

”You just gave it to me to get it off your hands.”

”No—“ you fumbled with your words. “That’s not—“

”I’m teasing.” She said with an entirely straight face.

”Oh.” You smiled sheepishly, relieved.

”I’m glad you’re not entirely an idiot like everyone else in the Guardians.” Nebula deadpanned.

”Thank... you?” You said. “I’m glad you don’t think im an idiot. You’re not too bad yourself, Nebula.”

She looked at you, like she couldn’t believe what she heard. As if you had just told her a blatant, unapologetic lie. 

You cleared your throat, then you heard a voice in your ear. “Hey, Five Suits.”

You held two fingers to your communicator. “Yeah, Rocket?”

”We’re all finished up down here. You catch all those rats?”

”Uh,” You said, looking over up Nebula. “Not really. Nebula killed a good, like, 95% of them.”

”Nebula?” Rocket said in disbelief. “She willingly degraded herself to killing rats? Sheesh. She must have nothing to do.”

You scowled. “She did a good job, Rocket. One hundred and— how many was it?” You turned to Nebula.

You noticed she felt a little sheepish now that you were praising her. She wasn’t outwardly shy or blushing or anything, but her aura was so strong you could feel it without even trying. Her face was stone cold as usual, but her emotions said differently. “One hundred forty-three.”

”One hundred forty-three.” You repeated to Rocket, trying to suppress a squeal at knowing Nebula was embarassed.

”Oh yeah? Did ol’ Nebby do all the work for you?”

”No, I got 28 of them.”

Rocket cackled, and you visibly strained at the noise in your ear. “28, Huh? You must be real proud of yourself, Five Suits. Hey, maybe we should call you 28 Rats now since you’re so proud of it!”

”I’m not listening, Rocket.” You said before disconnecting.

“See you in a few minutes, 28 Rats!”

You groaned.

Nebula was back to sharpening her sword. “You could have taken all the credit.”

You shrugged. “I didn’t want to.”

”He would have gotten off your back.”

”I don’t need his approval.”

Nebula stopped, then looked at you. Once again, her dark eyes scanned you up and down.

It probably wasn’t why she was called Nebula. It was just something your infatuated mind had noticed. But when you looked into her eyes, you could see galaxies. You could see universes. You could see nebulae. The empty darkness lent itself to be warped and filled in by the imagination of the onlooker. And in your eyes, her eyes were full of stars.

Your face tinged red once more, and you turned away, instead looking at your feet in front of you.

The silence was infuriatingly tense, and even though this might have been the worse option, you poked at the wings on your head to turn on some music. 

“I hope you don’t mind if I play some tunes.” You joked.

”I probably will.” Nebula deadpanned.

”Too late. It’s on.”

The song that came out was Africa, by Toto. You smiled.

”Hey, I was listening to this earlier!” You said, looking over to Nebula. “Give it a chance, this is a good one.”

Nebula sighed and stared forward.

The music was very welcome, as the iconic beginning started to play, you bobbed your head. The words were quiet and soothing, and you occasionally looked over to Nebula to see if she enjoyed it. She retained her usual expression (RBF) so you couldn’t tell if she was enjoying it.

You couldn’t help yourself. You had to know if you were ruining your potential relationship with your music.

When you looked into her aura, you saw layers once more. What else was new? Nebula’s feelings were always complicated, it seemed. The first layer was annoyance, and that wasn’t a good sign. The second was still that sheepish feeling she got when you complimented her. That was a very good sign, and you couldn’t help but smile.

 _Its gonna take a lot to drag me away from you_ , went the music.

You looked past those two layers— and the rest was the familiar jumble you saw in Gamora. It was a confusing matrimony of multiple feelings blended together, crashing into each other over and over to create new feelings.

Sort of how you felt.

It was too late, you realized. You couldn’t stop this, now. Even after two days, the crush had escalated to an early point of no return. You were in it now, and you couldn’t snip it so easily. Just looking at Nebula made your stomach flip, and now that you wee going to live in closed location with her, you would see a lot more of her. No avoiding it. No escaping it. All you could do was cope.

The realization made you feel hopeless.

You had another feeling, too— a feeling out should turn off the music.

”Sorry,” You said. “I can tell you don’t really—“ Nebula looked over at you, still retaining hardcore RBF.

”I’ll just—“ you fumbled with the wing on your head, trying to turn it off. In your nervousness, it turned up louder.

 _I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA,_ the song went much more intensely.

“Augh— crap, wait—“ you began to sweat nervously. “Sorry.”

Nebula kept staring, then started to move. 

She adjusted her seating so she was in front of you, kneeling. Her hands lifted from her sides and touched the side of your head, right where the wing was. Her pinky finger brushed a part of your exposed skin, and over your hair— the mask was rolled up, offering full visibility of your face. The cold of her robotic hand almost made you shiver, but you held it along with your breath.

Her face was close to yours, inspecting the wing closely. You couldn’t stand to move, as you were afraid you would make her move as well.

Nebula’s hand seemed to linger for hours. The music stopped.

You could see every minute detail of the side of her face— when the purple and blue of her skin clashed, the lines that railed down her face, the little wires and metal edges of her cyborg parts. Her lips were next to your ear. But you couldn’t hear her breathing.

”There.” She said in your ear. It was all you could hear. pulling back. She stood up.

You were breathless. You could have read her aura, but part of you was too scared to. You didn’t allow yourself.

Nebula looked down the hallway, and you could hear other things now. You heard footsteps. You heard the voice of Gamora first.

”Nebula.” She said. “What are you doing here?”

”You know I can’t stand being all alone, sis.” Was that a joke? Did Nebula just say a joke? She really was full of surprises. “I decided to come and make myself useful.”

”Useful indeed!” Rocket crooned. “One hundred forty three rats, huh?” He turned to you, still sitting on the ground. “And ol’ Five Suits, slacking on the job. Tsk tsk!”

You hurriedly stood, ashamed now. So much for not having you prove anything. “I—“

”What’s with the red face?” Rocket raised an eyebrow.

”Just... wished I could get more rats.” You tried your best to make it sound like the truth.

”We can’t all be master-rat-killers.” Peter said.

Kraglin, thank god, stepped in to save the day. “Yeesh, that’s like.. a hundred seventy rats.” He grimaced. “I really shoulda taken this in to a professional.”

”You did.” Rocket jutted his thumb out to Nebula. “Rat-master over here apparently outdid herself.”

”You’re a rat.” Nebula put her hand on the hilt of her sword. “So unless you want to end up on the wrong side of my blade, stop squeaking.”

You bit your lip, feeling the tension now between them. The air was electric. “So,” You said instead. “Kraglin, Great to meet you.” You clicked on your mask. “I think it’s time we... left.”

The obliged.

* * *

 Flying back into the ship was a lot easier than flying out. You were getting more confident in your jet-booting skills, even though you needed some more practice.

”Good job.” Peter said to you. “With the rats.”

You laughed, a little bitterly. “Well.” You said. “It wasn’t much of my ideal job, but with Nebula’s help, I got it done.”

”Yeah.” Peter and Gamora shared... a look. It was times like this when you wished could read minds. Even though you had telepathy, that was open communication in privacy. Reading minds was a different thing entirely, sneaking into someone’s innermost thoughts, unknown. Being able to see whatever you wanted.

You thought logically that even if you had that power, you wouldn’t use it anyway. Morally, at least.

After that look was exchanged, You clicked off your suit and took off your mask. You excused yourself to go to your room. You were ready for either a nap or a meal, and it felt like the nap was coming on first.

As you walked around the corner, you saw Mantis. She smiled when she saw you. “Hi, Alex.”

”Hey, Mantis.” You smiled weakly.

She cocked her head at you. “What is wrong?”

She was an empath as well— and the emotional connection you shared was amplified by that. Mantis knew you just a little better than everyone else did, despite knowing you for the same amount as everyone else. Your feelings got absorbed by one another, and you could both read others emotions like books. You couldn’t really lie to her.

You sighed. “It’s just... complicated. All of it.”

Mantis cocked her head further. “I may be able to help,” she said. “I will have to feel your emotions.”

You hesitated. You didn’t want Mantis to see how you felt about Nebula. She surely would if you opened yourself up to her. This was the kind of crush you couldn’t share just yet— it was one that was still developing by far. 

Besides, Mantis didn’t seem to be good at keeping secrets. You didn’t want to risk it. It wasn’t assured that your privacy would be kept, and you didn’t even know what to think yet— so why should others?

You made up your mind. You wouldn’t share quite yet.

But you wish you made that decision before Mantis put a consoling hand on your shoulder.

Her antennae glowed. You didn’t know if she wasn’t doing this on purpose or not, but she was reading how you were feeling. You could feel it yourself.

You pulled back, but it was too late.

”You feel...” Mantis began, but trailed off. You took advantage of that quiet moment to push her into your room— you thanked your lucky stars that the door was already open.

Face red and panicked, you slammed the door shut before Mantis could say anything more. She looked alarmed at the sudden shoving.

She knew. She felt how you felt and she was about you say it out loud. She knew.

And you didn’t know if she was okay with that.

Being gay wasn’t exactly a cakewalk. It was a constant fear that the friends you had made or anyone who you had been around for awhile would dislike you once you came out. And now that you were stranded in space on what felt like an island, you couldn’t risk it. You could risk losing being part of a team before you even became part of the team.

”I don’t know how I feel.” You breathed. 

“I... can tell.” Mantis said. “I felt it too. Nebula has made you... confused.”

You shook your head. “No.” You said. “I was confused before Nebula. And I thought I had it all figured out. She just complicated things for me all over again.”

Mantis cocked her head again. “What do you mean?”

”I’m...” you sighed. Were you about to come out to Mantis— on day two? You already knew that you had some kind of twisted affection for Nebula, so it wouldn’t really matter repeating the obvious.

The problem was her saying anything.

She couldn’t keep a personal secret about Gamora’s past under wraps, and that was even more private than a crush. You couldn’t rely on her.

However... you did need to do something. You couldn’t just say “never mind, leave me alone”. Without express clarification, Mantis would talk. A lot.

You didn't want anyone to come out for you.

”I do think I like Nebula... in that way.” You said.

It was always nerve wracking to come out to someone. No matter how confident, no matter how much pride you had, no matter how many times you had done it before, coming out was scary. It was personal. It was intimate, and if it went wrong...

Then it went horribly.

You had come out before, to friends and family. Reactions were varied. The biggest problem was when people just said “I don’t care”— but they did care. You could feel their aura, and practically hear their thoughts. They tried not to make it a big deal, brushing it off, giving you a “whatever” attitude. Hiding however it was they truly felt.

You could see it. You could see it all.

You gulped. “Mantis, I wanted to wait a little while before telling you guys this. Definitely not on day two. But... I feel like I have to say it out loud. Even though you already know.”

Mantis listened intently.

”I’m gay.” You said it, like ripping off a band-aid. 

Mantis stared at you, blankly.

Maybe she didn’t know what gay... was? “I like women.” You clarified. “Romantically.”

”I know.” Mantis said. “I felt your feelings.”

”...and?” You asked, flinching.

”You are afraid again.” Mantis’ antennae drooped sadly. “I don’t even have to touch you to feel it. Why are you afraid?”

”...I thought you might... not like me anymore.” Coming out of your mouth, it sounded stupid.

”Alex,” Mantis said. “You are kind, and you are loving. You showed me kindness before you knew anything about me. I do not dislike you.” She smiled, and put a hand on your arm. “It is okay, Alex. You don’t need to be afraid.”

You sniffed.

Just as scary as coming out was, so was the aftermath.

Wiping at your eyes, trying to rub out the tears before they came, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.” You croaked.

Mantis opened her arms up and shuffled towards you. 

“What are you doing?”

”I am giving you a hug.” She very, very slowly put her arms around you. “I heard this is what people do to make you like them.”

As soon as she made contact, she began to bawl as well.

”I—“ she sniffed deeply. “Have never known such relief!!”

”Yeah,” You choked out. “This happens every time I do this.”

”Every time?!” She cried.

”Well, almost.”

”What a—“ She hiccuped. “What a wonderful life you live!”

You smiled, holding Mantis tighter.


	5. Do-over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tense dinner, we jump to a week later, at an impromptu dance party.
> 
> Surely, Nebula will be kinder to you by then...

After the ordeal, and once you both dried your eyes, you told Mantis you keep this a secret. “You are not to tell anyone this, okay?” You asked. “This is private.”

”A secret?” She said in hushed tones.

”Yes,” You said. “A secret. The secret is that I’m gay, and I think I like Nebula. You can’t tell anyone that.”

”Yes.” Mantis nodded. “I will not reveal your gay secret.”

”Alright—“ You put a hand to your temple. “Even though it’s true, don’t call it that. Sometimes when I do this, people don’t take it well. They sometimes get angry, or even sad when i tell them I like women.”

”They do?” Mantis asked, genuinely confused. “Humans are strange.”

”Strange indeed. So I need you to wait until I can tell them myself, okay?”

”Okay!” Mantis smiled. “How long will that take?”

You sucked in a breath. “Ideally...” You said. “About ten months.”

”What?!” Mantis wailed. “I must stay silent for that long?”

”No, you— you can talk.”

”Oh, okay.”

”Just not about this.”

”Okay.”

”Great.”

”Great.”

You released a breath, and sat on your bed, exasperated. Mantis was not doing a lot to help your mental state. Stupid useful empath abilities.

Drax opened your door, and you jumped. “Dinner is ready.”

”Duh—Drax!” You exclaimed.

”That is not my name.” He said. “It is only Drax.”

“I know. Sorry. My bad.” You shot Mantis a look.

She nodded, eyes wide. “I am going to go eat food.” She moved almost robotically.

God, Mantis.

Drax watched her go by, seeming the scrutinize her every move. When she seemed out of earshot, he said “she’s acting weirder than normal.”

”Yeah, weird, I guess—“ you stood up. “Man, I’m starving! What’s for dinner?”

You didn’t wait for an answer, just walked right by and sat down at the table first. Drax eyed you and sat down as well. Mantis was sitting diagonally from you, at one head of the table, biting her lip.

Peter came out with a “kiss the cook” apron on, but instead of cook, he wrote “Star-Lord” over it. Very dorky. Very Peter. He set down a platter with some alien food on it. It seemed to be a kind of meat, similar to a turkey.“Dinner is served.”

”looks good.” Attempting to calm yourself, you focused on the platter. You couldn’t tell what it was, but it smelled good.

“Serve yourself up.” Peter sat at the head of the table. “First come, first serve.”

You put a piece of whatever the meat was on your plate, then passed it to Drax. As he carved you a large chunk of the food, Gamora came and sat down— as did Rocket and Groot.

”What a smorgasbord.” Rocket said, looking at the meal. You didn’t realize it was sarcastic until he said “This is supposed to feed eight people?” Rocket’s default voice was just sarcasm, it seemed.

”Yes, Rocket.” Peter put his hands on his hips. “And if you don’t get enough, dig something out of the trash.”

”I am Groot.” Groot grumbled, still on his game.

”Hey, and no video games at the table. Put that down. It’s family time.”

”I am Groot!” Groot exclaimed angrily.

”I don’t care, you skipped out on a lovely family outing today and I certainly don’t care for that attitude.” You knew Peter was only half-joking, but it still made you chuckle.

Groot let out a dramatic, prolonged sigh, and sulked away to put his game down.

”Yeah, Groot.” Rocket said as Groot reluctantly performed this angsty teenage anger. “You could have killed some rats with Five Suits.”

You scrunched up your nose. “I don’t want to think about killing rats before I’m going to eat.”

”Oh yeah, Five Suits?” Rocket took the platter from Gamora, who was in the middle of carving herself a piece. “This is a dead animal, buddy! You’re gonna have to think about it sometime!”

”You’re going to be a dead animal,” Gamora said tersely as she swiped back the platter “if you don’t quiet down.” She carved a piece off, put it on her plate, and passed the platter over Rocket’s head and straight to Groot.

”Well, here comes the expert now!” Rocket pointed over your shoulder. You looked behind you, and Nebula was walking up to the table. “Maybe you should ask Nebby about dead animals.”

You looked around the table, and noticed the only empty chair was to your left. Drax was on the other side of you, and Mantis sat on the end of the table. The two of you made eye contact with wide eyes.

“Hey, Neb.” Rocket called out. “Could you give us some pointers on killing small animals?”

”If you don’t close your mouth,” Nebula stared him dead in the eye. “I’ll make an example out of you.”

You shivered. Mantis seemed to feel it too, because she gave you another look.

After Mantis carved off a piece of meat, she handed the plate to Nebula. “Here you are, Nebula.”

”Thanks.” She took the plate and pulled off what seemed to be a leg. The entire leg. Sure, it was about the side of a turkey leg, but it was still a bit jarring. She held the platter out to you.

You took it, trying your best not to touch her hand as you did so. You hastily thanked her and put the platter back on the table, as you had already put some food on your  plate.

”Look at us,” Peter said. “One big, happy family.”

”More like a hungry family.” Rocket groaned. “Can we not do this and just eat?”

”You know,” Peter continued without missing a beat. “Amidst all the arguments, scuffles, and rat-murder... sometimes we lose sight of what’s important.”

You looked over to Gamora, who you assumed would know something about what was happening. After furrowing your brows, she just shook her head and shrugged.

”And what’s important is...?”

“Eating?” Rocket said.

”An oxygen rich atmosphere?” Drax said.

”I am Groot?” Groot said.

“No.” Peter said.

”Oxygen rich atmospheres are vital for all our species—“

”what’s most important,” interrupted Peter. “Is family. And our newest addition to our family,” He turned to you. “Is an important part too.”

You smiled, embarrassed, but a little proud. “Thanks, Quill.” You scratched the back of your head nervously— you weren’t a fan of being put on the spot, but here you were. Everyone was looking at you.

”I wanted to do this because I spent my first night with you on the team wasted,” Peter continued. “And that wasn’t a very ‘me’ thing to do.”

”It was much like you to do.” Gamora said.

”Regardless,” Peter ignored Gamora. “I wanted this to be a restart of night one, so you could see what I am really like.”

”If that was the goal, night one was fine.” Rocket snarked, resting his chin in his hand.

Once again, Peter ignored the criticism. “Welcome to the team, Alex.”

”Thanks.” You smiled. “I appreciate the do-over.”

Peter sat down as Rocket said “Are you done?”

”Yes, go ahead.”

Rocket snatched the platter and finally piled up some food on his plate. As you started to eat, Rocket began running his mouth again.

 “Y’know,” He said, stabbing his fork into a piece of meat. “We really should have saved those rats.”

”Rocket, please don’t say something disgusting.” Gamora requested, exasperated.

”I’m just saying, it’s wasteful to get rid of all that meat.” He put a hunk of the food on his plate into his mouth. “I’m sure rat meat isn’t half bad.”

And appetite lost. You pushed you plate slightly in front of you, making sure your disgust was shown to Rocket. Sure, it was what he wanted, but you would rather spare everyone else’s hunger than have to listen to the raccoon ramble on and on about eating vermin.

“That would have been a childish reward for myself,” Nebula said. “Making you eat vermin.”

”Yeah.” You stuck out your tongue. “Gross.”

”Reward?” Drax asked.

”Nebula and I bet on who could kill or capture more rats.” You picked shamefully at your food. “She won by one hundred and fifteen.”

Drax guffawed. “Ha-ha!” He laughed. “How foolish of you to compete with Nebula! In such a form she is skilled in as well!”

”Yeah.” You rubbed your arm. “Not the best idea.”

”Now you are dumb AND a loser!”

”Yup,” you sighed. “She won.”

Then you felt something beside you, from where Nebula was sitting. Something deep, and powerful. It was an aura that was layered, but layered with the same feeling— pride. Nebula was incredibly proud of herself, and it almost shook you to your core the true confidence and pride that was coming off of her.

You had always seen her as confident. The way she walked, talked, and acted overall gave off a vibe of “I’m better than you, and I know it, so stay out of my way.” It was a sight to behold. You had never read into her aura past the first few layers, and when you got a peek, all you saw was a jumbled mess.

Now it was no longer jumbled. If only for a moment, Nebula’s absolute pride overwhelmed you, to the point where you couldn’t think clearly. It was clear Nebula had never felt pride like this, she had never had someone believe in her like this—

She had never won. With those two words, “she won”, Nebula was vindicated.

And then it stopped, you assumed with the realization it was a childish bet with a childish person. The pride sank back down past the other folds of complicated feelings and memories that Nebula had constantly been grappling with. It was so quick. She didn’t even have time to savor it.

You looked to Mantis, and used your telepathy to speak to her without being heard. _Did you feel that?_ You asked.

Mantis looked up towards you, and squinted her eyes. You maintained fierce eye contact as you said _It’s telepathy. Just think, don’t say._

 _No, I did not_. Mantis responded, her face focused.

As you were communicating, you caught Rocket’s eye. He stared at you staring at Mantis, still chewing his food slowly.

You wanted to say something back, but Gamora spoke first to Nebula. “Good job.”

And there it was again. The pride exploded off of her, to the point where it almost made you sick. You sat, frozen, trying not to now a muscle as these emotions washed over you. You didn’t experience them— you were just an onlooker. 

You were looking at someone who had struggled all their life, someone who was inferior. Upset. Tearing themselves apart and getting pieces back together, someone who felt unworthy, unloved, unsaveable.

It was amazing that something as simple and odd as a rat-killing contest could bring someone so much pride.

Through it all, through the deafening aura that Nebula was exerting, she stayed calm. Silent. Stoic. Not a single expression was revealed, and nothing could hint at the fact her sister’s praise almost destroyed all of her past sorrow. This was a wave that lasted longer than the last one, and even though you tried to tap out, to stop reading her aura, it drew you in and under like a riptide.

Though pride felt like a good emotion, it was not good for you. It was bitter, it was painful, it made your stomach wrench to feel second hand emotions this strong. You had to ball up your fists and dig you nails into your palms to try and stay grounded.

The more powerful the feeling, the more powerful the effect, good or bad.

You looked to Mantis. She felt nothing. She couldn’t feel anything without touch.

Staring back down at your food, the pride slowly died down to a more manageable rate. You could breathe again.

Rocket looked up from his plate, and directly at you. He was sitting directly across from you, and he looked confused at your intense expression. “Hey, if all this talk about rat-murder is churnin’ your stomach, go puke out the window or something.”

“That’s not it.” You unclenched your teeth. As Rocket waited for a response, you couldn’t think of anything that it actually would be— so you changed your answer. “Nope. That’s it. I’m not into dead rats.”

Peter scoffed. “Who would be?”

You looked at Nebula out of the corner of your eye. She spotted you, and glared. You swiftly turned back to your own plate.

She really wasn’t showing it. She really didn’t want to say she was proud. Or maybe she did, and just wasn’t showing it.

”So, you get a reward, huh Nebby?” Rocket grinned wickedly. “I can think of a few things you could get from Five Suits. Like, say, one of her suits.”

You furrowed your brow. “No. No way. I am not giving away one of my suits.”

“You have FIVE of them!” Rocket said angrily. “Who needs that many?!”

“Nebula’s perfectly strong on her own,” You said without thinking. “Why would she need one of my suits?”

There it was again. Pride. But Nebula couldn’t hide it this time. Her face was turned down low to her plate, as if the meal in front of her were the most interesting thing in the world. It washed over you, the pride, and made you sweat with how intense it was. You clenched your jaw and tried to ride it out.

”She’d take it just to spite you,” Rocket fired back. “That’d be a good use for it.”

The pride quelled a bit, and you could have jumped up and thanked Rocket it you didn’t dislike him so much.

“I’d rather not.” Nebula said. “I’m sure there’s a better prize for me than stealing baby’s toys.”

Did... did she just call you baby? Not a baby, just baby. That one took you by surprise. You scratched your nose, trying to casually hide the red that was beginning to spread across your face.

”Well, it would be an improvement. Taking her down a notch.” He talked as if you weren’t even there. “Maybe you’ll get down to three suits.”

You just picked at your food, seething. You didnt know what to say.

“Rocket, cut it out.” Peter said through a mouthful of meat. “Mantis,” Peter tried to steer the conversation towards her. “Please tell me you have a peaceful conversation starter to offer. If not, make Rocket go to sleep.”

Your stomach flipped. Would she say something? She told you Gamora and Nebula’s entire backstory with little prompting.

Mantis was chewing some food, but stopped in her tracks and swallowed. “Okay,” She said smiling. She reached over the table and said “sleep”, really drawing out the word, but Rocket swatted her hand away.

You thanked your lucky stars.

”Don’t touch me, bug brains.” The raccoon sneered.

”She does not have bugs for her brain.” Drax said. “That would be horrific.”

”It’s an expression.”

You tried to cut up your food and focus on your own thoughts. But they just kept talking.

”I am Groot.”

”What? No, just stay at the table for ten minutes, Groot.”

”I am Groot.”

”I don’t care that you didn’t reach a save point! You can play it again. It’s what you do all the time.”

”I am Groot!”

You put down your fork. You could only listen to this so many times, and you weren’t that hungry anyway. You were just... tired.

“I’m going to bed,” You said, trying not to make it sound like you were irritated. “All that rat-catching took it out of me.”

”Nebula seems fine,” Rocket said. “And how many did she kill? How many was it, Neb?”

Nebula didn’t answer, she just shot Rocket another glare. You stood, and shut yourself in your room.

Suddenly, without warning, you sighed deeply and profoundly, putting your hands over your eyes.

You just felt drained. Nebula’s brief and powerful pride, Rocket’s teasing, the stress of having to trust Mantis to keep a secret— it was all tiring. The contrasting personalities and constant attention and close quarters and all the people you didn’t know and all the places you didn’t know and all the jokes you didn’t know— You just wanted to sleep. You wanted to relax.

You wanted to go home.

The thought was a surprise. It snuck up on you. You enjoyed your time with the Guardians so far. It wasn’t a bad time, per se; you were a little homesick. Not for your apartment, or your surroundings, or even your family. Just knowing that Earth was there.

Did Peter ever feel like this?

Homesick?

You thought he must, sometimes. You couldn’t read it in his aura— those were usually pretty cut-and-dry. Did he have layers too the you just weren’t seeing?

It was everything at once that made you want to just go back.

It was the inside jokes and everyone’s shared history. You were here to fill a gap because some space cops told them to. You weren’t here because they wanted you to be. You were there for a reason— to keep emotional equilibrium. Well, good work with that. You didn’t even think about trying to calm Rocket down when you were at the table.

It was the crush on Nebula, and how it was dumb, but it was at the front of your mind. You wanted to do something, anything, scream into the void of space about how you thought her eyes were gorgeous, how her precision made you shiver, how you wish you could get past these awkward walls and barriers and just know her. Part of you wanted to tell her. The part of you that wanted to stay alive told you to keep your mouth shut.

It was knowing you would have to come out eventually. Knowing you couldn’t live lying this whole time. You couldn’t just awkwardly laugh and brush it off if any of them asked if you ever had a boyfriend. You couldn’t stay quiet when they asked of your past relationships. As you would grow closer with them, you would have to open up more. You would have to say something eventually. And if they didn’t like it, you were stranded.

You curled up in your bed, pulling your knees to your chest. The pillow was soft. The air was stale. If you closed your eyes tightly enough, you could imagine you were on Earth.

It wasn’t a horrible, deep feeling that made you feel like you were going space-crazy. You just wanted to look out your window and see the sky. 

You tried. It was still space and stars.

You wished you had the power to control time instead, so you could just fast-forward past all the uncomfortable stuff.

You held a pillow in your arms and rested your chin on top of it, trying to soothe yourself. You turned over and grabbed your headphones, plugged them into your phone, and put your music on shuffle.

A guitar riff started, a repeating roll that screamed in your ears.

You laughed bitterly.

 _Darling, you’ve got to let me know. Should I stay or should I go_?

Appropriate.

You squeezed your eyes shut and let the music overtake your mind, pushing out all the buzzing thoughts and feelings and homesickness.

_One day it’s fine, the next is black. So if you want me off your back, well come on and let me know— should I stay or should I go?_

You pulled the blanket on the bed over you, not bothering to brush your teeth or even change into your pajamas. The sounds of The Clash faded out as you fell asleep.

* * *

 Two weeks passed.

Over those week, you learned. You learned a lot more about the Guardians and their lives, how they came to be part of the same team, their old families, their struggles. You learned over dinner and over drinks and over talks with them. You were still new, so they didn’t tell you everything, of course— but you learned.

You also learned how to cope, like Tony sarcastically said when you left for the Guardians. The dynamic truly was that of a family; always at one another’s throats, but they certainly would fight for each other. You learned how to interpret Groot’s speech, at least a little bit. You weren’t fluent, certainly not after a week, but you could infer. You knew what guns were Rocket’s favorite, and what not you touch. You learned not to use metaphors around Drax.

Nothing incredibly eventful happened over the course of this week, but it meant the world to you that they felt like they could talk to you alone about things.

Peter was abducted from Earth in 1988, almost moments after the death of his mother. He grew up with a Ravager named Yondu, who you learned had very recently passed away. The wound was still fresh in Peter’s mind, and you put out as much calming energy towards him as you could. It seemed to effect him, because as his eyes started to well up, he looked at you and smiled thankfully. You only nodded.

His father, Ego, was another story entirely— a living planet who had absolute cosmic power, and was trying to pass on his celestial genes to thousands of his offspring. It turns out being Celestial is not a dominant gene trait, because Peter was the only one that held this power. He had to kill his father, which was the only way to save the Galaxy. You didn’t know what to say to this.

What could you even say?

Peter also told you he met Mantis this way— she was Ego’s pet of sorts, who helped him sleep at night. She apparently wasn’t treated to great, so she was taken onto the team as a Guardian. It was odd to think of Mantis as possibly Peter’s half-sister.

There was also the time that he defeated a man called Rowan— someone who worked for Thanos. This guy really got around. When Peter said that the thing that saved an entire planet was challenging him to a dance-off, you could only look around to the others and wordlessly ask if this was true.

It was.

Gamora’s issues with her father were even more awful, as Thanos was still alive and killing, as far as she knew. It was heartbreaking, hearing her story. She didn’t full-on monologue about her past, but she did clear up a few things for you. You never had any inkling that Thanos was a good person, and Gamora truly cemented it.

Drax wasn’t shy to give up details about his life— all of them. When you asked Drax about his old family, Peter tried to stop you, but it was too late. He tried to tell you a few... personal things... about his family, but you were able to thankfully cut him off before he said anything really gross. All you could gather from his stories were that he had a wife and a daughter, who were both taken from him.

Rocket, however, didn’t tell you anything. He refused to open up, even when you explicitly asked, saying that he “didn’t want to get all sappy”. The others, thankfully, didn’t tell you what his story was. You never wanted to hear about something personal from someone second-hand.

Groot may have told you something, but Rocket refused to translate for you, just to spite you. You hoped Groot liked you and didn’t base his opinions off of other people by Rocket’s standards. When you let him borrow your 3DS, he looked as if you gave him the holy grail itself. He was grateful, but still an angry teenager.

Nebula’s past was still one of mystery, and she was like a locked box. You only knew what she told you, and that she joined the Guardians once her sister convinced her to stay once Yondu passed. And that was fine. She wasn’t entirely ready to share her emotions with you.

That was fine. You weren’t either.

Over the next couple days, your crush on Nebula only got stronger. It wasn’t like you thought about her every second of every day, but your head certainly turned when she walked by. As far as you knew, no one had realized you’re crush yet— and if they saw you staring, then they reasoned you were just keeping an eye out for her.

You accepted it, after about an extra day of moping. You realized you could never befriend her if you’ve acted this way. That was kind of a given, but you just needed time to be flustered. You no longer were a wreck around her. There was no use in trying to nip the bud now, because it was no longer a bud, but not yet a blossom.

It was getting easier to talk to her, even when she wasn’t opening up. You filled in the blanks with your talking. To make conversation, you asked her if she thought of a reward yet. Her answer was always a “I’m still thinking”.

You would fire back “It better be good if it’s taking this long.”

She would say “It will.”

This became a bit of a running joke between you two, and you could feel her aura soften, and her tense walls would begin to crumble. Just a little.

Mantis kept your secret well enough. After a little while, you suspected she may have even forgotten. You would often share stares and glances, but after about four days, you heard her communicate with you telepathically.

 _Why are you looking at me_ , She asked.

You got less worried after that.

You got less homesick. It didn’t go away, but you could ramp it down enough so that it wasn’t at the forefront of your mind. At the very least, when you did feel more homesick, you brought it up with Peter. The two of you would talk and talk and talk for hours about things about Earth you missed. And when you came across something from the modern era that Peter didn’t understand, you explained it to him.

And boy, you loved explaining.

”You know what I miss the most?” You began another one of your Earth conversations. Peter was sitting in his pilot’s seat, and you had stolen Rocket’s chair. He wasn’t around, so you could get away with it. Gamora was sitting nearby, acting like she wasn’t listening. You knew that Earth stuff was interesting to her, even though she didn’t show it. 

”What do you miss?” Peter asked.

“Probably how close together everything is.” You sighed. “You don’t have to fly to the next universe over to pick up a Starbucks or something.”

”Starbucks?” Gamora asked.

”Its a place you get coffee.” You said.

She still looked a little confused as to what coffee was.

”It’s like fuel for adult humans.” You said.

”You know what I miss about earth?” Peter said.

”What do you miss?” You asked, the usual line you said whenever Peter talked about Earth.

”Movies.”

You groaned. “Ugh, yes, movies!”

”Yeah. Good movies.”

”Ones with David Hasselhoff?” Gamora said.

That one surprised you. You looked over at Peter.

”I told her who David Hasselhoff is.” He explained. “That isn’t just some random Earth trivia she knows.”

”He used to pretend that David Hasselhoff was his father as a child.” Gamora said bluntly, with a hint of smile in her voice.

You looked over to Peter, not sure what emotion to express. That was pretty funny, but knowing who his father was, it was understandable he would pretend Hasselhoff was his dad. You probably would too.

Peter chuckled. “God, I’ve missed so many things back on Earth.” He looked over to you. “Could you give me some highlights?”

You thought for a moment. “Well,” You started. “There’s a lot more heroes than before. Like seriously, it feels like every other person has freeze beams or can lift a car or something. And... well, you missed a lot of TV shows, food, music...”

Peter groaned at that. “God, music now must be so good!” He looked over at you again. “It’s really good now, right?”

”Music has definitely... changed.” You said. Introducing someone who has listened to almost nothing but 70’s and 80’s pop would be a little hard at most. Modern music really was a mixed bag. “I’ll give you this, though— the 80’s have circled from out of style to ‘retro’.”

”What does that mean?”

”Old, but cool. That’s why I have so many 80’s songs on my phone.” You held up said phone.

Peter’s eyes widened. “That’s a phone?!”

Oh my God. Peter Quill had no idea what a cellular phone was. He had only lived in an era of landlines.

”Its not just a phone.” You said dramatically. “It is also a music device, a calculator, a compass, a computer, a camera, a video game console, a document saver, and more.”

Peter looked astounded.

”And that’s from Terra?” Gamora asked.

”We’re more advanced than you thought, huh?” You grinned.

“I missed so much,” Peter shook his head. “I never thought I would be back on Earth again...”

You stopped for a moment, then remembered when the Guardians came to pick you up. Peter did say he wanted to stay, at least for a little while. It had been thirty years since Peter had been abducted, and you couldn’t imagine being away rom your home planet that long.

He really had missed so much.

You looked over, and he had a look of longing on his face. His aura was solemn. Somber.

”I’m sorry.” You said. “I wish you could have stayed longer.”

Peter shook his head. “If I did, I would probably never leave.” He looked over to you, trying to change the subject. “So... how about that music?”

You took out your phone chord, and looked for a port you could put it in. “I don’t presume you have any USB ports on this ship?”

”A what?”

You shrugged, waving him off as you dug in your bag beside you. “Never mind. I have a portable Bluetooth speaker.”

”Terran devices have teeth?” Gamora asked.

”No—“ you started to get confused as to why she would even think that, but to be honest, teeth on a cell phone wasn’t the strangest thing you could think of in the modern age. “It just a name, I don’t know why they call it that.”

You synced up your phone, then realized something. You were about to represent the entire modern era in this song.

You suddenly got irrationally stressed out.

”I just want to clarify,” you started to say. “That I’m not interested in a lot of ‘mainstream’ music. So I’m not the best person to come to if you want a summary of the 2000’s.”

”Pfft, it’s fine.” Peter waved you off. “Just put on something good.”

That didn’t really assuage your fear, but sure. You could do ‘good’. 

You scrolled through your playlist, trying to find something close enough to Peter’s taste. “I Want it That Way”, “Fifteen Minutes”, “Single Ladies”, “I Kissed A Girl”, and “Bohemian Rhapsody” all went by. These were good songs, but you were always stressed when you had to pick a song to show someone else. Especially when someone’s tastes were kind of niche.

”I’d like to choose.” Peter said, getting a little impatient. You didn’t blame him. This would be one of the first modern songs he’s heard in thirty years. You handed him the phone.

”You won’t even know what you’re choosing.”

”That’s fine. I like a surprise.”

”Pick your poison.”

He looked at it a second. “How do I...”

”Oh— oh! You just tap the screen to choose a song, and you use your finger—like this, to scroll.”

”Ok, so...” he focused as he looked through your playlist.

”You don’t mind,” You turned around to look at Gamora. “Do you, Gamora?”

She shook her head. “It’s alright. Peter’s made me pretty used to music by now.”

”Yeah, she actually likes it sometimes.” Peter said, still focused. 

You didn’t even realize he finally chose something when the speakers went “ONE! TWO! THREE! UH!”

Hey-ya started to play, loud and proud.

You grinned. You didn’t even miss a beat and started singing.

”My baby don’t mess around, because she loves me so, and this I know for sure—!” You shamelessly started to harmonize with the music. Hey-ya was one song you couldn’t sit still to, and as shy a smile you were with singing, you could at least hum along if it got too embarrassing. You nodded your head to the beat. “Good choice!” You said, clapping rhythmically at the points where the song did so.

Peter smiled, nodding his head too. He didn’t know the words, so he couldn’t sing along, but you could tell he liked it.

You were able to relax, to get consumed in the reality defying-music. OutKast really knew how to put you in a different world with their music. And you were literally in a different world from what you were used to, so it was only fitting.

You sang to the chorus, dancing in your seat a little bit. Peter joined in, picking up the tune. The two of you bobbed your heads at the same time, grinning like idiots.

You looked behind you at Gamora. She didn’t seem to hate it. You could tell she was still kind of getting used to music, but she was welcoming the change. “How do you like it, Gamora?” You said at a break in the chorus.

”It’s... very upbeat.” She said.

”You’re not wrong.” You went back to singing.

Peter became more expressive in his dancing, pointing back at Gamora at the line “Don’t try, to fight the feeling ‘cause the thought alone is killing me right now!” He looked like something out of a bad music video, exaggerating his facial expressions and putting a hand on his heart. Gamora was amused by this.

Peter got out of his seat, full-on dancing now, unabashedly to the music, doing little hops and kicks and punches, with the occasional spin. He kept mouthing the words to the best of his ability, shaking his hips to the beat. You laughed at his superb dancing skills.

He did a thing with his arms where it looked like he was pushing the dance through his body, and then shot it out to Gamora. It had no effect on her, and she just shook her head.

Peter nodded his head stronger, on contrast to Gamora’s denial. He side-stepped up the stairs to the music, now standing beside her. He gently took her hand, and she began to grin. You felt almost as if you had to look away, as they were sharing an intimate moment.

You turned back in your seat, looking straight forward into space. It would feel as if you were a peeping Tom, watching them dance, so you just mouthed the words and snapped your fingers on your own.

The chorus came back up and Peter said “C’mon, Alex! Dance with us!”

You raised an eyebrow, turning back around. Did he really want you to interject and spoil their moment? “I’m fine here. Thanks. You two go ahead.”

”What? No, come on! I thought you were cool!” Peter turned to you.

”I’m cool,” You said. “I’m just not a dancer.”

”Aw, man!” Peter whined. “Again with this?”

You knew Gamora had an adversion to dancing. She wasn’t very comfortable with it, especially infront of other people. Peter seemed to be the only one she could dance with, and even then, it wasn’t to the kind of music that Hey-Ya was. She wasn’t fully comfortable, no neither were you.

You weren’t exactly a dancer either. You had two left feet when it came to dancing, and you were much more comfortable watching others than doing it yourself.

Gamora crossed her arms. “Alex,” She said. “It’s alright.”

”Sorry?”

”I wasn’t a dancer either,” she said. “But he taught me. You’ll be more comfortable once you do, because he won’t stop asking until you dance.”

”She’s right. I won’t.” Peter said, still dancing a little bit.

”Come on. We’ll dance if you will.”

You held onto your forearm, uncomfortable. You were getting more used to the Guardians and their antics. You could notice the dynamics they held, and how they felt for one another. Peter was indeed a dancer, and Gamora was learning— she would even sing along sometimes to the music Peter played. They were both growing, and they were both feeling closer to each other.

But you were not close enough. You were an observer; you ways had been. Of other people’s lives, their emotions, their relationships— their dancing. 

This was a moment between Peter and Gamora. A moment you were not supposed to interrupt.

“I’m not a dancer.” You crossed your arms as if you were holding yourself.

”Neither was I.” Gamora said.

”Three’s a crowd.” You said back. 

Peter looked over his shoulder at the doorway. He grinned. “Let’s get four and make it a party. Hey, Nebula!”

Your head whipped around, surprised. There she was, standing with her hip popped out as if she were a model. “I heard the music all the way from my room.” She said, voice raspy. “Turn it down, or I’m destroying your zoo.”

”Its called a Zune, Nebula.” Gamora said.

Nebula’s gaze faltered, and she looked embarrassed. Did she really say “zoo”?! What was it with Nebula and pronouniation slip-ups? You had to suppress a little squeal because of how cute that was. Her aura turned very bashful, but she pushed it down and it faded.

”Its not mine,” Peter said. “It’s Alex’s.”

”Thanks for placing the blame on me.” You mumbled, remembering that you were a pacifist right as you balled your fist.

Nebula looked to you.

Instinctively, you apologized. “Sorry.”

”Don’t apologize for a dance party!” Peter continued to dance, uncaring that Nebula was looking at him with a dead-eyed stare. “Just do it! Dance!”

”I told you, I don’t dance. Sorry.”

“It can’t be a dance party if you’re not dancing.” The chorus came back on, and Peter mouthed the words, reaching a hand out to you— again, like someone in an old, bad music video.

”You can dance with each other.”

”It’s your music!”

You just squinted your eyes and shook your head again. “No, thanks. You two can enjoy.” You walked past Gamora, feeling bad for being a bit of a killjoy. Hopefully they could have fun without you.

As you got up to the top of the bridge, Nebula was still in the doorway. You were brave enough to say “Excuse me...”

”Dance.”

You repeated what you said in a different tone. “Excuse me?”

Nebula stood with her chin up. Like she was surveying you. “I’ve decided my reward.” She said. 

No. There was no way. This was literally the worst possible option. This was the timeline God abandoned.

”You’re kidding.” You breathed, dejected.

”I told you it would be a good one.”

”I thought you stopped being a sadist when dad stopped paying your bills?”

”Old habits die hard.”

You didn’t have anything to say to that. “I hate you.” You whispered.

“Get in line.”

You bit your lip and turned around. You put up your hands in an “I give up” position.

”Alright.” You said. “Alright.”

Peter had an open-mouth smile and two hands on his head. Gamora was trying to hold back a smile of her own.

“Oh my God.” Peter said as if this were the greatest thing to ever happen to him.

By now, the song had ended. You exhaled, and went to go pick another one, but Star-Lord was already there. 

“Hey, come on—“ you begin to protest.

”Nebula, can I pick the song?” Peter interrupted you.

”No,” She said, and you felt relieved. Until she opened her mouth again.

”I’ll pick the song.”

Peter grinned again and looked back up at you, mouthing the words “oh my god”. You just shook your head, unable you do anything else.

Peter picked up the phone and gave it to Nebula, who struggled to activate it using her cybernetic hand. She switched to her organic one, picking up on the controls quickly. You watched her scroll, and your stomach felt it was used for origami.

”This is hell.” You said in the silence. “It’s like moments before you get executed.”

”Really? Seems pretty great to me.” Peter said.

”I didn’t know you were a sadist, too.”

”I’m not. I’m a dance-ist.”

”I’m a good person. I paid my bills on time. I did an honest day’s work. I’m a pacifist, for christ’s Sake. Why is this happening to me?” You groaned.

”Because you made an impossible bet against me in a stupid situation.” Nebula deadpanned. “And this is my reward.”

“I know.” You admitted. You crossed your arms.

The silence continued. You tapped your foot on the floor, causing Nebula to glare at you without even lifting up her head. The tapping slowed, then stopped. Even when she looked down, you felt eyes on you. You looked over to where Peter and Gamora were standing, and they were watching you expectantly.

“You guys better not just stare at me the entire time. I’ll faint.”

”I did say I would dance if you would,” Gamora said. 

You exhaled, thankful you wouldn’t be alone in this.

“Even in front of your sister?” Peter asked. Valid question.

”This sister can hear you.” Nebula said, not looking up from the screen. “And I will stare at you the entire time.”

Suddenly, noise came from the speakers, making you jump. A piano, playing the opening notes to— 

Dancing Queen by ABBA.

You looked at Nebula as the instrumental played out. “Why did you even pick this one?”

”Its the most ridiculous name on the list.”

You grumbled. “Gamora,” You turned to your last resort. “Can you stop her?”

”Nope.” Gamora said flatly. “It’s too late for you now.” Gamora looked over to her sister and smiled.

To your surprise, she smiled back.

This started as moment between Peter and Gamora. Now it was a moment between Nebula and you. She had intruded, unabashedly, and demanded that you dance with a confidence you had never seen before. She didn’t ask, she didn’t plead— she told you.

Maybe that was that you really liked about her. The crossroads between the fear and the love; where infatuation and self-preservation met. Her confidence, her strength, her calm under pressure. You wish you had that, especially in this moment.

And maybe she wasn’t doing this out of a love for seeing you tortured. Maybe it wasn’t the sadism at all. Maybe it was something else— maybe it was her seeing that you were a watcher, surrounded by doers. Maybe she was giving you a chance to do, to have fun, to be a dancing queen. To be confident, like her.

Or maybe you were reading too much into it, and Nebula just wanted you to be embarrassed.

Either way, You owed it to her. You owed it to yourself to dance, at least once, and let someone else be the observer.

It was your moment now.

And you danced. And you sang.

 “You can dance,” You rocked your hips as you pointed at Peter and Gamora. “You can ji-ive!” You pointed now at Nebula, who was sitting in a seat with her elbows on her knees. “Having the time of your life!”

Peter cheered as you danced to the music, becoming more and more carefree with every step. You pointed again at Nebula, singing “See that girl,” you swung up your other arm, pointing st her with two hands now. “Watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!”

Peter took Gamora's hands and joined you now, stepping back and forth energetically. She almost seemed to get swept up in the dance, bobbing her head and moving her shoulders and Peter pulled her toward him then pushed her away. The two were truly happy to dance.

You looked over at them and laughed through the lyrics, doing a little twirl and pointing your finger in a random direction with every prominent strike of the piano keys. It was... fun. It was light, and a good time, and you didn’t care how stupid you looked. And you looked very stupid.

It wasn’t a graceful dance, with any rhyme or reason to it— you were just moving for the sake of moving. That was a very human thing, and here you were, two humans and an alien, dancing as if there were no tomorrow. You did feel good. You felt as if the confidence that Nebula radiated had infected you as well, and your pride glimmered enough that you hoped SHE could feel it.

You swiveled your head around, looking at Nebula.

She watched. She didn’t even tap her foot.

You smiled at her, at the confidence she gave to you. “Come on,” You said.

”What?” Nebula asked.

“Did you really start a dance party with no intention of dancing?” You raised your eyebrows, still moving to the beat. “Come on.”

”How could you come to the assumption that I dance?”

”I didn’t think I’d be dancing tonight. Here I am.” You did a little wiggle. “Dancing.”

”I don’t dance.”

”Neither did your sister,” you pointed out Gamora, who got gently spun around by Peter. “And neither did I.”

”If you make me dance,” she said. “I’ll cut your feet off so you can never dance again.”

”Sadist.”

She didn’t respond. She just crossed her arms and made a “shoo-shoo” motion.

So you read her aura.

And you smiled.

It was a longing, a wanting for what was happening right in front of her— the dance. It was a bashful want, a childish request; in her mind, at least. It was natural to what to dance, but she was too proud to let herself.

Wen you thought about it, it didn’t surprise you. All the anger and being closed off could only run so deep.

She kept looking at you. “What are you grinning at?”

”Someone forgot,” you did a little shimmy to the music. “That I am an empath,” you did a spin. “—and that I can also influence emotions.”

Nebula made a face that confirmed, yes, she did forget that you weren’t just a Terran who decided to live amongst the Guardians of the Galaxy for no reason.

”You’re a confident person, Nebula.” You slowed your dancing down a bit. “And you want to dance. You shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

“I’m not embarrassed.” Nebula shot back. “I don’t know why I want it. It’s just foolish.”

“Then join the fools. Doing something you want to do isn’t dumb.” You shuffled your shoulders and held up a finger as the chorus circled back again. “And, as ABBA says—“ you mouthed the words as they were sung.

_You can dance, you can jive! Having the time of your life, Oooh! See that girl, watch the scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!_

_”_ I don’t want to.” she insisted. “It’s beneath me.”

”Well,” You started. This may have been a bad idea. You almost dared yourself to say it. “Then maybe you need to take a step down.”

Even with the music, it felt silent. You continued to dance.

Her aura said that she wanted to dance. She did, indeed, want to jive, and have the time of her life. The reason, however, was jumbled. You could only guess it was to... prove something. Maybe that she could be something other than a sadist, or a killing machine. That she could be a girl, who never got kidnapped by Thanos, and just enjoyed dancing.

You could almost feel her dual ideas behind to grapple with one another; wanting to remain strong, vigilant, above everything and everyone. She wanted to stay that way, unyielding, unmoving. Nebula did not dance.

But, you also saw change shifting in her. It was an odd one, to say the least— a want to try. A want to attempt to do this, this one thing, to have fun and be carefree. You could see that the side she was, the side she grew as and into was winning.

Nebula wanted to dance, but she wouldn’t. She needed a little coaxing.

”You...” You breathed. “I want you to do this with me.” 

You didn’t think of the words before you said them. They just came out.

”If you spend your life wanting,” Nebula narrowed her eyes. “Then you might be disappointed.”

”If you spend your life watching,” you fired back. “You will be disappointed.”

She was quiet.

”I would know.”

Nebula hesitated for a moment, and said, a little sheepishly, “I don’t know how.”

”You don’t have to know!” You exclaimed, thrilled that she took your offer. “Just...” You shimmied again. “Move the way the music moves you.”

Nebula nodded, which slowly turned into her nodding her head to the beat of the music. She stood. You could feel her nervousness.

”Hey,” You said quietly. “If you really, really don’t want to do this.” You came a little closer to her, so Peter and Gamora wouldn’t hear you. “You don’t have to. I only asked because... I felt that you wanted this.”

”No.” She said. “I never turn down a challenge.”

You nodded, smiling a bit. “I can teach you, if you want.”

”No.” She repeated firmly. “I can do it myself.”

”Then at least let me give you a little confidence.” You insisted. “I can’t normally dance like this, and you making me...” You swallowed. “You making me dance, pushing me out of my comfort zone... actually made me feel good.” 

She looked at you, apprehensive. She then looked away, crossing her arms. “I’ll take some confidence.”

You smiled, giving off an aura similar to that you felt from her at dinner a week ago— the one that knocked you off your feet and got rid of the layers. It had a serious kick.

Nebula’s face visibly changed, and her shoulders untensed. She looked at you, surprised at her newfound confidence. You smiled and shrugged, back into dancing. “Helluva drug, isn’t it?”

Nebula swallowed, then rocked her hips side to side. She was still a little bashful, and she looked away as she did so. “Like this?”

”There you go!” The hip-moving, as always, made your face red. But you had to get over yourself. Nebula was more nervous than you were, and you had to coach her. “Move your arms a bit.”

Nebula did so, bringing her hands beside her chest, fists formed, as if she were ready to punch someone out. They swung back and forth a little. 

“Yeah! Look at you go!” You cheered.

For just an instant, Nebula smiled. Not a smirk, not a deadpan grin, but a genuine outward expression of positive emotion.

Your heart burst from your chest and began to soar.

The music crescendoed.

_You are the dancing queen, you and sweet, only seventeen._

_You are the dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah!_

It now wasn’t just a moment between you, it wasn’t between you and Nebula, and it wasn’t between Peter and Gamora. This moment, this dance, it belonged to all of you. And you couldn’t be happier.

This expression of vulnerability— this trust in you to help her learn, to be kind, so early on in your friendship— it almost made you emotional.

You looked at Nebula as she danced. She seemed to be... experimenting. She swayed her hips instead of rocking them, she incorporated her shoulders into the shuffle— she even took a step or two. She looked at you as if searching for confirmation she was doing it right.

You did one move where you swung your arm above your head to the rising of the piano notes, and Nebula mimicked you. You were synchronized.

”Yeah! You really are a dancing queen!” You encouraged her.

Peter and Gamora turned towards you, out of their little bubble. When they saw Nebula up and doing her little shuffle, Peter outwardly gasped. Gamora’s eyes widened and lips parted in surprise.

Nebula stopped, frozen, as if she snapped back into reality.

You whipped around, desperate to not lose this moment. “Hey!” You said, only partly joking. “Can’t a girl get some privacy? Go on, back to what you were doing.”

Peter and Gamora looked at one another, then tried their absolute best not to look at you two. They returned to dancing.

You exhaled, relieved. But when you looked back to Nebula, she was already gone.

”Oh, no.” You said under your breath. You checked over your shoulder at the other two, and they were back in their own little world. Before they could sneak another look at you, you followed after the sound of Nebula’s footsteps.

And as the sounds faded, you felt that feeling of sinking and being overwhelmed again. Only this time, it wasn’t in pride. It was shame and anger.

She had gotten scared away. She thought they were mocking her.

”Nebula!” You called out, without hesitation. You saw her foot, just coming into her room. You ran up to the door and saw it was about you be slammed shut.

You thrust your hand out with a surge of adrenaline. You held the door for just a second, then it whipped open. An angry Nebula was standing there, hands curled into fists.

”This was a mistake.” She  growled before you could say anything.

 “Nebula, they weren’t making fun of you.” You wanted to get that out of the way as fast as possible. There were too many ways this conversation could have gone badly, and you didn’t want the main point to just be glossed over.  “They were just surprised.”

”Surprised that sadistic, menacing, ‘stone-cold biatch’ Nebula expressed joy for anything?” She hissed. “I wonder why.”

”Nebula, that isn’t it.” You tried to plead with her. “You said it yourself. You aren’t a dancer. They just—“

”And look what happened when I tried to be.”

”They were impressed!”

”They thought I was ridiculous!” Nebula screamed. “And you humiliated me.”

Her aura was astonishing. Such anger, such rage— such shame. There was so much scorn, self-ridicule, and the shame, the shame was too much to endure. It was... it was awful. You couldn’t take knowing that someone you loved felt like this. 

It was similar to the pride. Only the pride made you feel sick, and it was as if millions of voices were screaming in your head and the acid in your stomach was bubbling. This felt like someone was pushing on your eyes from behind your skull, and tying your bones into knots. It was agony.

Nevula allowed herself to be vulnerable, and she got so hurt. Unimaginably hurt. What you thought was a little dance was such a show of trust that had been violated by outside observers.

She was embarrassed with herself. Ashamed. Ashamed that she had fun, ashamed that she was watched by her sister, someone she admired. Nebula has interpreted Gamora’s surprise as disgust.

She thought she lost.

“I wanted you to have fun.” Your voiced cracked on the word ‘fun’. Uh-oh. “I—“ You swallowed.

Nebula stopped yelling. Her aura quelled, but you kept crying.

”I didn’t— I didn’t w-want to embarrass you.” You sniffed, looking at the floor. “I-I wanted your trust. A-and to give you... what you gave me...” You began to cry harder. Tears began to fall down your cheeks. “Confidence. Joy.”

Nebula stood there. You couldn’t bear to look at her face.

”I’m sorry.” You apologized, rubbing your eyes. “I didn’t know... you felt that way.”

Nebula’s body tensed.

”Th-that... that you think.. th-that you’re weak.”

You could see her hands now, they were balling into fists.

”Y-you shouldn’t...” you rubbed your nose. “No one should have to feel that way. You don’t deserve it.”

Nebula sniffed.

You looked up at her.

It almost looked like she was crying, too.

You immediately hugged her, diving at her body and wrapping your arms around her back. She struggled, and pushed you off. She didn’t want to be comforted— she was angry.

“I do deserve to feel that way,” she screamed, “because I am weak!”

”No, you aren’t!” You yelled back. “You just have feelings!”

”That’s exactly what makes me weak!” She shrieked, tears flying from only one of her eyes. Her organic one.

You stopped. It was quiet. You couldn’t even hear the music in the distance, even though Nebula said she could hear it from her room.

”I’m—“ Nebula rubbed at her eyes, almost scratching at them, trying to rid of the tears. “I am emotional. That’s what makes me weak.”

”No,” you shook your head, over and over. “No.”

“It is beneath me to feel!”

”Then you should take a step down.” You repeated what you said earlier.

”You—“

”Stop.” You ordered. You said it in the same way Nebula told you to dance.

She stopped, to your surprise.

“You aren’t weak.” You said. “You hold yourself to a high esteem— and that’s hurting you.”

”You can’t know how I feel.” Nebula growled.

”I do. I do know how you feel, Nebula! I can—“ you groaned. “I know how it feels to think you’re weak because of emotions!”

”You don’t know the shame I feel. For throwing away everything I was.”

”I don’t.” You admitted. “I don’t.”

It was quiet once more. Nebula lifted her hand to point at you. “Get out.”

”Nebula, please stop!”

”Why won’t you leave me be?”

”I want to help you!”

Nebula laughed. It was hollow.

”Please, Nebula— I know a form of what you feel! Being ashamed of emotions!”

”Really?” Nebula hissed. “How?!”

”I’m gay!” You yelled.

It was as if a switch was flipped from on to off. Nebula froze.

”i’m...” you breathed deeply, tears starting to form once more. “I’m just so tired. Of hiding it now. I’m tired of hiding everything. I’m tired of just shoving it all down, and I wish I did something earlier, but I didn’t, and now—“ You our a hand to your face. “And now I hurt you.”

This wasn’t the plan. This wasn’t the plan at all.

”And I know how you feel,” You pressed a hand to your chest, hard. “Because that is how I feel. Exactly what I said— that is what I see in you now. The anger, the shame, the wishing you could go back in time and do something to right all the wrongs. Nebula...” You shrugged guiltily, weakly. “We can’t.”

Nebula didn’t say a word.

”And you,” You continued, voice getting shaky. “Need to let yourself go. Because if— If you keep telling yourself that feeling things is weak, then you yourself will be weaker. So please,” You rubbed your eyes, and kept your hands there, with your head facing the floor. “Let yourself go, because I hate to see you suffer. I don’t want you to hurt like I did, and be shameful for feeling joy. Don’t hide it anymore.”

Nebula slowly, very slowly, walked in front of you. It was such a gradual movement you barely heard her. When you finally stopped rubbing your eyes, you saw Nebula’s feet close to yours. You looked up, and saw her face close to yours as well.

Your breathing slowed. Time also seemed to slow.

Nebula took your hand, slowly, cautiously, in her cybernetic one. She wrapped her fingers around it. They were cold. 

You wrapped your fingers around it in return.

”Okay,” Nebula whispered. “Okay.”

”I’m sorry.” You apologized again.

”Stop apologizing.”

”Sorry.”

You looked at one another, and shared a sad laugh.

“I...” Nebula began, staring at your hand on top of yours. “I am... glad... you trusted me.”

You sniffed. “I’m glad you trusted me. I’m just— I’m just sorry it didn’t go well.”

”Me too.”

Silence again. There were a lot of silences in your conversations.

”It won’t be that easy.” Nebula said. “To make myself vulnerable.”

You released a breath. “I know.”

”But... I’ll try.”

You looked up at her. “You wil?”

”Alex...” your name again. “I don’t want to be like this. I’m tired of feeling this way.”

”Then just do your best. To change.”

”...What about the others?”

”The others?”

”What will they think of me?”

”Who cares? Certainly not you.”

Nebula chuckled, and shook her head. “I do care.”

”Then I’ll tell them to cram it.”

”Sadist.”

”Takes one to know one.”

You were back to your back-and-forth. You smiled, relieved.

”Hey...” you said. “You can be emotional and strong. And even if you don’t feel strong, you don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.”

Nebula nodded, staring at the floor. “I think... I may have already made progress.”

”Yeah?”

”I usually wouldn’t be talking about my feelings to a person I’ve only known two weeks.”

”You have made progress indeed. I’m proud.”

Nebula looked like she held back a smile, then, catching herself, she let out the smile. You grinned back.

Nebula looked back down at your hand, and she flinched, just a bit. She let go clumsily, and you released as well.

Baby steps.

”So,” You said. “...What do we do about the storming off and yelling?”

”Ah.” Nebula seemed at a loss for what to do.

”... we could just walk out and act like nothing ever happened.”

Nebula smirked. “Good idea.”


	6. Nebulous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nebulous (adj)
> 
> Vague or ill-defined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perspective switch!! No more first person!!

Nebula looked at her candle.

It was the only accessory or decoration that adorned her room— out of place on the technologically advanced but bare expanse of her room. A primitive thing, as practically no one relied on fire as a resource for light and warmth anymore. It really did stick out like a sore thumb.

But Alex had given it to her. So, for some indistinguishable reason, she kept it.

Nebula wasn’t one for sentimental artifacts or knickknacks. She had no use for them. If it had no function, why even bother?

She attempted to reason that it was... nice. It was nice to have around.

Ever since Alex had opened up to her about being gay, Nebula had tried to make herself more sensitive. For her sake. So keeping a sentimental object would be a good start.

It wasn’t easy, and even a few days after the meltdown, she still wasn’t good at it.

Once they had exited her room afterwards, Peter and Gamora looked understandably worried. They wouldn’t stop looking at the two of them. Maybe they had heard the screaming, but they didn’t hear the quiet resolution of the dancing incident.

That was fine. It wasn’t their business, anyway.

The two acted as if nothing had happened, but Nebula was aware Alex had privately made it privy to them that it was okay, and that the two were on good terms. Alex was soft, and could not bear for there to be tension that could be easily solved.Nebula realized that she said nothing about her being more sensitive.

She thanked her for that. Not out loud, though. She wasn’t sensitive enough for that.

Evn with the minor explanation, Peter and Gamora were still wary. Nebula was already on slightly thin ice with her sister, what with almost leaving to try to kill Thanos and all. But even in that, Alex tried her best to be an emotional equalizer, communicating others feelings expressively and clearly. Misunderstandings couldn’t be afforded.

Nebula allowed herself to get caught up here and there, in her positive emotions. A genuine smile. A nod to the tune of a song. She even allowed herself to feel a little bit sad now and then.

Just a little bit.

She hadn’t made her way to showing emotions completely publicly yet. Smiling at others was out of the question. She would only bob her head to music when she knew she was the only in the room. And she would never, ever express sadness on her face.

Alex had said to Nebula later that all emotions were valid, no matter how they made you feel. Anger, joy, love— it was all fine. No one got to pick and choose how they truly felt, and it was much easier to ride the wave than to just anchor yourself.

Nebula had a tough time unchaining herself. But she was trying.

She really was.

Nebula looked at her candle.

She hadn’t lit it yet. The thought actually hadn’t crossed her mind. She thought that she would just let it sit there, like a paperweight existing in a world with no paper; useless. But maybe this could symbolize something. An opening of herself to doing new things, less violent and harmful things.

Gradually, of course. She was still lighting something on fire.

She heard the sounds of little claws walking by, and she looked out her open door. She saw Rocket pass by, and she called out to him “Got a light?”

Rocket stopped in his tracks, surprised that Nebula had said something to her. “ ‘Scuse me?”

”A light,” She repeated.

”You know I do.” Rocket pulled a blaster off of his back and cocked it. “What shall I light up?”

”Something smaller scale, Fox.”

“Yeah, sure.” Rocket reached into a pocket on his outfit and pulled out a small cigarette lighter. He cautiously walked into her room, stashing the blaster back in its harness. “Why? D’ya smoke?”

“Not unless my circuits are failing.” She didn’t smile with that one. She wouldn’t come across as that causal off the bat, least of all to Rocket.

”Are you about to burn this ship down?” Rocket asked next. Why was _that_ his second question? “Because if you could at least let me prepare an escape pod first—“

”I wanted to light a candle.”

”A candle?” Rocket asked. “Why’d you have to choose the most boring thing to use fire on?”

”Just give me the light.”

Rocket sighed, and tossed Nebula the lighter. She caught it in one hand, then clicked it a couple times.

As she was clicking it, Rocket looked at the candle. “Where’d you even get it? You ain’t much in an interior designer.”

Nebula resisted the urge to tell him to mind his own business. ”Alex gave it to me.” 

“Five Suits?” Rocket asked, with a more disbelieving tone this time. “Why’d she do that?”

”As a thank-you,” Nebula said, finally producing a flame, “for fixing her suit.”

Rocket laughed. “Not fixing. Just getting her out of it.”

”Still.” Nebula said, pulling back from the candle once the wick caught flame. “She gave it to me. It’s mine now.”

”Yeah, that’s how the general exchange of goods and services goes, Neb.”

Nebula didn’t answer. She was tired of this already.

Rocket looked behind him. “Hey, Neb.” He grinned, a toothy one. “Can I tell you somethin’?”

”What is it, Rocket?” Nebula became increasingly irritated, even before what Rocket was going to say.

”Y’know, about Five Suits...” he grinned wider. “I think she’s a lesbian.”

Nebula raised her eyebrows in a mock surprised-yet-curious expression. Rocket was a touch slow on the uptake— but again, it seemed that everyone else on the ship was too. As far as Nebula knew, only she and Alex knew she was gay.

This wasn’t news to her, but she wasn’t about to officially out Alex. “Really?” She added an extra glossy tint of patronizing “tell me more!” Just to let him know how oblivious he was.

”Yeah,” Rocket continued, not picking up any of it. “Remember that stupid Do-Over dinner? I saw her making eyes at Mantis almost the whole time.”

Nebula didn’t know what that was about, but it was most likely just Rocket trying to get some kind of reaction. She played along, really amping up the “I’m-not-interested”. “Is that so?”

”Right in front of me!” Rocket exclaimed. “It’s not like I have a problem with it, I’m not that much of an a-hole— but she thought I wouldn’t notice!”

Nebula just hummed offhandedly now, flicking the lighter off and on.

“Man, That makes what I was actually gonna say make me sound like a _real_ a-hole.” Rocket scratched his chin. “Is planting an override bug onto the power suit of a gay girl a hate crime?”

Nebula stopped flicking the lighter, holding the notch so it was still on. “What?”

”Yeah, Okay—“ Rocket put his hands in front of him in a hear-me-out position. “It sounds bad, but honestly, it’s fine.”

”Enlighten me.”

”Five Suits seemed to be getting on a real high horse. Just talkin’ On and on, ‘blah blah, so happy to be here, look at all my suits, blah’. So I put an override bug into one of her suits; while I was cleaning my teeth in it.” Rocket laughed. “Wish I coulda seen her come in, all stiff and frozen! Was she in a weird pose?”

”She was standing normally.”

Rocket made a “pfft” sound. “She even figured out how to ruin that for me. Geez. If I saw her anyway, I probably woulda laughed too hard, just from the look on her face! Sorry I had to make you clean up my— oh, sorry, _her—”_  He winked. “—mess. I’ll make it up to you.”

He put a claw to his chin, then snapped. “Keep the lighter. My treat.”

Nebula scoffed, getting more and more irked by the second. He did that; what, just to humiliate her? That wasn’t just a waste of the whole team’s time, but it was also cowardly. Using this machine to make fun of and embarrass a new team member? And hiding away, not facing the responsibility or even confession his actions?

”Have you told Alex this?”

”What? No.” Rocket rolled his eyes. “She’d skin me alive. Whoops, no, whatever the pacifist equivalent is. Put me in time-out?”

Nebula was no longer irked. She was now just... angry. This wasn’t okay. This was ridiculous, childish, and irresponsible. Alex could have gotten hurt. What if the suit malfunctioned while she was in battle? What if the suit froze, mid-flight, and she fell to the ground from high up in the air.

Nebula set down the lighter.

“Why did you think,” Nebula started. “That was okay?”

“Because Five Suits is a self-entitled prick with, let’s see, how many? Oh yeah! Five suits.” Rocket crossed his arms. “Also, I don’t like her.”

Nebula pinched the bridge of her nose. Rocket was so quick to try and get a reaction, and even quicker to accuse, belittle, or try to humiliate someone he disliked. It was baffling the lengths he would go to in trying to make a fool of someone. For no reason other than he didn’t like the person, he would try everything to make them miserable. It just made Nebula frustrated, the way he acted.

She was certainly frustrated now. But she didn’t show it. On instinct, she popped a bottle in her mind, and put her emotions right in it.

“Fine,” Nebula said. “Great to hear. Take you and your little vendetta out of my room.”

Rocket raised up his hands defensively. “Whoa, Alright there, Nebby.” He laughed, turning tail and walking away. “Nice chat.”

He stopped in the doorway. “Hey, don’t spread any of the hot goss. Keep it on the down low. Sub saxa.” And then he left.

Nebula furrowed her brow and wrinkled her nose. He angered her to no end, but normally, she could shake it off in moments and attribute it to an immature rat being immature.

However, this one stuck. And it lingered.

Even as she was out buying supplies on a neighboring planet, even as she was training, even as she was eating, even as she went to bed that night and lay there, sleepless, she still thought about it.

How Rocket tried so desperately to humiliate Alex.

It made her blood boil, she had no idea why she was being so protective of her all of a sudden.

It came out of nowhere, this protective feeling. This feeling of raw fury when she heard about Rocket’s plan to try and make her seem less than, untalented, just some human with a malfunctioning suit. And she wasn’t that. She was capable, despite not being powerful. Sure, she wasn’t ready for battle, but she certainly was trying.

It was... vague, this feeling. It didn’t lend itself to words or expressions, at least not that she knew of. It wasn’t...

What she was afraid it was.

It was something else. Something ostensibly smaller. Average-sized. No matter how small it was, though, Nebula was new to confronting emotions, especially positive ones. The problem was, she had no clue if this one were positive or negative. It brought her anger to see Alex dismissed like this, but wasn’t protection of another person good?

No matter how she pondered, once she reached a certain point of thinking, she hit a wall. As if part of her brain could not logically comprehend why she was feeling so defensive about Alex.

Nebula sat up in her bed, and stared at the candle.

The flame had gone out awhile ago. But she could still smell the mixture of smoke and the ocean. The scent was “Ocean Breeze”, but Nebula had never been to an ocean before, so she would just have to take the candle’s word for it.

Nebula got up, and took the lighter Rocket gave her to light the candle Alex gave her.

She stared at the flickering flame until she got tired.


	7. Model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since Nebula is prone to brooding and staying still for long periods of time, you find that she would be a great drawing reference.

You twirled your pen between your fingers, bored.

It was approaching a month that you had been with the Guardians, and you hadn’t even saved the galaxy once. False advertising.

In fact, you hadn’t done much of anything. No saving people, no helping people other than Kraglin, and there wasn’t  lot of monster fighting either. You didn’t expect that the Galaxy was in trouble literally all the time, but you did think it was a little more dangerous than this. It reminded you of your life on Earth, except this time, you were on a spaceship.

You certainly weren’t complaining, though. Space was gorgeous, and it lent itself to be drawn so many different times without becoming boring. On days when nothing seemed to be happening, (every day) you would stare out your little porthole window and draw the nebulae that would make itself visible to you.

But today you decided you would draw something else. Like the Nebula you had onboard.

You weren’t really planning on asking her. You had kind of lost your ability to plan things ever since your joined the Guardians. No plans could account for all the going’s-on that would occur at any given moment, so you just gave up on any kind of schedule or plan. There was no cosmic trouble, but there certainly were issues on personal levels.

The Guardians were out doing something (something non-heroey, and while you would have jumped to attend, you were just feeling kind of tired and wanted to hang back a bit.) and you were alone in your room.

The idea came to you once you picked up your pen after dropping it to the floor, and leaving your room, sketchbook in hand. Nebula was standing in the main room of the ship, her back to the wall and her arms crossed. It was a real cool pose.

You had to draw that.

“Hi,” You said to her, smiling.

She turned her head, ever so slightly. “Hello.”

She still hadn’t really opened up to you yet. Once the two of you finished your heart-to-heart, it felt almost entirely like nothing had changed. At first, you were a little perturbed by that— but then you realized this was a big step for Nebula. Letting herself be expressive would take more time than just a few days.

”So,” You started. “Are you doing anything today?”

”Why?”

”Well, you look pretty relaxed.”

“Am I usually tense?”

A joke. You laughed, and Nebula allowed herself a little bit of a smile as well. You were proud of her for that one.

”Well, do you have plans?”

”No.” she said cautiously.

you continued, sitting down at the table. “Good, I wanted to ask before I did this.”

”What?” Nebula’s eyes darted up and down, from you to your sketchbook.

”Mind if I draw you?”

”Draw... me?” Nebula turned her head back around, so she wasn’t facing you. “Why?”

”Its not often I get a lot of models to reference.”

”Models.” Nebula repeated bluntly.

”I mean— as in, like, someone to base a drawing off. Not, like, a runway...” your voice faded. “Anyway.” You cleared your throat. “Is that okay?”

Nebula hummed slightly. “I don’t have any plans. Fine.” She crossed her arms. “So, do I just...?”

She was nervous. You could feel it from a distance. You could understand why, this was a little intimate. After all, you had to sit and stare at Nebula for a long period of time... maybe you didn’t think this through.

You were a little nervous too. You would, of course, show her the finished product once you were done. You wanted it to look as good as Nebula did. 

”Yeah,” You said, too late to back out now. “You can just strike any pose that feels natural.”

She leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms. She put one leg in front of the other. She turned her head so you could only see the organic side, and she was trying her best not to look at you.

”Perfect,” You said, smiling. “Now hold that...”

You took out your pencil, and began to do a rough sketch of her. It was a conglomerate of shapes, hardly beginning to resemble how Nebula actually looked. It was just the base— it didn’t have to look like her. Not yet, at least.

You kept looking up, stealing glances, then quickly looking back down. It was instinctual, more than anything. You were used to taking quick looks at Nebula when she wasn’t looking because of your crush. You almost had to remind yourself that this was a circumstance where you HAD to look at her. So you slowed how quickly your eyes darted back down to your paper. You let your gaze linger just a little longer.

Nebula’s emotions were once again, layered. What else was new? There was embarrassment of course, there was a lot of that between you two in general. You were both clumsy in expression your emotions, even though emotions were kind of “your thing”. You had never been good with personal ones. You had been good with dissecting someone’s emotional state to figure out why they were doing what they were doing, and what help you could seek. You couldn’t exactly read your own emotions. All you felt was what you felt, and you had no outsiders opinion of why unless you verbalized it.

Nebula was still as much of a locked box as ever. She didn’t verbalize anything except what she needed to. Sometimes not even that. With you, you noticed, she was a little more sensitive. Even though she was new to this whole feeling thing, you could feel her aura soften when you were near. It was that bit of trust that you would hold close, and keep safe.

You looked up again you see her eyes looking towards you. Her head hadn’t moved, but she was staring right at you. Her eyes flicked away once you made eye contact.

”You don’t have to stay completely silent, you know.” You sketched out the rough shapes of her shoulders. “You can say something, if you want.”

”I’m fine.” Nebula said.

You looked up at her again, suspecting that she was pushing her emotions down again. “If you _want,”_ you put a lot of emphasis on ‘want’. “You can say something.”

Nebula sighed, nodding her head gently as to not change her pose. “Right. Well...” she talked quietly. “I was wondering... why you wanted to draw me.”

Your head cocked up so you could see her face. 

“Well,” You said, turning back down so you could finish your sketch. “You’re a good subject. You brood a lot, so you can hold poses for long amounts of time.”

”I love it when you call me special.”

Another joke. You laughed harder this time, putting a hand to your mouth to cover your smile. You continued to giggle as you put more details on your sketch.

There was the Nebula you wanted to see. Not forced emotion, making herself open up as much as possible, but it really was the little things that counted the most. The fact she was able to make jokes with you really was a step in the right direction.

”You’re doing really well.”

”With the posing, or the emotions?”

”Both. You’re great at both.”

“How kind.”

”Yes, you have some real potential as a model.”

Nebula raised an eyebrow at that. “You’re joking.”

”I’m serious!”

”Stop.”

”Nebula, you’re very attractive—“ You stopped, face getting red.

Once again, your words came out without you thinking. Nebula was gorgeous, no doubt about it— but you knew Nebula was more than a little self conscious of her appearance. She didn’t like to talk about it often, and you hoped you weren’t putting her on the spot too bad by calling her attractive.

Nebula just exhaled and kept looking forward. “Sure, Alex.”

”I mean it,” You said, voice getting hard. “You’re beautiful, Nebula.”

”I’m not. Stop saying that.”

”Nebula, you’re gorgeous and there’s nothing you can do about it.” You were insistent. “Opening Up to Emotions step #1: accept compliments.”

Nebula grumbled.

”I know it’s hard,” You put down your pencil and looked at her. “But you have to.”

”It makes me uncomfortable.”

”And it’ll make the other person uncomfortable if you say that you’re not.”

Nebula huffed, crossing her arms tighter.

”I’m not going to keep drawing until you admit it. Or at least say thanks.”

Silence.

”Nebula!” You exclaimed. “You’re beautiful!”

”Thank you.” She forced out.

”There we go,” You smiled, picking up your pencil again. “A step in the right direction. You’re getting better at this already.”

”Don’t be so patronizing.”

“I mean it. You were a locked box before, but now you’re a box with... a lesser amount of locks on it.” You joked back.

”Well, you haven’t really told me your life story either.”

”Huh?”

You looked back up, and Nebula had turned her head slightly to you. 

“You haven’t told me a lot about yourself.”

”I haven’t?” You didn’t even chastise her for moving a little.

Nebula shook her head.

Thinking back on it, you really hadn’t told Nebula much about yourself. Maybe you didn’t tell her a lot about who you are because she never did, and you couldn’t work your life into the conversation naturally. 

”Alright enough movement— if you stay still, I’ll tell you my life story.”

”I’ll just leave then.” Thankfully, she was just joking again, and she stayed still.

”Do you want to hear about my life?” You lifted an eyebrow, putting the finer details on her face.

She didn’t really answer.

You shrugged. Still new to emtions and learning about other people. You’d have to carry the conversation.

”Well, I’ll tell you anyway. I was born on Earth. Raised on Earth.” You looked back up at her.

”Surprise, surprise.”

”I have three younger siblings. Still on Earth.”

”Three?” Nebula asked. She seemed surprised, almost. You guessed that having one sibling was hard enough for her, so she couldn’t comprehend having three.

”Yeah. Three. Two are twins, one is a year younger then them... they’re pretty great. I miss them.”

Nebula hummed. You wondered if what you said was insensitive for a moment.

“And my parents. Also on Earth... some aunts, uncles, cousins...” You shrugged. “I don’t have a super remarkable family.”

”Sounds remarkable to me.”

She meant the fact that you got along with your family and didn’t attempt to murder them ever chance you got. You shuddered at the thought, then turned back to your drawing.

”Well,” You said. “Other than that, I didn’t have much on Earth. 9 to 5 job. No heroing offers.” You put your pencil down and picked up your pen, ready to ink in the sketch now. “There wasn’t a lot for me there. So... now I’m here.”

It was shorter than you expected. Your life was wholly unremarkable.

”Any friends?” She asked.

”Not really.” You shook your head. “I was a bit of a loner. No girlfriend, either.”

Nebula hummed offhandedly.

“I’m glad I am here, though.” You started to carefully fill in the lines with ink. “Because I had always wondered if there was something else out there. And now I know there is. And I get to be a part of it. I’m really lucky.”

”You aren’t here because you’re lucky.”

You looked up at her, midway finishing inking her arm. “Sorry?”

“You’re here because you’re skilled.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, bitterly. “Skilled.” You repeated. “I’m not. I don’t have any kind of experience. I’m here because a multi-billionaire and some space cops told me to be here.”

Even though this was an issue you hadn’t thought of a lot, it still buzzed at the back of your head. Skilled. You didn’t have skill. You had emotional abilities and were able to put bad guys in time-out. You never even did that before. Not in real life, at least.

It wasn’t a matter of whether you thought you could do it or not— it was simply the fact that you never had. So what would you do when some galaxy-destroying entity came into being? What would you do then? Guardians didn’t really deal in petty crimes, so there was no way to work your way up. All you had ever done is lose sparring, break a suit, and catch rats.

Sometimes you thought you weren’t fit to be a Guardian. You weren’t some hardened warrior or experienced taskmaster, you were just some random person from Earth. You weren’t special.

The anger and frustration must have shown on your face, because Nebula said “hey.”

You looked back up. Nebula still hadn’t moved from her pose. But she was talking to you, even though she wasn’t even looking your way.

”This team is better with you on it.”

Even though Nebula giving you praise made your heart flutter, the cynicism of what you were thinking about before shut it down. ”How? I haven’t done anything.”

”You have. You helped me stop being such a ‘stone-cold biatch’.”

You could only chuckle. “Not sure if you’re there yet. But you’re making progress.”

“Even the fact I’m talking about this is proof I’ve made progress.” Nebula’s eyes shifted so she was looking at you. “It’s because of you, Alex.”

Again, with your name. It almost made your worries disappear. Almost.

You turned back down to your paper, face turning a little more red. “Thanks.”

”You’re welcome.” Nebula looked back straight forward.

You drew in neatly the curves of her body, how her neck met her shoulder, how dark her eyes were. You tried to get in every fold and crease of her clothing, and you put as much detail as you could into the knives on her hips.

After a few more minutes of silence, you had finished inking it in. You exhaled, and wiped your brow, smiling. It didn’t look half bad.

”Okay, you can move now, Nebula.” You held the paper so she couldn’t see it. “I just need to color it in now.”

Nebula relaxed, stretching her arms upwards. She groaned very quietly as she did, seeming thankful she could get up now.

”You’ve been great.” You said. “Thanks for putting up with this. And thanks for talking with me.”

”Sure.” Nebula said, walking behind you. You saw that she was trying to be nonchalant, but in her aura, you read that she was curious and wanted to see how it turned out. You held your sketchbook to your chest.

”No peeking!” You teased. “I’ll show you when I’m done.”

She put her hands up in an “Okay, Okay” position. “Alright.”

You smiled, then turned back around once she had left. Time to color it in.

* * *

 

You had finished coloring about an hour ago, and it looked good. They were accurate to life, and honestly, it was a pretty dang good drawing of Nebula.

You would have been proud, but you fell asleep almost as soon as you finished.

You were a perfectionist when it’s came to your drawings, and this was no exception. It had to look better than perfect. So you kept working for who even knew how long, and fell asleep before you could get a good look at the finished product.

Nebula walked in, knowing that the other Guardians would be home soon. She wanted to see your art before they got back. But as she came out, she only saw you, head on the desk.

She walked out, carefully. “Alex?”

She stood next to you and saw that you were still breathing gently. Just asleep.

Nebula looked down at what was under your hand— your sketchbook, still flipped open to the drawing of her. 

She reached out her hand to it, the recoiled. She didn’t want to look at it until it was done... but, you had worked so hard on it, and the Guardians would be back soon. She didn’t want you to get teased.

So she put a hand under the book, then slid it out from under your grasp.

As it was taken out from underneath you, you strained. Turning your head over, Nebula could see your face now, eyes shut softly, lips slightly parted as your body moved with every breath. You were in a deep sleep.

Nebula’s gaze lingered on you for just a second longer than it needed to. She looked down at the paper in her hand.

It was amazing.

Every line was so carefully drawn, every time the pen was put to paper, it was for a reason. The art was fantastic, capturing the look in Nebula’s eye and even the shine of her cybernetic arm. Nebula was impressed.

She looked back down at you, fast asleep.

For a moment, she contemplated if she should move you to your room so you could sleep peacefully. She shook off the thought, not wanting to carry you. For whatever reason, the very idea made her face heat up.

She flipped the sketchbook closed, then put it back on the table. Before she walked away, she looked down at you again.

She out a hand on your head, and patted it softly.

You stirred in your sleep, adjusting your shoulders at her touch. You smiled slightly in your sleep, then continued to rest without any more movement.

Nebula walked to her room, confused about whatever it was she was feeling.


	8. Andromeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day of your first mission. You have had no time to prepare, and your nerves are getting the best of you.
> 
> Best of luck. You’ll need it.

“An assignment?” You asked.

”Yup,” Peter sat at the helm of the ship, entering coordinates into his controls. You stood next to him, a hand on the back of the chair. “We’re recovering a stolen artifact from a relic preservary.”

”So we’re helpin’ out an old antique store, Five Suits.” Rocket snarked, taking a seat in the pilot’s chair next to Quill. “Don’t get too excited.”

”Thanks for the support, Rocket.” You said back.

After a month of being on the team, you had become less shy with the others. Even Rocket was accustomed to being able to go back and forth with snarky remarks, and everyone accepted it by now. Though you didn’t share the connection everyone else did with one another, you felt a little more integrated.

Of course, you still didn’t feel like a true Guardian. You felt like an outsider, even after a month of being in the team. This would be your first official job with them.

Your stomach flipped. A real mission.

You had prepped for this. You had prepped so much. You would spar with Gamora, Peter, Drax, and even Rocket and Groot sometimes. They would give you tips (yes, even Rocket) and help you perfect your defenses and techniques. All the while, remembering you were a pacifist. They taught you how to take down foes without hurting them. Drax showed you how to hold someone’s entire body down using only a foot and a hand. Gamora taught you how to stun your enemies. Peter helped you in piloting your jet boots.

And you did some training on your own— but it was embarrassing. It was more so things like action hero lines, and how to spawn a shield in a way that looked super cool. You would shut your door and practice lines in the mirror, suit on, and try to sound as cool as possible.

You could not wait to put that training to good use today.

Gamora came in, taking her own seat. “Are our coordinates set, Quill?”

”I’m all over it, Gammy.”

You chuckled at the nickname. Even if you didn’t feel fully comfortable yet, Peter and Gamora were completely willing to let out little bits of their affection around you, and around the others. Affectionate nicknames, smiles, they would even hold hands sometimes. It was beautiful.

You could feel it in their auras. Happy to finally let this unspoken thing become a spoken thing.

”I am ready to finally slay an enemy,” Drax huffed. “I have been getting stabby recently.”

”Yeah, I didn’t appreciate you tearin’ up my pillow yesterday.” Rocket turned back in his chair.

”I am sorry. I needed to feel my knives sink into something.”

You shuddered. “How could anyone like the feeling of putting a knife in something?”

”It is a feeling of gratification. Of beating your foes.” Drax said.

”We can’t all be like you, Five Suits.” Rocket rolled his eyes.

”I’m not saying everyone else should be like me, I’m just saying that is gross to put a knife in someone else’s body.”

”Scared of a little blood?” Rocket grinned evilly at you.

”I can’t really afford to be scared of blood.” You deadpanned, staring out into space. “As a woman.”

”What— ugh! Gah, gross!” Rocket recoiled, disgusted, like a teenage boy would when hearing about a period.

”At least what’s happening to me is natural!” You said, relishing in the discomfort of Rocket.

”Okay, ew ew! Ew! Stop!” Rocket swatted his paws at you. “I don’t want to hear about it! You’re gonna upset the other guys!”

”Its a perfectly natural and beautiful part of nature.” Drax said.

”I’m a grown-ass man, Rocket.” Peter said. You could feel his aura say he was a little bit disgusted, though.

“Fine, since it grosses Rocket out so much, I’ll talk about something else.” You made a bigger deal out of it than you should have. “What is it we’re trying to retrieve?”

”A valuable jewel.” Gamora said, tapping on her screen.

”...Is it imbued with some kind of magic power or something?” You asked.

”No.”

“Really?”

”He stole some other things, maybe one of those is magical.”

“...then why is this an ‘us’ thing?”

”Because,” Rocket said. “They’re offering _piles_ of units!” He laughed. “We’re gonna be rich! Hey, Five Suits, Maybe you could repair that broken one of yours with the cash. Or, hey, you could maybe get another suit, since you can’t get enough of ‘em. We’ll call you Six Suits!”

”I’m fine with five.” You said flatly, looking out in front of you at the planet you were approaching. This seemed to be the destination. It was white, and had multiple moons surrounding it. It was amazing.

”Alright, get ready, everyone.” Peter said, standing up. “We’re gonna roll in about 20 minutes.”

You stood, and walked up to your room. Once you got there, you dug through your bag to retrieve a suit.

You were nervous. Of course you were nervous. As you spread out the suits on your bed, you couldn’t to help but wonder if something would go wrong. Why wouldn’t it? You had no time to prepare, and this was completely out of the blue.

It wasn’t like you were incapable. You had trained. You had worked on your skills, and you thought you were... adequate. You were adequate.

You shook your head, trying to put on a more confident aura as you decided on your suit. You had to turn these nerves into excitement.

There were only two that you hadn’t tried on yet. You had stuck with the other two for your training (sans the broken suit) and even named them. The one that looked muscular and had helped you catch rats in was called “the Peacepounder” because of the brutal look to it, and the mask that had a tail was “Edgewise”, because of the pikes at the ends of your arms.

You had just called the broken one, your original, “Pacify”.

You had two left, and you wanted to save them for special occasions. This certainly merited as one, and you were excited to try out a new one. Grinning, you picked up the second one with a visor.

Instead of the visor looking like a squared pair of sunglasses, it was just one rectangle that covered your eyes. The wings on the sides were similar to Pacify’s wings, only instead of being rounded, they were squared off. This was the one you wanted to wear.

If Pacify was still working, you would have worn it instead. Once that suit was on, you truly felt like Pacify. A hero.

For the longest time, you felt like Pacify was a different person than you. Not an alter ego; a different person from you, a separate being. Emotionally strong-willed. Able to take the high road. Empathetic, and able to make even the most stoic criminal bawl his eyes out, and Pacify would take that criminal in her arms and hold them, heal them, help them become a better person.

Pacify was the ideal hero— for you, at least. Having Pacify’s true suit be out of commission made you sad, of course, but you weren’t about to turn your back on the other four suits. That would drive Rocket insane.

To you, each of the suits had a personality. Why wouldn’t they? They were each capable of different things, and all of them had wildly varying specialties. The Peacepounder was for capture and restrainment of stronger enemies— that was why it had a muscular appearance and heightened strength. Edgewise was for shutting down bad situations quickly, when someone unreasonable was endangering civilians. It was made for speed and efficiency. 

You wondered what the personality of this suit was as you clicked it on.

Instantly, the suit began to materialize. It didn’t unfold like the other suits you wore— it spread, like fire. Your body became more and more covered with a spandex-similar bodysuit. From your neck to your chest to your arms to your fingers to your stomach to your hips to your legs to your toes, you were covered with a dark navy blue. It had parts sectioned and squared off in multiple different angular shapes, and each section was a different color of blue that complimented the others around it.

The helmet spawned, a solid mask that made out none of of your facial features. It was cut so it looked like you had a sharp jawline.

Then the armor came. It shot out of where your spine was, and it was in layers. From your collarbone to the top of your stomach, ridge-like sheets of fitted metal covered you. On top of the ridges came a hard layer shaped like an X, that curved over your shoulders and crossed between your breasts.

Your arms were protected by an armor that made you look like a robot. Divets and stylized cut lines defined the suit’s limbs. At the top of your elbows, there were little squares that had glowing blue lights in them.

The legs were not covered by armor— rather, the bodysuit was your armor. It was lightweight, but you could tell that it was supposed to appear unguarded. The only sort of armor that appeared on your legs was above your knees, where the glowing square appeared again.

And there it was. Your fourth suit.

You looked in the mirror at it, and actually said “oh, wow” as you checked it out from all angles. You looked sick!

Putting a finger to your chin, you wondered what it should be called. You scrolled through the rolledex, so you could see what the suit specialized in.

_Increased emotional influence, Increased Telepathy range, Further enemy detection range, heat signature, movement detection, shields, trust aura, force field..._

This suit seemed to be more focused on the emotional aspect of Pacify rather than the restrainment part. The heightened emotional influence was the tip-off to that— maybe a more emotionally-influenced name?

Before you could decide, you heard footsteps out your door. You couldn’t wait to show this off, so you threw it open. It was Nebula.

”Nebula!” You exclaimed, voice coming out clearly through the suit. That was great, you didn’t need to roll up the visor! Maybe there was a speaker in the mouthpiece? It made your voice sound more robotic than usual. She looked at you.

”Nice suit.” She said, looking it up and down. 

“Thanks. I’m really excited about it.” You bounced on your heels a little. “You ready for this?”

”I don’t think I’m going.” Nebula said, still. “Sorry.”

”What? No-o!” You whined. “This is my first mission, I wanted to do this with you!”

”Sorry, Pacify. You have your job to do, I have mine.” Nebula walked away without another word.

You made a “pfft” noise. Same old Nebula.

Mantis poked her head around the corner. Upon seeing you in the suit, she gasped. You turned to her and rolled up your visor so she could recognize your eyes.

”Its just me, Mantis.” You cleared up for her. Seeing a lot of unfamiliar figures with their faces covered was disturbing to Mantis, but once you explained that it was you on all those suits, she had calmed down. The fact that there were five meant that you had to repeat this only one time more.

”Alex!” Mantis smiled. She held your arm. “I feel a great excitement... and a horrible nervousness from you.”

”Yeah, Well.” You brushed your arm away from her casually, so she couldn’t read deeper into your emotions. “My first mission. I’m just getting first-mission-jitters.”

”You will do wonderfully.” Mantis smiled. “And if you get horribly injured, I can help you sleep through the pain!”

”Thanks, Mantis.” You grimaced.

”Let me know if I must put you in a comatic state.”

You flipped down your visor and gave her a thumbs up.

You walked into the hub, where everyone else was gathered. Upon seeing you, Peter smiled.

”Suit number four.” He said, cocking his blasters. “What’s this one called?”

”I don’t know yet.” You shook out your arms. “I’m hoping I’ll find out today.”

”Hope you’re ready, flarknards.” Rocket cocked a blaster of his own— a big thing, almost bigger than Rocket was. “First assignment, Five Suits. How’re you feelin’?”

”Honestly? Pretty nervous. But excited.”

”Don’t get too excited, kid. You’ll excite the perp to death. Speaking of the perp,” Rocket said, “so who are we lookin’ for?”

”A scavenger, 5’11”, white male human.” Gamora said, examining her blades. “Last seen wearing a dark cloak. He’s been stealing from local artifact keepers and collectors. This is his 37th steal, so if we get him, we can prevent a lot more.”

”And get filthy rich in the process.” Rocket grinned, stowing his gun. “And I’m up for that.”

”Don’t let money be your goal, Rocket.” 

“Yeah, Rocket.” Peter said, putting up a front of _“yeah, obviously, you greedy marmot!”_ His aura said differently, as he was clearly doing this for the reward. You kept a chuckle to yourself.

”I am Groot,” Groot said, still attached to your 3DS. 

“I know you’re staying here, you never do anything anymore.”

”Anymore?” You asked. “Did you take him on missions with you when he was still a baby?”

”You wouldn’t believe the stuff Groot did as a baby.” Peter said as he put away his guns. “Groot is brutal no matter what age he is.” 

“Hope you have fun here, Groot.” You said, turning back to him.

”I am Groot.” He mouthed off back to you.

“We are landing,” Drax said, coming up form the hull. “I am am ready to bloody my knives in an almost hideous manner.”

”Almost?” You said as the ship steadied, and landed.

The hatch opened, and the five of you walked out, you looked behind you to say goodbye to Groot, but you instead saw Nebula watching you at the end of the hallway. You lifted you a hand and waved at her, friendly.

She slowly, apprehensively waved a hand too. You hardly saw it move until the hatch shut again.

Stepping down the final stair, you looked around. It was a docking port just outside a populated square. You could see tons of people and aliens walking about, similar to your time on Knowhere. You looked up at Quill.

”Alright, play it cool, guys. Don’t come out guns blazing.” He said.

”Aw, what? That’s the best part.” Rocket complained.

”We can’t blow our cover. Once we see the guy, connect with the rest of the team. We’ll come to the location, secure the dude, and then get rich.”

Gamora cleared her throat.

”I mean restore justice into a lawless galaxy.” 

“Good try, Quill.” Gamora said.

”I do my best.”

”Enough canoodling,” Rocket began to walk off. “Let’s go.” Drax followed after, reluctantly putting back his knives.

”Wait,” you grabbed onto Star-Lord’s elbow. “If we’re staying undercover, then should I take off the suit? To be more casual?”

Gamora looked around. “It’s too late now. People have seen you in it. If they see you take it off, we’ll risk our perp seeing, and he’ll know something's going on.”

”Well, what do I do?” You hissed.

”Pretend to be my robot.” Peter offered. “Like a servant-bot.”

”Are those things?”

”Probably somewhere, yeah. Sure.”

What kind of plan was this? You should have thought about removing your suit. This was a stealth mission, after all. And it wasn’t like everyone had a powersuit. Hopefully Peter’s on-the-spot idea wouldn’t come back to bite you in the butt later.

You sighed. “Alright. I’ll tag along with you, and... be a robot, I guess.”

Gamora looked at Quill, giving him a signal that said _I’ll meet back up with you here._ He nodded, then she walked off.

The two of you began to walk, and you tried your best to make yourself look as robotic as possible. You stared straight forward, pretending to be a machine of efficiency. 

“So,” You tried to keep your voice down. “Am I a sentient robot, or...?”

“Yeah, Let’s go with sentient.” Peter said quietly, talking to you through your earpiece. He walked directly in front of you, not even looking at you as to not look suspicious. “You’re my sentient servant-bot.”

Peter rounded a corner so the two of you were now in the more open part of the square. Aliens of all races wandered around you. It wasn’t crowded, but just populated enough to see that this wouldn’t be easy.

”A recent sighting had him around here less than an hour ago.” Gamora said through the communicator. “Keep an eye out.”

”Gotcha.” You said, looking around slightly. There wasn’t anyone who fit the description so far in sight. You sad no humans around except for Peter. There rest were all almost roughly hominid or animalistic, so a white human would stick out like a sore thumb.

Peter and you came across a cafe-looking building with chairs and tables outside. Peter said ‘let’s take a seat’ and you nodded. To really amp up the robot appearance, you pulled out his chair for him, and didn’t take a seat of your own. You just stood beside him, hands behind your back.

”Y’know, I though I would like having a robot servant would be great.” His voice came in through your earpiece so you could hear him more clearly. Peter looked around at others staring at him and you. “Now I just feel like a jerk.”

”Yeah, man, who takes their servant-bot to a random cafe somewhere?”

”Okay, I get your point.” Peter stared straight forward. “But you can’t take off the suit now. There’s a bunch of people staring at us.”

”I can feel it. It’s the worst.” You suppressed a shudder. You didn’t like people looking at you for this long.

Drax’s voice rang out in your ear. “I see him,” he said, voice raspy. “In the courtyard. Peter! I see you too! Look up! I am waving at you!”

You tilted your head slightly to look at Peter, who put a hand to his head. Peter looked up, as did you, and you indeed saw Drax, waving his right hand recklessly. He was blowing his cover, hard.

”Let’s move,” Quill said as he stood. You followed suit.

You saw him— a black hooded figure, even though he was trying to blend in, he was doing a very bad job. The dark stood out against the white floors and architecture. Honestly, if he wanted to blend in so bad, he should have worn some muted grays. 

No time to criticize his fashion sense. It was time to apprehend him.

You saw Gamora out of the corner of your eye, leaning against a pillar. She was watching you and Quill walk towards the figure, and you exchanged a nod.

Peter came up behind the guy and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Alright, man, we can do this one of two ways—“

The man reared back and headbutted Peter as hard as humanly possible. Peter fell to the ground, and the criminal began to run away.

”Oof— I didn’t— I didn’t even say which ways we could take!” Peter said from the ground.

You were frozen from when Peter was hit to when the criminal was about 50 feet away. But finally, your senses kicked in, and you shouted “I’ve got him! I’m in pursuit!”. Your jet boots fired, and you rocketed off once his direction. You could see him through your visor, highlighted in red so you wouldn’t lose him.

As you flew, you tried your best not to hit civilians, so you flew mostly above them. Their heads whipped around to follow your line of flight, and you were gaining on the criminal.

Your nerves were shot. You wouldn’t let them get the best of you— you were in the heat of the chase, flying like a superhero, and there was no way some light-fingered punk would be able to get the best of you.

You were flying almost directly next to him now, and when his head turned to the left to check for pursuers, the look on his face was one you would treasure for a long time.

”Hi!” You grinned. You threw your hand forward, creating a force field that the criminal slammed into. You flinched at that.

”Should have stopped while you were ahead,” You said as he began to book it in the other direction. You flew after him once more, throwing out field after field in attempt to stop him. He dodged and weaved past the warped spaces, and it was getting harder and harder to catch him. He was learning.

As you flew, you hurriedly looked through your rolledex again. Hopefully there would be something in here to take this guy down.

An option appeared that looked pretty good to you— _restraining bolas._

You weren’t entirely sure what bolas was, but you were willing to give it a shot. You selected the node, and almost immediately, the armor on your arm opened up to reveal a piece of metallic rope with rock-looking objects on either end.

”Oh,” You said to yourself. “It’s the throwy thing that catches animals!” You swung it around for a second, like a lasso, then hucked it as hard as you could at him. It caught him in the legs, and he fell to the ground.

”Yes!” You exclaimed, coming to the ground now. He was struggling to get up again, but couldn’t.

Peter and Gamora came up to you, as fast as possible. Peter was breathless. “Dude!” He exclaimed. “That was awesome!”

”I know!!” You couldn’t even except a compliment properly— you were too excited. “This is the best day of my entire life!”

Drax came up behind, knives in hand, staring at the criminal. “He has been apprehended.” He looked to you. “May I stab him now?”

”Wh— no, Drax. We’re turning him in to the proper authorities.”

People began to gather, after having watched the scene go down. They were murmuring, whispering at one another. They were talking about you.

Your face flushed, and you couldn’t help but grin. You looked over to Gamora and Peter.

Gamora smiled and nodded. “Great job, Pacify.”

You put your hands in the air, balled up into fists. “I am invincible!” You yelled.

Then you got shot in the jaw.

The civilians screamed and ran away.

It didn’t hurt— of course the suit offered fantastic protection, and it was an energy blast rather than a bullet as well. But it took you by surprise, and you stumbled backwards, falling out of a victory pose. In the chaos of shooting and screaming, you were disoriented. You fell to the ground, landing on your butt.

You had forgotten to restrain the perp’s hands.

The criminal shot at the bolas at him feet, It fizzled, and fell apart. Peter was immediately on it, clicking on his mask and firing at the man with guns of his own.

The criminal got up, and used his cloak as a shield. And apparently, he had force fields too, because with the covering of his body, no blasts penetrated the shields he put up.

Gamora ran to him with a battle cry once he dropped the field, and leapt onto him, swords in hand. She slashed at him, making a gash on his leg, but he relatiated with a scream and a missed punch.

Gamora was able to wrench his arm behind his back, but he still had a hand with a gun in it. You shot up as fast as possible and ran at him, trying to right what you did wrong.

He shot at her, but couldn’t see her, and he had missed. Thank the stars. But he had wiggled his way out of Gamora’s grasp somehow, and he was free. 

Drax ran up to him, knifes in hand. “I should have stabbed you!” He screamed as he leapt in the air, knives forward.

The criminal ran out from underneath him, avoiding Drax’s knives, but running right into a force field of yours. You enclosed it all around him, finally trapping him. 

You could finally release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

He was alone in a dome that he couldn’t break. This had to be it.

Drax got up, and saw him in an invisible prison, trying to blast at the walls. “Can I please just stab him once?”

”No, Drax!” You found your voice. 

Gamora wrung out her hands, walking over with Peter once more.

”Okay,” You breathed. “I think I have the situation under control.”

”Looks that way.” Peter said. 

“Now we just call the Nova Corps and return the artifacts.” Gamora said. “I will be thrilled to finally get this guy off my hands.”

”Great.” You grinned at her. “Me too.”

You could not wait to go back into the ship and recount your adventure with Nebula. You didn’t even have to embellish anything! The whole team did such a great job. Your first mission was a success.

”Hey, guys?” Drax was staring at the criminal now. “Why is Rocket in there with him?”

Your head whipped around, looking back forward.

It was true. Rocket was in the dome with the criminal. Not only that, but he was being held up by the scruff of him neck, with a gun to his head.

Your stomach plummeted.

The criminal seemed to yell something, but you couldn’t hear. You didn’t know if it was because of the field, or because of the ringing in your ears. Mouth dry, you looked at Gamora and Peter.

This was a disaster. How could things go this badly this quickly?

”Drop the field,” Gamora said, in a battle stance. Despite her tough exterior, you could feel that she was terrified too.

You nodded in compliance, panicked. You slowly put a hand up and dropped the field.

You could hear the criminal clearly now. “Drop all charges against me, or I shoot!”

”Whoa, Hey, Hey.” Peter said in what was trying to be a calm tone. “Hey, calm down. We’re all friends here.”

”I’ll shoot him! You hear me?!”

”Hey, Hey!” Peter said more aggressive this time. He put up a hand to signify friendliness. “It’s okay. We know. We aren’t doing anything. Just... just let us talk to our guy first.”

”Get rid of the robot.”

”Sorry?”

”The robot, get it out of here!” He pressed the barrel of the gun even harder to Rocket’s head, making him wince. “Or else!”

”Hey, hey, it’s okay. She’s not a robot. I’ll make her... take off the suit.” Peter’s head whipped to face you. “Alex.” He hissed.

You were frozen, and slowly but surely, you clicked off the suit. When the criminal saw your eyes, he growled.

”Get rid of it,” he repeated. “Get rid of the suit.”

You put it on the ground.

”Kick it away.”

You did so.

”Okay,” Peter said. “Suit’s gone. We’re calm. We’re cool. Everything’s fine. Now,” he said slowly. “Can we talk to our guy?”

”Fine.”

”Rocket, what the hell?” Peter hissed, staring at Rocket now,

“I thought I’d sneak into his bag and do some reconnaissance!” Rocket said, hanging helplessly. “But it... didn’t turn out so good.”

”Yeah, we can see that.” Gamora said.

”Drop all charges,” the criminal repeated. “Or I’ll shoot!”

”Hey, Hey! we don’t have that kind of power!” Peter said, putting his hands out further, as if he were trying to calm a raptor. “We can’t do that.”

”Then let me go.” He growled.

”Okay, Okay.” Peter tried to negotiate. “Maybe we can... strike up a deal.”

”The deal is, you let me leave.” He cocked his gun and his voice raised. “Or I shoot your furry friends here!”

Rocket and Peter chorused in cries of “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” You could only stay frozen, afraid. 

What could you do? You didn’t have your suit. You didn’t have courage. You didn’t have any means of apprehending this guy again. You were helpless without that suit. 

He was at the point where even an emotional connection couldn’t calm him down. He didn’t seem sane. Insane people couldn’t be negotiated with, at least not without proper treatment. And he certainly was in the right state of mind to be doing... anything.

Or... he probably wasn’t insane. Maybe he could be negotiated with. He was a desperate guy in a desperate situation. What would you do if you had stole a bunch of stuff, then were about to go to jail? Submit? No, he was just resisting for the sake of staying free.

You couldn’t find out, though. Much less influence him to calm down. You couldn’t read his aura from this far away. Not without your suit. 

You couldn’t do anything.

You wanted it to all stop. You wanted a break. You wanted...

Your eyes widened, and you looked to Peter. “I’ll be right back.” You said.

”What?!”

You turned to the criminal, and put up a hand. 

“Time-out.”

* * *

 You opened your eyes, and you only saw white. A white room with white walls, a white floor, and no ceiling to be seen.

This was it. You had made it.

You were in one corner of the room. All you had to do was find another. 

You didn’t have to look too hard. You heard scared and confused noises from nearby. You turned, and similar to when you first saw the criminal, the black of his cloak stood out against the white of the surroundings. You walked over to him.

He was on the floor, staring at his hands. When he saw you he had a mixture of anger and fear in his aura— which you didn’t have to read, as you saw it very clearly on his face.

”Hi!” You said. You were nervous. Of course you were nervous. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t be civil. You replaced your scared aura with one of confidence.

”Where am I?” He demanded.

”You’re not dead, if that’s what you’re thinking.” You cleared up. That was usually people’s first idea.

”Where am I?!” He repeated, standing up.

”In my little pocket of paradise. My pocket dimension.”

”Wh— buh— you better get me out of here, or—“ he reached into his holster for his gun, and was surprised to see it wasn’t there.

”No weapons allowed.” You said. “That goes for armor, too. No more force fields. Thanks for obeying the rules.” You smiled.

”I don’t need a gun to throttle you!” He yelled, his hands shooting out to do just that.

They just phased right through you.

He stumbled back in shock.

”I own this dimension.” You said, looking him dead in the eye. You had never felt cooler in your entire life, but you did your best to suppress that nerdy part of you in favor for the actually cool part. “Whatever I say, goes, and I say no throttling allowed.” You smiled genuinely at him. “You’re on my turf now.”

He took a step back, afraid of your newfound power. 

You put two fingers to your ear to try and communicate with the Guardians. Crap. Just static. You sighed. No matter how much you wanted it to happen, you couldn’t communicate through different dimensions.

”so— What?” The criminal asked. “Are you going to kill me?”

”Kill you? No. I would never.” You put a hand to your chest, offended. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Bad choice.” He threw open his bag, searching for something. His eyes widened. “Wh—“

”I kept all the stuff you stole back on the plane we were already on. I don’t tolerate petty thievery.”

”Petty?” He hissed. “Those were valuable artifacts—“

”That will be returned to their original owners.”

He sneered. “Well, What now?” He threw up his hands. “What will you do now? Keep me here, forever?”

”I’d rather not,” You shrugged. “And I don’t think you want that either.”

“Then what do you want from me?”

“To tell me why you did it. Why you stole all those artifacts.”

He scoffed. “You’re an idiot too, huh? Because they’re valuable.”

”So it’s just the money, then.”

”What else would it be?”

You shrugged once more. “I don’t know.” You said. “I expected you to have a bit more... substance.”

”Substance.” He repeated dryly. 

“Yeah, like...” you searched for an example. “I thought you would want them to go on an epic quest or something. Or, like, awaken an ancient god. To do something evil. Or something good? I don’t know you that well.”

”I wanted money,” he said slowly. “So I could become filthy rich and live in comfort.”

”You wouldn’t even donate that money to the slums in which you grew up in?” You guessed.

”I didn’t—“ he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What are you trying to accomplish?”

”Just trying to calm you down.” You smiled. “You seem pretty docile to me.”

”Docile?”

”You’re talking to me, aren’t you?”

”Only because I can’t kill you.”

”Well... I already know a lot about you.”

He lifted an eyebrow, apprehensive. “Like what?”

“Well,” You tapped your chin, taking a seat on the floor. “You’re ambitious. Unafraid to take what you want. You have stolen about 37 artifacts in total, so you’ve definitely had practice, most likely as a teen or in your early twenties, judging on your age.” You looked at him in the eye now as you talked. “You aren’t afraid to kill if you need to. You probably don’t have any family. Or accomplices, at least.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you, balling his hands into fists. “You— how did— you said there were no powers here.”

”I didn’t use my powers.”

”Then how—“

”Elementary, my dear Watson.” You smiled jokingly.

He looked even more surprised.

For a second, you were confused. Then your jaw dropped. “Wait, is your name actually Watson?!”

He nodded cautiously. “Archaus Watson.”

”Damn! Lucky guess!” You laughed. “What’re the odds, Huh?”

He hummed, and you could still feel the anger coming off of him. He wasn’t quite accustomed yet. He was looking around, seemingly searching for a way out.

”You can’t get out of here until I let you.” You said, looking at Archaus. Now that you had a name to his face, you could empathize with him a lot more.

This was what you thought the hardest part would be. Earning their trust. Getting them to be calm and comfortable around you. You had never done it before, and it certainly didn’t look like it would be easy. Not with Archaus.

“And when will that be?” He snapped.

”Until I see fit. Or if I really want to go home.” You looked away. “Well, I may just leave you here.”

”What?”

”Nah, I cant do that... as in, I literally cannot do that.” You looked back up at him now. “Two come in. Two come out.”

He grumbled. He really wasn’t having this. 

You patted the ground next to you, signaling him to sit down. He shook his head.

”Come on. Humor me.” You said.

He still refused.

”Hey.” Your voice hardened a bit. “The sooner you cooperate, the sooner you can leave. So unless you want to be a stubborn mule who’s trying to prove something, take a seat.”

He releuctantly, slowly sat down.

”There you go.” You smiled. “Now, here’s what we’re gonna do.” You clapped your hands together. “I still don’t know you that well. You don’t know me that well. How about we talk a little bit, and I’ll se what I can do.”

”And why would I do that?”

You bit your lip. “Remember that compromise you were talking about?”

He perked up at that, then recoiled. “The Star-Lord guy said you didn’t have the power to do that.”

You looked up to the ceiling, then back down at him. “I’ll put in a good word with the Nova Corps. I know them.”

You knew _of_ them, but you weren’t about to tell Archaus that.

”...Alright.” He said hesitantly. “Um. Well... my name is Archaus Watson. I... stole all that stuff so i could get rich.”

”Duh.” You said. “How about I ask you some questions. I can tell you’re nervous.”

He didn’t disagree. He just looked to the floor and nodded.

”Okay, starting out with an easy question here: were you actually going to kill the raccoon?”

”Wh— that’s not an easy question.”

”Isn’t it?” You played dumb. “It’s just a yes or no.”

”It’s not that— I—“ He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

”Why?”

”Well—“ he grunted, testing his elbows on his knees. “I had come so far.”

”What do you mean?”

”37 artifacts! I stole 37, and I wasn’t about to let you all ruin that for me.” He burst. “I was so close! So close. Do you realize how close to the port I was? I was nearly home free. But then _you_ just had to take me down with the bolas.”

”Do you blame me? I mean, you did steal _37 artifacts._ ” You said back.

He stood. “Why are you doing this?” He asked. “Why be like this to me when I’m a criminal? You were trying to kill me ten minutes ago, but now you’re talking to me like I’m your friend.”

You stood as well. “A couple things, Archaus.” You said, looking him dead in the eye. “I’m doing this because you are a person. I’m treating you like a person because you are a person. Just because you stole stuff doesn’t mean you’re the scum of the Earth... er, universe.” You corrected yourself.

He didn’t seem to believe you.

”I mean, you still stole things. And that’s bad. Obviously.” You said. “But I’m still going to treat you like a human being and talk to you.” You sat back down. “Would you rather I keep trying to apprehend you?”

He sighed, looking away stubbornly. “No.”

”Good. Take a seat, Archaus.” 

He complied even more stubbornly this time.

”Now,” You said. “On killing my friend, that’s a ‘maybe’. Good start. Next question.” You looked at him. “What were you going to do with the money.”

”Buy a nicer ship.” He grumbled. “Gamble a little more freely. Get a nice home. Maybe buy out a planet if I have some left over.”

”Glad you had a plan on that. Good investment. Next question: do you have any family.”

He stopped, scratching behind his ear. “Nah. Not anymore. Grew up in a junkyard just past—“

”So you _did_ grow up in slums!” You interrupted, vindicated. After seeing his face, you cleared your throat. “Sorry. Continue.”

”...so, yeah, no family. Stole what I could to live. Then I realized that my life is BS, then I decided to do something about it.”

”Cool motive. Still stealing.”

”Well, what would you suggest I do?”

”Get a job?” You offered. “I mean... that’s what a majority of people do.”

”And do what?”

”Bag groceries. Wash dishes. You don’t automatically start at the top, dude. You work your way up.”

He scoffed. “No one would want to hire someone like me.”

”Did you even try?”

”No.”

”God! For a master thief, you’re kind of an idiot!”

He growled. “What did you just say?”

”No, hey! You don’t get you be mad at me.” You said, standing. “You didn’t have to be arrested if you just got over yourself and got a job!”

”And live a life of nothingness?” He scoffed. “Of working a 9 To 5 job?”

”Dude,” You hissed. “That’s what I was doing up until a month ago! And you know how I got here? I was capable, I wasn’t arrogant, and I didn’t steal stuff. You’re talking about some boring life of nothing, of doing the same thing every day and having no freedom. Do you know where that happens?! Jail!”

You stopped yelling for a moment. Your voice richoted around the room.

Archaus stopped. He knew you were right. He could feel it, but was too proud to admit it.

You sighed, and sat back down. “Sorry I yelled.”

”...it’s fine.” He sat back down with you.

The air was thick with tension, and Archaus rubbed his eyes.

He stopped for a moment, considering something. “Do... do your friends know where you are?”

”Specifically?” You said. “No. But I do hope they know I’m not dead or something.”

”Why would they think that?”

”Our bodies are unconscious right now,” You exclaimed “on that plane. The dimension we were last in. But our consciousness are here. That’s why we have no possessions.”

He nodded, not really understanding. 

“To answer your question, yes. They know where we are. We’re both passed out on the floor.”

”Great.” He grumbled.

”And if I’m correct, the fact we’re passed out probably means that you’ve been cuffed or restrained in some way, and that my teammates are freaking out.”

”They wouldn’t know what’s going on?”

”No. I’ve never done this before.”

He put his face in his hands. “I’ve been stealing for 19 years,” he groans. “And I’ve been caught by someone who’s hardly that old.”

”Hey, I’m twenty.” You said. You had a young face, so you were used to this. “And anyway— the suit really helped. And the power to access another dimension really gave me an edge. So... don’t beat yourself up, Watson. I’m sure you’re a great thief.”

It was odd, praising him for stealing stuff. You had to get a good connection though, and if this was the way to do it, you wouldn’t argue.

“Anyway,” You said. “I could let you go now, if you want.”

He groaned. “Please. Spare me from any more of this.”

”I could,” You repeated. “That doesn’t mean I will, or even that I should.”

He sighed, a deep, long sigh.

”I will let you go, but let me just say some things before I do.” You faced him. 

He kept staring forward, and you snapped your fingers. “Hey.” You said, stern. “Look at me.”

He looked at you reluctantly.

”I don’t know you, but I can make some guesses about you.” You said, staring him in the eye. “I can guess that you’re very proud, and you think highly of yourself.”

He scoffed. “How smart.”

”But I can also guess,” you continued. “That you enjoy attention. And people talking to you.”

”What makes you say that?”

”It’s not often that a criminal, when put in a box with someone, opens up so willingly.” You said, “especially against the person that took them down.”

Archaus looked away.

”You’ve been lonely this whole time. The combination of your arrogance and law breaking has lead to you becoming lonely. It’s been so long since someone’s talked to you like this,” You said softly, “isn’t it?”

He wouldn’t look you in the face.

”You know,” you continued. “You remind me of someone. Someone who I... I love. A lot.” Nebula’s face appeared in your mind, and you were almost embarrassed but you talk about this with such a perfect stranger— a criminal, no less. But you could feel him opening up too, and this was the final stretch into having him trust you.

”She was also closed off. And she didn’t let people know anything about her. And now... she’s surrounded by good people, because she opened up. It’s hard, and it feels demoralizing...” you almost got choked up. “But she’s doing it. She’s trying so, so hard, and...” you sniffed. “I’m so proud of her.”

You heard Archaus sniff too.

You smiled gently, and put a hand on his shoulder. His aura was one of regret.

”Hey.” You whispered. “It’s okay.”

You didn’t force him you look at you. This was probably the first time he had cried in awhile.

”Let it all out, big guy. Come on.” You chuckled a bit, crying a little yourself.

And he cried. He cried a lot.

After he cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes, he huffed. “Whoof.” He breathed, hard. “I...” he cleared his throat again.

”Don’t apologize.” You said. “You feel better?”

He nodded. “Yeah... I... Yeah.”

”Okay, Good.” You stood up. “Because I’m gonna take us back now.”

”You are?” He stood as well. “Am I free to go.”

You laughed. “No! You stole a bunch of priceless stuff!” You looked at him, a little jokingly. “Sorry, man. Come on.”

To your surprise, he chuckled too. “Yeah... I don’t know what I was expecting.”

”Tell you what. I think you can get out early on good behavior.”

”Thanks, er... I never got your name.”

”Oh!” You exclaimed. “Sorry! Call me Pacify.”

Before he could say anything, you were already back.

* * *

 You opened your eyes, and you were on the ground.

Drax was staring you in the face. When he saw you woke up, his face split into a grin and he laughed loudly.

”She’s not dead!” He exclaimed, turning around. “She’s alive !”

You sat up, rubbing the back of your neck. It was always uncomfortable, getting re-adjusted to your body. You looked to where Drax was looking and saw Peter and Gamora over Archaus’ now conscious body, which was cuffed.

Peter’s jaw dropped and he ran over. “Alex! Good God, we though you died!”

”Rocket had already tried to steal your suit as soon as you hit the ground.” Gamora said, holding your visor. “But I got it.”

”She never wrote a will!” Rocket said as an excuse. “We couldn’t have known what she wanted.”

”If I died and you took my suits, I would get reincarnated and find you as soon as I could walk.” You said, stretching your arms.

”What happened?” Peter asked.

”I took Archaus and I to my little pocket dimension.” You said. “We talked it out a little.”

”Archaus?”

”Yeah, that’s his name. Archaus Watson.”

”Okay, that’s great, but why didn’t you say anything?!” Peter asked, seeming genuinely worried. “We all freaked out! We thought you were dead!”

”We also thought Archaus was dead.” Drax said. “I attempted to stab him, but the others held me back.

”Sorry,” You said. “He was holding a gun to Rocket’s head! I panicked!”

Speaking of, Archaus groaned from a few feet away. His hands and feet were restrained, unable to move. Gamora whipped her head around, and began walking towards him. 

“Hey, Wait!” You exclaimed. “Before you maim him— don’t. Just don’t maim him. He’s chill.”

“...what happened while you were gone?”

”We talked about feelings. Well, I talked about what he was probably feeling. Turns out Archaus is kind of a lonely dude. I told him not to be so arrogant all the time, we cried, that’s about it.”

She raised an eyebrow at you.

”Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, because I stayed out long enough for you to keep him restrained.” You smiled. “So yay for that!”

”Yay indeed,” Peter looked up at the sky, shielding his eyes. “Cops are finally here.”

You looked up and saw a star-shaped ship coming down. It landed in a large, empty part of the square. Two figures in armor came out, holding guns. Peter directed their attention to Archaus. “There he is. There's the guy.”

The two picked him up from under the arms, dragging him to the ship. He looked back at you with a sad look on his face.

”Hey, boys!” You said, not really knowing how to get the guard’s attention. They stopped and turned. You cleared your throat. “Go easy on him.”

The two exchanged looks, and kept walking up to the ship. It was futile, a simple request wouldn’t do a lot. He had stolen 37 artifacts from various places— he wasn’t not getting off the hook that easy. You sighed, rubbing your eyes.

“You Alright?” Gamora said.

”I am so tired.” You said. “I need a nap or something.”

Peter exhaled. “Yeah, after seeing what looked like you dying, I think I might need to go to sleep too.”

”Wh— Hey!” Rocket yelled at the ship as it took off. “Where’s our money?!”

”We aren’t getting it right this second, Rocket.” Peter said as he stood up. “They’ll wire it to us in a little bit.”

Rocket grumbled. “They had better. I had my eye on a new photon blaster.”

You stood, immeasurably exhausted. You hoped you didn’t have to do this exact same thing every single time.

However... part of you hoped you did. When you did this, you truly felt like a hero. You imagined that this is what Pacify was really like, all the time. Having heart-to-hearts with people who thought they were bad, and helping them realize that they were just people who had done bad things. You loved that idea, the idea everyone could learn and try again.

You thought about what Archaus would do if he ever got out of jail. Maybe get a job.

You sighed as the five of your began your trek back to the ship.

Peter opened the door to the main hub of the ship, where Nebula was sitting, sharpening her swords. She looked up upon hearing you all come in, then turned back calmly to her swords

”So,” she said. “How was it?”

* * *

 

After one very, very long story later, Nebula was caught up.

As you were talking, the Guardians would interject with bits from their persepective— like how Gamora screamed when your eyes rolled back in your head and you just collapsed like a rag doll, or how Drax’s immediately went to stab Archaus the moment he hit the ground. It was a tense, hilarious story that was new for everyone.

Of course, you left out the specifics of when you were talking about Nebula and how much you loved her. The two of you were nowhere close to there yet.

You finished your tale, grinning expectantly. “I wish you came, Nebula. It was amazing.”

”I’m glad I didn’t,” She said. “I most likely would have stabbed him the second you passed out.”

”As would I,” Drax said. “If not for your sister. We could have stabbed him together.”

The two high-fived to Gamora’s chagrin.

”So, Five Suits.” Rocket said. “If you’re done with your little tale, I was wonderin’ what you’re gonna call that fourth suit.”

”Really? You were wondering that?”

”I was hoping I could call it ‘mine’ once you had supposedly died, but you let me down in that department.” Rocket rolled his eyes.

You looked at the visor in your hands. You weren’t entirely sure what you wanted to call it. Heck, half of the battle you hadn’t even used it. But you didn’t want it to just remain nameless. So you thought about what helped you really would the battle.

It wasn’t so much fighting or incapacitating that got you where you were now— heck, you had never “fought”. All your turmoils were emotional, in life or on the battlefeild. Your physical powers had no bearing on how strong you were. In fact, you weren’t very physically strong. But you were good with talking.

It wasn’t force that coaxed Archaus to open up. And even though you were in a circumstance where you could control everything around you, it was his choice entirely if he wanted to listen. He didn’t storm off somewhere and pout until the end of time. It was because you were willing to put in the time and speak to him as a person person that you were able to win.

It was also teamwork. The support of the Guardians, the past experiences of Nebula that made you accustomed you stubbornness, the training you had— that all weighed into your work.

But what really helped you win was your love for Nebula .

It was horrible, and corny, but when you really thought about it, all this happened because of your love for Nebula. You never would have been able to understand Archaus if not for her. Who knew how long you would be in there with him if you hadn’t opened yourself up about your love for her?

Thats what this suit meant. The support you had for Nebula, and the support Nebula had for you.

You looked at the suit and smiled. “I’ll  call it Andromeda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this didn’t have a lot of Nebula in it but it’s leading up to something I promise!!


	9. Take a Photo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You snap a photo of Nebula.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a crack chapter,,,,,, you can choose whether this is part of the canon or not

You took a picture.

It was of the inky blackness of space, that reached so infinitely into the distance. Dotted with stars and swathed occasionally with colors of purple, you admired the absolute feeling of it surrounding you. And it really did surround you; you sat in the ship’s bridge, in the pilot seat, careful not you touch any controls. The window reached around you, as if you were in a bubble. The majesty and complete emptiness of your surroundings was a sight to behold. 

You look at your phone and immediately scowled. It looked awful.

It was similar to when you saw the moon back on Earth, and you wanted to capture it quickly. So you took a picture on your phone. It always came out as a white pinprick in a construction-paper Black sky.

It never looked good. But you kept taking pictures.

”What’re you doing?” Nebula asked from behind you.

You turned around, smiling. “Taking pictures. But they really don’t compare.”

”Pictures?” Nebula asked.

”Yeah. Photographs.”

”I know what pictures are. I was just clarifying.”

”Right,” You said, turning back around. You wanted to hide the red on your face. “Sorry.”

Nebula took a seat next to you, in the second pilot seat. She stared out into space as well.

”Awesome, isn’t it?” You said, trying to strike up conversation.

”It never does get old.” Nebula responded, still staring straightforward.

You hummed.

”On my planet,” Nebula continued after a brief pause. “We could see the stars so clearly. Almost constantly.”

”Lucky.” You laughed. “In New York, you would be fortunate to see the moon at midnight. There was too much smog to see stars well.”

Nebula looked at you. “Have you ever seen the stars like this before?”

”Never.” You shook your head. “Only in books. But now it’s real.” You smiled.

Nebula’s gaze lingered, and you lifted your phone up to take a picture. The flash went off, and you groaned. Looking at the product was disappointing. There was a glare on the window, and you could see Nebula’s reflection. Not a single star.

”Dang.” You whispered, putting your phone down. 

“Not what you wanted?”

”Never is. Pictures can’t compare to the real deal.”

You turned your head to look at her, and she was still staring you dead in the eye.

It was an experience.

Her eyes were pools of ink, so dark and deep they felt like black holes, drawing you in. Billowing smoke that drowned obsidian and jet, nebulous eyes that reflected the dark celestial bodies right beside you. There was a universe, if only you turned your head forward, but you were distracted by Nebula’s eyes. You truly knew what it meant to stargaze.

Intense. Unwavering. They didn’t move, nor blink. Just stared. You almost couldn’t handle the pressure.

So you raised your phone and took a picture.

At the look on her face, you laughed. You looked down to your phone and saw Nebula’s face again— looking a little confused. She still maintained that hard, dark stare; but you could see here face begin to soften the moment you raised your phone. Her lips were parted, and eyebrows only beginning to furrow.

You gulped, almost feeling the need to tug at your collar. Nebula was _very_ photogenic.

”What was that?” Nebula asked sharply.

”I took your picture.” You turned your phone around and showed her. “You look good.”

She took the phone from your hand, gently, and observed her face. She stroked her chin slightly, her face seeming to say “is that what I look like on camera?”

She shoved your phone back at you. “Don’t take pictures of me without warning.” She growled.

”Right, Yeah— I’m sorry.” You apologized. “I should have asked. Do you... want me to delete it?”

”No,” Nebula said hurriedly, standing up. “I don’t care.”

She then made a swift exit. You watched her go, as she tried to keep a low profile while she walked up the stairs. You turned in your seat, unfooled—

Nebula was self-conscious of pictures of her. That was adorable. She needn’t be, of course, because she was beautiful. It still made you think.

* * *

 

Over the next few days, you noticed an odd trend.

Whenever you took out your phone, whether to play a game, put on music, or show someone a photo you took, Nebula would freeze if she were in the room t the same time. Not in a pose— but she would make herself look more ‘presentable’.

If she were casually drinking some coffee and you took out your phone, she would sit up straighter, arch her back, and take longer sips. If she were just standing there, she would just put her hip a bit more than usual and look away from you, giving you a side profile.

She was posing. She wanted to look good on camera.

Sometimes the other Guardians noticed. One time, Nebula froze when you had your phone up, thinking you would take a picture. Peter was sitting right next to her, and smiled as well. You chuckled. You were only putting on some music.

Once, Gamora even said something when you actually were taking a sneaky picture out of sight. Nebula was resting her elbows on the table, with her chin in her hands, a pose she didn’t do often.

”Nebula,” Gamora asked. “Why are you sitting like that.”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” was her response.

You never really called out Nebula for it. It was cute, and if it made her comfortable, then you would let her.

Besides, you got a couple of good looking “candids” out of it.


	10. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You listen to some music with Nebula and have a conversation with Rocket.

A few days had passed since your first mission, and you were still relishing in your first victory.

It wasn’t like you were openly bragging or anything— you just had a spring in your step ever since you brought Archaus to justice. It wasn’t exactly as you pictured, with fireworks spelling out your name or whatever, but it felt pretty great. You could get used to a life like this.

Did the others feel like this when they completed their first missions as well? All those years ago, when Peter took someone down with a gun his first time, did he feel this great?

You thought it had something to do with your minor identity complex and wondering what it really meant to be an alter ego, but you weren’t a therapist or anything, so you didn’t know.

This spring in your step was noticed by the Guardians, and your least favorite Guardian pointed it out.

”You seem real chipper,” Rocket said as you were humming along to some music.

You pulled out an earbud that was playing “Bad” by Michael Jackson, a real contrast to how you actually felt. “Huh?” You asked.

”I said, you’re awfully chipper.”

”Well, Yeah.” You paused your  music and gave Rocket your full attention. “I’ve just been feeling good lately.”

”Why’s that? You get a new suit or somethin’?”

”I don’t only care about suits, Rocket.” You said. “I’m happy because I feel like I did a good job on my first mission.”

”Don’t get a big head,” Rocket said, hopping off his chair. “Beginners luck.”

You hesitated.

”You know,” you said, looking down at your phone. Your voice was almost faltering a bit. “I saved your life.”

Rocket turned his head slightly, back still facing you. “Yeah?”

”You were at gunpoint.”

”You wanna get to the point,” he asked. “Or do you want you rub it in even more?”

”I think... I wish you would stop being like this to me.”

”Don’t feel special.” Rocket waved you off. “I’m like this to everyone.”

You didn’t have anything to say.

You felt like Rocket... owed you something. Well, he didn’t owe you anything, per se, you just felt he should have a little more gratitude from being saved from gunpoint. It was frustrating, to say the least. He still ragged on you as if nothing had changed, and that was the one thing that had gotten you down.

You wanted Rocket’s respect, as much as you hated to think it. He was a member of the team, and you treated him as such, but he hardly gave you the time of day.

Even though you were an empath, you couldn’t CONTROL how you felt. Sure, you could put up a masking aura, but that was it— a mask.

You didn’t want to want Rocket’s respect. You could live without it. It just put a bad taste in your mouth when he was still rude to you, even after what had happened.

Maybe he was hurt. Rocket was a very proud person, who didn’t like to be put in his place. Maybe that’s what had him so bitter.

But that wasn’t an excuse. Even when you told him expressly to stop, he just kept on going.

”All right,” you stood. “I won’t.”

You swiftly made your way to your room, your good mood ruined.

You plugged your earbuds back in, trying to salvage how good you felt before. Rocket wasn’t going to ruin this. Not this too.

You closed your eyes and lay on your bed, listening to a different song now— It’s Now or Never by Elvis.

* * *

 When you opened your eyes, your playlist had cycled through all most all your songs. You had just lay there for an insurmountable period of time, not really thinking. Almost in a comatic state.

You sat up, rubbing your eyes. You didn’t feel rested, so you most likely didn’t take a nap. Or maybe you just had a restless sleep. Whatever the case, you felt a little better than before.

You pulled out your earbuds and stood, then walked out of your room. The main hub was empty, and from what you could see, everyone’s doors were shut.

Were they all asleep?

Curious, you walked down the other hallway. All the doors were closed, and the lights were out. No one seemed to be awake.

You weren’t sure what to do. It was like waking up in the middle of the night, feeling as if you were alone.

You didn’t really want to go back into your room, so you went into the ship’s hull, maybe to just stare into space for awhile. You rarely got truly quiet moments like this anymore, when everything was still, and you were reminded of your empty apartment. 

Taking a seat in the pilot’s chair, you looked out in front of you. It never did get old.

You put your earbuds back in and searched for an appropriate song to stare into the universe to. “Power of Two” by the Indigo Girls sounded about right to you.

You closed your eyes and listened to the lyrics, clearing away the negative memories of Rocket’s belittling.

_So we’re okay, we’re fine, Baby I’m here to stop your crying. To chase all the ghosts from your head, stronger than the monster beneath your bed._

It was a nice song, one that gave you real hope as you stared out into the stars. Their voices were beautiful, and the song itself was one that you like to really listen to. Not put on in the background and tune out, but actually focus on. You knew the words by heart.

Space was beautiful. It always had been. You thought it always was. After years of staring at the stars and reading books about the vaccuum of the void miles above you, you were in it. You were part of it.

It was quiet moments like this where you really got to reflect on where you were... and what you were doing. Guarding this Galaxy. Helping people. You were a real member of the team, no matter what your insecurities said.

You sighed. You thought if you closed your eyes again, you would wake up. That this would all be a dream.

It wasn’t. You thanked your lucky stars for that.

The people around you were fantastic. Positive. They were a real family, and in a way, you were becoming part of that family. It was nearly a month and a half, now. And you already felt at home.

You didn’t miss Earth as much as you used to. You had things here that Earth didn’t offer.

Like love.

You thought about Nebula, face turning red even though you were alone. You really did like her. It was too late— heck, you crossed the point of no return a long time ago. You really loved her. You were crushing on her, hard, and you couldn’t do anything about it it at this point.

She was a being who was just learning how to emote and express her feelings. A powerful being. You didn’t know what her species was, but if everyone was like her, you wouldn’t want to leave that planet. She wasn’t really the kind of girl you would find yourself crushing on. Sure, you liked tough girls, but killer of thousands had never crossed your radar until now.

You had a lot of conflicting feelings on Nebula. Like waves crashing into one another from every side, different waters merging until they all blended into the same color and foam. Love, fear, pride... it all responded in you when you thought about her.

Not to mention her spotty past. Killing thousands, being raised as a murder machine; however, you tossed away these thoughts. Nebula didn’t have control over her life. She didn’t choose to kill indiscriminately. She was raised by her corrupt ass of a father figure to kill so she’s could survive. And of course, you believe everyone deserved a second chance.

 _A relationship with me could be that second chance,you couldn’t help but think._ You blushed harder.

You wondered how it felt to hold her hand. To hug her. To run a hand through her hair—

You stopped, laughing aloud, realizing your mistake.

Power of Two continued to play.

You hoped something could happen between the two of you. It was very unlikely that Nebula even felt the same way.

You had this problem when you crushed. With the way you were, there were layers. You had to know if they were even gay, and after that distinction, that eliminated half of your options. You had to then know if they then liked you in that way, then you had you either wait for them to say something, or work up the courage to do something.

The three never lined up.

And now, there was an extra layer. Nebula was an alien. Even if, stars aligned, everything worked out, what would you do then?

Your face turned red. Also, her sister was on board. Also also,if anything went badly, and she didn’t return your affections, you were stuck.

Which circled back around to you having to come out to everyone else on board if the two of you did enter a relationship.

You rubbed your eyes. This was complicated.

_Smarter than the tricks played on your heart, we’ll get them together then take them apart. Adding the total of a life that’s true, multiply your life by a power of Two._

You weren’t sure what to do. You were stuck.

You opened your eyes, and Nebula was sitting next to you.

”JE—sus!” You jumped, yanking your earbuds out of your ears. Nebula really did have a habit for sneaking up on you during inopportune moments. “Nebula! Geez!”

”Sorry,” Nebula smirked a little. “You looked so comfortable. I didn’t want to wake you.”

Your stomach flipped. You were already thinking about her, and now she was talking to you like this...

”I was,” You said, pausing your music. “Until you scared me.”

”Your loss.” Nebula turned back forward, looking out into space. “Couldn’t sleep?”

”I had a nap earlier. I think.” You yawned. “I’m not that tired.”

”Me either.” Nebula examined her nails. “But I’m glad you were awake.”

”Why?”

”I have... some questions.”

”Questions?” You turned in your seat.

”About human culture.” Nebula replied.

”Ooh, Nebula! Ever so curious.”

“If you make fun of me, I’m leaving.”

”Don’t worry,” you acted a little more serious now. But like, jokingly serious. “I won’t. Ask away.”

Nebula narrowed her eyes at you. “I’m serious.”

”I know!” You exclaimed. “Just ask. The tension is killing me.”

”Well,” Nebula scratched her chin. “I was wondering... what do humans do... recreationally?”

”Recreationally?” You asked. “Like hanging out?”

”If that’s what you call it.”

You thought. “Well, I didn’t really hang out with friends much, so I am not really the expert, but... I guess watch movies? Eat together?”

”Your idea of fun... is eating communally.”

”Yes.”

”The nights we do that here are my least favorites.” Nebula snarked.

”If we could choose who we are with, I’m sure you would enjoy it more.” You chuckled.

”Unfortunately.” Nebula said back.

”Ha. There’s also games... or sports, but I hate those... so yeah, I think the big thing is mostly movies or eating.”

She looked forward. “Movies... and food.” She nodded. “Alright.” She seemed satisfied with those answers.

”Why?” You cocked your head.

”Just curious,” she said, standing.

Something in you said it wasn’t just curiosity.

”Hey, you’re leaving already? You just got here.”

She looked back down at you. “Did you... want me to stay longer?”

You gulped. “Well, kind of, Yeah. It gets lonely staring into the endless void of space on your own.”

Nebula squinted her eyes at you a little, and slowly sat back down.

“Alright.”

”Cool.”

You smiled at her. You pressed play on your music, put an earbud back into your ear, and handed her the free one.

”It’s a good song,” you said. “I promise.”

”That’s what you said about the others,” she scowled. But she took it anyway.

Nebula put it in her ear and listened. The voices and soft guitar seemed to... almost surprise her? It was an odd look on her face, as if there was a puzzle in front of her, and she was trying to solve it while also still being shocked that the puzzle was even there.

You forgot about space and watched her face instead.

This was something you noticed— no matter where you were or what amazing thing was around you, you would always choose to look at Nebula if you had the chance. You were drawn to her, like the two ends of a magnet.

That was love, you guessed.

 _So we’re okay,_ the music sang. _We’re fine. Baby, I’m here to stop your crying. To chase all of the ghosts from your head, stronger than the monster beneath your bed._

You watched Nebula’s face sink into a submission, almost, allowing the music to take over her. You didn’t even notice her shoulders were tense until she untensed them. She sunk in her chair and released a breath, her fingers gently curling around the armrests. Her breathing was calm, and you could see her chest move with every inhale and exhale. Her lips parted just the smallest bit as she breathed.

You watched this release with awe in your eyes, the music letting her go.

It was beautiful.

You yourself turned in your seat, closing your eyes and releasing your muscles the way Nebula did. You sunk down in your chair as well. And, before you knew it, you were singing along to the music.

 _“Smarter than the tricks played on your heart,_ you sang. _we’ll get them together then take them apart. Adding the total of a life that’s true, multiply your life by a power of Two.”_

You opened your eyes, and she was looking at you again.

“How do you know the words so well?” She asked.

It was a normal enough question. But it made you breathless. 

“Well,” You exhaled. “I listen to it a lot.”

Nebula didn’t get to respond, as Rocket appeared on the top stair that lead into the bridge. “Hey,” He barked, ruining the mood.

You turned, face flushing red now at the surprise. Nebula was back to her tense self, and already had the earbud out of her ear.

She stood, and walked by Rocket, Head high, without explanation.

The shock wore off moments after she was just far enough so that you couldn’t read her aura.

You wanted to curse. That was one of the closest moments you had with Nebula before, and Rocket ruined it. You turned back around in the chair, upset now. Of course he had to choose now to wake up and come maintain the ship. Literally any other moment would have been fine.

Rocket walked over, and you expected him to bark at you too. But for some reason, he didn’t.

He just sat in the chair next to you, and let out a breath.

It was quiet for a little while. Part of you wanted to leave, just to be out of the tension, but the other part was too stubborn to give him the satisfaction of leaving him alone.

”Hey, listen.” He started.

This made you perk up a bit. Rocket had never talked to you like this.

”I...” He sighed, facing forward. “Sorry.”

”For what?” You asked.

”For... for bein’ such an a-hole all the time.” He grunted.

”It’s fine,” You shrugged. “It’s how you are to everybody.”

”I’m inclined to disagree.” Rocket said, claws still on the controls. “I’m... mostly just like that to you.”

”Where is this coming from?”

”I—“ Rocket started angrily. “Look, do you want me to apologize to you or not?”

”I do!” You exclaimed, just as loudly. “I’m just wondering why!”

”I feel bad, that’s why!” He ran out of steam at the end of the sentence, but tried to keep trucking. “Just watching you... mopin’ around made me feel bad!”

”Moping around?”

”Always whining to Nebula of all people,” Rocket said with disgust. “If anything, I thought it would be to you and Mantis.”

”Me and— Mantis?” Of course you were close friends with Mantis, and you liked her plenty, but she wasn’t one you could exactly share secrets with. “Why?”

”Because you’re a lesbian who likes her!” Rocket exclaimed.

You got quiet. Very quiet.

Even Rocket seemed to notice what he did wrong, and slunked back. “I...”

”You’re half right.” You said bitterly, turning your head so he couldn’t see your face. 

He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry—“

”You have a lot to be sorry about, don’t you?”

”Don’t get so mad! Stop being so sensitive!”

”You’re doing an awful lot of telling me what to do for someone who was going to apologize.”

Rocket groaned. “You are impossible to talk to.”

Your head whipped around to face him. ”Wh— you’re the one that’s always calling me ‘Five Suits’ and making me feel useless!”

”Its ‘cause you’re always on a high horse and I wanna knock you down a few pegs!”

”I am not on a ‘high horse’. If anything, I feel like I don’t belong here.”

Rocket didn’t have anything to say to that one.

Now you really wanted to curse. But instead, you decided to explain.

”I’m not talking bad about you with Nebula,” you said. “I’m just talking with her. Normally.”

Rocket scoffed. “She doesn’t do small talk.”

”We aren’t talking about small things.”

Rocket was quiet again.

”And I didn’t ask for all five of the suits. They were given to me, and I accepted them. Because like you said,” you looked at him. “It’s not like a pacifist can do a lot in battle. I don’t feel like I really belong on the team.”

Still no response.

”And yes, I am a lesbian.” You crosses your arms. “You ruined the surprise.”

”I’m...” Rocket sighed. You were right back at the beginning. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.”

”No, I— ugh.” Rocket shuddered. “I mean it.”

You looked at him. You didn’t really believe him— so you decided to consult his innermost emotions.

You were shocked when you were met with sincere regret.

It wasn’t deep, but it was deep enough you knew this wasn’t him just getting out of the way. But it wasn’t exactly eating him up or keeping him awake at night. He just... felt bad. 

He was apologizing to you actually out of the goodness of his heart.

You furrowed your brow and looked him in the eye.

He squinted. “Why’re you.. staring at me like that?”

You chuckled and shook your head. “Everyone forgets I’m an empath.”

He looked embarrassed, as if you had just seen him naked. He shielded his eyes from you as if that would hide him. “Stop doing that,” he said. “God, I can feel you poking around in my brain.”

”That’s not how it works.” You chuckled again. “But I appreciate your apology.”

Rocket removed his hand from his face and looked back up at you, just for a second, then scoffed. “Good. Glad I got that over with.”

”Is there... anything else?” You knew he was forgetting some things.

He flinched. “Yeah, actually..” he brushed his paws on his pants. “Yeah, there is.”

”What?”

”Well,” Rocket’s voice twinged. “I might have told Nebula... that you’re a lesbian.”

You blinked. You stayed silent for a moment, just watching Rocket squirm.

You weren’t a sadist, you were a pacifist, so you certainly didn’t like seeing people in pain. But seeing Rocket get uncomfortable under your scrutinizing eye was one of the most vindicating feelings you had ever felt.

”Its fine,” you smiled after he couldn’t take it anymore. “She already knew.”

Rocket exhaled, as if he were just released from being suffocated. “Geez! You scared me, Five Suits!”

You returned to being serious. “Did you tell anyone else.”

”No.”

”Thank god.” It was your turn to relax. “So... What do you think?”

”What?”

You may not have liked Rocket that much, but even after the apology, you still wanted his respect. “About me being gay?”

”I don’t care.” Rocket scoffed, turning around.

That was the response you hated the most, because when you looked in their aura, they did care. Most often, they cared a lot. But it relieved you to no end when you saw that Rocket actually did not care.

You exhaled. “Good... is that all?”

”Hm?”

”To confess.”

Rocket sucked in air through his teeth. “It’s... not.”

”Oh, boy.”

”You know... the suit that broke?”

”My _favorite_?”

“Yeah... uhm... I put an override bug on it to make it conk out like that.”

You groaned. “You’re on real thin ice, Rocket.”

”You can fix it! It’s fine!” Rocket looked forward, but you could feel his aura. It was genuinely worried.

You released a breath, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah.” You said. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Rocket lifted an eyebrow at you. “You’re not... pissed or anything?”

”I was...” You smiled. “But then I remembered my dog.”

Rocket blinked at you. “What?”

”Rocket, can I tell you about my dog real quick?”

“I mean... I think I have to hear about the dog that saved my life.”

”On Earth, I had a dog.” You said. “His name was Cotton, and he was the nastiest dog I knew.”

Rocket visibly wondered why you were telling him this. You gave him a look that said “just wait.”

”Cotton was awful. He was attention seeking, he would tear up clothes, he was just a mess. But I had to remember—“ you looked at Rocket. “He was a puppy. It was just what he knew. Getting mad at him wouldn’t solve anything, so... I treated him with love.”

“And in this story...” Rocket said, disgusted. “I’m the dog.”

”You’re the dog.” You pet his head.

Rocket snarled, and bit at you. You drew your hand away quickly and swatted his snout. He let out an “ow!”

”Don’t try that.” You said. “I know how to deal with animals.”

”I thought you said you treated them with love!” He rubbed his snout. “And I thought you were a pacifist.”

”Tough love. You’re fine.” You smiled at him.

To your surprise, after a moment, he smiled too.

”Hey, listen.” Rocket said, looking forward. “I... never thanked you. From saving me from gunpoint. So... thanks, Alex. I owe you one.”

Your eyes lit up. “Pardon?”

”Huh? What.”

”You just said my name.”

”What? No. I said Five Suits.”

”No, you didn’t. You called me Alex.”

”I said Five Suits.”

”You didn’t.”

”It has the same number of syllables.”

You smiled at him, then stood up.

”Well,” You said. “If I’m going to be Five Suits... you’re gonna have to fix that broken one for me.”

Rocket groaned. “Not right now. I’m busy.”

”Sure you are, Cotton.” You grinned widely and ran into the hub of the ship now, laughing.

”Don’t call me that!”


	11. Sisterly Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nebula has a chat with her Sister about one thing they have in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Nebula perspective!! Yay

Nebula stared at her candle.

She had found herself doing that a lot, recently. She didn’t have many places to call her own space on the ship, and the only place she could get any semblance of privacy was her own room. And in that room, there were few things in it. Which meant very few activities.

Which often meant that Nebula would stare at a candle for an indeterminate amount of time.

It wasn’t like she didn’t have better things to do. But she always found herself coming back to that candle, lighting it, breathing in the scent it gave off.

Or, as she was doing today, just looking at it.

She did it mostly when she wanted to think. The calm blue color of the candle was... soothing, a little bit, it allowed her to focus, and really process what had been going on in her life.

The past few days had been... eventful. Alex was truly coming into her own on the team, and Nebula could feel it coming off of her. The pride. The excitement. Sometimes even the nervousness when she came around, which Nebula often felt from others when she was near.

No matter how sensitive she acted, she was still Nebula. Stoic. Quiet. Able to destroy you at any moment.

Nebula stared at her candle. The wick was lit, and she watched the flame.

As well as Alex coming into her own on the team, Nebula was changing too. She was becoming more... open. Willingly vulnerable. Allowing herself to feel more things, express more emotions, let herself think about her feelings instead of bottling them up now.

She didn’t often talk about her feelings, even with Alex. It was a double-edged sword. Talking about how she felt sometimes made her feel good, but also sometimes made her feel bad. Emotions were complicated, and as much as it made her sound like a deadbrained Neanderthal, she didn’t like them.

She was... new to positive emotions.

Of course, she had felt plenty of emotions before. Anger at her sister for betraying her as a child. Vindication at the idea of killing Thanos. Even forgiveness to Gamora after she had asked her to stay.

She was no stranger to emotions. It was the expression that was hard for her. She didn’t know how to let them come out naturally, as her instinct was to bottle them up and shove them away. She was learning, though. Learning how to be more thorough in how she expressed herself.

But the more positive ones such as happiness were odd to her.

A little flutter in her chest unsettled her, one time, when Alex had taken a picture of her. Another time, she felt a combination of both fear and joy when she had asked to be drawn by Alex. Even back when the two of them had finished their job on the Ravager ship, Alex’s love for music and willingness to share it gave Nebula an odd feelin in her stomach.

Thinking back on it, many of the scared-fluttery moments came from Alex herself.

Nebula bit her lip, still staring at the candle.

This couldn’t possibly be what she thought it was. There was no way it could amalgamate into... that... so quickly.

Her attempts to be emotional and express herself shriveled when confronted with this new, confusing feeling. Love.

It reminded her of the way Gamora would giggle stupidly at Quill’s bad dancing and even worse jokes. It reminded her of the dumb way that Gamora would smile whenever he held her hand. It reminded her of the ridiculous way that Gamora would let her guard down, even in battle, to make sure he was okay.

It was awful. Watching it made Nebula want to spit.

Nebula couldn’t imagine herself doing that. It was impractical. She didn’t “fall in love” and she wouldn’t “fall in love”.

If she hadn’t already.

What could she do? This feeling had nestled inside of her, hollowed out her insides and made a home. It wouldn’t leave. Nebula couldn’t think about anything else but this feeling, and how confused she was about this feeling, and if there was anything she could do about this feeling.

For an instant, she almost oonsidered getting one of her swords and carving out the emotion. She denied doing this because the ship most likely didn’t have the parts to salvage her, and she was mechanical enough already.

Nebula buried her face in her hands. The feeling got stronger with every passing moment. What could she do?

The first idea she had was to talk to Alex about it, and that was immediately shot down. No matter how much Nebula trusted Alex, she would never tell the subject of her potential affections that she was interested in her.

That left very slim pickings. Quill? Absolutely not. Drax, Rocket, or Groot? That was a joke. And Mantis was out of the question.

That only left...

Nebula shook her head, standing up straight. No, of course not. She wouldn’t stoop that low. She didn’t depend on her sister. Not anymore. They were equals now, and she wouldn’t demoralize herself by talking to sister dearest about her feelings. That was pathetic.

A voice, similar to Alex’s voice appeared in her head. _But,_ It said. _Would you rather sit here and let it eat you alive?_

 _No,_ Nebula thought.

_And isn’t being more sensitive all about expressing your emotions?_

The rationale was right. Nebula groaned softly, upset. Stupid thoughts that made sense, recommending things that she didn’t want to do but had to follow through on...

She blew out her candle and walked to Gamora’s room.

She had to get this out of her. It was like a bug, digging into and under her skin, burying itself in her robotic parts and holding, holding so tightly, never letting go. She had to get her sister to help pry it out.

 _What could she do?_ Part of her thought. _If she can’t, then who will?_

 _Who else is there?_ Another part of her said.

Nebula swallowed. Maybe this was a part of being... sensitive. Open. Maybe really talking about how you felt with others would help her somehow.

She groaned. This was horrible.

She swallowed her pride and knocked on the door.

After a few moments of silence, Nebula’s confidence faltered. Maybe this was a bad idea. She immediately turned on her heel and began to walk away when the door slid open.

”Nebula?” Gamora said.

Nebula made a _tch_  sound and slowly turned. “Hey, Gamora.” She said reluctantly.

”...Did you knock?”

”Yes.”

”...What’s up?”

Nebula sighed, holding her arm and looking away. “I... need to talk to you.”

Gamora got a concerned look on her face, and looked around either corner, almost checking if anyone was listening in. She beckoned Nebula into her room with a hand.

”Come in.”

Nebula obliged.

Gamora kept her eyes on Nebula as she walked in. Nebula didn’t look at her, just stood in the middle of the room awkwardly.

”What’s going on?” Gamora asked, voice serious.

”I... don’t know.” Was the only answer that Nebula could really muster. She shrugged her shoulders.

”Sit down.” Gamora said, pointing to a chair behind Nebula. She sat, and Gamora sat on her bed.

”I don’t... know what’s happening.” Nebula said. “To me. It’s...” she huffed. “Confusing. And I hate it.”

Gamora’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

”Exactly what I said,” Nebula snarled instinctively. She took a breath. “Sorry.”

”Its fine.” Gamora wasn’t used to apologies. Not from Nebula. “But I can’t really help you if you tell me it’s nothing.”

”I— ugh.” Nebula moaned. She really didn’t want to say it out loud. “What...” she trailed off, scratching the back of her neck.

Gamora waited patiently.

”What was it like,” Nebula asked, not looking Gamora in the face. “When you realized that Quill was in love with you?”

Nebula looked at the floor, particularly fascinated with a speck of dust she was nudging at with her boot. Gamora raised her eyebrows.

”Oh— oh.” Gamora said. “Oh.”

”Could you please shut up,” Nebula grumbled. “And answer the question?”

”Well,” Gamora hesitated. Nebula understood why.

The two, even though they were technically sisters, rarely shared things like this with one another. It was a very uncommon occurrence, and Nebula imagined if it ever did happen, it would be uncomfortable. The air felt about a thousand times more uncomfortable than Nebula imagined.

”This was a bad idea,” Nebula stood, voice thick. “I’m going—“

”Wait.” Gamora stood up too, putting her hands up slightly. “It’s okay.”

”It’s not. This is awful. I shouldn’t have asked.”

”No, it’s not. It’s fine.”

”Its embarrassing.”

”Yes. And it’s fine.”

Nebula was quiet for a moment.

”We are sisters,” Gamora said. “And I am here to help you. If this is something you need help with, I will do my best.”

Nebula bit her lip. “...alright.” She sat back down, and Gamora did too.

”Well,” Gamora said, back on topic. “I think it was when we were on Knowhere. He had showed me his music. I said it had a pleasant melody. He attempted to kiss me, and I put a knife to his throat.”

Nebula hummed. That sounded about right.

“He kept rambling about some ‘unspoken thing’ that drove me crazy, but eventually, I warmed up to him, and..” she shrugged. “Now I think we’re together.”

Nebula looked to the floor again and nodded. “Okay...”

Gamora hesititated before asking her next question. “Why?”

Nebula’s head snapped up and she growled “none of your business.”

Gamora put up her hands in a _Alright, alright_  position. “Okay. Sorry.”

Nebula pressed her lips together in a tight line. It would be hard to broach this topic without revealing exactly how she felt. Emotionally closed off or not, she imagined this was often a hard thing to talk about with almost anybody.

”I,” Nebula said slowly. “Am not sure what’s going on. With me. But, I hate it, and it’s horrible. And I think it has something to do with... that.”

”Love?”

Nebula cringed. “That.”

Gamora nodded slowly. “Alright.”

”So, how do I... stop it?”

Gamora chuckled. “You’re asking me?”

”Well,” Nebula sputtered. “You have... that.”

”Love.”

”Mhmm.” Nebula pressed her lips together again. “And you seem... fine.”

”Well, I think that’s because I didn’t stop it.” Gamora replied.

Nebula swallowed.

”Peter told me how he felt— well, implied it. Multiple times. And I looked into myself, and saw that I felt the same way about him.” She shrugged. “Now we’re here.”

”So I have to... accept it?” The words were like bile on Nebula’s tongue.

”I mean,” Gamora tried to look Nebula in the eye. “Who is it?”

That’s where Nebula turned into a locked box. She didn’t say a word. She turned back down to the floor again, staring at that speck of dust that was just so fascinating.

”Nebula,” Gamora said, tilting her head so she was on her level. “You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

”Well,” Nebula sputtered out. “I am.” No snappy comeback, not even any snapping. Just kind of... floundering.

”Nebula.” Gamora said, her voice a little softer this time. “I think I already know who it is.”

Nebula’s face felt a spring of heat as she’s looked up at her sister. “What?”

”We live on a ship with eight people,” Gamora smiled. “And pickings are very, very slim.”

Nebula’s face turned a darker shade of blue than it was before, and she put a hand up to her mouth to ostensibly cover her face. It didn’t work.

”I...” her voice was a little strangled. “I don’t know why.”

”I didn’t know why for awhile, either.” Gamora said gently. “Peter was abrasive, shockingly egocentric, and I could beat him in a battle fairly easily. But,” she smiled. “I learned more about him.”

Nebula looked over to her sister, apprehensive.

”I guarantee you that you’ll feel better about this if you just... ride it out.”

”Ride it out...?”

”Enjoy it.” Gamora said. “Having a crush shouldn’t be a chore.”

”Its not a crush,” Nebula forced out, flustered. “I don’t crush.”

“Neither did I,” Gamora smiled. “Look where I am now.”

Nebula hesitated, then turned her body fully to her sister. “You really think... that will make me happier?”

”Spend more time around her. Talk to her.” Gamora said.

With the “her”, Nebula blushed even hardest than before. Gamora was spot on. How did she know so much about her?!

Gamora seemed to read Nebula’s mind because she replied. “Don’t worry.” She said. “We’re sisters. I’m supposed to know these things about you.”

”Its still awful,” Nebula said, her voice muffled by the hand she brought back up to her face.

Gamora grinned again. “Just say who it is.” She said. “I heard that you’re trying to be more open, and I’m proud of you for that. Just say it. You’ll feel better.”

Nebula shook her head abrasively.

”Come on. It’ll feel better once you do it.”

Nebula shook her head again.

”I’ll tell you who my crush is.” Gamora joked.

“How special,” Nebula deadpanned, her blush fading.

”Come on.” Gamora repeated. “Just say it.”

Nebula looked back down at the floor, quiet. Then she said “...Alex.”

”There you go.” She nodded, happy. “You did it.”

“This is the worst.” Nebula said.

”What do you like about her?”

Nebula immediately rocketed out of her chair and made a beeline for the door. “Goodbye.”

”No, Neb— I was joking!” Gamora was able to stop Nebula from escaping, but Nebula still grumbled as she sat back in the chair.

When Nebula sat back down, Gamora continued. “Can I ask something of you?”

”Of course,” Nebula said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

”What made you realize you loved her?”

Nebula was about to stand again when Gamora slammed a hand down on the table Nebula was sitting in front of, blocking her from moving.

”I told you about Quill,” Gamora said, voice sharp. “Now you have to tell me about her.”

Nebula’s eyes narrowed. “Not a chance.”

”You can’t be like this forever,” Gamora chided her.

Nebula sneered. “Don’t dare me.”

”Just say it, Nebula.” Gamora said, exasperated.

After narrowing her eyes one more cynical time, Nebula mumbled. “When we were on the Ravager ship and she asked to sit down next to me, right as I was wiping the blood off my sword.”

”Knew it.” Gamora replied, satisfied.

Nebula shot out of her chair, finished. “Alright, I’m done. I’m leaving. Good talk, sis.”

”I’m glad you trusted me!” Gamora called out the door, even as Nebula slammed it shut.

She released a long, hearty breath from the other side of the door.

She had just confessed her first crush to her sister, who gave her advice on love.

How was that for sensitivity?


	12. Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Peter have a discussion about your commonalities.

You wanted to be distracted, so you put on some music.

The music wasn’t exactly good at distracting, because you associated her with music now.

You weren’t usually one who wanted to be distracted. Your problems weren’t something you wanted to run away from— that lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and even worse anxiety than whatever you were feeling. That was for sure.

So you didn’t bottle feelings. You were never ambiguous in how you felt, because you never wanted a bad sitcom-esque scenario to arise because you didn’t communicate your feelings clearly enough. You were poised and articulate, able to think about what you said before saying it.

The problem was, this wasn’t really something you could say anything about.

This was a crush, so personal and secret, that you didn’t want to reveal it. All logical thought went out the window in favor of privacy and not wanting to be humiliated. There was also the “coming-out” thing, which might have already been blown because three of the seven other people on this ship already knew.

Maybe it was in your head. You scoffed. Scratch that, everything was in your head. That’s what emotions are. But that didn’t make them any less valid.

You had the tools to open up, but this wasn’t a one-man job. You had no one to help you.

So... you told yourself you weren’t distraction yourself. No. That wasn’t it. You were just... putting your worries to bed for awhile.

They were in bed. But they weren’t sleeping.

The same could be said for you, in bed but still wide awake. You noticed this happened much more often, being awake when others were asleep. It really probably was the worry that did this.

Or the consistent lack of sun. That probably did something too.

Regardless, you were awake and thinking.

Kind of about Nebula. Mostly about Nebula. Only about Nebula.

This crush has spiraled a little bit, and everything was all bottled up inside you. And you didn’t like that. You weren’t one to bottle things. Of course, you would have let this bottle open if you could, but you didn’t have anyone to open it to. It was either talking to someone, screaming into the void of space, or keeping it in.

Being alone in space was unsavory to you, so you just kept your mouth shut and that bottle of emotions sealed up right.

You knew you had a crush on Nebula. You accepted you had a crush on Nebula. Heck, you even liked it. You liked her, your time together, the feeling of being in love in general. Whenever you saw her, you got happy. Whenever you thought about her, you got happy. And whenever she talked with you or you shared your music with her, you got even happier.

There was no reason to be upset about that.

And you weren’t upset. You felt... good.

Just full. You were emotionally full and ready to burst, like a soda can that had been in an earthquake. Shaken and ready to blow.

Simplified, your problem was this— you loved Nebula too much and needed to talk about it.

You groaned, shutting off your music and rubbing your eyes. This was very much a _You_ problem. Your crush was so big you just had to talk about it or else you would explode.

Sitting up in bed, you thought. If you were really going to do this, you needed to make an educated choice. You couldn’t just fire off your mouth to the first person who walked by.

The person on the ship you trusted most was Nebula— but you immediately discarded the thought. You ranting to her about how much you liked her would be a very unsavory way to reveal that crush. Absolutely not. Next.

Maybe Mantis? After all, she knew you were gay. You came out to her first. And she kept your secret well enough. But... she may or may not have forgotten about it. You had seen no responses in your hints you the subject, so maybe she didn’t remember. Or she was just batter at keeping secrets than you thought. Regardless, you weren’t sure. Mantis wasn’t the right choice for this.

Gamora...? No. Probably not. Though she was mature, and also had experience with a relationship, You and her were not close enough to discuss things like this. Also, she was Nebula’s sister. Yikes. Pass.

Drax? He was married, and used to have a wife and daughter, so maybe he could help you out. But then came the secret problem again. Drax wasn’t very discreet. He couldn’t keep things on the down low. Also, he was bad with metaphors, so if you said Nebula gave you butterflies in your stomach, he would cut you open. No thanks.

Rocket and Groot were out of the question. Sure, you had that heart-to heart with Rocket, but that didn’t mean you were close. He still called you Five Suits. He still teased you. Also, what would Rocket have to offer anyway? He didn’t seem like the type that was good with relationships. And Groot? Please. Even if he did have insight to offer, you wouldn’t be able to understand it.

You sighed. That left only one option.

Peter.

It wasn’t a bad choice. Not by a long shot. You shared the most similarities with him; being human, liking music, you were both romantically interested in alien murderers turned soft-ish— he was a great choice, probably the best out of all of them.

It was the issue of coming out. You hadn’t told him yet, and immediately coming out then dropping the bombshell you liked Nebula was something you couldn’t do to someone. Especially after about one and a half months of knowing them.

He was also a little... goofy. You hadn’t seen very many of his serious moments. Of course, he had them— you just never saw them in action. He was effortless in the things he did, and it always worked out for him. So what else could he provide for you other than just listening? Or was listening all you wanted.

You sighed, looking on the other hand. On this other hand, you realized if you didn’t do this, you would stay bottled up and emotionally frustrated for a very long time.

Trying to remind yourself that Peter was a good choice, you remembered he was the leader. Leaders were supposed to help their team no matter what they were going through. Anything at all. Besides, if you really wanted to become as close as everyone else was on board, you had to open up— yes, even more than you were already opening up.

You weighed your options.

 _No_ , you thought. _I already said I was going to do this. I’m not bowing out before I even start._

You stood, trying to amp yourself up a little bit. This was no big deal. You were just talking about your feelings. You talked about your feelings all the time. That was, like, your whole thing.

You opened your door, and almost marched down to Peter’s room in confidence.

You rapped on the door three times, and it kind of came to you in a flash that it was very late in the Guardian’s sleep schedule. You were most likely waking him up.

That was all the excuse you needed to leave, but you stood your ground. You had already woken him up. You weren’t turning around.

Peter opened the door, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah?” He groaned.

”Peter!” You exclaimed, as if you were surprised to see him. “Hi!”

”Hey...” he opened his eyes, recognizing who you were now. “Alex.”

”Hi.” You repeated.

Silence.

”Was there... something you needed, or...?”

”Oh— yeah. There, uh, was.”

You thought back to your plan, which, simplified, sounded stupid. Waking up Peter in the middle of his sleep to talk about your crush on Nebula.

Not great.

”Yeah— uhm.” You swallowed. “There was, but... there isn’t now. I just realized... it’s dumb. It’s just dumb. I’m really sorry our waking you up. Goodnight.” You swiftly turned on your heel and began to walk away.

”Wait,” Peter said, holding up a tired hand. He was exhausted, but still retained a sense of authority. You turned back around.

”It’s not dumb.” Peter wiped the sleep from his eyes, waking you a bit more. “Whatever it is, it’s probably not dumb.”

”It is. It... kind of is.”

”Even if it is dumb,” Quill said. “I’m talking with you about it anyway. Step into my office.” He gestured into his room.

You smiled, but still hesitated for a moment. “Thanks.”

You walked in. His room was decorated with knickknacks and pictures of all kinds— with the other Guardians, even a few snapshots during some battles, and a few photos with what looked to be him as a child with his mother.

You took a set in a chair next to a desk, a little uncomfortable to be in his room, especially after he just woke up.

Peter sat down on his bed, looking at you. “So,” he said. “What’s up?”

You sucked in air through your teeth. “Well,” You tried to be as articulate as possible. “It’s... uh... complicated.”

”Always is, isn’t it.” 

“Okay—“ You fumbled with your words. “Let me start it like this.”

”Alright.”

”You and I are very similar. Am i right?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah?”

”We both like similar music, we’re both humans...”

”Yeah...?” He seemed to be getting... nervous? What did he think was about to happen?

”And, well...” you blushed, and began to rub your arm, thinking about Nebula. “I thought you might be able to... help me. With something.”

”Yeah...?” he drew it out longer this time, and you could feel his stomach drop.

”God, this is... it’s really embarrassing to say, but... it’s a romantic thing.”

It was Peter’s turn to suck in air through his teeth. He stood up, and you got confused.

”Oh, Alex...” he said, his voice a little pitiful. As if he was trying to let you down easy on something. “No.”

”Wait, what?”

”I— I can’t do this. I don’t— I don’t feel that way about you.”

You stammered. “Sorry?”

“I’m with Gamora— and I love her. I don’t wanna do that to her. And I don’t wanna do _that_ to you.”

He thought you were trying to confess— to him.

You did your best to find something to say, but nothing came out. Your face just turned more and more red.

”I thought you knew that I’m with Gamora,” he explained awkwardly, rubbing his neck. “And, You know, it’s pretty serious—“

”Peter—“ You tried to interrupt.

”I mean, I’m pretty irresistible.” Okay, now he was just stroking his ego. “And You certainly don’t have to feel bad for being drawn to my masculine wiles. Really, everyone is...”

”Peter, I’m gay.” You forced out.

He stopped everything, and froze. “Oh... oh.” He shook his head, lookin at the floor.

”Yeah...” You trailed off.

”Sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” The air was thick with awkwardness. Both of you had made this whole interaction kind of weird.

You cleared your throat. “That’s... what i was going to say.”

”No, yeah, I got that.” Peter forced and nodded. “And I’m— god, I’m so embarrassed.”

”I’m an empath,” You chuckled. “You don’t have to tell me that.”

”God I’m such an idiot.” Peter put his face in his hands.

”Hey,” You said, voice softening. You pat his back. “It’s okay—! I was exactly very clear in what I was saying. Honest mistake.”

”Ugh, I thought you had a crush’s on me...”

”No. you’re old enough to be my dad.”

”Ughhhh, now I feel worse!” Peter groaned.

”Sorry.”

”It’s fine,” Peter grunted, sitting up. “And, uh... I don’t really know what to... say.”

”About me being gay?”

”Yeah,” he said, not really making eye contact with you. “I mean, don’t get me wrong! I’m accepting, and all that. I’m not super graceful with... I don’t know... meaningful words of wisdom.”

”You don’t seem that way with your speeches, Star-Lord.” You gave him a playful punch on the arm to boost his confidence. “And you don’t have to give a speech, anyway. Just... tell me what you think.”

”Well,” Peter sat up straight. “I grew up... not really around a lot of gay people. So I don’t know what to do. And I don’t want to be insensitive or hurt your feelings or anything...”

”Just treat me like you would any other person.” You shrugged.

”Okay,” Peter nodded. “I’m sorry. I feel so insensitive.”

You could feel that feeling coming off of him. The want to be supportive, but not knowing how. It made you sad. Peter really was a good leader.

”You don’t have to tell me how you feel.” You repeated. “I’m an empath.”

”I know,” Peter groaned. “It’s like a double-whammy of being a self-centered douche and not knowing what to do.”

”Just try,” You said. “That’s all that matters. Just... act like nothing’s different. Because nothing is. I’ve always been like this... you’re just seeing it for the first time.”

Peter looked at you in the eye now. “That’s really good.”

”Thank you.” You smiled.

”You should give the speeches, not me.”

”Nah, they like you more.”

He laughed at that. “Alright. Nothing’s changed. You’re still a member of the team.”

”God, I would hope so.”

”And, uh, does anyone else know?”

”Yeah, Nebula, Mantis, and Rocket.”

Peter lifted an eyebrow. “Really? Those three?”

You shrugged. “Rocket guessed and was right, Mantis read my emotions so I had to tell her, and I just... trusted Nebula.”

If Peter could lift his eyebrow any higher, he would. “ _Really?_ How’d she take that?“

”Pretty well.” You nodded. “I’m surprised you’re more critical of her and not Rocket.”

Peter sighed. “God, Rocket. What did he say?”

”It wasn’t too bad. He just said he knew, I told him he ruined the surprise, and that was that.”

Peter hummed, nodding.

“How...” You started. “How do you think everyone else will take it?”

”Honestly? Pretty well. I think you got the hard ones out of the way first.”

It was your turn to say “Really?”

Peter nodded. “Groot won’t really _care_ , Drax will just change all the _hims_ in his personal questions to _hers_ , and odds are that Gamora will most likely be accepting of you.”

You smiled a little to yourself. “Well,” You said, satisfied. “I’m glad to hear it.”

”And if anyone gives you a hard time, I’ll kick their ass.”

”You just had to say that from the beginning and it would have been perfectly fine!”

”I thought it had to be more eloquent.”

You chuckled. “There’s one thing we don’t have in common.”

Peter laughed.

This was nice. It was going almost exclusively how you wanted it to. You got to educate Quill a bit on gown gay people are just people that are gay, he was absolutely accepting, and he even gave you full support if anyone gave you a hard time. This was fantastic.

But it wasn’t what you came here to do.

You cleared your throat. “Speaking of things we have in common,” You said. “Apparently we also have similar taste in women.”

Peter stopped laughing. “You...” he said cautiously. “Have a crush on Gamora?”

”No,” You said flatly. You nipped that bud a long time ago. 

“Okay, whew.” Peter breathed a sigh of relief.

”Yeah.”

”I got worried there.”

”We can’t keep doing this, just wait until I finish talking.”

Peter nodded, sheepish. “Right.”

”So, we apparently are both interested in dangerous but attractive alien women that could kill us at any moment.”

”Right— wait.” Peter stopped. “So...” he drew out the word.

Apparently neither of you wanted to say it.

”Nebula,” you said, throat dry. “It’s Nebula.”

”Ah,” Quill said. “Interesting choice.”

”I didn’t really choose, but... thanks.”

”No, sorry, I mean...” Peter squinted. “Nebula?”

”Hey, don’t say it like that.” You sounded hurt, almost. “She’s a really good person. I mean it.”

”I know, she’s changed a lot, but... Nebula?”

”She’s made huge strides emotionally,” you began listing off the reasons you liked her. “She’s interesting. Genuinely. And I just...” You blushed. “Like her. A lot.”

”Aww.” Peter cooed.

”Stop.”

“You li-Ike her.” Peter joked, poking at you.

”Okay, that’s all I needed, I’m leaving.” You said hastily.

”No, stop! Tell me more about how you love her!”

”Goodbye, I’m already out the door!” You said, closing it shut.

”Good luck with your lady love!” Said Peter, his voice muffled.

You grinned despite yourself. “Thanks!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a reset on my phone and almost all my stuff is gone. I feel like garbage. Ugghhhhhh


	13. A Date (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nebula has been asking to spar with you a lot lately. Luckily, she has a weak point exposed, and you are going to find it.

The suits were pretty much all you needed in battle. Sometimes, they felt like all you were.

Most of the powers you had were used by the suit. The stunning beads, the bolas, the jet boots, it was all your suit. The only one of your powers that was really functional in battle was your pocket dimension. Your emotional detention and influence often didn’t really add much into battle, so a majority of your useful functions were taken by the suit.

It made you feel a little bad sometimes, obviously. Not having any real contribution to the team did bring you down sometimes. But then you remembered the only one who could fit into and pilot the suits was you, and you felt a little bit better. Even if you were an accessory in battle.

On the team out of battle, that’s where you really shone. You felt much more useful when you weren’t in the fray. You were solving emotional conflicts left and right and forcing the others to open up. Of course, sometimes it didn’t work. But sometimes it did, and then the Guardians functioned like a well-oiled machine.

You were a necessity to the emotional aspect of the team, not the power aspect.

Of course, that didn’t mean you didn’t train. 

You were still important, in and out of battle, albeit in different ways. And you worked on becoming more important— or at least more useful. You worked on your endurance and speed, and even tried to bulk up a little bit of muscle. Not for fighting, just in case a building collapsed or something. For defense.

And honestly, you were doing well. You weren’t exactly the Hulk, but you could see your biceps getting more definition. You were proud of yourself.

Right about now, you finished a quick workout to keep your body in shape. You were in the main hub, and Drax saw you lifting some 10-pound dumbbells.

”You’re becoming less puny.” He remarked.

”Yeah,” you smiled. “I’m really proud of myself.” You flexed your arm, and a little bit of muscle distended. You pointed at it, grinning wide. “Like, look at that! Wow!”

”Don’t get cocky,” Drax flexed his own arm. “No matter how strong you get, you’ll never surpass me.”

”Thanks, Drax.” You said dryly, continuing to lift. “Glad you believe in me. Very motivational.”

“You’re welcome.” Drax nodded. “When you are as muscular as I am, you must remain humble. I, myself, am incredibly honest.”

”Of course, Popeye.” You muttered, putting down your weight.

Drax nodded and walked off, then Nebula entered the room.

”Hey,” you greeted her, smiling as you wiped the sweat off your forehead.

”You smell disgusting,” was her first response, eyeing you up and down.

”Everyone’s a critic today.” You sighed. “I just finished working out.”

”I thought your thing was emotions?”

”It is,” you rubbed your hands together. “But I wanted to raise my strength a little. For endurance and defense.” You grinned again. “Check this out.” You flexed again, and the muscle bulged just a bit. You looked at Nebula for approval.

“Nice work,” Nebula rolled up her own sleeve. “But you’ll have to do better than that.” She flexed, and her muscle bulged significantlv larger than yours did.

You got flustered. You had no idea that Nebula was so built. And Amazonians were certainly your type. “How do you even have enough muscle left on you to flex it?”

”I may mostly be parts,” she rolled down her sleeve now. “But I have enough meat left on me.”

“Guess I better keep working then,” you sighed, picking up your weight again.

Nebula took it out of your hand and set it down. “That won’t do you any good.”

”What? Come on.” You flexed your arm harder. “Those are what got me these!”

”Exactly my point.” Nebula deadpanned. “You need a challenge.”

”Yeah?” You perked up a little at that. “Like what?”

”Like sparring.”

”I’ve spared plenty of times before. And, if I may say, I’m great with it.”

”You’ve never sparred without your suit.” Nebula said. “Or against me.”

That got your attention. 

“I haven’t,” you said. “Because I would straight-up die.”

”I won’t kill you.”

”Nebula!” You exclaimed. “That’s so kind of you!”

She ignored that little comment. “If you want to be better without your suit,” she said. “You need to work without your suit.”

”I’ll consider it,” you said, apprehensive. You weren’t really comfortable working without any of your suits. In battle, they were a part if you. You weren’t sure how open you were to doing any kind of fighting without your suits.

”No,” Nebula said. “You’ll do it. You need to become stronger.”

”Ouch.” You recoiled, pretending to be pained by her statement.

She sighed. “Just do it.” Her voice became less hard as she continued. “I would... like you to.”

“Okay...” you stood slowly. “That’s all you had to say.”

Nebula turned on her heel, not letting you see her face. “Let’s go, then.”

You could feel her aura, and it said that she was... pretty happy about this. She really wanted to train with you, and you could feel your face burning.

Did she...?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Nebula unsheathing her sword and clicking it out to its fullest length. “We’ll spar outside,” she said. “We’re still docked, and we have about half an hour until we’re taking off again.”

The Guardians had stopped to dock for a little while so Rocket could pick up some cheap parts. You weren’t sure what planet you were on, but the location you were in was empty and sparse, so you and Nebula could spar with no problem.

“Cool.” You said, rolling up your sleeves. “Let’s do it.”

Nebula opened the door, and while this was happening, Peter came around the corner. “Hey, guys.” He smiled at you a little wider than usual. “Where’re you going?”

”Out to spar,” Nebula replied, not looking at him. She just watched the hatch open.

”Oh, out to _spar_ , huh?” Peter put a little lilt in his voice, and looked at you. He gave you an exaggerated wink, and your face felt like it exploded into flames.

”Peter please stop we are actually going out to train” the words tumbled out of you.

”Alright.” He winked one last time, and you gave him a glare. Nebula didn’t seem to notice.

The hatch opened fully, and the two of you walked out. 

“Have fun! Stay safe!” Peter called.

You grimaced and waved back at him, trying to to pay attention.

”He’s more irritating than usual.” Nebula remarked, turning her head slightly to look at him just before the hatch closed.

”Haha yeah wonder what that’s about” the words tumbled out again. “So how about that training, huh?” You fruitlessly tried to collect yourself.

”I won’t actually hurt you,” Nebula said once you reached a wide enough space. “We’ll just see how much evasion you can handle.”

”Cool. Cool.” You said, rubbing your hands together. “If I hurt you—“

”I doubt you will.”

”Actually, joke’s on you, that’s what I wanted to hear.”

Nebula chuckled, just a little bit.

Your soul brightened when she laughed.

“Okay, evasion.” You clapped your hands together. “Got it. So this is basically me just running away from you.”

”Not running. Dodging. If you run away, I will hold you to the ground.”

”Promise?” You said without thinking. You immediately stopped everything. That was risqué.

Was that a flirt? Did you just flirt? Is this what flirting was?

Nebula seemed to notice that too, because she gave you a look you couldn’t really identify. You couldn’t really identify her aura either, because it was a confusing maelstrom of a lot of emotions.

You cleared your throat, your face feeling like it was burning now. “So, uh, whenever you’re ready.”

Nebula hesitated, then thrusted her sword in front of her, aiming for your stomach with a battle cry. Even though you invited her to do it, it took you by surprise, then you fell to the ground. The sword missed— but now you were trapped.

”Already?” Nebula dug the sword next to your head. “How underwhelming.”

”I’m not done.” You rolled the opposite direction and stood, quick as a flash. You had been working on your speed as well.

”I haven’t just been lifting heavy stuff.” You said, now standing a few feet away from her. “I’ve been running a lot more.”

”I told you,” Nebula growled. “No running.”

She swung the sword at you again, and you tucked and rolled away from it. Standing up, you saw the sword come back down on your once more. You rolled again, losing your breath a bit.

Nebula jabbed the sword at your shoulder, and you smacked it broadside with the back of your hand, causing it to go off kilter. Nebula used this momentum and swung at you again, and you crouched down, quick as a whip.

When she missed the swing, you shot up again and grabbed the hand she was using to hold the sword by the wrist. She wrenched it out of your grasp, then swung at your legs this time with a yell. You jumped over the blade, becoming more and more impressed with your newfound agility.

“How’s that for a dodge?” You couldn’t help but grin.

”Enough quips.” Nebula said simply. She stabbed at you again, by the hip, but you were able to swing it out of the way with a “whoa!” That was a close call.

”You said you wouldn’t stab me!” You exclaimed, backing up a little.

”I haven’t yet, have I?” Nebula pulled out another sword from her sheath with her free hand. She began to walk towards you. Even in battle, her hips swung like a pendulum. It was ridiculous.

She swipes both swords at you in an X formation, and you stumbled back, just out of their grasp.

”I was slow on that one.” Nebula said. “If that were real, you would be in pieces by now.”

”If any of this were real, I would be sliced open in a variety of different ways by now—“you caught your footing.

Nebula reared up her sword one more time, then jabbed it at you. You panicked, and fell to the ground once more. Before you could get up, Nebula put a foot on one of your ankles. You tried to yank it out, but it was no use.

She put the sword to your throat and looked down at you. You could feel the cold of the metal on your neck. “I win.”

”Not yet,” you croaked. “Time out.”

* * *

 You opened your eyes, and you were back in the pocket dimension.

You made a _tch_ sound, rubbing your eyes. You had panicked and warped the two of you here. How embarrassing. Nebula said no running, and this was similar to that. Disappointing.

You exhaled, rubbing your neck where the point of the sword was. You knew Nebula wouldn’t hurt you, but you panicked.

Sighing, you looked around for her. Hopefully she wasn’t freaking out.

On the contrary, she just seemed confused. She had apparated about ten feet away from you, and had landed on her hands and knees rather than her feet. You walked over.

”Hey,” You said. “Sorry about that. I freaked out.”

”What... happened?” It was her turn to croak now, standing up.

”Sorry.” You apologized again. “I... accidentally teleported is to my pocket dimension. My bad.”

Nebula looked around. “What is this place?”

”My pocket dimension.” You repeated. “ People are more suceptible to my powers here.” You could feel that she was a little worried. “It’s okay! I control everything here. You’re not in danger or anything.”

”Right,” She breathed. “You told me about this. Your... little world.”

You shrugged. “I guess you could call it that... anyway, our real bodies are passed out on the mortal plane right now.” You sucked in air through your teeth. “Yikes. Again, I’m sorry.”

”It’s fine,” Nebula was still looking around. “You fought well enough. But I was going easy on you.”

”Yeah,” You said, rubbing your arm. “I know. If you were even trying, I’d be dead in seconds.”

”I wouldn’t hurt you.” She said again, not looking you into the face.

”And again, I really appreciate the sentiment.” You smiled slightly. “But I still think you won.”

”Really?”

”Yeah,” you sat on the floor. “I’m not great without my suits. I think I should just stick with them.”

You could sense an apprehension from Nebula— a yearning to say or do something, but for whatever reason, she couldn’t. The air stayed silent and thick. 

“We’re the only ones here,” you said. “There’s no one else.”

Nebula gave you a surprised look.

“I-I could feel your apprehension.” You explained. “So if you want to say something, or whatever... it’s just me.” You smiled bashfully. “You don’t need to be worried.”

Something inside you said that was exactly why she was worried.

Nebula slowly sat down next to you, with her knees drawn to her chest. You sat more freely, with your legs out in front of you and your body supported by your arms behind you.

”You can talk to me.” You said.

Nebula was still hesitant.

”I don’t want to say something wrong.” She responded.

You scoffed. “No emotion is wrong. Just say it.”

”I don’t like sparring with you.” Nebula said bluntly, turning her head towards you.

”Ouch.”

”It’s not that.” Nebula fired back aggressively. “It’s not you, it’s.. the sparring.”

”You don’t like the sparring?” You asked. “Then why did you ask me to spar with you?”

”I—“ she stopped, looking away. “I mean... something different.”

You looked at her, heart speeding up. “What do you mean?”

”I don’t— know what I mean.” Nebula groaned, putting her head in her hands. “It’s just a lot.”

You drew your legs in towards you and adjusted your seating so you were facing her, growing more concerned. Was Nebula okay? You put a hand on her shoulder and she jerked it away.

You could feel her aura from here. It was confusing again. Just so many feelings jumbled together, again like a ball of yarn just knotted up, or a sheet of paper that just was being crumpled and uncrumpled and crumpled all over again. Nebula was very conflicted, and very confused.

You wanted to help her, but you couldn’t see past the layers unless she let you. You couldn’t peek into people’s innermost thoughts— just the surface ones. But if they invited you in, you could observe, identify, and explain what it was she was feeling.

”Hey,” you said softly. “It’s alright.”

”It’s just hard.”

”You don’t have to say anything.” You said, looking deep into her eyes. “I can... look in you. And find it.”

”What do you mean?”

”If you want me to know what’s going on, I mean.” You took your hand off her shoulder. “I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

Nebula bit her lip.

”No,” she said. “I want you to.”

You softly put the hand back on her shoulder. “I can look into your emotions, past the confusing ones, and find the core of what it is you’re talking about.” You explained. “And then once I know, I can help.”

Nebula nodded, her voice thick. “I think you knowing will be all the help I need.”

You nodded, then looked into her eyes again. You didn’t need to for this to happen, but you hoped it gave her a sense of comfort.

Plus you just liked looking at them.

As you stared, you could feel her letting you in. It wasn’t as if the haze became clear— rather, it was like a murky sea was parting, as if  you were not looking into the haze, but moving past it. It was like excavating to the center of the Earth.

You felt yourself disappearing from the physical realm, and while your consciousness remained in your pocked dimension, your vision was filled with tangible sights of Nebula’s feelings. This has always scared you a little whenever you did it, but you were becoming accustomed to doing things that scared you now. You looked down and couldn’t see your body. You would take a breath, but you didn’t have lungs here.

The emotions were shaped like galaxies, merging into one another and crashing through and past each other. Nebulae in Nebula. She was really torn up about something.

As you looked, as you moved onwards, you saw the complex emotions turn more and more simple. Complicated emotions like nostalgia or regret, turned into simple joy or anger. It was when they fused and molded and crashed into one another so close fo the surface that things got complicated. And that was where her actions came from, most likely.

You were getting closer to the core, to the problem. You could feel it. The emotions turned less into emotions and more into... feelings. Just how you felt. No explanation, no motive, no reason. Just how you felt.

And how Nebula felt now made your heart feel like it had worked it’s way out of your throat.

You had disconnected from her, and warped back into your body— well, back into your consciousness in your pocket dimension.

”I—“ you began, voice dry. “I feel the same way.”

Her problem was that she loved you. She was in love with you. Nebula, one of the most dangerous women in the galaxy, was in love with you. 

“What?” She said quietly.

”Nebula, I—“ you had always tried to be articulate, but words failed you now. “I feel the same way that you do!”

”You—“ Nebula’s face got a little more blue. “You do?”

”Yes!” You exclaimed. “I felt that way about you ever since you carried a 60-pound suitcase like I would carry a purse!” You sounded ridiculous, but you didn’t care. “I-I really like you! And you—“ you blushed, hard.

”I like you too.” Nebula scratched her face, a tick you had noticed when she was trying to hide her expression.

But you could feel it. The excitement and joy radiating off of her was almost sickening with how sweet it was. Similar to the pride, you felt almost sick to your stomach.

But this was good. Your emotions matched up this time, so it didn’t hurt you.

”Don’t try and be so stoic!” You laughed. “I’m an empath! I feel what you’re feeling.”

“I...” Nebula looked at you and smiled. She actually smiled. “I felt this way about you ever since we were on the Ravager ship, when I was polishing the blood off of my sword and you sat down next to me like nothing was wrong.”

You had to hold back a squeal-like giggle with that one. You just smiled and put your hand to your mouth.

”I’m so glad you know now,” Nebula sighed. “It is such a weight off my shoulders.”

”Me too!” You exclaimed in agreement, just incredibly excited. “I wish I said something sooner.”

”Me too!”

The both of you laughed at that.

You opened up your arms to give her a hug and gave her a look that said “come on.”

She recoiled a little bit, and shook her head.

”Come on.” You said out loud now. “We feel the same way about each other. You have a huge emotional weight off your shoulders, and so do I. I think that warrants a hug.”

Nebula almost looked around to see if anyone was watching.

You laughed. “We’re the only ones here.”

Nebula blushed a little bit again, then reluctantly opened her arms.

You dove into them, holding her in a tight embrace. It felt good to hug her, even if she wasn’t hugging you back.

That was fine. You knew she needed time.

Slowly but surely, she wrapped her arms around you too, lightly. You rested your head on her shoulder as she held you, breathing in the scent of metal and sweat. You could feel her hands on your back, rising with your breaths.

She could feel your heartbeat.

Nebula released you first and looked at you sheepishly. “I,” she swallowed. “I’m very... new. To all of this. So I’m not really...”

”Don’t worry.” You said, voice comforting. “I’m new with this too. And we won’t tell anyone until you’re ready.”

”So...” Nebula scratched at her face again. “Are we...?” She couldn’t finish the sentence. You thought her circuits might overheat if she got any more flustered.

You chuckled. “I thought we had already been on two dates by now. On the Ravager ship and literally right now.”

Nebula flinched at that a bit. “I guess so.”

”And we don’t have to put a label on what’s this is.” You assured her. “We can just... like each other.”

”I was... not preparing to tell you here.” Nebula said. “I wanted to say something during a real... date.”

”You were planning a real date?” Your heart melted.

”That’s why I asked you about Terran recreations.” Nebula said. “I wanted to watch a movie and say something then.”

”Aw, Nebula.” You smiled widely, putting your hands to your cheeks. “You’re so thoughtful.”

”Well,” Nebula scratched at her nose, trying to cover her face even more. “Now I’ve told you.”

”We can still have that date if you want.”

”It’s... too risky.” Nebula looked at you straight in the face then. “One of the Guardians might interrupt us. I don’t want them to think I’m getting soft.”

”But you are soft.” You said jokingly.

”Stop that. I’ll stab you.”

”But you said you’d never hurt me.”

”Changed my mind. Sorry, Alex.”

It was only the third or fourth time that she had ever said you name, and it made your stomach flip every time. You couldn’t surpress a giggle. 

“I also... don’t want to out you.” 

“Oh, Nebula...” you said, more sincerely. “...thank you.”

”It’s the least I could do.”

“Well,” you smirked. “I think this was a good sparring session. Let’s get out of here.”

”Let’s.”

* * *

You woke up again, and you were on the ground.

You noticed two things— number one was that Nebula was lying on top of you, not yet conscious. This was a cliche scenario if you had ever seen one. You would have scoffed, but a pain in your head kept you from doing so.

Two, the sword in her hand had sliced open your jaw from ear to chin in the left side.

You hissed in pain, unable to get up and not disturb Nebula’s body. You were able to get the sword away from your fresh gash, but not much else. It was gushing blood.

Nebula’s eyes fluttered open, and she seemed to realize what— rather, who— was underneath her. She scrambled off of you, about to say something— then she noticed your wound.

”Moving a little fast, aren’t we?” You sat up groaning. “And I thought you were joking about stabbing me.”

”Alex, your face—“

”I’m okay!” You lied. “I know you didn’t mean to. It was my fault, actually. I made you pass out on top of me. My bad.” You talked through gritted teeth, as moving your mouth to talk hurt tremendously.

”Don’t be stupid. Get up, we’re going back to the ship.”

”Yeah, sounds good.” She grabbed your hand and pulled you up, and hastily took off her jacket.

”Put pressure on the wound. That will stop the bleeding.” 

You exhaled, in pain, and did as you were told. Nebula took your other arm and put it around her shoulder, helping you back to the ship.

”I can still walk,” you wheezed through a clenched jaw. “You don’t need to support me.”

”I’ll need to support you because of blood loss.” Nebula said dryly, nearing the ship.

”Also ‘cause you wanna hold me?” You joked.

”Yes.” She said frankly. “I do.”

You were surprised at how earnest she was. “I appreciate the honesty.”

Nebula opened the door, and Peter was sitting at the table, eating something. He looked over his shoulder to greet you, then his face fell.

”Oh,” he said. “You were actually sparring.”

”Yeah, no— augh!” You cried out in pain from a jagged part of the jacket catching your cut. Your eyes began to well up with tears.

”We need her to get stitches.” Nebula said urgently. “This is a deep cut.”

”Please and thank you.” You said through gritted teeth. Peter nodded and hastily went to go get some medical supplies.

The pain was unbearable. You squeezed your eyes shut as hard as you could and breathed heavily.

”Are you alright?” Nebula asked, sitting you down at a chair.

”I’ll live,” you groaned. “Augh, it’s just— it’s just a lot. Maybe you should get Mantis to make me sleep.”

You didn’t even noticed that Nebula was holding your hand until you looked down. Your fingers were clenched tightly around her robotic hand, squeezing hard.

Nebula almost started to stand, letting go of your hand when you said “wait.” She looked back down.

”Someone else can get Mantis.” You breathed. “I want you to stay here.”

”...so you can just hold my hand.” She said in the same tone as you teasing earlier.

”Yes,” you smiled, exhausted and in pain. “I do.”

”I appreciate your honesty.” She allowed herself a small smile back at you.

You were still pressing the jacket against your face and looking at Nebula when Peter came back accompanied by all the other Guardians. Your eyes turned to them because you were afraid to move your head. You smiled a little at them, then winced. “Hey, guys.” You croaked.

Rocket looked at you and crossed his arms. “You sure you’re alright, Five Suits?”

”Just a little nick.” You said, removing the jacket. It was not a nick. The cut was nearly five inches long, from your earlobe to your chin, and still oozing blood.

”I am Groot!” Said Groot, disgusted.

”Yech. That’s a bad one.” Grimaced Rocket.

”Afraid of a little blood?” You grinned just a bit, but then got very lightheaded. You clenched harder on Nebula’s hand to stay conscious.

”Why are you holding hands with Nebula?” Drax asked.

”Because she’s in pain, Drax.” Nebula shot back, voice hard.

”If I clenched someone else’s hand, I’d probably hurt them. Because of these bad boys.” You flexed weakly, but the blood loss made you a little faint again. You couldn’t manage the muscle.

”We’re proud of you, Alex,” said Gamora. “But don’t strain yourself.”

Peter had set down a box that seemed to have medical supplies in it, and was rummaging around as you were talking.

“You’re a Saint, Peter.” You chuckled, watching him go through the supplies.

“Don’t thank me just yet.” He pulled out a needle and thread, and you winced.

”Isn’t there some kind of healing space band-aid where you put it on and it’s healed over?” You whined.

”There aren’t any ‘kiss and make it better’ solutions, Five Suits.” Rocket said. “Just suck it up.”

”Great.” You muttered.

”Besides,” Drax said. “You will have an awesome scar.”

”I’ll look like Frankenstein’s monster.” You said.

”Who?”

”He’s this gross creature that was all sewn together with different body parts.” You crinkled your nose. “I don’t wanna have thread in me.”

”It’s the kind that disappears over time, I think.” Peter said, looking at the spool. “It’s safe on skin.”

”Yeah, I sure hope it would be!” You snapped, then winced from the pain.

”Gettin’ your face cut open has given you a lot more sass than usual.” Rocket said.

”I think it’s warranted.” You growled, gritting your teeth. “Mantis, could you put me to sleep or something? This is real bad.”

Mantis’ antennae flicked, and she nodded, she had been awfully quiet, especially when it was you around Nebula. It was probably the hand holding that did it, and she wasn’t sure if she should have said something. 

Maybe she hadn’t forgotten. Maybe she would say something while you were out.

This revaluation came too late, as she had already put a hand to your forehead and whispered “sleep”. Before you could even open your mouth, you were out.


	14. Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While you’re knocked out, Gamora and Nebula have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: mild gore? Al gets stitched up

Mantis put a hand on Alex’s head, said “sleep”, and she was out like a light.

Nebula watched her head fall back, lips slightly parted in relaxed breathing now. Her face unscrewed, the pain presumably dulled for her. Nebula released a breath of her own, relieved that she wasn’t in much more pain.

Her hand unclasped, and she set down Alex’s hand. She carefully positioned her so she would be comfortable.

Nebula removed the bunched-up jacket from her face, now stained with lots of blood. She held back a wince at that, and the cut hadn’t stop bleeding yet either. It was awful for her first real injury.

Nebula felt bad. Of course she felt bad. Directly after confessing her feelings to her, she had gone and stabbed her in the face. Nice work. Even though Alex had insisted that she was okay, it really didn’t do anything to assuage Nebula. She had hurt her, even if it was on accident, she felt bad.

”So,” Peter said. “Who’s going to do it?”

”Do what?” Mantis asked.

”Stitch her up.”

”Not me.” Rocket put up his hands defensively. “That’s disgusting.”

”I am Groot.”

”That’s a pass from Rocket and Groot. Drax?” Peter turned to him.

”I am cursed with muscular, strong hands that cannot thread a needle.”

”You just don’t want to, do you?” Gamora said.

”No.”

She groaned. “I’ll do it. You boys can put your feet up.”

”Great. Thanks, Gamora.” Rocket said, not picking up on her sarcasm.

As he walked away, Peter turned his head to Gamora. “Sorry.”

”It’s fine. I know how to do this anyway.”

The others dispersed, and Gamora remained next to Nebula, who had her arms crossed.

Out of all the people to take care of Alex, Gamora was probably the best choice. The rest of those idiots would probably make the problem worse.

Gamora took a seat next to where Alex was still sitting up, but slumped over a bit. She began to move her.

”What are you doing?” Nebula said a little urgently.

Gamora looked up at her, skeptically. “I need her to lie down.”

“Right.” Nebula said a little quietly. “Just be careful.”

”Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.” Gamora seemed to recall the conversation that she and Nebula had a few nights ago. Her face softened.

”You can talk about it, if you want—“

”No.” Nebula replied, voice hard. “Not out here.”

She knew what Gamora was talking about. Ever since she revealed her affections for Alex to her sister, she was relentless. Attempting to offer tips as how to court her. Trying to give suggestions on how to flirt. Flirting? Please. Nebula didn’t flirt.

Even worse was when she asked to talk. About her feelings. It was a one-time thing, that conversation she had with her, and part of Nebula wanted to keep it that way. Just one time. One show of weakness.

But another part wanted to talk more. About how she felt. It was refreshing to not bottle it all in, but for someone who had done nothing but that and almost experienced exclusively negative emotions, that was hard and scary.

It was neither the time nor place to talk about things, because Alex was hurt, and Nebula was concerned.

”...we could bring her somewhere else if you want.” She offered.

”It’s fine. I don’t need to talk about anything.” She lied.

”You sure you’re fine?”

”Yes. Just sew her up already.”

”Okay,” Gamora said. “Now help me rest her head in my lap.”

Nebula stood so quickly the chair scraped across the floor. “I changed my mind. Let’s bring her somewhere else.”

”Alright.” Gamora stood, smiling a little.

Nebula looked to Alex’s body and back up at her sister. “Well?”

”Well what?”

”Can you at least help me carry her?”

”You wanted to move.”

Nebula scowled at her sister, who just gave her a shrug back in a “sorry” kind of way. It was insincere. 

“You live to make my life harder,” Nebula grumbled. She then turned to Alex, and tried to figure out how to pick her up.

Under the arms? No, Nebula couldn’t handle that. Physically, yes. Emotionally, no. Sling over her shoulder? That would hurt her, especially in the state she was in. Under the knees and supporting the back, the way a groom may carry a bride—?

It felt like all of Nebula’s wires short-circuited in that moment, but she collected herself.

She decided to pick her up as if she were giving her a piggyback ride. It was difficult because she couldn’t grab on while dead asleep, and there was a little blood dripping off of her face and onto Nebula’s shoulder, but it worked out fine enough. She began to walk to her own room when Gamora cleared her throat.

”Where are you going?”

”To my room,” Grunted Nebula. “Or do you have an objection to that too?”

”Your room is all the way down the hall,” Gamora remarked. “And Alex’s is the first room down this way.” Gamora jutted put her thumb. “Besides, you don’t want her to bleed on your bedsheets, do you?”

”A little blood never hurt anyone.” Nebula replied, but complied to her sister. It would be safer to take her to her own room. 

As she was walking, a thought crossed Nebula’s mind. She had never been inside of Alex’s room before. She had no clue what it looked like.

And once Gamora opened the door, Nebula drank it all in.

Everything in the room, all of the little decorations and trinkets and art pieces were absolutely her. The drawings she did were plastered on a little cork board on her wall, and she had many different figurines adorning her desk. There were multiple pens, little boxes, and assorted knickknacks scattered all through out the room. There wasn’t a bare space in here.

It was abdsolutely full of useless little things and tiny toys and pictures and cutouts of her art and books and magazines and her phone and multiple chords and wires and mugs and bobby pins and accessories. It was all silly and useless. It was quintessentially Alex.

As Nebula looked on, Gamora cleated her throat. “Set her down.” Gamora said, holding the medical kit. “You’ll get blood on the floor.”

Nebula complied once more, laying her down gently on her own bed. She adjusted her so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable.

Gamora put a clean rag underneath Alex’s wound so no blood would seep into her sheets, and as she started threading the needle, she eyed Nebula.

”So,” she began. “How was the sparring?”

”You can see how it went.” You gestured to Alex’s wound.

”I know.” Gamora got the needle threaded, and began to tie the end off. “But that’s not what I meant.”

Nebula rolled her eyes and turned to Alex’s dresser. All the little things scattered everywhere fascinated her, and she picked up one little figurine. It looked like it was a small yellow rat, with red little cheeks, a zig-zagged tail, and long ears. What an odd creature. She picked up another one in her other hand. It was a tiny little cat-like white animal that had a bow and no mouth.

She set down the creatures, then looked over to her beside table. One of her suits was there, still in its visor form. It was her original— Alex’s favorite. Pacify.

She squat down next to the bed, next to her sister, and picked it up. She remembered what Rocket had said about the bug and searched for it. She hadn’t seen it when she was repairing the suit; how could she have missed it?

”Nebula.” Said Gamora, now beginning to prick Alex’s skin with the needle. “What happened?”

”What do you mean?” Nebula was still observing the visor.

”You two came in, and you were different from when you went out.”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gamora sighed, pulling through the third loop. “If you don’t want to talk about it, just say so.”

”I don’t want to talk about it.”

”Alright.”

Gamora continued to sew, and Nebula stared down at Alex’s face.

She had never seen her like this. Completely unaware. It was unlike her. She was often observant of everything— sometimes. Often, she would be off in her own little world, listening to music. But even then, she would be focused on that. There was no time Nebula had ever seen her when she was utterly clueless of everything.

Alex was perceptive. That was probably where her emotional powers came from. Scratch that— even past the powers, it was who she was. Observant. Able to pick up the smallest things. She was remarkable like that.

She could identify how Nebula was feeling, probably even without her powers. That was also because Nebula was such a novice when it came to emotions.

Nebula sighed, watching the needle go in and out of her skin. It almost unsettled her, but she wouldn’t let someone getting stitched up get the best of her.

”I like seeing you happy.” Gamora said, her eyes not straying from her precise needlework.

”That must be new.”

”I mean it.” Gamora shot back. “I do. When I ask about you, that means I care.”

”I appreciate it,” Nebula turned back to the visor. “But you’re a little late.”

Gamora exhaled and continued to sew. “I’m sorry. I always have been.”

”I know.”

The room was quiet, and Nebula went back to looking around Alex’s room.

She found the odd dual-screen device that Groot liked to play on so much. It was sleek. Nebula haphazardly set it back down, and said “Why do humans keep around so much junk?” She said to break the tension.

”Sentimental value.” Gamora replied, still not looking back. “Peter has a lot of crap in his room, too.”

”Where do the even get these things?” Nebula picked up a little tube. It was plastic, and had a removable cap. She opened it, and there was a gel-like substance inside. The canister said ‘lip balm’.

”Who knows?”

Nebula set it down, then picked up another figurine. It was a white cloaked figure that had an odd blue stick. It was on a plaque that had been worn down, and the label on it just read “ST— ARS”.

”Stars?” Nebula muttered to herself. She set the object back down.

”How did Alex get hurt like this?” Gamora turned her head, stopping her needlework. “I thought you of all people wouldn’t hurt her that badly.”

”It was an accident.” Nebula muttered. “She took us to her pocket dimension, we both went unconscious, and I had a sword in my hand at the time.” She set down a little book called ‘Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’. 

”I believe you.” Gamora continued. “You wouldn’t do this on purpose. As much as I want to knock out Quill when he irritates me, I don’t.”

”Alex isn’t irritating.” Nebula said simply. “She couldn’t be.”

”Well, we all have flaws.”

Silence again as Gamora reached the halfway point in stitching the gash together.

“She’s a little... persistent with the whole feelings thing at times.” Nebula still had her back turned, looking at a small binder full of assorted cards with different creatures on them. “But I haven’t found much else other than that.”

”You’re still early in your relationship.”

”Who said anything about a relationship?” Nebula shut the binder, turning around. 

“Nebula,” Gamora turned her head so she could barely see her out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t worry.”

”I’m not worried about anything. I just want to know what you know.”

”I don’t know anything.” Gamora put up one defensive hand.

”You said it, not me.”

”I’m just speculating.”

”Speculate somewhere else,” Nebula muttered. “There’s nothing to speculate.”

She was resistant to talking, still. And she didn’t want to open up anytime soon. She just wanted to get Alex fixed up and move on with her life.

”She feels the same way, doesn’t she?”

Nebula flinched, not moving. “How—?”

”I know,” Gamora said, “because you looked almost exactly how I looked when I told Peter how I felt. Save for the fear of her getting hurt, I saw it as soon as I noticed you holding hands.”

Nebula swallowed, turning back around. Gamora had stopped sewing.

”I...” Nebula’s face got hot. “We aren’t really... exclusive. Yet.”

”That’s fine.” Gamora said. “It was like that way with Peter and I for awhile.”

Nebula exhaled, slowly, and crossed her arms. As much as she hated to say this, it was true. “We really are similar, aren’t we?”

”Two dangerous, powerful women who fell for some goons from Earth.” Gamora chuckled, turning back around to Alex. “Sounds pretty similar to me.”

As much as she also hated to say, Nebula liked these moments of connection between her and her sister. It was a time when it felt like the competition in her really quelled. Of course, the two were no longer competing. They both agreed on hating Thanos, and no longer needed to fight each other. But, excusing the wordplay, it was hardwired into Nebula to try and be better than her sister. That meant showing no weakness.

But with the introduction of Alex into Nebula’s life, everything changed. She stopped viewing emotions as a weakness. And, if she could say so herself, Nebula was becoming better at expressing her emotions. She was already talking more and untangling her complicated feelings, thanks to Alex.

Her face burned again. She really did like her.

Nebula smiled, just a little, then turned back around to Alex’s desk. Amongst two other trinkets (a button pin that said “I am not throwing away my shot” and a small booklet emblazoned with the word ‘Playbill’) she spotted something. The sketchbook that she had drawn Nebula in was sitting there. She contemplated opening it and looking inside, but she hesitated. Was that a breach of privacy?

She snuck a quick peek to Gamora, who was still focused on the stitching. She then opened the book, just for a quick peek. Her curiosity got the better of her.

The first page was full of little cartoonish drawings of Alex. She could tell that it was her because she was drawn inside of all her suits. She condensed each suit very well into such little forms. They were adorable.

She turned the page, and there were more realistic drawings of the suits. The sharp angles and shades were impressive, and they were molded into multiple action shots.

Nebula turned the page again, and saw herself. The illustration that Alex drew for her a little while back. Her stomach flipped, and she turned the page again.

There were some realistic drawings of the Guardians this time— Mantis with a little smile, Drax’s hand holding a highly detailed knife, and multiple sketches of Rocket’s guns and Quill’s mask. She really was observant.

Flippibg through the sketchbook, Nebula saw more and more drawings of her, ranging from the cartoonish style to the more realistic one. Some of them were silly, like the cartoony ones of her pouting with her arms crossed. She wasn’t partial to those. But when Alex got it right, she got it right. The angles of her realistic face almost flattered her, and every fold of her clothes and stance that was on the paper seemed true to life.

Nebula wasn’t one to feel pride in her appearance. But looking at this art... it made her feel good.

She heard a groan, and Nebula flipped the sketchbook shut instinctively. It was Alex, waking up. Nebula rushed over, Gamora scooting out of the way, giving the two some air.

”You’re alright,” Nebula breathed. 

“Yeah.” Alex grunted, waking up very slowly. “You didn’t have to worry so bad, it was just a cut...”

Alex groaned again, bringing her hand out to scratch at her new stitches. Nebula immediately swatted her hand away. “Don’t touch those.” She chided. “They’re still fresh.”

”God, it hurts worse...” Alex switched to digging the heels of her palms into her eyes instead. “That needle was disinfected, right? It better have been.”

”It was. At least the wound won’t get any bigger.”

”Yeah,” groaned Alex again. “Thanks, Neb... some first date, huh?”

Nebula’s breath caught in her throat as Alex sat up. She didn’t even seem to realize that Gamora was in the room until she looked to her left and saw her standing there, leaning against the wall. Her face turned white as a sheet.

”Uh,” was all she could say. “I mean,”

”Don’t worry.” Gamora waved her off. “I already know.”

”Geez!” Alex huffed. “Is there anyone that doesn’t have their nose in our business?”

”Welcome to the Guardians.” Nebula responded. Alex laughed, and Gamora could see Nebula brighten at that.

”I mean,” Alex fumbled, looking for a bright side. “One less person to come out to, I guess.”

Gamora shrugged. “You could say that.”

“And now I’m better.” Alex winced at the movement of her jaw. “For the most part.”

”Put some ice on it, you’ll be fine.” Said Gamora, making her way to the door. “I’ll take my leave.”

Before anyone could say anything, Gamora had left, leaving Nebula and Alex alone.

“Well,” Alex said standing up as well. “I’m gonna go throw away this bloody rag.”

”Sounds about right.” Nebula said. “But...”

Alex stopped in the middle of picking up Said rag. “Yeah?”

”I... I don’t want all this to be our first date.” Nebula said, her eyes looking everywhere but her. “This was a disaster.”

”Are you kidding? This is going to be a great story. Plus, I got a cool scar out of it.”

Nebula winced a little. “Still. I’d rather not have this be our first date.”

She hesitated. “Alright. How about a re-do?”

Nebula looked up at her. “A re-do?”

”A do over. We just have a first date all over again. We could...” Alex snapped her fingers. “Let’s watch that movie. Like you planned.”

Nebula nodded. “That sounds better.”

”Just promise you won’t slice me open this time.”

”I promise.”

”Cool.” Alex smiled. “Oh, uh, sorry about your jacket too.”

”It’s fine.” Nebula picked up said jacket, examining its stains. “I’ve had more blood on it than this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can identify all the little references in this you will get a reward of one mini-chapter in this story of your choice! First to answer is the winner!


	15. Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Nebula are anxious to prepare your date.

You never really knew how it felt to have your crush crushing on you as well, and now that it was happening, life felt even more like a dream.

Of course, it was hardly real to begin with. You were a Guardian of the Galaxy, no longer some rando from Earth. You were on an intergalactic space ship with aliens, saving the universe. You had five super suits that amplified the powers you already had. Every day, you went to new planets and did little things to help people.

You were picking up more jobs recently. It still wasn’t of the galaxy-saving caliber, like your title may have implied, but you still enjoyed the work you did. The team was answering distress signals, recovering more lost artifacts, or sometimes just doing whatever they felt like. Recently, you had travelled to a planet where the only thing you all did was gamble— well, Rocket gambled. He won a bet, then stole some guy’s eye. As much as you tried to stop him, he didn’t listen.

The everyday things you did now would have been astronomical to the you of three and a half months ago. This life you were living now was extraordinary. You were a little more strong, a little more fast, a little more refined and cool. You were a space hero.

But now, all of that paled in comparison now that Nebula liked you.

Since the “confession”, your emotional state had been very up. You were almost always smiling, even though the cut on your face would ache when you did. Looking at Nebula now was enough to almost make you laugh with joy.

You didn’t outwardly treat her like a girlfriend, and she didn’t either. Both of you were new to this, and neither of you were at that point. But Nebula would find almost any excuse to be near to you, and you would find any excuse to make contact with her.

When Peter was briefing the Guardians on a mission, you would stand next to one another. When eating, you would sit by each other. Nebula would brush your shoulder as you walked by, and you would smile at her more often. Every single one of these little interactions made your heart soar.

You could feel it in her, a wanting to be more open and close to you— but she was still very early in her emotional journey, and having a significant other was a big step. She was resistant. So you were careful. You gave her space.

Even so, you could feel Nebula express her love in her own, Nebula-ish way.

She would look at you a little longer than normal, and accept your little smiles, returning them with a smile of her own. She would find you from across the room and exchange glances with you, and when you introduced her to your telepathic conversation, she was blown away.

 _You can read my mind, too?_ She had asked.

 _No_. You replied. _It’s just like talking, but private._

_You’re full of surprises._

_I aim to please._

This would result in prolonged stares and laughter at nothing— you could have full conversations without saying a word.

Nebula appreciated the privacy. It was a way to talk to you without having to pull you to the side and draw suspicion. Once you opened the telepathic door from your mind to hers, you could say whatever she wanted to you without making a sound, or having anyone else hear.

These little comments were things that she wanted to say to you, only you, because she trusted you. They seemed ridiculous in her mind to say out loud, but to you, they were normal. 

You usually didn’t like using your telepathy. It felt invasive. But now that Nebula actually wanted to talk to you in this way, you felt less bad about using it— and actually looked forward to doing it.

Right now, you were sitting in the hull of the ship, having  conversation with her— actually speaking this time.

”How’s the cut?” Nebula asked.

”Healing up nicely.” You tapped it. The stitches were already beginning to fade— they were the kind that dissolved over time. “Still aches sometimes though.”

Nebula looked a little upset. You could tell she was still sorry about it.

”You don’t need to worry,” you said. “I was the one who knocked you out in the first place.”

”It sounds much more violent when you say it like that.”

”It does, doesn’t it? But saying ‘I was the one who took you to my pocket dimesnion’ is too wordy.”

Nebula hummed.

”You don’t have a problem with being too violent, so you?” You joked.

“It’s just odd when it’s you.”

”Because I’m a softy pacifist who’s strongest power is putting people in time-out?”

”Exactiy.” Nebula turned her head towards you and smiled.

”Well, Don’t be so sure.” You smiled back. “I’ve been working out more, and with this new scar, I’m practically a new person.”

”Oh no.” Nebula joked.

You laughed, looking back out into the vast expanse of space in front of you.

”So,” you scratched at your cut a little bit. “When do you want that date to be?”

Nebula glared at you, cutting off what you were saying. You flinched, and switched to telepathy.

 _Sorry_ , you said.

_It’s alright. I just don’t want to risk it._

_With the crew we’ve got, I understand._

_About the date..._ Nebula responded. _I don’t know._

_I don’t really know what to do anyway. A movie sounded good, but its not like we even have a VCR up here._

Nebula furrowed her brow at you.

 _It’s a thing that plays movies,_ you explained.

 _Ah_.

_It’s a bummer, because I know some good movies I want to show you. I think you may actually like them._

_What a foriegn concept,_ Nebula snarked, but in a friendly way.

 _Any date we may have will probably be unorthodox._ You shrugged. _We don’t have a lot of normal options, at least by Earth standards of dates._

_Nothing we do together will be normal._

_Do you want normal?_

_Never._

You smiled.

Nebula allowed herself a small smile back towards you, averting her eyes slightly.

You put out your hands towards her, still resting it on the armrest, palm upwards. You were offering your hand to hold. It was such a little request, but it felt incredibly bold.

Nebula look down at it, then back at you.

”It’s to hold,” you jokingly said.

”I know.” Nebula looked over her shoulder.

”Only if you want.” You said out loud.

She faltered, just for a second. Her hand twitched, considering reaching out towards you. Slowly but surely, her hand lowered, and settled into yours. You gently laced your fingers between hers, and smiled proudly at her.

”Baby steps.” You grinned.

Nebula nodded, scratching at her face to hide her blush again.

You looked at her, her aura once again complex. It was something that came to you without you looking for it. Not even trying, You could read it like a children’s book. And what you were reading was that Nebula was getting more shy— either shy or nervous, it was hard to differentiate.

She certainly wasn’t the sheepish type. Not by a long shot. She hardly seemed to care what people thought, but your relationship was something that she cared about a lot more than usual. This wasn’t all too surprising, to be honest. As she began to mellow a bit more, she became more bashful in her interactions, smiling more, and not snapping as much as usual.

You liked Nebula like this, more open— but you also liked her when she was feisty. That’s why you fell in love with her in the first place. Her brash, hard, attentive form was something you admired, and even though she was softening, you still loved that strong and stoic persona.

She felt... pressured. You could see it in her aura, coating all her other feelings in a thick film. It was different from the shyness of being caught with you by the other Guardians. That was a different thing entirely. It was... a pressure to conform. To change. To mold herself into something she wasn’t.

That explained why there wasn’t much banter between the two of you. She was trying to be kinder to you. She was trying not to hurt your feelings, and attempting not to ruin the relationship. It made you want to laugh, but in a sad way.

You didn’t want her to feel like she had to make herself soft. 

“You’ve been less cruel lately.” You squeezed her hand playfully, staring into her deep dark eyes.

”Sorry?”

”You’re becoming a lot softer.”

”That’s not something you tell a former assassin.” Nebula hardened a little, taking offense.

”No, sorry—“ you shook your head. “That came out wrong.”

Nebula looked at you, expectant for a real answer.

”How... how do you think you have to act to be in a relationship?”

”...Not as ‘cruel’ as you said I was.”

”Hey,” you said gently. “I didn’t start liking you when you started being more open.”

Nebula perked up a little at that. From her aura, it seemed like that was news to her.

”I started liking you when you growled at me to get out of your way.” You scratched the nape of your neck, a little embarrassed. “I like a girl who could kill me at any moment.”

Nebula laughed haughtily. “Specific.”

”So,” you cleared your throat. “You don’t have to feel like you need to be more restrained to me.”

”Do you miss it?” Nebula joked back, smirking.

”Sadist.”

”Masochist.”

”I love when we use our pet names for each other.”

Nebula just chuckled this time.

”There you go. Dont laugh at jokes that aren’t funny.”

”I won’t.” Nebula responded. “I’ll be as mean to you as possible.”

”Promise?”

She squeezed your hand, staring out into space, smiling. You continued to look into her eyes.


	16. Couples Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Nebula have your first fight.
> 
> ...against someone else.

It hadn’t even been a week since your face got sliced open when you had to go back into the fray again.

The Nova Corps has reported to Peter saying that there was a group of a hooligans on the loose, who had recently escaped from prison. They were apparently armed, dangerous, and on the run. These criminals weren’t something to be scoffed at— they had accounts of arson and homicide under their belts. To be honest, you didn’t think this was a job for the Guardians until you heard about how bad they were.

Part of you was excited for another big-time mission, another part of you was lazy. But you couldn’t afford laziness, you were here to protect the galaxy.

The Guardians were ordered to bring them back to prison alive.

”Or,” the officer calling said. He was on a holographic screen that you still couldn’t get over. It was so cool. “You could recruit them into your little band of misfits.”

”We’re not all convicted felons, man.” Peter sighed. 

“A good majority of you have been in maximum security. Over and out, Star-Man.”

Before Peter could respond, the officer hung up, his face disappearing. 

“Star-Lord.” Peter muttered.

You pat him on the shoulder teasingly. He brushed you off.

”Well,” Peter grunted, standing up from his seat. “You all heard him. Looks like we’re going to find some criminals.”

”Aren’t we always.” Rocket grumbled, walking to the hull of the ship. “We better be gettin’ paid this time.”

”What do you mean, ‘this time?’” You asked. “We got paid last time.”

Rocket scoffed. “Not nearly enough. Credits practically spent themselves.”

”You spent it all on gambling.” Gamora crossed her arms and said.

”They should have accounted for my investments!” Rocket protested.

”what—“ you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Rocket, they _hired_ us.”

”My point exactly.”

”That doesn’t—“ you groaned. “Whatever. Where is it we’re going?” You turned back around to Peter, not ready to take Rocket’s crap so early.

”Nearby planet. It’s uninhabited, so that’s good, at least. They hijacked a ship but crashed it, so they’re trapped. We’ve got them cornered.”

You nodded. “Great. I think I’m ready to take this one.”

”You sure you’re feeling up to it?” Peter gestured to the cut.

”Yeah, it’s healed up a lot more.” You scratched at it. It hadn’t completely scarred over yet, and the stitches weren’t even close to fading. But Sometimes you forgot it was there. “I think I’m ready to get back out there.”

“Great.” He clapped his hands together. “So, we all coming?”

”Not today, Star-Man.” Rocket said to Peter. “Groot and I need an off day.”

”Groot never does anything!” Peter exclaimed, gesturing to Groot, who was invested in your 3DS. “Why would he need a break— no, actually, why would you? We have done practically nothing for the past, like, three days.”

”I’m just not feelin’ it” was the only explanation Rocket offered.

”I am Groot.” Groot concurred.

”Are you serious?” Peter raised his eyebrows.

”Serious as not wanting to get blown up by arsonists.” Rocket laughed. “I’m not crazy.”

”Be lazy if you want.” Gamora said to the raccoon. “You just won’t get paid then.”

”What? C’mon.”

”Did you expect to do nothing and get paid?”

”I at least expected some kind of royalties because, y’know, I’m a Guardian of the Galaxy.”

”If you don’t do your job, you’re just a raccoon that can talk.”

”Hey!” Rocket snapped. “Enough with the raccoon stuff! Geez!” He turned your way now. “If you wanna talk about lazy, then look at Five Suits!”

”What?” You prompted.

”You’ve done nothing for awhile either!”

”I agree,” Drax interjected. “You have done nothing.”

”My face got sliced open, Drax. I got stitches.”

”So what?” Drax shrugged. “You were lightly stabbed.”

”Lightly— Okay.” You sighed. “I was planning on going on the mission anyway.”

”Great! You can go then, and I’ll watch the ship.”

”No.” Peter said.

”What? C’mon. Mantis will be all alone, and you know how incompetent she is.”

”He is right,” Mantis said with a smile on her face. “I am incompetent.”

”Don’t say— Rocket, don’t say stuff like that to her!” You interjected. “You’re not incompetent, Mantis.”

”Nebula normally watches the ship.” Peter crossed his arms. “So you don’t have an excuse to plop you little raccoon ass down and not do anything.”

”Oh yeah? Nebula can come with you guys then.”

Gamora furrowed her brow. “Why would she want to do that?”

”She’s become awful chummy lately.” Rocket bared his teeth in a grin. “I think she’d be up to it.”

”Why do you want her to go?” Peter asked.

”I would normally say that I want the ship to myself, but that’s not me. That’s selfish.”

”Sounds about right.” You muttered.

”I’m just concerned with the welfare of my teammates,” Rocket continued. “And Nebula’s becomes a lot less murdery. But she’s still just the right amount of murdery to take on some criminals.”

“I’m not sure she’d want to tag along.” Peter insisted.

“I’m sure she’d be fine as long as Five Suits is going.” Rocket eyed you.

Yikes. Everyone looked directly at you. You mentally reviewed what everyone knew about you and Nebula as to not spill anything.

Gamora knew it all, basically. She knew that you were gay and had feelings for Nebula. She knew Nebula liked you back, and that the two of you were in an undefined relationship. That was about as much as she could know. She was 100% privy to the situation. So yeah. There was basically nothing to lose there.

Peter, on the other hand, knew roughly 50% of the equation. That you had feelings for Nebula. He was unaware of how she felt in all of this, so he was almost aware of what Rocket was talking about. 

Rocket probably knew almost the least of what was going on, but somehow he was the most spot on in what he was saying. He knew you were gay, but you had no clue he picked up on you liking Nebula. Or was he just teasing? You couldn’t tell if he was sincere and hinting at the fact he knew, or he was just being the teasing Rocket he always was.

Mantis was also aware that you were gay and liked Nebula, but you were a little less worried about her. You were still under the impression that she had forgotten, or that she was just better at keeping secrets than you thought. Still, the look she was giving you right now didn’t really help cement that idea.

Drax and Groot were clueless to what was happening. However, if Rocket knew about you and Nebula, what would stop those two from figuring it out— or hearing about it second-hand? 

You coughed, wanting to subvert the tension in any way possible.

”I,” You began. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

”Please!” Rocket laughed. “Nebby’s not as ‘I’ll stab you if you look at me’ as she used to be. She's more like ‘I’ll stab you a little softer than I would have stabbed you before’. Which brings me back to the ‘Just murdery enough’ point.”

”What does this have to do with me?”

”You’re the emotions one.”

”Mantis also has emotion stuff!” You pointed at her, and she waved  at you. You quickly waved back, not wanting to be rude.

”Yeah, well.” Rocket scoffed, looking you dead in the eye. “I think you’re peddling Neb some different kinds of emotions.” He tapped the side of his snout twice.

Geez. He did know. And he was being a real douche about it.

You weren’t entirely sure what to do. Your face was hot, and everyone seemed to be staring you down all at once, Rocket had his eyebrows raised, and a hint of smile began to spread on his face. Crap. He knew, and you knew that he knew, and he knew that you knew that he knew.

Time to defuse the situation. 

”Uh,” You said. “I’ll ask her, then.”

Smooth moves, 007. Real discreet.

You made a swift departure down the hall to her room, cursing yourself for not coming up with something more normal sounding. This one was really blown. How You would be outed in no time with this track record. How were you going to break this to Nebula?

You knocked on her door. “Nebula?” You asked. “It’s Alex.”

She opened the door, and smiled. “Hey.”

”Hi,” it was little moments like these that took your breath away. But you didn’t have time to get flustered. “So, uh— we have a new mission.”

”Joy. I’ll have to ship to myself, then.”

”actually...” you drew in a breath. Rocket, Groot, and Mantis are staying back.”

”Mantis and Groot I understand,” she scoffed. “Why Rocket?”

”Honestly? I think it’s to get you out of the ship.”

She raised an eyebrow at you.

”Yeah...” you drew in another breath, scratching at the nape of your neck. “He hinted that... he may know something about us.” You lowered your voice.

Nebula made a face at you saying your voice needed to go lower, or you shouldn’t use your voice at all.

 _What should I do?_ You said to her, telepathically.

 _Ideally, kill him._ Nebula instantly responded. _But you can’t. So I will._

_Please don’t. You don’t need to kill him._

_Yes, I do. If he knows, I will._

_Killing people doesn’t solve your problems. It just makes people dead._

_What else can I do?_

_Almost literally anything else?_ You widened your eyes. _Just come out with us. Besides, with you working with us, it’ll be over quicker._

Nebula hesitated.

 _Hey,_ you responded to her silence. _Remember when you said nothing we do will ever be orthodox?_

Nebula nodded.

_This could be our first official date._

She looked away for a second, then back at you. _Would you really enjoy a date like that?_

 _As horribly gross and sappy as this sounds,_ you smiled. _I’d enjoy any kind of date with you, and if I’m apprehending criminals by your side, that’s the dream._

Nebula chuckled.

 _Besides,_ you continued. _I know you wouldn’t want to share dinner or go on a walk or something. This seems much more your speed._

_You know me._

_But you won’t be able to get your urge for killing out. We need to bring them back alive._

_I’ll see what I can do._

You smiled.

“So,” you said aloud now. “You’ll come.”

”It’s a date. Let me get my swords.”

Absolutely one of the best things that could be said after “it’s a date” is irrefutably “let me get my swords”. You grinned wide as she shut the door, apparently getting ready.

You walked out, feeling better, but then you immediately got all red again when everyone was staring at you the moment you came into view.

”She’s coming,” you choked out. You tried to glare at Rocket. “Happy?”

”Unimaginably.” He snickered.

* * *

 Soon enough, the planet was in your sights. Rocket was still tossing you looks every couple of minutes, but you just didn’t engage. You just stared out into space until Peter pointed out where you would land.

It was a small planet, completely covered in foliage. Green was all you could see on it.

You turned to Peter. “You didn’t say that this was a jungle moon.”

”It’s not a moon. It’s a planet.” Drax chimed in.

”I— Yeah. My mistake.” You just stared out at the uninhabited planet. “So it’s completely uninhabited?”

”Except for those guys and us soon, yes.”

”We’re going to search the entire planet for them?”

”It’s small enough so that it can be traversed in its entirety,” Gamora said. “And they only landed recently. If they see the ship, they’ll come.”

”Or run.” You replied.

”Either way, we’ll find them.”

”Alright then.” You said. “Into the jungle, I guess.”

”You also got a problem with a little bit of jungle, Five Suits?” Rocket asked.

”No,” you said. “This is just a first for me.”

”Good thing you’re staying back, Rocket.” Gamora interjected before he could say anything. “You’d be eaten alive as soon as we landed.”

”Yes,” Drax responded. “He would be a light snack for the creatures within.”

”I am Groot.” Groot agreed.

”Yeah, well, if I did come out, all those gross aliens would get is a mouthful of blaster. But they won’t, because I’m staying back.” Rocket sneered.

You chuckled. “I’ll grab a suit. I think I’ll break out that fifth one today.”

”Finally. You will have untilized all of your powers.” Drax groaned. “It took you so long.”

”I know, I know.” You apologized, walking away. “I love the dramatic tension.”

”More like dramatic irritation!” Rocket called after you.

Closing your door, you turned to your dresser. You stored all your suits in portable mode in the top drawer. Pulling said drawer open, you looked at the final mask. It was similar to the Peacepounder in that it was a dark visor that covered your whole face. The wings on either side looked a little like cat ears.

You picked it up and put it over your face. Releasing a breath, you clicked it on. Finally, you had put on number five.

Instantly, the suit sprung to life. Coils shot out of the notches on either side of your head, and immediately enveloped any exposed skin on your head and neck. The coils were a flexible metallic material, and were cold to the touch. They shot out further around your body, covering you entirely. It was like a morphsuit that moved as you did— the coils flexed and compressed with your movements.

Then the second layer came. In moments, a futuristic-looking breastplate formed from the springs, their slinky-looking pattern dissolving to mold into a solid defensive outfit. The coils on your arms also shaped and hardened into protective gear, another oddly futuristic looking piece of your suit. It was in segments that cut off at your shoulder, elbow, and wrist. 

The coils on your stomach, back, and hips hardened again to form a smooth yet solid protective piece of armor. It segmented at any part where your body could stretch or bend. This seemed like something more focused on speed and action.

But then, before you could react or even fully look at your new suit, the visor lit up. There was a shape, but since it was right up against your face, you couldn’t tell what it was. It was glowing blue.

You turned to your mirror, and on the visor was a “?”

A question mark, accurately displaying how you felt right now. The visor also seemed to be an LED screen. The lights didn’t impair your vision— it just seemed like an outward way to express your emotions without having to roll up your helmet.

You tried to actually do so— your visor did not roll up this time. It just stayed in place. You were oddly surprised at this.

The “?” Turned into a “!” You noticed this in the mirror, and laughed. 

As the “!” faded, You now examined your suit. As you turned around and moved, you could see the coils forming and reforming to fit your body every millisecond. Apparently this was made to keep a flexible yet strong exterior that’s constantly molding and changing to how you looked and were moving. Incredible. Tony really outdid himself.

You smiled. This was a good one.

You walked out, and who did you see first but Nebula. She was leaning on the wall, examining her swords. At the sound of you shutting your door, she looked up, and her eyes swept up and down your body.

”Nice suit.”

”They’re all nice, aren’t they?” You tried to respond coolly, but it sounded more like you were gushing about your new toys.You blushed— and apparently, the suit did the same. Across the mask; you could see “////“— what looked to be cartoonish blush lines.

Nebula laughed. “This one’s as expressive as you are.”

”I—“ You stuttered. “Yeah. It is, isn’t it?”

”Now you’ll be able to tell the enemy if he hurt your feelings.” She said, voice coming deep from her throat.

”I would have done that anyway.” You teases back. “Now it’s just more efficient.”

”Well, I hope you’re ready to deal with this.” Nebula said, going back to examining her sword.

”Yeah?” You asked. “Why?”

”This is the first job you’ve been on where we aren’t dealing with thieves, or lost pets or something.” Nebula glanced at you. “These are homocidal maniacs.”

The thought actually hadn’t crossed your mind yet that these were real criminals. Sure, you knew they were bad people that had to be taken down— but until this moment it’s hadn’t quite clicked with you that these were dangerous people. Maybe it’s because you were well acquainted with a team of ex-convicts that it hadn’t registered with you yet.

These were people that could actually hurt or possibly kill you.

You shuddered. 

“Yeah...” you said, suddenly sick to your stomach. “Murderers. Thanks for that.”

”Don’t worry.” Nebula turned to you now. “If something goes wrong, I’ll just kill them.”

”But the Nova Corps—“

”I’d rather have the Corps on my back even more than they are now,” she interrupted. “Than have you dead.”

It was literally “I would rather have you alive and be nagged at than dead” but it still made you happy.

”Aw.” You gushed. “Thanks, Nebula.”

”I’d be a bad teammate if I just left you to die. Besides, if you died, the Corps would probably nag us even more.” She held her blade up to the light, looking at the lights in the ship flint off of it.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special.” You scoffed.

Nebula sheathed her swords, and when looking you in the face, held back a snicker.

The LEDs had lit up again, and you could tell that they were in the shape of a heart. You blushed, embarrassed, but couldn’t help but laugh too.

”What an idiot programmer.” Nebula smirked.

You heard footsteps, and thankfully, the heart vanished. Gamora rounded the corner and saw you talking with Nebula. She stopped and smiled at the two of you.

”We’ve landed.” She said.

”Lovely.” Nebula responded dryly.

”Ready to go?” She asked.

You nodded. “Yup. Let’s head out.” 

Nebula nodded silently at her sister and walked by her, and you couldn’t help but watch her go. You kind of hung back. Gamora seemed to pick up on this too, because she lifted an eyebrow at you.

”Alex.” She said.

”Hm?”

The blush lines were back, and you just realized. You coughed awkwardly.

”I, uh—“

”You don’t have to say anything.” Gamora put up a hand.

”Okay. Cool.” You cleared your throat. “Let’s head out, then?”

”Is this a first date for you two?” She said before you could even take a step.

You urgently shushed her, peeking down the hallway to see if anyone heard.

”Um—“ your voice was thick. “Not technically our first. It’s more like a do-over. Of sorts. Yes. It’s not really the ideal, but, uh—“

”Listen.” Gamora said, angling her body towards you. “I love my sister. I really do. I care for her deeply.”

You stayed put, listening intently. Where was Gamora going with this? “Yeah, I-I care about her too.”

”You’re a good person, and a good fit for my sister.”

”Aw, thanks Gamor—“

”But,” She said, voice cold and hard as ice. “Even though you cannot hurt her physically, you can hurt her emotionally. And if you hurt my sister, I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand.”

You swallowed. Gamora was almost looming over You now.

”I will not take any harm you do to her lightly.” She finished, voice quiet but sharp as a knife. “Understood?”

You nodded vigorously.

Gamora leaned back now, standing normally. “Good. Let’s go.”

When she turned around, you shivered.

* * *

 Stepping out of the ship was surreal. The trees and vines and plants and even the dirt was nothing like you expected. It wasn’t Earthlike, and you didn’t know why you expected it to be so. Rather, the vines were thicker and had layers to them. The bark on the trees was odd and foreign, and you couldn’t even begin to describe the weird texture of the dirt.

All the other planets you had been to so far had at least been inhabited, so that familiarized you with them a little. Being on a deserted alien planet with such odd wildlife really cemented for you that you were in space.

You swallowed as you stepped off of the platform of the ship, and your feet touched the ground. The dirt was almost sandlike.

There were flowers and other beautiful plants blooming everywhere, splattering the strange, off-color greens and browns surrounding you. Peter was saying something, but you couldn’t help but stare at all the wildlife. It really was finally settling into you that this was an alien planet, where you were looking for alien criminals.

Wild.

Rocket presses the button to shut the hatch, and sarcastically waved goodbye at you. You waved goodbye at him genuinely, because that was the kind of nice person you were.

“Alex?” Peter asked. “You cool?”

Your screen lit up with a “!” and you turned to Quill. “Yeah. Sorry, I was just... checking out the scenery.”

”We can be tourists later.” Peter looked at a little device in his hand. “We’ve got three dudes we need to look for. We will capture them with minimal death applied.”

”Sounds good.”

”What do they look like?” Drax asked in complete seriousness.

”Dude, they are the only other people on this planet.” Peter said.

”That doesn’t answer my question.”

”If they don’t look like us, them kill them.” Nebula brandished her sword. “I think that’s the general vibe of this mission.”

”Big yikes. Don’t do that.” Peter said.

”Just take down anyone that’s not a Guardian.” Gamora said to Drax. “Just to be safe.”

”Fantastic. I’m ready to kill.”

”Wh—stop talking about killing these guys.” Peter said.

Drax groaned, sheathing his knives. You could feel legitimate anger coming off of him. You shuddered— Drax has never had any real emotional reactions like this. Looks like he really wanted to kill today.

”Let’s just go.” Gamora looked over to Nebula and you. “Peter and I will take the West. Nebula, Alex, you take the east.”

”What about me?” Drax asked.

You looked at Peter and Gamora. You quickly touched a finger to your nose in a “Not-it” motion, and Peter did the same. Even though your nose wasn’t exposed, you did it, and you got a smudge mark on your visor.

”I called not it first.” You said.

”No way.” Peter replied.

”Yes I did!”

”You’re not even touching your nose!”

Gamora sighed. “Drax, you can handle being on your own.”

”I will single-handedly destroy them.” Drax pulled out his knives, and then looked at you, for some reason. For approval?

”Cool.” You gave him a thumbs up. “We’re all squared away. Let’s go.”

Gamora nodded, and you whispered. “thank you”. She whispered back “hurt her and I’ll kill you”.

You nodded bitterly, then turned around, Nebula already walking in front of you. The five of you had finally dispersed, with Peter and Gamora walking off together, and Drax hacking loudly at all the foliage with his blades around him to clear a path.

You released a heavy breath. Man. Shaky start to the date, but you could salvage it.

”Okay.” You clapped your hands together. “Let’s find some criminals.”

”That’s the plan.” Nebula responded, blades already drawn.

As she walked, she swiped at vines and low hanging branches. With every slice, they immediately tore as if they were wet tissue paper. It made you shiver how effortless she was.

”At least this d—“

Nebula glared at you before you could even finish the word ‘date’. The two of you were alone in a jungle that had less than 10 people on it, and she didn’t even want you to say the word ‘date’ out loud. You swallowed.

”At least,” you began again. “This is a common... uh, activity.”

”Seatching through a jungle to find escaped convicts?” Nebula asked. “You must get out a lot.”

”Ha, no.” You responded. “I mean taking a walk. Usually they’re in parks, but... this could be classified as a park, in the loosest sense.”

Nebula just hummed in response.

”So,” you tried to keep the conversation going. “What are you going to spend your money on?”

”The money?”

”From this job.”

Nebula looked forward. “If you had asked me that a couple months ago, I’d have a much different answer.”

You were a little confused, but she kept talking.

”The Guardians already provide the food and living space I need. So I don’t think I need the money for anything.”

”Really?” You asked. “You wouldn’t buy anything?”

”Kraglin asked me what I would do with some money I got a while back,” Nebula responded, turning her head. “I told him I would buy all the warfleets I could afford to hunt and kill my sister, then torture my father in perfect succession.”

Your LED visor lit up with “...”, and you didn’t respond. You weren’t really sure what to say to that.

”Then he suggested I instead buy a nice hat, or some jewelry. Something to make the other girls go ‘ooh, that’s nice’.” She mimicked his crackly voice.

You laughed. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

”It isn’t. I’m not particularly one for hats.” She stepped over a large root that was in the way, and you followed suit, less gracefully.

”Well,” you suggested. “You wouldn’t even get some new clothes now?”

”No.” she hesitated. “Why?”

”You wear...” you looked up and down her body. “A lot of leather.”

”What do you mean?” She stopped walking and turned towards you now.

”I’m not saying it’s a bad look or anything!” You exclaimed. “I mean, I like the leather. Really. I do. You look great. But... don’t you get uncomfortable?”

”It’s fine. I have other clothes.”

”Really? Because I have never seen you in anything other than that outfit.”

”They’re all duplicates of the same outfit.”

”You’re kidding.”

She smirked. “I am.” She turned and continued to walk. “But I don’t have much of a taste in fashion, and it’s not like I need to impress anyone, so I’m fine in this.”

”You need some relaxing clothes.” You followed her, jogging up next to her to close the space between you. “Like sweatpants or something. Or at least jeans.” You gasped.

”What?”

”I just imagined you in a dress and I think I might die.” You breathed.

Nebula scoffed. “I’m not one for dresses.”

”You need to put on something other than leather!” You insisted. “For your comfort. Shake up your look a little bit.”

”You’re kidding.” Nebula said dryly.

”I’m not. You would look great in a t-shirt. Or some nice shorts.”

She rolled her eyes and continued to walk forward. “Enough about me. What about you?”

”What would I get?” You thought about it.

”Another suit, perhaps?” Nebula filled the silence.

”Ha ha! No.” You laughed. “I’m just getting accustomed to this one... and even the others, a little bit. I haven’t even named this one yet.”

”Do you know what it can do?”

”Honestly? No clue.”

”You should figure that out.”

”Yeah...” you sucked in air through your teeth. “I’ll get to that.”

Nebula scoffed.

”Well,” you continued. “Would you really not buy anything?”

Nebula hesitated. “Maybe some new swords. Or possibly a nice end table to put in my room.”

You raised your eyebrows at that one, your LEDs lit up a “?” Nebula noticed this and shook her head. “I’m kidding. But maybe I will get something more to decorate my room.”

”Yeah?”

”The candle you gave me is nice and all,” Nebula turned to look at you. “But it looks lonely.”

”How kind of you to think about the feelings of your candle.”

Nebula laughed a little.

”You should buy something nice for yourself. And not to impress other girls.” You mustered up the courage to make a little joke. “I would get jealous.

Nebula laughed a little more this time at that one. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

”Really, though.” You insisted, playfully punching her on the shoulder. “Treat yourself.”

You looked around to find a flower to give to her as said ‘treat’. You spotted one— an alien specimen (shocker) that was one big, almost glowing blue bloom. You smiled, picked it, and sneakily put it behind her left ear. Your LEDs lit up with the heart again, and Nebula looked at it, surprised, and turned to look at you.

”See? You look so pretty.” You almost giggled.

Nebula quickly snatched the flower and crushed it in her robotic hand.

Your LEDs quickly changed into a “?!” And you flinched. Why would she do that?

”I appreciate the sentiment,” she dropped the crushed flowers remains to the ground. “But that was a Trycopithianth Sargonizus.”

”Sorry?”

”They’re deadly and can infect organic materials the come in contact with it.” She immediately snatched the hand you picked the flower in, examining every side of it. You got surprised by this suddenly outburst.

”Did it touch your skin?” Nebula asked urgently.

”N-no.” You assured her. Your hand was entirely gloved. “Did it touch you?”

”No.” She responded. “It only touched the metal casing on my head.”

You sighed, the LEDs no longer flashing. “Thank god... I am so sorry about that.”

”It’s alright.” Nebula said, her voice a little softer than normal. “You didn’t know.”

Her hand lingered on yours, and the blush lines appeared on your face once more. She stared into them; then let go. She cleared her throat and turned around.

You continued to walk now, a little shamefully. That was embarrassing. You wanted to do something nice and almost ended up killing her. Yikes.

”I do appreciate the sentiment.” Nebula said a few moments later. “I’m sorry.”

”Don’t apologize. I almost killed you with a glowy blue flower.” You scoffed.

”It was as pretty as it was deadly, and I have found that humans are drawn to glowy things. It’s fine.”

You stayed quiet even still.

The silence seemed to be better, actually. You were looking for convicted criminals. Making a lot of noise and attempting to flirt was not the best course of action. You kept your mouth shut and eyes open.

The walking had gotten a little tiresome after a bit. You felt like you had been trekking through this jungle forever. Even though you would sometimes see little alien animal creatures, or look at pretty (also probably deadly) flowers, you had gotten bored. Your feet started to hurt. It reminded you of when you were a child, and your parents took you to sightsee for hours and hours.

You were about to say something to Nebula when she held up a hand and stopped in her tracks. You froze.

”I hear something.” Her voice was hushed.

”Do you think it’s them?” You replied.

”Quiet.”

You listened as close as you could. You heard a distant rustling. It could have been another creature. But it sounded... odd. Like something with more mass was pushing its way through grass.

You got into a battle stance. Nebula positioned her swords in front of her.

A figure emerged with a battle cry, and you immediately threw forward a force field. Nebula also threw forward one of her swords, launching it at the attacker.

The sword got trapped between the field, and the tip of the blade barely stopped in front of Drax’s throat.

”Drax!” You breathed, dropping the field. The sword clattered to the ground. “You nearly killed us!”

” _We_ almost killed _him_.” Nebula corrected you, picking up her blade. “What are you doing here?”

”I heard noises, so I followed and attacked at them. I didn’t realize it was you until you stopped me.” He folded his arms. “Lucky you did, because I would have recognized you by the time I had already stabbed you twice. With either knife.” He held up said knives.

“Disturbing.” You grimaced.

“Well,” Drax sheathed his knives. “Now that I am here, Nebula will have a worthily violent accomplice.”

Nebula raised an eyebrow. “I’m fine on my own. Thanks.”

”Alex’s softness causes an imbalance in the violence ratio.” Drax explained. “I prefer to keep it on the high side.”

”And I prefer to keep that much more on the down low.” You said back. “We’re good, thanks.”

”Go off on your own.” Nebula urged him.

Drax groaned. “I can’t bear the thought of such destructive force being held back.”

He seemed to be... upset, and you didn’t have to read his aura to figure that out. His voice was hard, and he glared at you every now and then. You felt it before, wen you were still with the rest of the group. Anger at you when talking about violence. Where did this aggression come from?

”Who said anything about me holding her back?” You chimed in, but they didn’t seem to hear you.

”She has her standards, and I have mine.” Nebula said to Drax. “You don’t need to worry about what she’s doing.”

”Alex is attempting to pacify you!” Drax said.

”Sick line, I am totally going to use that later,” You interjected. “But that’s not the case.”

”What about your violence free standards?” Drax turned to you. “I won’t have you enforcing those on Nebula, or on me.”

Yikes. This was a real misunderstanding that was going on here. Drax thought that you were trying to make her a pacifist as well, and him next. That was something that had to be cleared up.

”Yeah,” you tried to get a word in. “I-I don’t have a problem with you being all... murdery. It’s just not my thing.”

”I thought you despised violence?” Drax said, confused.

”I mean, yeah.” You shrugged. “But I’m not going to make you throw away your knives or whatever. You like fighting, I don’t. I’m not going to try to change you.”

Drax stayed silent for a moment. “I have severely misread your personality and morals.”

”Yeah,” you breathed. “I noticed.”

Drax grunted a little. “Alright. But I’m accompanying you. My talents are wasted if there is no one to see my kills.”

”That’s where I’ll stop you.” Nebula put up a hand. “We’re fine on our own.”

“Sorry, Drax.” You shrugged.

Before Drax could say anything, you heard something. A click, right behind you.

Then the sound of a blaster powering up.

”Get down!” The phrase exploded from your mouth, and you tackled Nebula to the floor. Drax was just out of your reach, and he whipped around, looking for the source of your panic.

As he was looking, a blast of pure laser beam caught him in the chest. He flew back, propelled by the blast.

You were on top of Nebula now, your suit’s LEDs lighting up with a “!!!” Your face was hot, and your breathing was heavy— you told yourself it was because of the fear and adrenaline.

“Get up!” She yelled, unable to move.

You were up like a shot off of her, bubbling yourselves in a force field. Lucky that you did, because the shots came in a barrage now, striking hard and fast against the invisible shield. Breathing heavy, you tried to collect yourself.

It was hard to keep your cool when a hidden figure was shooting at you, but you tried your best.

Nebula got up, seemingly trying to collect herself as well. She drew her swords, but before she could go, Drax already ran past her, screaming, knives in hand. He leapt into the brush with no fear.

The LED “!!!” On your suit flashed now to signify more surprise. You dropped the field as soon as he landed, and the shots stopped. You could only hear battle cries and struggling noises as the two of them wrestled one another. Nebula took off towards them, releasing a battle cry as well.

You bolted, following her lead. Coming through the brush was exhilarating and scary, a real sight to behold— Drax was attempting to stab a large, monstrous figure. It had scaly, orange skin and clawed hands. You had no clue what this species was, and you didn’t really want to find out, because it had a laser gun and was angry.

The aura coming off of this thing was astounding. It didn’t express any wants or desires other than destroying the three of you. Whatever little outfit this thing was a part of, it was the muscle— and certainly not the brains, as this thing was completely fueled by fury. This was not something you could talk to or calm down.

Drax thrusted his blades at the criminal, and it just knocked him away with a sweeping claw. You threw up another force field, just stopping Drax from slamming into a tree. He instead slammed into the field and fell to the ground. You flinched.

Nebula yelled, and hurled her sword at the creature. It caught it in midair, and threw it to the ground.

”Hey, Pacify.” Nebula said harshly, not taking her eyes off the criminal. “You should do a little pacifying.”

”I already read his aura,” you choked out. “It can’t be reasoned with!”

”It can be restrained.” Nebula leapt out of its grasp quickly as it reached to grab her— and when it missed, it reached towards you instead. 

In a panic, you jumped; and you jumped much higher than any normal human should have. You leapt a good twenty feet in the air, over the creature, and landed safely on your feet behind it. “Whoa!” You exclaimed. “I guess that’s— that’s this suit’s ‘thing’!”

“Yeah?” Nebula said, irritated. “Glad to have that mystery solved.” She swiped at the creature once more with her sword, able to hack across its unguarded chest. The criminal roared— and that was when you realized that this creature was incapable of sentient thought.

”I’ll see what this suit can provide!”

”That would be nice!” Nebula yelled back.

The creature reared its head, aiming the blaster. Even though it couldn’t reason, it apparently knew how to pull a trigger. It fired mercilessly at Nebula, who nimbly dodged every shot.

Drax has finally gotten up, and was still raring to go. He screamed and jumped onto the back of the creature, embedding his knives into its scaled flesh. The criminal creature shrieked, and stumbled backwards, falling onto its back. This caused Drax to be trapped under the large monster.

”Help!” Drax wheezed. “I’m being killed by my own kill!”

”It’s not dead yet,” Nebula said. She was right— the creature began to stand.

Even with knives in its back, the beast was still strong. Drax has let go of his knives, and they were still embedded into the monster. An odd kind of liquid—probably it’s blood— trickled down from the wounds. It shrieked once more, saliva flying from its maw as the blaster cocked in Nebula’s direction.

Your LEDs lit up with a “!!!” Once more, as you jumped in the way between Nebula and the blaster. Another force field blocked the shots, and Nebula was safe.

But not for long— she immediately dove out from behind the field, rushing the creature. You dropped the field, and on pure instinct, rushed the creature as well. You leapt to incredible heights once more, and landed on the criminal’s shoulders.

Yikes.

It turned its attention away from Nebula now, only focused on you. It screamed and thrashed, trying to get you off of it— but your suit had transformed again.

The coils on your arms and legs sprung to life, and began to wrap around the monster. They settled, even as the creature still moved and yelped, molding to fit the beast’s body perfectly. You were holding onto its head, trying to stay on— and soon it required no effort. It’s entire body was bound by your own suit, and you released a breath when it finally stilled.

Nebula exhaled as well, seeing the the creature could no longer more. It’s mouth still gnashes, and you felt uncomfortably close to it, but at least it wasn’t trying to throw you off like a bull.

Nebula walked towards you, then took a knee. “So,” She said. “It seems you have this under control.”

”Yeah—“ You grunted, the mouth coming dangerously close to your face. “Augh! I’ve hugged it into submission, apparently— just help me out!” You said desperately.

”Don’t panic. I’ll knock it out—“

Nebula was interrupted by a figure tackling her to the ground.

You cried out Nebula’s name as she flew out of sight, pushed by this mystery assailant. You panicked. Even though Nebula could handle herself, and you needed to keep this beast restrained, you panicked.

The coils reformed again and released the monster’s body, and it shot up with a roar. As you stumbled away, you at least had the good sense left in you to put a force field around it. Before it could run, it had already been bubbled.

”Stay,” you breathed, pointing an accusatory finger at it. You ran in the other direction.

Nebula was wrestling with another creature— only this one was more hominid. It seemed to be a woman-like figure, that had black horns coming out of the sides of her head. She had a spear. She was trying to stab Nebula.

The absolute fear and panic you had felt many times before on these missions was suddenly amplified. You could hardly breathe, in these few milliseconds you watched Nebula almost die. Time seemed to stop.

You threw your arm forward and screamed “Time out.”

* * *

 You woke up, and your guest was already awake.

You could feel your eyes on her, and you froze. This never happened. They never woke up before you did.

Exhaling, hard, you whipped around to see her. She was calm. Collected. And she was staring right at you. It was only now when you noticed there was something wrong with her eyes.

Your face was exposed because your suit was gone, and she could see you now. You felt exposed.

”Stop,” was the only thing you could breathe. You didn’t have time to assess if this one was capable of reasoning, and that was the only thing you could think of.

”You are an insolent one.” She said. Her voice was authoritative. “Your parlor tricks will not stop me.”

”Yeah? Well, they can stall you.” You breathed. You were still trying to catch your breath. She didn’t seem upset at all.

In fact, she hadn’t even tried to attack you. She had made no tries to even lunge at you. She just remained perfectly still. 

“Stalling will not stop me.”

”Yeah, but it’ll—“ you choked. “It’ll stall you.”

”You are persistent.” She said.

”You’re a criminal.”

”I am a savior.”

”Excuse me?” You stood up straight now.

”And you are in the way.”

”...who... who are you working for?”

”I am a child of Thanos.”

Thanos. Your stomach plummeted.

What was this? What was anything that was happening? This wasn’t right. Thanos?

The a-hole “father” of Nebula and Gamora made you want to spit. He was someone that just drew you to anger. You had even thought to yourself if you ever met him, you would allow yourself to break your pacifistic code. You wondered if you would even allow it— but the longer you thought, the more you wanted to punch his gross purple face.

But now you didn’t feel anger. Now you were just scared.

You shook your head. “This isn’t right.”

”It will be. Soon.”

”What are you doing here?”

”Our ship was faulty. We crashed on this planet.”

”I gathered that much,” you snapped. You were even more scared now after snapping now. “I meant, what is your purpose?”

”To serve our father, Thanos.”

”What does that entail?”

”To help him receive the infinity stones, so he may restore balance to the universe.”

”Balance?”

”You couldn’t understand. But you will be at his mercy.”

”How do I know you’re telling the truth?!” You yelled.

”You don’t.” Her voice was dripping with poison. “But can you afford to take that risk?”

You swallowed, shaking now. “What’s stopping me from telling everyone about this?”

”You can tell them,” she said. “And face the consequences.”

You were silent.

”You can tell them,” she repeated. “And your friends will die.”

”You can’t.” You choked.

”We can. And we will.” Her voice was cool. “We have a weapon that can wipe them out in moments. So if you breathe a word to them, then they will perish.”

You swallowed again. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

”The children of Thanos are listening.” She whispered. “Even after you release me, and I am dimensions away. You cannot run. If we hear you, we will come.”

Silence again.

”Our plan is still in its... earlier stages.” She smiled. It was sickening. “You don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

You didn’t respond.

”Let us leave.” She said. “And we will throw the fight.”

”So you can crawl back to Thanos,” you choked. “And continue your little plan?!”

“I will not crawl.” She dragged out the sentence, sneering down her nose at you. “I will leave with the failed daughter’s head on a pike if you do not release me now.”

It was a split-second decision. She knew who Nebula was— the ‘failed daughter’, the one who never rest Gamora in her fights. She was telling the truth. You could never risk it, never risk getting her hurt. But the Galaxy...

* * *

 You woke on the mortal plane, thinking that the Galaxy could wait.

Your vision was fuzzier than normal. Ears ringing, you could hardly even muster the strength to sit up. You blinked away the blur, groaning. Your suit was off, you noticed— someone clicked it off.

Nebula was on top of you, shaking your shoulders. She was saying something. As your ears began to clear, you realized that it was your name. She must have been the one that took off your suit.

”I’m okay—“ you said as if you had woken from a deep sleep. “I’m okay, Nebula.” You grabbed onto her arms.

She released a breath, and put a hand to her face. “They got away.”

”They did?” You said weakly.

This knowledge that you held— that Thanos was out there, out there with a plan, and out there with monsters and horrible people that would listen to him— it made you sick. You were sick with him. And you were sick with yourself. The first thought you had was that you had made the wrong choice.

You felt an incredible pain in your stomach. It felt like nausea, but... sharper. You looked down and saw a big, deep gash. It was cauterized— you had gotten shot by the big beast. Apparently, the suit wasn’t high on defense.

You tried to gasp, but couldn’t. Nebula had a hand pressed against the wound. 

You began to cry.

”It’s okay, Alex—“ Nebula said desperately. “It’s a flesh wound. It didn’t pierce any internal organs. You’re going to be okay.”

It wasn’t that. You weren’t crying over that.

Nebula hoisted you up, slinging your arm over her shoulder. She was breathing hard.

”Drax went to get the others,” she exhaled urgently. “You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.” She seemed to saying that more to herself than you.

Through your tears, you stared at Nebula. Her desperate eyes, her furrowed brow, her parted lips.

You thought about what you had done, how you had doomed everything because you couldn’t say a word of what you had just spoken about.

You cried harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! It did because this chapter is very special ;)


	17. Aftereffect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re used to keeping secrets. But this one will doom the whole galaxy.
> 
> But as odd as it sounds, Nebula can protect your from what you’re protecting her from.

Your gunshot wound was properly disinfected, bandaged, and taken care of. Nothing vital was destroyed, or even touched— the blast didn’t shoot through your flesh. Rather, your suit dented because it was so used to forming what was around it. It formed around the blast, creating a divet that was so deep and hot that it broke the skin. It was a burn.

That was a design flaw you would take up with Tony next time you saw him. 

You were in such pain, such disrepair, that everything came in flashes. It hurt. Man, did it hurt. You thought your cheek getting sliced open was bad. It was nothing compared to getting shot in the stomach.

But all the physical pain was put you shame by your emotional state.

You had just met a child of Thanos that was still on his side. Someone who told you that they had a plan. That something would happen. She threatened to kill your friends. She told you the universe was in danger. And what did you do?

You ran away. You had run, and you were still quiet about what you had heard.

You were scared. You were scared when you came back intro the ship, and you were bawling your eyes out as if you were a baby again. The Guardians chalked it up to you being shot. Someone who is expressive and very vulnerable would reasonably cry at getting shot in the stomach. But that wasn’t it. And you couldn’t say a word.

When Nebula had brought you back to the ship, you could only whimper now. You couldn’t cry any more, but tears still streaked down your face. You were shaking, still. You could barely stand. Drax had to run back to the ship to alert the others.

More pain as you walked. Guilt. Guilt guilt guilt.

When the hatch opened and Rocket was about to snidely greet you, he saw your red, tear-stained face and you clutching your wounded stomach. His face immediately fell, and he ran to get the medical supplies.

Groot looked up form his video game, and even stood up, setting it down. You strained, trying not to upset him. He looked concerned.

Mantis came out when she heard the whimpers, and put her hands to her mouth. She was in incredible distress over your physical state. She asked if you wanted to be put out to sleep.

For whatever reason, you said no.

You didn’t see Peter and Gamora come in— you had made it back even before they did. You were a little thankful for this. They were some of the last people you wanted to see you like this.

The first was Nebula. But it was a little too late for that one. 

Another flash.

She had put you on your bed in your room, lying you down gently. She tried to help you keep your breathing steady, and lowered her voice as she spoke to you. Her dark, enchanting voice became softer, sweeter. Like from dark chocolate to cotton candy.

When Rocket finally came with the medical supplies, she had snatched it out of his claws. She was tense. You could feel it in her aura.

You tried to focus on that rather than the pain.

Rather than the pain and guilt, that is. You were devastated. Absolutely in ruin. What could you do— rather, what did you do? It was the only thought running through your mind.

_What did I do? What did I do? What did I do?_

You had always been interested in ethics and morals. Their origins. Their unspoken rules and regulations. What made something good, and what made something bad. You weren’t exactly a psychology major, but it was an incredibly interesting topic to you. You loved ethics and what people did because of them.

There is a famous ethical scenario called the trolley problem. The situation is this: a trolley is barreling, out of control, towards two railroads. One road had five people tied to it. One road has only one. You have a lever to choose how many people have to die. Which do you choose?

This question has many different iterations. What if the five people are criminals? What if the first person was your mother? What if you had to physically push someone instead of just pulling a lever?

The iteration that was happening to you was quite different. There were eight of your closest friends on one track, and the entire galaxy on another.

You made your choice.

Everything came in flashes.

Even the guilt.

Eventually, it all stopped flashing. You just closed your eyes and listened to your breathing. And soon, you listened to Nebula’s voice.

”Are you okay?” She whispered, disinfecting your wound.

”Yes,” you choked. It stung. “I am.”

”You’re lying.”

”I will be okay.” You corrected yourself. “Because you’re fixing me up.”

Nebula was quiet, staring at your burn. The skin was seared and wrinkled. As if someone took a hot torch and pressed it to your bellybutton. Your shirt was fused to it, and Nebula looking in the kit for something.

Tears sprung to your eyes. The pain  didn’t stop. It was deep and profound and absolutely shook you tic your core. Was this what real heroes felt every day?

Nebula looked back up, and her face softened.

”I’m sorry.” She said.

”Don’t say that.”

”Sorry.”

You tried to laugh, but it didn’t come out.

”You didn’t do anything wrong.” You said, opening one of your eyes to look at her. A tear leaked out.

”I did.” She shook her head. “I didn’t take out that psycho when I hadn’t a chance.”

”It’s okay. I put it in a bubble anyway... it must have broken out when I was in the pocket dimension.”

”Either way, they escaped.” Nebula sneered. “But I could have killed them.”

”Don’t say that. There’s... nothing you could have done.” You closed your eyes again. You told yourself that, too.

”I had my swords in my hands.” She said. “And they were in front of me. So I could have killed them.” She pulled out a pair of scissors from the kit.

After looking at them, confused, Nebula explained. “The fabric is fused to your body from the heat.” She snipped the scissors. “I need to cut it away.”

You tried to crack another joke. “This was my favorite shirt.”

”And you’re my favorite person.”

Your heart stopped, your head spun. Every metaphor you could think of that symbolized shock happened to you.

”What?” Your voice was thick.

“I just realized,” Nebula looked away. “That this is... so...”

She couldn’t find the words to describe it, but you nodded your head. “I know.” You said as eagerly as possible.

”After this... what had happened to you...” she sniffed. “I realized I have to say something. Before it’s too late.”

”Yes,” You said. “I feel the same way.”

You were in agreement. But not about the same thing.

”I want to say it,” she continued. “But I never have. And... and I don’t know how.”

”I don’t either.” You assured her.

”But I want to tell you.”

You reached a hand outwards, in her direction. It hurt to move, but you needed this. You just needed this.

Nebula took it, and everything felt right again, just for a moment.

”Alex,” she said, staring you in the eye with her own nebulous ones. “I love you.”

It was before Thanos. Before even the Guardians. Before you left home, before you discovered your powers, before you learned to walk or talk, before you were even born. You were brought back to a time when there were no problems, no earthly wants or needs, nothing. With those words, those few words, you felt reborn.

But the rebirth died on the vine, when you remembered what you did to betray this love. Her trust. Everything you built and cultivated and grew and brought out from within her was violated. 

”Nebula...” you whispered.

You started crying again.

Nebula’s brow furrowed, and she put a hand on your shoulder. She was becoming more comfortable with touch. “Are you Okay?”

”I do too!” You babbled, incoherent, desperate to try and salvage what you had ruined. The worst part was, Nebula had no clue. “I do—“ You hiccuped.

”Was— was it too soon?” Nebula was distressed. “I mean, this was our first date—“

”No.” You barked, throat unclear, eyes blurred by tears. “No. It was perfect.”

”You’re crying.”

”I’m just—“ you sniffed. “Emotional as always.”

”Are you in pain?”

”Not anymore.” You smiled, lying. “Today’s... today has been a lot.”

Nebula sighed in relief, nodding. “It’s been so long. It feels like it’s lasted for weeks.”

You nodded.

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

Nebula turned back to your burn. She had cut away a majority of the fabric, and was now applying an ointment and bandages.

You shivered at the cold of her robotic hand.

”Nebula,” You said. “I love you.”

Nebula froze, her hand on your wound. She looked over to you.

”I hope you know that,” you swallowed, beginning to babble again. “I would never want to hurt you. Ever.”

”You couldn’t.” She smiled. “You’re a pacifist.”

You tried to smile back, but the desperation in your turned it into a pained grimace.

You couldn’t do this. There was absolutely no way you could live like this. Not after what Nebula just said. She told you she loved you, and you told her the same. This was a big step in your relationship.

You were looking out for her existence as a whole, as well as how she felt.

What would she do if she figured out that you lied? 

You had to say something. You were a liar by nature. You had to hide things about yourself. Your powers. Your sexuality. You did this to keep yourself safe until the time was right.

Would the time ver be right to tell Nebula that her father was hell-bent on destroying the galaxy some way?

It never would. Not after now. You had passed the threshold of no return. The criminals had gotten away. You were on the ship. Nebula told you she’s loved you— and if that “child of Thanos” was telling the truth, then they were listening.

You didn’t know what to do. But you did something anyway.

“Nebula,” you heard yourself saying from miles away.

”Yes?” She was dressing your wound now.

”I... I need to say something.”

”...what is it?” She asked.

It was such a quick breakdown, like the crumbling of a nation overnight.

You couldn’t do this.

“...I’m ready to come out to everyone.”

You didn’t know what possessed You to say that. But you reasoned that if you couldn’t be truthful about one thing, you could at least be truthful about another.

”You are?” She raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

”I am.” You nodded. The pain in your stomach was still there— but it had quelled. All you felt now was a sickness past your burn, deep in the pit of your stomach, in the core of your very being.

“That’s... great, Alex.” She smiled. “I’m proud of you.”

”Thank you.” 

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

* * *

 Peter and Gamora finally got back to the shape, and they were nearly worse for the wear. Peter had multiple bruises and blooded spots on his face and body, and Gamora wasnt any better. They had encountered the third attacker— the third child of Thanos— and it seemed like they had lost to them as well.

You were able to get up from your room, with lots of help from Nebula. She supported your shoulder, and hefted her weight into herself.

You forced a smile. “Thanks, Neb.”

”You’re welcome.” She smiled back, sadly.

As you made your way together out into the main part of the ship, you could hear Peter talking.

”...gone. Just disappeared.” He said angrily. “How did that even happen?”

”I don’t know. But we searched the whole planet, and they’ee gone.” Gamora responded.

”Or this stupid motion tracker doesn’t work.”

”Probably because it’s a video game from the 1980’s.” Rocket snarled.

”Rocket, shut up.”

”The foes were powerful,” Drax said. “They did not fight fair.”

”Looks like we’re not gettin’ paid, huh?”

”Are they out there?” You heard Mantis’ voice. “Somewhere?”

”Obviously! They ain’t here, are they!”

”I am Groot!”

You rounded the corner, and as soon as you came into view, all conversation ceased.

They all stared at you. At your bandages. At your sorry, broken face.

Rocket cleared his throat. “You... did your best, Five Suits.”

You brow crinkled, and you looked to the floor. “Thanks.”

”Are you Alright?” Mantis was incredibly worried. 

“I’m just having a little trouble walking.” You breathed. “That’s all.” Letting go of Nebula as to not cause her embarrassment, you supported your weight on the wall. A pain shot through your torso, and your knees buckled. You didn’t fall, but you had a tough time standing.

”Sit down, Alex.” Peter stood, drawing you up a chair.

”Thanks,” You wheezed, thankfully taking the seat. 

Before anyone could say anything, you choked something out. “Sorry.”

Peter raised his eyebrows. “For what?”

”I...” You gulped. “I had one. One of them, in the pocket dimension. But... she...” You got a lump in your throat.

You were so close. You were so close to just telling the truth.

”She threatened me, so much.” The tears came again. “She threatened that she would kill everyone, if...” you sighed, deep. “If I didn’t let her go.”

”Alex...” Nebula put a hand on your shoulder. 

“I caved. I was weak. I’m the reason they got away.”

”No, no.” Gamora said. “That’s not it.”

Little did she know.

”I just— I had her. And if... if I did something other than just run my mouth... we wouldn’t have this problem. I wouldn’t have gotten shot.”

The outburst caused more pain in your stomach, and you flinched at the suddenness of it.

”Don’t say that, Five Suits.” Rocket said. He was trying to make his voice calmer, less grating. “You did what you could.”

”What I could have done,” you cried a little more. “Wasn’t what I should have done.”

”You fought as nobly as you could.” Drax offered. “With your morals.”

There it was again. Morals. It was your damn morals that got you into this mess in the first place.

”Maybe that was a bad thing.” You rubbed your eyes. “I’m not here to fight. I’m here to be the emotional support.”

”Hey, Hey.” Peter said. “You are still part of this team.”

”I—“ you wiped away a tear that nearly dribbled off your chin. “What kind of a teammate am I— I-If I can’t do my job!”

”You are a member of our family.” Drax said. His voice was calm. “That is who you are now.”

You closed your eyes, palms pressed against your eyelids.

”If I’m a family member,” you forced yourself. “Then I need to be honest.”

Everyone exchanges glances with one another at this. You looked up to Nebula. She nodded.

You took her hand and stood up, still needing to lean on her.

”I—I know this isn’t relating to what’s going on right now.” You said. “But... I’m feeling... a lot of emotional unrest. And I think if I say this... then I’ll feel at least a little better.”

”Spit it out already.” Rocket said urgently.

Nebula glared at him, but you just smiled a little. Him acting to you like how he always would madd you feel a little better.

”I felt like I needed to tell you this,” you looked at Nebula. “Because after today, I realized that I have to say something. Before it’s too late.”

Everyone was quiet. You took a deep breath.

”Everyone,” you said. “I’m gay.”

Mantis was the first to speak, actually immediately piping up before anyone else could react. “I already knew this.”

”Well, Yeah—“ You said. “I just... wanted to tell everyone in a group setting.”

”But I already knew. And now I may finally speak of it!” She exhaled. “Keeping secrets is hard.”

Rocket put a paw on his heart. “Five Suits, no matter who you love, you will always be family to us. Trust me. I mean it.”

Before you could say anything, he turned to Drax and grinned. “You owe me 1000 credits, Draxy.”

Drax scoffed. “You are a disgusting rodent.”

”Wh—“ you exclaimed. “You bet on this?!”

”Well, Yeah?” Rocket laughed. “I mean, why not, right?”

”You already knew, too!”

Rocket’s ears pricked at that, and Drax growled.

”You have made a bet with me on glass pretenses. You earn nothing.”

”What—?! Augh!” He turned to you now. “Come on, Five Suits!”

”This is news to me.” Peter put yo his hand. “I had absolutely no clue, here.”

”Yes, you did.” Gamora looked at him.

”Wha-at?” Peter said in his ‘I don’t know how to tell a lie’ voice. “No! I don’t— psh— you knew!”

”I did. So did you. We had a conversation about it.”

”You talked about it with one another?” You were in disbelief.

”Okay, wait.” Rocket interrupted them. “Show of hands. How many people already knew that Five Suits likes ladies.”

Everyone except for Groot raised their hands.

“What?!” You exclaimed. “Okay— Mantis read my emotions. Rocket, Peter, and Nebula I told. and Gamora just... figured it out, I guess. Drax,” you looked at him once confusion. “How did you know?”

”I am observant.” Drax said. “The way you talk about women gives it away easily. Only someone attracted to them can describe them in the way you do.”

Your face began to burn. “Okay, Yeah, shut up Drax.”

”Hey!” Rocket exclaimed. “You knew she was gay too? And you took the bet?”

”I was hoping to collaborate with Alex, and then double-cross you.” He explained.

”That... makes no sense.” You said.

”I figured it out after I made the bet,” he growled. “And I am not a coward who backs away from a challenge.”

“And Groot didn’t realize because he’s a clueless prick.” Rocket snapped his little raccoon fingers. “Hey! Branches! You hear what she said?”

”I am Groot!” He was still playing away on his video game.

”He says he doesn’t care.”

You furrowed your brow, rubbing your eyes again. 

You felt... lighter. As if some sense of catharsis had blessed you, for a few moments, to forget about your woes. This moment that was around you, it was like any other day on the ship. The Guardians bickering. You watching. Nebula’s arm on your shoulder.

Being like this really did accentuate how much you wanted to be with them. For them to not be murdered by some vengeful tyrant. You thought, for a just a second, you may have made the right choice.

The guilt wasn’t gone, though.

”So,” Rocket put his hands on his hips. “Now that you’re outta the closet, when will Nebula come out?”

You froze. Nebula clenched your shoulder tightly.

”Ow—“ you groaned. She released you.

Peter and Gamora looked at one another uncomfortably. Mantis cocked her head. Drax eyed Nebula. Groot actually looked up from his video game.

”Sorry, what?” Peter asked. 

“I’m wondering when Nebula’s gonna come out of the— oh.” Rocket stopped, realizing his mistake. “Ohh.”

Nebula stared at him with an absolute fury in her eyes. He had just revealed one of her biggest secrets. Why shouldn’t she be upset?

”Nebula—“ You tried to calm her down. But she stopped you.

”No.” She said. “He’s right.”

”What?”

”I guess now that you’ve taken your turn, I should do it.” She looked at the Guardians, unflinching. Unblinking. “You heard him.”

Peter’s mouth was open, and his eyes darted from Nebula to Gamora. Gamora shot a look at him, and even though it was just an expression, it conveyed the phrase ‘I’m not at liberty to say anything, so you should just listen’ pretty well. He did so.

There was silence in the room. No one said anything. Was Nebula going to continue?

”...when are you going to do it?” Mantis whispered.

”Oh, I thought Rocket’s coming out for me was enough.” She glared at him once more. He flinched.

”I... am in love with Alex.” She said. “That’s that.” 

Your stomach flipped, and your face once again turned red. You didn’t think she would say that.

”I... I love you too.” You said, smiling like the village idiot.

”So are you gay?” Drax asked, tactlessly.

”I don’t know for sure.” She said. “I haven’t experienced much romantic attraction other than this, so I can’t be positive. But,” she looked at you. “I love Alex. And that’s what I do know.”

You were at a loss for words. 

Nebula trusted you so much, and trusted everyone else so much, that she could say “I love you” in front of other people. Nebula, who was so emotionally cold and distant, was coming to terms with how she felt, explaining them articulately, and not even stabbing Drax when he explicitly asked what she indentifed as.

Your eyes welled up again.

”Neb,” You croaked, rubbing your eyes. “I’m going to cry again.”

She pat your shoulder gently.

”Wow,” Peter put his hands on his hips and scratched the back of his neck. “I, uh, had no clue. Dang.” He gave you a thumbs up. “Good job, Alex.”

You could only chuckle through your eyes tears of you, and give him one back. “Thanks.”

”I’m proud of you, Nebula.” Gamora smiled. “I’m glad you trust us.”

Nebula scratched at her face once again, hiding her expression. “Well,” Her voice was muffled, hand covering her mouth. “It was Alex who helped open me up.”

You blushed harder. “It was you who wanted to make progress!”

”You urged me to. You helped me.”

”You helped _me_!” You laughed.

Rocket retched. “Ugh, please, you’re practically making out. Take it somewhere else.”

”We have another couple on board,” Drax said. “Now Peter and Gamora will not be the only ones who will have children.”

It felt like your face got engulfed in fire instead of your torso. You covered your eyes and said hastily “Drax oh my god we physically cannot do that.” Nebula did not react— at least not outwardly.

Rocket fake retched again. “Now we have two times the sappiness, too. Great. Don’t get busy getting lost in each other’s eyes or whatever.”

Mantis suddenly laughed. “I feel such joy from you two!” She giggled.

You smiled back at her. “I’m mostly glad you don’t have to hold on to that as a secret any more.”

She sighed. “It was very difficult. I don’t know how you did that you’re whole life. I am so happy!” she clapped her hands. “You are both so happy!”

Nebula looked at you, and she smiled. She took the hand that wasn’t on your shoulder and put it in front of you. You grinned, and took her hand.

”I guess we are.”

Rocket retched one more time, even louder and more forceful. “Ugh! I’m leaving! I never wanna meet another lesbian if they’re all this sappy! Ech!” Rocket immediately hopped off of his chair and began to leave.

”Thanks, Rocket.” You called after him.

”Good luck with the burn, Five Suits!” He called back.

Groot stood, following Rocket. As he walked, you asked him a question.

”We still cool, Groot?”

”I am Groot.”

That was Groot for ‘sure’ you grinned and said back “Thanks.”

”I shall depart as well,” Drax said, standing. “And leave you to get aptly prepared for couples activities.”

”Drax good god please just leave.” You covered your face.

He thankfully did so, but right after, Mantis giggled giddily, running up to you. “This is so exciting. I have never seen a relationship like this before. I cannot wait to see what happens.”

”You and I both.” Nebula snarked, but in a friendly way.

Mantis smiled with a squeak, the skittered off the her own room.

You chuckled, then looked back down at Nebula and your hands interlocked with one another. You looked up into her deep, dark eyes. She turned to you too, and smiled.

You felt different than before. The guilt was eradicated— though not once it’s entirety, this calmed you. At least a little. Almost every love song, story, or work of art seemed to be right. Love really did fix things.

It was a matter of how long things could be fixed.

Peter coughed, and you were brought back into reality. “So,” he forced. “Congrats.”

”Thanks.” You said.

”It’s been great.” Nebula said, monotone.

You snickered at that. “Don’t make me laugh. I’ll hurt my stomach.”

”Well... I think it’s about time we leave. Or go to sleep. Or both.” Peter waved his hands. “You know what, let’s do both. Both is good.”

”Yeah,” you breathed. Today was a lot. I’d like that.”

”Cool, Cool.” He looked over to Gamora. “I’m hittin’ the hay.”

”Go ahead, I’ll drive the ship.” She pat him on the shoulder, and smiled. He nodded, smiling back, then walked to his room as well.

”I should go the bed too.” Nebula released your hand. “And so should you. You need rest.”

You sighed. “You said it. Today took a lot out of me.”

”Actually,” Gamora stopped you before you could move. “I need to talk to Alex. You get to bed, okay, Nebula?”

Nebula furrowed her brow with irritation. “Just because I like Alex,” she clarified. “Doesn’t mean I’m soft now.”

”Of course not.” Gamora agreed. “Now go to bed.”

Nebula exhaled, and turned on her heel to go to her room. She looked so cool and confident, with her head held high and her hips swinging. You had to mess with her. With a grin, you said “sweet dreams, Nebula!”

”You too.” Was all she said as she disappeared down the hall.

You smiled and looked at Gamora. Now without the support of Nebula, you had to lean on the wall.

She look at you with a gentle face, and a warm smile. “I’m glad I didn’t have to keep my promise.”

”Sorry?”

”Of me killing you where you stand if you hurt my sister.” She clarified.

”Oh,” you remembered. “Right. Me too. You have no idea.”

Gamora chuckled. “Nebula... has never said anything like that before.”

You nodded. “I know. I never imagine she would do that.”

She sighed. “It’s... amazing. The affect you had on her.”

Embarrassed, you scratched the back of your neck, averting your eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t say it was all me—“

”No.” Gamora said. “It wasn’t. But... you had a big hand in making her open up. And as her sister... thank you.”

She opened her arms, and embraced you. The hug wasn’t tight, but it was warm and snug, like a blanket that fit your body. You hugged her back, realizing how much bigger Gamora was than you. Not significantly, but enough so that she could give you a _real_ hug.

You thought about what she was giving you. Trust. Forgiveness. It was something you felt like you didn’t deserve. Nebula did all the work, not you. You just... kickstarted her path. Then you thought again about the children of Thanos, their threats, how they’ve were apparently listening, and ready to bring ‘balance’ to the universe, whatever that meant. It scared you. It made you mad at yourself again.

But like this... you felt safe. You felt protected. You felt like you were in the arms of the older sister you always wanted, and never had. Someone who would beat up the bad guys for you. Someone who protected you, guided you. You felt like you didn’t have to worry about anything.

Your eyes welled up again. You didn’t want to cry for a fourth time this night, so you just sniffed.

When Gamora released you, She saw the tears in your eyes. She took your face in her hands, and wiped them away with her thumbs.

”Be excellent to her.” She whispered.

”I’ll be better.” You replied.

Gamora smiled. “Let me help you to your room.”

* * *

 You lay in your bed, wide awake.

Today was almost too much. Emotionally, you were done. Full. You were ready to start another day tomorrow. To do something new. To do something new with this new chance that Nebula gave you, and this truth that you shared with the others.

But in thinking about that truth, you couldn’t stop thinking about one lie. One cowardice.

And in the back of your mind, it was there.

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.


	18. Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little moments that you have shared with Nebula.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a treat before stuff gets rough :)

It had been a week since you failed your mission, got shot in the stomach, and come out to the Guardians.

Other than that one day, it was a mostly uneventful week.

Sure, you had made a bad decision that was eating you up inside. Promising an evil child of a murderous tyrant that you wouldn’t tell those who are supposed to guard the galaxy their horrible plot to destroy the universe or whatever wasn’t really something you would normally do. Of course, you still felt awful. 

You didn’t have much choice, considering the circumstances. If you said anything, your closest friends and family would die.

But you could at least put on a good face and not dwell about it. For someone who was good at expressing her emotions, you were also good at bottling them up.After all— you couldn’t do much to assuage your fears, or even rectify the situation. Your only option was to tell the group, and while alerting the crew that a dangerous villian was on the loose, it was actually a bad idea.

Reason one was mainly Nebula. If you told her this, she would likely go to kill her father. If she did this, she would also most likely die. It didn’t need explaining why that was a bad thing. You loved her, and you didn’t want her to go risk her life like this.

Reason two was that if you did tell them, they would all be slaughtered in a mysterious way. That is, if the children of Thanos truly could listen to you. That wasn’t a risk you were willing to take.

Everything else in you said to say something. This was a horrible trolley problem, if you had ever seen one. You had to do something.

But you didn’t. Your lips were sealed.

In the meantime, you were able to relax. It had been just past four months since you had joined the Guardians. Four months! It didn’t feel like long, and when you put four months into the perspective of the time all the other Guardians had spent with one another, it seemed like even less.

But it was special to you. You had a girlfriend now. A girlfriend!

And now that you were publicly declared as in a relationship, you were a lot happier than you would usually be. Of course, you were still hung up over Thanos. But you decided you wouldn’t let that fear rule your life.

It wasn’t an easy transition, but you were very in touch with your emotions. And it was made smoother with the little things.

* * *

 Now that you and Nebula were out of the closet, she was much more affectionate out in public. It really blew you away how much progress she had made. She would put an arm around your shoulder. Hold your hand. Sometimes, when you made the first move, she would try and hide her face so you wouldn’t see her expression.

”I’m an empath.” You would always say. “You can’t hide your feelings from me.”

”I know.” Her voice would be muffled from behind her hand. “It’s just...” she wouldn’t finish her sentence.

You would just giggle and hold her closer.

The acceptance of the crew was fantastic. It wasn’t very often when someone would comment on you and Nebula becoming closer. Except for Rocket’s jokes, which were to be expected. They were usually shut down, though, by a glare from Nebula.

She was very intimidating, despite the love she was showing you. It made your heart flip.

About a day after you got your burn bandaged, you gave her your first kiss together. Technically, it was a cheek kiss, but whatever.

It wasn’t anything grandiose. You just sat down next to her in the main part of the ship. She was reading a book, and she put her free hand around your shoulder. You smiled and gave her a quick peck, then sat back normally like nothing happened.

From the look on Nebula’s face, you were surprised she didn’t drop her book.

”Uh,” was all she said. “Uhm.”

Her reaction made your whole day.

* * *

 The day afterwards, Nebula have you a surprise.

”So,” she said. The two of you were in your room. It was still sparse, decorated only with the candle you gave her and a lighter on her desk. “I have something for you.”

”Yeah?” You perked up. “What is it?”

”Well, it’s something for me...” Nebula clarified. “But You'll like it all the same.”

You shrugged. “Alright. Show me.”

Nebula opened up her closet, searching for something. She finally pulled out two unfamiliar articles of clothing, and you gasped— it was a t-shirt and sweatpants.

”Nebula!” You exclaimed. “You got some other clothes! Like I asked!”

”That’s why I got them.” She draped the pants over her arm and examined the shirt. It was just a normal purple tee— nothing really special. “I had some money left over because... well, I never buy things.”

“And now you can wear something other than leather!”

“You were right. I do need more casual clothes.”

”Oh my God you need to put those on right now.” You stood up, excited. “I’m gonna step out. Please get changed.”

She chuckled. “Glad you’re so excited.”

”You have no idea.” You giggled, walking out and closing the door.

About a minute later, Nebula walked out, and you grinned so wide you thought your face might split in two.

The shirt was loose on Nebula, but a little too small. It showed her midriff, just a bit. The sweatpants were kind of baggy, and definitely big on her, but for whatever reason, she still looked perfect.

”You were right,” Nebula said. “It’s more comfortable than leather.”

”We are buying you so many more new clothes,” you said. “And there is nothing you can do about it, because you look fantastic.”

Nebula turned away, trying once again to hide her smile.

* * *

The next day, the other Guardians went out to take care of something. You weren’t really sure of what it was, but you knew that it was of a violent nature, like fighting a big alien or something.  You, or course, could not attend, because your burn was still healing up.

Nebula left too, reluctantly enough, back in her leather. Before she went, she asked over and over if you were sure you didn’t need help walking. You said you were good, and ushered her out the door.

You instead spent your time in the hull of the ship, staring off into space again. When everyone was gone, you enjoyed playing music throughout the whole ship by plugging your phone into the stereo. It was better than headphones.

Closing your eyes, you sighed. You couldn’t really stop thinking about that fight on the jungle planet.

You kept telling yourself to drop it. There was nothing you could do, at least like this. Not after what the child of Thanos had threatened of you. It wasn’t an easy feeling to shake, the feelin of being watched. You were paranoid when you were alone.

Maybe you should have asked Nebula to stay with you.

You were thankful that the mission didn’t take long, because the Guardians came back without issue. They were greeted to the sounds of “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses. When they saw you just peacefully sitting there listening to such loud music, it surprised them a little bit.

”What?” You had said. “This is the kind of stuff I listen to all the time.”

”Ugh, just get some headphones on or something. I don’t want to hear this through the whole ship.” Rocket groaned.

You obliged, unplugging your phone from the stereo, blowing a raspberry at Rocket. “You don’t appreciate my music taste.”

”You’re right. I hate it.”

”You just don’t realize this would have been a thematically appropriate song to play when we were on that jungle moon.”

“Is this what you do when you’re here alone?” Nebula asked.

”Most of the time, Yeah.” You nodded. “I’ve been getting way more into music lately than I already was.”

”You don’t have a lot of other options.”

“I’ve actually been meaning to show you some more songs.”

”Yeah?” She asked.

You grinned. “I think this one describes you perfectly.”

Plugging in your earbuds, you handed over your phone to Nebula, and hit play. Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous Woman” played.

As the song progressed, Nebula raised her eyebrows. “This song is fitting for me?” She took out one earbud.

”Y’know, it’s— cause you’re a dangerous woman.”

”Not the most dangerous in present company.” She looked over to Gamora.

”Babe,” you said. “You’re the most dangerous woman... in my heart.” You put a hand on your heart.

”Aw, babe.” She replied.

Rocket fake retched from the other room.

* * *

 The next few days were also largely uneventful. You had been working on managing your burn, which was now scarring over pretty hard. It still itches sometimes, but it was healing. You weren’t in as much pain as before, and could walk normally by the end of the week.

You still weren’t battle ready, but you sure felt a lot better— emotionally and physically.

Nebula’s affections always brought you up, too. Just being around her was enough to make you smile, despite Rocket’s disgust and Drax’s unintentionally lewd comments. 

You embraced one another without shame, and you were over the moon— over many moons, quite literally— to finally be in a relationship that felt so... good. So stable. So full of love and trust.

Nebula was still cold. Obviously. She wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. She would still brood and make snide comments. But you knew now that they were all fueled by love, not spite. When she chided Groot for always being on his games, you would smile because you knew it was because of her best interest. When Rocket teases you and Nebula retorted, you were happy she stuck up for you. When she would stare out the window, with incredible RBF, you would catch her eye and wave to her playfully. She would wave back.

You slept more soundly than usual. But something inside you said that wouldn’t last long.


	19. Ethos, Logos, Pathos, Thanos

You had a dream that you couldn’t identify.

It was an odd dream. You didn’t often have lucid ones, or even nightmares— but this one didn’t seem like a dream. It was as if you were stuck between reality and unconsciousness.

You didn’t see anything. You didn’t hear or feel anything, either. 

Scratch that. You did feel something. But not anything physical, like the touch of your bedsheets on your body, or even the feeling of clothes on your back. No. This was emotion.

You had no clue how to describe it. It was a pit, deep inside of your very core, like a black hole. It stayed, lingering. You just... existed, with this unidentifiable emotion just sitting there. It did nothing. You got no affect from this odd sensation that didn’t register in your brain.

The hole seemed to grow bigger. And bigger. And bigger. It kept growing, a feeling inside you. But you had absolutely no clue what it was.

You weren’t happy, or panicked, or angry. It was just... something. 

But you couldn’t identify it.

* * *

 You had just woken up. Blinking away the fuzz from your vision, you tried to recall the odd dream that you had last night. You remembered nothing visually— and, within seconds, you forgot that you even had a dream at all.

You shrugged. It probably didn’t matter.

You stretched. You changed the bandages on your stomach. It was taking a long time to heal, but by now, you had gotten used to it. You changed out of your pajamas as well; hungry for some breakfast.

You walked out of your room, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and happily greeted Nebula, who was in the hub of the ship outside. She was wearing her new outfit, and you smiled.

“Good morning, sunshine.” You said. You saw that she was still a little tired, resting her head on one of her hands. Her elbow was propped up on the table, and she opened her eyes to greet you.

The smile she gave you warmed your heart. “Good morning.”

”There’s no morning here.” Rocket groaned, coming out of his room. “We’re in space.”

”Shut up, Please.” Nebula mumbled, rubbing her head. 

“ _You_ shut up.” Was Rocket’s snappiest response. He wasn’t as clever when it was early.

”It doesn’t matter if we still don’t stick to the Gregorian calendar of days and stuff,” you stretched your arms above your head. “I still do. And it’s great.”

“Yeah? Good for you, Five Suits.” Rocket walked off. “Just don’t count on watching a sunrise any time soon.”

”How’d you sleep?”

”Good, good.” You said. “I had a weird dream, I think. I can’t remember it now.”

Nebula hummed.

”How about you?”

”It was alright. I’m not entirely recharged.”

You smiled devilishly. “Do you mean that literally, or figuratively?”

Nebula raised an eyebrow. “Take a guess.”

”Well, whatever. The day is new!” You said enthusiastically. “Because I have woken up. And I’m ready to...” You clapped your hands together. “Do things.”

Nebula chuckled. “So, we’ll do things.”

”Or not,” You shrugged. “I actually amped myself up too quickly. I’m still kind tired.” You plopped down in the seat next to her.

”Well, we have all day.” She turned to face you fully and put a hand on your shoulder. “Let’s make the most of it.”

She stared at you right into your eyes, and smiled. You stared back.

”Hi,” You grinned.

”Hi.” She replied.

She gave you a quick smooch, and you giggled.

The two of you were so much more open with one another. So friendly. This was exactly what you pictured a relationship to be like. So wholesome.

”Good morning, lovebirds.” Peter cooed from his room. He had poked his head out of his room to tear you and Nebula.

”Good morning, and also, how rude.” You replied, looking over Nebula’s shoulder at him. She got up, and walked to the kitchen.

He stepped out of his room, still smiling. “Just stating the facts.”

”Well, stop, captain obvious.” You stuck your tongue out at him jokingly.

”No, I will continued to point out every time you show affection for one another.” He sat down where Nebula was sitting before. “Just to spite you.”

“We never pick on you for being with Gamora.”

Nebula, who had just poured herself a glass of water, said from the kitchen “Mostly because thinking of my sister kissing you makes me want to dismantle myself.” She took a long sip of her water.

”Ouch.” Peter said. “Words hurt, Nebby.”

”Hey, I’m the only one who gets to call her Nebby.” You pushed Peter playfully, and turned to face Nebula. “Right, Nebby?”

”Yes, Alex.” She took another sip of water, staring over the glass at you.

Peter looked at you. “I’m not surprised. Nebula’s not big on pet names, is she?”

”Not even a little bit, no.” You replied. “I call her stuff like ‘babe’, ‘hon’, ‘Nebby’, ‘the most dangerous woman in my heart’, ‘Nebs’...”

”I call her by her name.” Nebula responded.

”Romantic.” Peter said.

“Yeah, it’s great.” You smiled.

Gamora was next to wake up, already fully dressed. She strode out of her room, head held high. You were shocked at how awake she was.

”Morning.” You said to her as she walked by.

”Good morning.” She replied, walking into the kitchen. She hip-bumped Nebula to make her get out of the way, and Nebula put a finger in her glass and flicked water at her sister to irritate her.

”Morning to you too, sis.” Nebula dipped her water as Gamora pushed her playfully again. “You seem peppy today.”

”And you look very relaxed,” she looked Nebula up and down. “What with your new clothes.”

”They’re the best and I wish so badly she would wear casual outfits all the time.” You interjected.

”Really?” Peter said. “I would have thought you liked the leather.”

”I mean, I did, but it can’t be comfortable to wear literally all the time!” You looked at Gamora. “Isn’t it uncomfortable?”

”No, I have normal clothes on underneath the leather.”

”What?! This is news to me. So you’ve got like, what, a pair of jeans on under there?”

”No, it’s more like a bodysuit.”

”You’re wearing a catsuit,” you repeated. “Under a leather bodysuit.”

She nodded. Nebula replied “that’s what I wore too.”

You leaned back in your chair and shook your head. “I can’t be the only one who’s perturbed by this.”

Peter shrugged. “I know that you’re the only one who uses words like ‘preturbed’.”

”isn’t your suit uncomfortable?” Gamora asked. “It is made of metal, after all.”

You shook your head. “No. It’s kind of made to fit my body. So it’s fine. Also, I wear it over my clothes, so... that newest one, though.” You perked up. “That was weird one.”

“Yeah?” Peter asked. “How so?”

”Well, uh,” you scratched your neck. “That time on the jungle moon... it formed in, like, coils? I dunno, it was weird. I hugged one of the enemies into submission. I wouldn’t know what to call that suit anyway.”

”Probably something like ‘the care bear’.” Peter smiled.

”Or ‘the slinky’.”

The two of you laughed at your shared Earth inside jokes, while Gamora and Nebula exchanged confused glances.

You sighed. “Anyway, my point is, I would die for Nebula in casual clothes.”

”I wouldn’t let you.” Nebula raised her eyebrows and took another sip of her water.

You put your hand on your heart again and whispered “Babe.”

Before anyone else could say anything, Drax walked out of his own room, yawning wide and loud. 

“Speaking of diversity in outfits,” you leaned backwards in your chair to see past Peter, getting a view of Drax. “Good morning, Drax.”

“There is no morning.” Drax covered his mouth, yawning in the middle of his sentence. “We are in space.”

”I know. Still. Congrats on waking up, I guess.”

”I do it nearly every morning.”

Peter turned to you. “What did you mean about diversity in outfits?”

”I mean, Drax only ever wears pants.” You gestured to said pants. “I know you have sensitive nipples or whatever, Drax, but really. Please put on shirts. I am begging you.”

”No.” Drax insisted. “Just because you dislike the male physique doesn’t mean I am going to hide it.”

”It’s not that,” you waved him off. “I don’t hate dude bodies. Just... don’t you get cold?”

”I never get cold.”

”Embarrassed?”

”I have a beautiful body.”

”And we love body positivity, honey.” You nodded.

”My name is not ‘honey’.”

”Just—“ you waved him off. “Whatever.”

Nebula came back to sit down next to you. You smiled when she brushed your shoulder, and she brought you some water as well. As you took a sip, your stomach growled loudly.

”Yikes.” You pat your belly. “Do we have any breakfast?”

Gamora checked the pantry. “We have... some yaro root left.” She pulled out said root. It looked sort of like an oblong onion, or a fat leek. She smiled at her sister. “Unless you want it, Nebula.”

Nebula grumbled something and shook her head. Gamora tossed you the root, and you caught it. You looked over to the sheepish Nebula.

She was hiding something. You could feel it in her aura. It was a sense of minor foreboding, and she got that exhausted feeling she felt when a Guardian was about to pull something dumb. You were a Guardian, you liked dumb, and you especially loved hearing dumb stories about Nebula.

”Nebs?” You said with a little lilt in your voice. “Is there something you’d like to mention?”

She said “mm-mmn.” into her cup, mid-sip.

”Possibly something yaro-root related?”

”It’s nothing.”

You sighed. “Say it with me, now; everyone forgets I’m an empath.”

Nebula sighed, her aura bashful. Something had certainly happened involving yaro root, and you couldn’t wait to hear it.

“Come on, Nebs!” You urged her.

“Over my dead body.”

“Spill the tea!” You said excitedly.

”We have no tea left,” Drax said from the kitchen. “I had the last teabag yesterday.”

”It’s a— it’s a figure of speech.” You turned back to Nebula. “Come on! Tell me!”

Nebula sighed. “This was awhile ago...”

”Back when she was still angsty and a little evil.” Peter chimed in.

Nebula shot him a glare, and focused back onto you. “...I had just got taken back into the ship, after being sold to them as a reward by the Kree.”

”Um, I’m sorry?”

”That’s not what this is about.”

”I feel like it should be?”

”It’s a different story. It doesn’t matter.” She waved it off.

You looked at her skeptically. “Okay...”

”So I was handcuffed in the ship,” Nebula continued, idly holding her glass like she was telling a casual story. “And I wanted a yaro root that they had. But they wouldn’t give it to me.”

“Wow, rude.”

Gamora held up her hand in a ‘just wait’ position.

”We told her it wasn’t ripe.” Drax said. “Multiple times.”

”And eventually, I got the root—“

”What were you doing when you got the root?” Peter scratched innocently on the side of his nose.

Reluctantly, Nebula sighed. “...I had just shot Yondu in the head—“

”I’m _sorry_?” You repeated. “Is that how he died?”

”Nope.” Peter said.

”Wh—“

”So I did that,” Nebula continued. “And I had the root. So—“

”Oh my stars,” Rocket said from the helm of the ship. Apparently, he just heard what was going on. He scurried up towards you all with such urgency, you would think his tail had just been set on fire. “Is she telling the—“

”The yaro root story. Yes.” Drax said, hands on his belt.

Rocket started to cackle. “Ha! Where is she now?”

”She just got the root.” Gamora smirked.

”Oh-ho-ho-ho!” Rocket rubbed his hands together. “I was the only one to see this happen! It was the best!”

You turned to Nebula with your eyebrows raised. “This must be a good story.”

Nebula sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. “They just enjoy goading me on.”

”Go on! Go on!” Rocket persuades Nebula. “Tell her what happened!”

”So,” she drew out the word, hoping for no more interruptions. “I had just shot Yondu.”

”Still not over that.” You said. “Continue.”

”And I had the yaro root in my hand.”

”Also, it was like, a dumb clamp hand.” Rocket chimed in. “Like the kind you would see in a... what are those things? In Earth arcades? Peter won’t shut up about them.”

”A claw machine?”

Rocket cackled again. “She had it in a stupid claw machine hand!”

Nebula glared at him. “Please, let me get this over with.”

Rocket quelled his laughing, which then turned into a suppressed giggle. You could hear him snigger, still.

“I had the root. And then I took—“

”You skipped a very vital part.” Peter interrupted.

”Augh! Let me end my suffering!” Nebula exclaimed.

”You have to say what you said.” Drax chimed in. “It is essential to the story.”

You clapped your hands together. “Yes, please. Say what you said.”

Nebula sighed, and looked away, scratching at her face. “I said ‘hello, boys’.”

A laugh escaped you, and Nebula looked upset. “Sorry.” You covered your mouth. “I can just... I can just imagine it... so vividly.”

”Please, let me finish, and then you can laugh.”

”God, it’s just such a good line, but it’s so... sultry.”

”Calm yourself, Five Suits.” Rocket grimaced.

”It’s hilarious!”

Nebula cleared her throat.

You sat up straight and put your hands in your lap, trying to be serious. “Okay.” You were still biting back a smile.

”I said, ‘hello, boys’, then I finally bit into the root. It wasn’t ripe. I spit it out.” She finished the story with a quick and deadpan expression.

Trying to keep in your laughter, you sputtered. You then immediately started to laugh. You could visualize it so clearly. Her lowering her gun, and everyone turns to look at her. She purrs, ‘hello, boys’. Takes a big, juicy bite out of the root, then immediately spits it out and, still trying to be cool, says ‘it’s not ripe’.

There was something so profoundly funny about that, imagining the Nebula you knew now blow someone away, say an action hero line, then spit out some alien vegetable that she wanted so badly. And the others told her it wasn’t ripe! Why was she so persistent with it?

You had to cover your face, and put your head down on the table, resting your forehead on your arms. This was almost too much.

Rocket was cackling alongside you, and Peter just grinned. Gamora seemed to be biting back laughter or her own, and Drax guffawed loudly. With all this noise, Groot came out of him room, irritated.

”I am Groot.” He said angrily.

”Sorry, buddy.” Rocket wheezed. “Nebula— was just telling the yaro root story again.”

Groot cracked a smile at that, despite his angsty teenage facade. He even laughed a little before turning around and walk back to his room.

”I am Groot.” He said.

Rocket just laughed even harder.

Coughing, you tried to sit up straight. You were at that phase of laughter where it started to hurt a little bit.

”Oh, my God—“ You wheezed, holding your stomach. “It’s torture now. I can’t stop.”

Nebula was just rubbing her temples, annoyed. “It’s not that funny.”

”It’s pretty funny.” Peter smiled.

”It’s even funnier if you were there!” Rocket laughed.

”I didn’t see you laughing when it happened.” Nebula glared.

”That’s because you had just shot Yondu. If you didn’t, I would be laughing pretty hard.”

”My lungs are gonna collapse,” You wheezed. “Buh—“

”Deep breaths, Alex.” Gamora said from the kitchen.

You giggled more, trying to cover your mouth. You laughed so hard, you snorted, which made you laugh even more. When Nebula heard you snort, she began to snicker herself. That just made you laugh, so hard that it hurt your sides and you struggled to breathe.

”Oh, man—“ You wheezed. “Augh. You would think the pain would make it less funny.” The laughter in you died down for just a second, then it started again. “It doesn’t,” You wheezed again. “It really doesn’t. I don’t think I can eat this, or ever even look at a yaro root again.”

You set it down on the table, and Nebula pat you on the back. “You look like you need to lie down.” She said.

You began to cough. “Yeah,” you choked out. “Aw, man. Nebula... you’re the greatest.”

Nebula scratched at her face again. “I know.” But you could feel the joy radiating off of her anyway.

The laughing died down in you again, this time for good, thankfully. The burn on your stomach already hurt enough, and now your aching sides added to that pain a little bit. Oh, well, people did say that laughter was the best medicine.

”Hey,” you smiled at Nebula. “Since I cant eat right now... want that yaro root?”

Nebula furrowed her brow. She was determined to enjoy this root.  “As a matter of fact,” she picked it up. “I will.”

You grinned widely as she took a gigantic bite out of it. You grinned even wider when she stopped chewing, but didn’t swallow.

”Neb?” You strained. “Something wrong?”

Nebula stood, slowly, with a mouthful of yaro root. “I have to leave.” She turned on her heel, and walked like nothing was wrong to the bathroom.

You laughed so hard you didn’t make a sound.

* * *

It was noon now (by your internal clock, not by any external sources). Yes, Nebula had indeed, once again eaten an unripe yaro root. Today was going pretty great so far. For you, at least. Not for Nebula. She was a little embarrassed.

“Think of it this way.” You said. “You saved me from eating an unripe yaro root.”

”Shut up.” Nebula mumbled.

”My hero.”

By now, you had reached the point in time in the ship where things slowed down. Everyone was up. No one had much to do, since you didn’t have any jobs or missions offered today, so you would often laze around. sometimes with Nebula, sometimes with the group, sometimes by yourself. As of now, you were hanging out with Mantis.

You hadn’t been around her as of late. You were always a little worried with one wrong move, she would spill your secret. But that didn’t happen, and your coming out was smooth and unspoiled. This allowed you to talk with her more freely now.

”So, Mannie.” You smiled at her, looking up from a game on your phone. “I’m impressed.”

”With what?” She cocked her head, confused.

“With keeping my secret for so long.” You looked back down as you talked. “I thought that you would out me a lot sooner.”

”Yes, I am bad with secrets.” Mantis nodded. “But you were very serious, and a little scary.”

You inhaled. “Yeah, Sorry. It was just kind of stressful.”

”I understand. Once you told me about home-of-phobia, I really did not want to tell your secret.”

”Homophobia.” You corrected her. “And yeah, you did a good job. I hope you don’t feel as pressured now.”

”I do not!” Mantis smiled. “Now we can talk about your gay all we want!”

You smiled back, then looked over your shoulder. “Speaking of gay!” You put away your phone.

Nebula had just walked into the room, changed back into her leather. She narrowed her eyes at you. “Ha, Ha.”

“Good afternoon.” You greeted her.

She just sat down next to you. “Hi.”

”Hello, Nebula.” Mantis said.  She stood up, and began to walk off. “Goodbye.”

”Hey, where’re you going, Mantis?” You asked as she walked right by you.

She turned to look at the two of you. “Rocket has said that we should leave the room when the two of you are together to prevent vomiting.” With that, she smiled, waved, and left.

You sighed. “What an a-hole. Rocket, i mean. Mantis is just listening to him.”

Nebula shrugged. “I’m glad we’re alone, anyway.”

You wiggles your eyebrows. “Oh?” Despite the teasing, your face tinged red.

Nebula sighed, but in a good hearted as she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, it’s good that you’re here.” You said. “Because I was going to ask if I could spar with you again.”

Nebula raised her eyebrows. “Really? Even with your burn?”

”I’m fine. I’m not limping around and stuff anymore, so I’ll be okay.” You assured her.

”Still.”

”Relax!” You told her. “I’ll bring one of my suits. Rocket finally got around to prying that bug off of my original, so I can finally wear it again.”

”Not like you missed it.” She smirked. “You have four others.”

You scoffed. “Don’t even start.”

”Besides,” Nebula gestured to the hull’s window. All you could see in front of you now was space. “We haven’t landed anywhere.”

”I know.” You replied.

“... then how would we spar?”

You sucked in air through your teeth. “Ahh, forget it. Never mind.”

”That’s the last way to make anyone drop something.” Nebula deadpanned.

You shook your head. “Never mind!” You repeated.

She leaned in closer to you. “I did not open up,” She said. “So you could be secretive about your feelings.”

”How the tables have tabled.”

Nebula sighed. “Spit it out.”

”I was hoping... we could stargaze.”

”Then why didn’t you say so?”

You shrugged bashfully. “I’m still not used to asking you on real dates. Sorry.”

”Then let’s stargaze.” She took your hand, then looked out the window.

You hummed. “You know... I think the glass really dulls the experience.” You gave her a knowing look, and squeezed her hand.

Nebula looked back to you. “You think?” She said in her deep, even voice.

”Yeah.” You nodded. “Though I do want to see the stars...” you sighed wistfully.

”Just not in here?” She knew what you were leading on to.

Your face split into a grin. “Not in here.”

* * *

The spacesuits by the exit of the ship said that they could only be used in case of emergency, or for fun. You felt as if it was justified for Nebula to take one— after all, it did say for fun, and you were planning on having fun.

Nebula took the circular object and put it in her back, then a thin film of silvery hexagons covered her body. The suit was in place.

Smiling, you clicked on your suit. Pacify, your original. Who you felt like you really were. It was fantastic to have it on again, and when the suit stopped forming, You audibly sighed.

”How’s it feel?” Nebula tilted her head towards you.

”It’s the greatest.” Your face was covered by the metal and visor, but she could still hear the joy once your voice.

”Is it safe to go out into space in that?”

”Yeah.” You nodded. “Airtight, has oxygen supply... I’m good. And if I pass out, you can save me.”

”I promise.” Nebula laughed. She took another object— you had learned that it was a little rocket that you could strap to your feet so you could fly. Handy. This way she wouldn’t get lost in space.

You put two fingers to your ear. You had your communicator in, and you had to make sure it worked. “Testing, testing. Hi, Nebby, over.”

”Hi.” She mimicked your stance, putting two fingers to her ear as well. “Over.”

”Love you, Nebula. Over and out.”

Nebula’s eyes darted away, and she scratched at her face. “Love you too.”

You took her hand, smiling. “Ready?”

She nodded.

You opened the hatch, both of your deploying your jets. You flew out, and you immediately began to laugh.

”What?” She asked.

”It’s only the second time I’ve ever been out in space.” You giggled. “Out of the ship, I mean. And now it’s a date.”

”How times change.”

The two of you flew your way up on top of the ship, holding hands. You were grasping Nebula’s much more tightly, and you hoped she wouldn’t noticed because it was her robotic hand. Even though you were together, and you felt safe, you were still out in the void of space, which was something that you never really had gotten used to. She, of course, noticed.

The two of you sat down on the top of the ship. It was stationary, so you didn’t have to worry about it blasting off without you. You scootched a little bit, getting comfortable.

You sighed. “Look at this.” You gestured up to the stars.

Nebula didn’t hear you. There was no oxygen in space— people couldn’t hear things. Whoops. You pressed two fingers to your ear. “Look at this.” You repeated.

”Don’t worry. It’s not like I can’t.” She said back.

”People would kill for this kind of view back on Earth.”

”Eh.” Nebula shrugged offhandedly. “It’s fine.”

You smacked her with the back of your hand on the shoulder playfully. She snickered.

”And now, we gaze.”

”Let’s.”

You smiled. And as you did, you wished Nebula could see that smile. Pacify’s suit covered your entire face, leaving nothing visible, so it was her best guess to what you were feeling unless you told her.

You laid back, lacing your fingers behind your head. Nebula did the same, but kept her hands folded over her stomach. The two of you stared at the stars, closer than you ever could have imagined them on Earth. You were right. People really would kill for this kind of view on Earth. It was brilliant. Spectacular. The shapes of the universe that were so undefined and colorful kept blending into one another, similar to how Nebula’s emotions were when she ‘confessed’ to you.

That felt... oddly long ago. How long ago did that happen? The days were blurring a little bit. Not that that was a bad thing. Not at all. It was just a little harder to discern when things began and ended. Like days. Maybe that’s just how it was in space. The laws of Time didn’t matter here. There was nothing except the vast emptiness around you, and your girlfriend beside you.

”Hey,” you grinned, putting a finger to your communicator. “Guess what?”

”What?”

”With all the nebulae around me...” you turned your head to her. “The only one I want to look at is you.”

Nebula shook her head, almost disappointed in you. “That was awful.” She said.

”I know. I’m sorry. I wanted to try something romantic.” You sighed.

Nebula smiled teasingly at you, and you laughed, then turned back up the stars. Oh, well. At least she took it in stride.

You thought more about Nebula, and who she was as a person. She was fantastic, obviously. Beautiful. Becoming more considerate. All the qualities that you admired about people were in her— and you thanked the stars for that. You were incredibly grateful for her.

Her history might have pushed other people away. Scratch that, actually... she pushed away other people because of her history. Because of how she was raised. Being a murderer can’t be great for your social life, obviously. She had gotten much better though—being with you was a gigantic step that lead to smaller steps. Spending more time around the others. Being more affectionate towards you. Coming out seemed to be the penultimate opening-up step. But even when given chances to be around the Guardians, she would still sometimes falter.

That was alright. It had only been four and a half months. And you had only been dating her for... how long was it, anyway? It was back to the time thing. Maybe three weeks? Maybe a little more? A little less?

The way she acted around you, you would think a lot more. You smiled to yourself, focusing on one particularly pretty patch of the universe that was colored blue and purple.

Nebula was great. You really loved her. You could actually imagining spending your life with her, as scary and embarrassing it sounded. You weren’t one to think about the future that seriously. And you wouldn’t even entertain the idea of asking her to marry you right now. Hell, you had no clue if you had been together more than a month! But it was fun to imagine the little things.

Walking through Central Park on a sunny day. You teaching her about Earth customs and social norms, and introducing her to pop culture. The two of you watching that movie that Nebula wanted to watch. It made your heart fill with warm fuzzies.

You sighed. Spending time with her made you so happy. Being around her made you so happy. Her opening up and trusting you—

Then your stomach thudded. The warm fuzzies had swiftly departed.

She trusted you. She trusted you so much, now— maybe even more than anyone else on the team. It was astounding to think about. All this trust that she had given you— when she had danced with you. When you asked if you could draw her. The times you snapped pictures of her in your everyday life, all the little things that she trusted you in.

You had violated that the moment you came into contact with the children of Thanos.

You froze, this negative train of thought starting up again. You hissed a curse, thankful Nebula couldn’t hear. You had suppressed this thought so long, the one about those stupid children of Thanos— but no. It was back. It was back, and it was angry.

You continued to stare at the stars like nothing was wrong. It was like a volcano had lain dormant for centuries, and it was about to blow.

The thoughts flooded your mind, not telling Nebula that her father had some kind of disgusting plan. You didn’t even know what the plan was, but you knew he had one. You didn’t tell Nebula, who’s greatest motivator in her life was getting vengeance on her father, that he was scheming about something. You knew. You had information. But you wouldn’t dispense it.

For what? Some cheap threat?

But you tried to reason with yourself, still. That it wasn’t a hollow threat. You had no clue what they were capable of.

You swallowed.

“What’s wrong?” Nebula asked, pressing two finger to her ear. Her voice was filtered directly into your own ear.

”What?” You turned to her, pressing your own fingers to your ear.

”Did I hurt your feelings about the line?” Nebula rolled over so she was on her side, propped up on her elbow. “Because if I did—“

”It’s not that.” You said quickly, sitting up. “I’m okay.”

Nebula furrowed her brow at you, then you heard her voice again. But not in your ear.

 _Alex_ , she said.

You sighed. The telepathy again. You should have just gone with that in the first place.

_I’m really okay. You responded. I mean it._

_Are you sure?_

_Why would you think I’m upset?_

_You get still_. _And you looked like a statue._ Nebula sat up as well, looking you dead in the eye.

 _I’m fine._ You swallowed _. It’s just... being out on the roof of the ship. It seems a little dangerous._

 _I’m a dangerous woman._ Nebula smirked. _Your words, not mine._

You nodded, happy to change the subject. _Dangerous indeed. But you’ll still keep me safe._

Thankful that the conversation was dropped, you lay back down. Nebula did so too. You exhaled, staring back into the abyss.

But despite laughing off the horrible feeling, you still felt something. Lingering. In stirred inside of you, and you tried to place where you had felt it before. Looking up again into the vastness of space, you looked for a name, identification of what was happening inside you. It was an abscence, almost, as if inside you there was—

A black hole.

You gulped. That weird, cryptic dream. As much as it sounded cliche and horrible... did it mean something?

No. it couldn’t have. It was just the guilt.

But... maybe that was it.

This guilt, this stress, it was eating you alive. It was devouring you in anxiety, whether you paid attention to it or not. It would be there, in your mind, and you would never have true rest until you told the truth. This dream wasn’t a sign, or a cryptic symbol from the universe or whatever.

It was your own mind, telling you that enough was enough. It seemed to be happening all over again— breaking down because of all the lies.

Your face screwed up, and you were now happy that Nebula couldn’t see through the dark visor. What could you do? What could you even think of yourself now? Trying to calm yourself down, you turned to reason, turned to trying to appeal to your own psyche.

Ethos, logos, and pathos were your options. Ethics, logic, and emotions.

You thought about emotions, first, since that was what you most indemnified with. Emotions were your thing, and you could sort them out we’ll enough in other people. With you, it was a little trickier, since you had personal bias and no second party to advise you. But you tried your best, anyway. Emotionally, you didn’t want to say anything. You couldn’t say anything. The child of Thanos had said that if you did, all your friends would die, then the rest of the galaxy. Reasonable enough. You didn’t want any harm to come to your friends— but what about the universe?

You turned your thoughts to logic. It was pretty cut-and-dry, logic-wise. You had no proof that the children of Thanos can hear everything, everywhere. So logically, you could say something. But you couldn’t operate on logic alone. If you said something, or communicated in some way that the Galaxy was in danger, there was a chance you could save it. You were a Guardian, after all. But where would you even go? What would you do? You didn’t even know their plan.

You tried, once more, to reason with yourself. You tried to think about this in the way of ethics. Simplifying it down, once more, into the trolley problem, you imagined your options. Endanger your friends, and let the galaxy suffer? Or let your friends potentially be safe, then let the galaxy suffer?

One option caught your eye, more than it did before. ‘Potentially’.

There was no guarantee that the children of Thanos wouldn’t do something to you when the time came. They wouldn’t just pass you over, or show you mercy, or even let you put up a fight. They hadn’t given you their word in anything. And what about the rest of the galaxy? You could at least try to save them. Save them in some way.

Of course, how could you alert them of the danger anyway? You already knew you couldn’t afford to risk the children hearing you, wherever you were.

But you couldn’t sit on your hands with your mouth shut.

The galaxy was in danger. You were guarding it.

You had to do something. 

A thought hit you like a brick. You had the means of communication without anyone hearing, anywhere in the galaxy, except the person you were talking to.

After all, what kind of idiot wouldn’t utilize her telepathy?

Logic was out. Immediately, with that mode of communication solved, you had the means to save the whole galaxy. Your breath caught in your throat— now all that was left was emotions and ethics.

Ethically speaking, telling the others was a good idea. Through telepathy, you could save the whole galaxy. So why weren’t you doing anything now? It was because of the previous danger that they had faced, and what you knew about Thanos. He was brutal. Horrible. Someone bad who thought he was good, in simplest terms. And that made him a threat.

If you told the Guardians, would you be throwing them into danger? Gamora has said before, even after they had destroyed a planet, that they couldn’t destroy Thanos. After destroying a _planet_. That was what had convinced Nebula to stay behind, anyway—

Nebula. If Nebula knew about this, she would leave. She would immediately break off from the group, and go on her own to destroy her father, to try and kill him in cold blood.

This is where the emotions kicked in, the horrible, wretched conglomerates of complicated feelings and ideas. You loved her. And you wanted to help her. But you knew if she tried to face Thanos on her own, she would be doomed. And you knew that she would indeed try and face him on her own, because she was so close to leaving the team just after Yondu’s funeral. She was so close, but Gamora kept her back by the skin of her teeth.

It would be so easy to lose her again, like a blade of grass in the wind. It would be so quick, so instantaneous.

But this feeling was swept away by another, a stronger feeling. The feeling that Nebula needed to know the truth about her father. You were keeping back vital information about Thanos, her sworn enemy, and she trusted you. She trusted you so much.

You couldn’t betray that.

You swallowed. You didn’t know what to do.

You turned your head towards Nebula, staring at the shape of her face. How the stars illuminated the blue of her skin, and how her metal shone, glistening. You stared at the eyes that held more interesting galaxies in it than the one you were in right now. You stared at her as if this were the last time you would ever see her.

You were a Guardian of the Galaxy. And now it was time to guard it.

 _I love you._ You forced telepathically.

Nebula turned her head in your direction and smiled gently. _I love you too._

 _I mean it,_ your internal voice sped up. _I love you so much. You... you mean a lot to me._

You hadn’t looked at Nebula’s aura in awhile. For a long time, you didn’t need to. Ever since she had finally opened up, you paid less attention to her aura and more attention to her. But now, you could feel what she was feeling. It was dread.

 _Alex?_ Nebula replied. _You sound scared._

 _I am._ You didn’t know what you were doing.

 _Alex?_ Nebula repeated.

Your body was frozen.

 _I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt more scared in my entire life._ You had never laughed telepathically. First time for everything.

What is going on? Her internal voice became more strict. Tight.

_I need to tell you something, you said. I have to._

_Then tell me._

_I’m not sure if I can. But I have to, or I won’t be able to sleep at night._

_Tell me right now, Alex._

_I’m sorry I ruined our date._ You could feel your eyes begin to well up, and your throat begin to close.

“Alex,” she barked, putting her fingers on her communicator. She was sitting up now.

”I can’t say it out loud.” You whispered. Your voice was so incredibly small, and your hand shook against your ear.

 _Why?!_ Nebula exclaimed. You didn’t know a voice in your head could be so loud.

_They could hear us._

With that, Nebula’s eyes widened. The film of the spacesuit on her body produced an iridescent sheen, as if she were incased in a thin layer of ice.with how still she was, you thought she might have been.

 _Who?_ Nebula demanded.

You squeezed your eyes shut, biting your lips so hard you thought you might draw blood. Despite how tight your eyelids were, tears still slipped through the cracks and spilled down your cheeks.

_The children of Thanos._

You didn’t see what had happened. You were covering your face, but that didn’t hide anything, you were already wearing a helmet. It didn’t do anything. You heard Nebula stand up.

”What?!” She hissed.

 _On the jungle planet,_ your internal voice even began to sob. _That was them. They said if I said anything, they would kill you—_

Nebula cursed. You couldn’t hear it; she didn’t have her fingers on her communicator. But you opened your eyes, just to peek at her, looking up from your cowardly protection, and you saw her with her eyes squeezed shut now, hands balled into fists, and teeth gritted.

She flung her head back, and her jaw almost unhinged. She was screaming. She was screaming into the abyss. Screaming into a void where no one could hear her, screaming about God only knew what. Was it anger with Thanos? With you? Both?

You were unbelievably terrified.

”Nebula?” You whimpered, weakly pressing on your communicator. “I—“

”Stop.” She growled. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Your voice got weaker. “Nebula— I’m sorry—“

”He’s already dead.” She stared you dead in the eye. “I’m coming to deface his corpse.”

Your spirit seemed to leave your body as she kicked on your jet boots and flew back to the docking bay.

In a panic, you kicked on yours as well, flying after her with absolute fear in your heart.

Her aura now was astounding. You couldn’t look away. It could be likened to a car crash— horrible, violent, but for whatever reason, it seemed to suck in all of your attention. It made you sick. You wish it had never happened. But at the same time, you couldn’t focus on anything but it. Nebula’s aura practically devoured you.

The door closed behind you. No one was in the main hub of the ship, thank god. Nebula tore off the disc on her back and threw it at the wall with a scream.

”Nebula!” You quickly stripped yourself of your suit, not even caring that you dropped it on the floor. “Nebula, please—“

She grabbed you by the forearms and slammed you against the wall. “Don’t you ‘please’ me.”

”I couldn’t say anything—“ the tears came back again. “They said they would kill you!”

”Don’t you be selfish,” she hissed. “And think about _me_.” She tightened her grip.

“I didn’t say anything because I was scared!”

”You always are!” She shoved you back, letting go. “You’re afraid of everything!”

”I didn’t want you to die!”

”I can handle myself!” She yelled back. “They slipped under my nose. They were right there, and I could have killed them.”

”Nebula—“ You cried.

”I could have killed them! And _you_  let them escape!”

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered. ”You could have gotten hurt!”

”I can handle _myself_!” She exclaimed once more.

You were full on crying now, blubbering, unable to form a coherent sentence. You just made pathetic sounds.

“I am going,” Nebula said, picking back up the disc she threw. “To kill my father.”

”No!” You tried to grab her by the wrist, but she wrenched it away from you. In a flash, she had turned back around.

”I am going.” She said in a low growl. “And you cannot stop me.”

”I can sure as hell try!” You croaked.

”You’re going to get yourself hurt.”

”Good thing I’m a masochist.” You wiped your nose, voice still hoarse.

Nebula’s face fell, and she just put it in her hands. “Alex, don’t you dare—“

”You are part of a team!” You exclaimed.

“I was never a part of any team.”

“I-I can tell the others!” You were grasping at straws now. You didn’t know what to do.

”No.” She hissed. “You will tell them nothing. And you will not follow me.”

”Why shouldn’t I?!”

”Because if you died, I would have nothing else to live for!” She screamed back.

You were quiet. Quiet just for a moment, then you retaliated, before the weight of what she had said could really sink in.

”That is not true,” you said, harsh.

“You don’t know how I feel!” Nebula screamed.

Silence fell over the two of you again.

You sighed, and now it was your turn to put your face in your hands, and rub your tears away.

”You can’t go,” You croaked. “I won’t let you.”

”I don’t need anyone’s permission.” She scowled.

”Please.” You were begging now. “Please stay.”

Nebula turned, so you couldn’t see her face. “I’m leaving in three hours, when everyone is asleep. Don’t tell them where I’m going.”

”You aren’t going to?” You sobbed.

Nebula didn’t respond. “Say goodbye then.”

And before you could say anything, she walked away, down to her room. You could hear the click of the lock from all the way at the end of the hallway.

* * *

You had lay in your bed, crying for a good couple of hours. It seemed like no one else on the ship had heard anything— thankfully. A few of them knocked on your door for dinner, but you politely refused.

Three hours had come and gone. You weren’t ready to say goodbye.

Everyone else was asleep by then, away in their beds, none the wiser for what was going on. You wish you were as blissfully unaware as they were.

You went back to the docking bay, but Nebula wasn’t there. You panicked, a little bit. Why wasn’t she here? It had been three hours. Did you miss the time? Was she gone?

Your train of thought was broken by the sound of someone setting down a bag. Looking back into the main hub, you saw her— Nebula was in front of the escape pod that was attached to the ship. That’s what she was leaving in. You released a sigh, then paced over to her.

”Hi.” You croaked. You realized that your eyes were still red and your hair was a mess. You didn’t care.

Nebula turned around and looked at you. But she looked at you like the day she first saw you. Cold. Uninterested. Your stomach knitted itself up.

”I... I’ve come to say goodbye.” You held your elbows as if you were hugging yourself. “If... you’re really leaving.”

”I am.” Nebula said, voice dull. She crouched down and rifled through her bag.

You sniffed. “I’m sorry.”

”Stop apologizing.”

”Sorry.”

Nebula didn’t laugh that time. She just looked mad.

”Well,” you wiped your nose. “I guess this is goodbye.”

”I’ll be back.” She had all the confidence in the world. In the galaxy, rather— she was adamant that she would kill her father.

”You don’t know that.” 

“I do.” Nebula picked up her bag. “I will kill Thanos.”

”Please,” your voice was thin. “Please stay safe.”

”I can’t guaruntee that.” She opened the hatch to the pod.

It was all happening too soon. You had to do something. To continue the conversation.

“Wh-what do I tell the others?” You asked desperately.

Nebula didn’t even look at you. “Nothing.” She said, typing on a holographic screen. “Because you were asleep when I left. You’re going to wake up, and have no clue why I’ve left.”

”I can’t do that.”

”You can.” Nebula looked you dead in the eye. “You’ve lied about other things.”

That was it. That was enough to break you. Your brow furrowed in anger and confusion, and your vision got blurred by tears. You could hardly breathe. You felt like you were tapped in space without a suit, cold and dying.

It felt as if you hadn’t made any progress at all. It felt like Nebula was a perfect stranger all over again. Like all your conversations, laughter, sharing, like it was all gone. It had never existed.

Nebula continued to enter something on the screen as you tried to stifle your crying.

”I’m sorry,” you whispered through the tears.

Nebula’s eyes shifted to you, then back the screen.

”I—“ you swallowed. “I didn’t know what to do. I was so... scared, and confused, and I didn’t want you to get hurt—“

”I’m sorry.” 

You looked up. Nebula had just apologized.

”I...” Nebula sighed, turning her attention to you now and taking her hand off the keypad. “That was out of line of me.”

You released a tense breath, the knot in your chest loosening.

”I don’t want to be mad at you. I’m just... mad. In general.”

You nodded.

”I’m furious,” she continued. “I’m furious you didn’t say anything until now. Who knows where in the galaxy they could be?” Her voice got louder as she progressed, but she caught herself so she wouldn’t wake anyone up.

”I know,” you rubbed at your eyes. “And I’m—“

”I know how sorry you are.” Nebula stopped you. “So listen to my apology.”

You bit your lip and nodded vigorously, urging her to continue.

”...You told me that you were scared.” Nebula said. “I am too. Part of me doesn’t want to leave. But I had spent my whole life despising that horrible beast of a life form, and now I can finally destroy him.”

You shook your head, ever so slightly. “Nebula—“

”And I know you’re going to ask me to stay.” She interrupted. “I’m not. You can’t change my mind. I’m sorry.”

”Please, let me come with you.” You said over her.

Nebula stopped, almost surprised that you said that.

”You didn’t think I would let you go in your own?” You whispered. “Did you?”

”You can’t come.” Nebula urged, Looking back to the keypad. “I told you before. You’re safe here. You cannot get hurt, not if I have any say in it.”

”And I won’t let _you_ get hurt if I have any say in it.”

”I don’t know what Thanos is doing,” She huffed. “But I need to kill him before he has any say in anything.”

”...you really are leaving, aren’t you?” Your voice was filled with defeat.

”You thought I wasn’t?” She continued to type.

Crinkling your brow, you wiped at your eyes. You really didn’t want to ruin this by crying all over again.

”Hey.” Nebula whispered. She turned to face you. “I’m not just killing my father out of vengeance.”

You looked at her.

”I am going to kill him,” she continued. “To save everyone else. To save you. I’m doing this so I can finally do something good in my life; and save good people.”

”What are you talking about?” You whispered back. “You’ve always been good.”

Nebula have you a sad, sad smile. She turned back to typing, face straight.

You bit your lip, urgently looking around the room. “Wait. Please. I need to give you something.”

Nebula stopped typing and eyed you, not moving her head. After just a moment, she looked back at the screen and said “hurry.”

You bolted to your room and threw open your top drawer, the one that had the suits inside. You took out Andromeda, and then ran back out to the pod, breathing heavily.

”I,” You sniffed. “I need to give this to you.”

Nebula lifted her hand from the screen, then turned her body to face you. You held the visor out anxiously to her.

She put out her hand and took it.

”I know you say you’ll be fine,” You gulped. “And... you’re incredibly powerful and capable. But it never hurts to have extra insurance.” You smiled weakly.

”This is yours.” Nebula looked up from the visor to you.

”And now I’m giving it to you.”

”But Tony—“

”I’m not in love with Tony.” You said, not sure where that line came from.

She looked back up at you, then back down at the suit.

”And if you don’t want to wear it,” you held your arm self-consciously. “Then at least hold onto it. To remember me.”

Her eyes drifted back upwards, her eyes locking back onto yours. They were soft now. No longer filled with fury.

”How could I forget?”

That turned on the waterworks. You began with a steady cry, then descended into sobs. You had been crying so much lately, it almost made you dizzy. You dove forward into your girlfriend, crying your eyes out, and hugging her tightly.

She hugged you back, gripping you like a life preserver. 

“I love you,” You cried. “I love you more than I can say.”

”I love you too,” Nebula squeezed you. “I’ll miss you.”

”This hurts so much.” You sobbed.

”Good thing you’re a masochist.”

Your forced a bitter smile. “Sadist.”

Nebula was the first to let go. She knew that she had to leave. As horrible and abysmal the thought was, she had to leave. You still kept your arms hooked around your neck.

”This is happening so fast.” You whispered. Your faces were inches away from one another. “I feel like I met you yesterday.”

”And I’ll practically be back tomorrow.” Nebula whispered back.

She put a cold hand on the side of your face, and you practically melted into it. You closed your eyes and leaned into the hand, sighing.

Nebula leaned forward and kissed you, softly, delicately. It was bittersweet.

You opened your eyes, no longer crying now. Nebula pulled back, and stared deep into your own. The black of her eyes was intoxicating, and you felt like you were on top of the ship all over again.

”I love you.” You repeated. You couldn’t say it enough.

”I need to go.” It sounded like Nebula’s throat was closing. “I’m sorry.”

”I know.” You whimpered.

Nebula smiled at you, sadly. You kept looking at her, never tearing your eyes away. You really were getting your final look at her.

She closed the pod door. You could still see her through the glass, and she was still looking at you too. You waved, sadly.

She waved back.

The pod dropped.

* * *

 The following morning, you were the last to wake up. Everyone asked you where Nebula was. You responded, in a confused tone, that you hadn’t seen her.

Rocket was the one that found out that one of the escape pods was missing. No note. Nebula left no indicator of why she had left. The only things that were missing from her room were her swords, her bag of tools, and a few clothes.

The t-shirt and sweatpants that she had gotten stayed in their drawers. Your candle also still remained in her room.

Everyone gave you their apologies. Gamora especially tried to comfort you when you began to cry. You refused their help.

You walked into Nebula’s room that day. You found that the yaro root she had bitten into the previous morning was still there. It had her teeth marks on it.

You sniffed it. It was finally ripe.

You hurled it all the wall with all your strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohohohoho now things are happening


	20. Two Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been two months since Nebula went to seek vengeance on her father.
> 
> And when a living corpse plants itself on the windshield of the ship, you may be able to find her.

The opening notes of _Rubberband Man_ began to play.

And you sang along. Quietly, yes, but you were still singing.

It had been two months since Nebula made an eager goodbye to the Guardians and went off to kill her father. She was out somewhere in the vast expanse of space, and you had no clue if she was okay, or even alive. It was your best guess as to if you would ever see her again.

You were... sad, mostly. Why shouldn’t you have been? Your girlfriend was alone in space. You would have been mad, if she left with no reason. But no. She was completely justified in going out. Nebula had practically lived to kill her father. You weren’t one to get irrationally mad, so you were just upset in her abscence. 

You just missed holding her. Seeing her. Thinking about her and knowing that she was always close by.

Trying to apply more logic into your life, you thought about what Nebula was thinking. That her girlfriend had a secret about her dangerous father, and she didn’t say anything because she was afraid, and wanted to protect her. Someone who’s didn’t need to be protected. Of course, Nebula’s proud demeanor and lone-wolf attitude would make her think that way.

But part of you had thought that she had changed, at least just a little bit. She became more open. Trusting, over the time you spent together. You truly did love one another, and you never doubted that for a second of the two months she was gone. But old habits died hard, you guessed. At her core, you couldn’t change who Nebula really was.

And part of you didn’t want to. You didn’t fall in love with the little-more-smiley, little-more-happy Nebula. You liked the real Nebula. The one that was a little bitter and could snark with the best of them.

You still felt hurt though. Above all, you were hurt. That she would just leave like that. Logic aside, when you thought about how quickly she jumped in the pod, and you felt betrayed how easy it wasn’t for her to leave. To leave you.

You had withheld that vital information from her, and when she finally got it, she pounced. Obviously. Why wouldn’t she?

Your paranoia said that she was eager to leave.

Coping with hiding this information from the Guardians wasn’t easy either. You practically burst whenever you thought about the fact that thanos was out there, and the others were blissfully unaware. But what could you even do? Where would you go? The indecision mixed with the fear made a horrible cocktail of emotions that prevented you from sleep. 

Long story short, it wasn’t easy. Being away from her for so long wasn’t even a little bit easy.

But you had improved, even if just a little bit. Yes, of course, you were still scared out of your mind that Nebula wasn’t safe out there. You missed her every single day. But after about two weeks of wallowing and not leaving your room, you got up. You did things, and the Guardians helped you.

Throughout this disaster, the Guardians were 100% behind you. They supported and cares for you in ways that only a real family could. It really did make you feel a lot better. Gamora hugged you, and consoled you over Nebula leaving, even though she felt sorrow over it too. Peter would share music with you, and tell you it wasn’t your fault and that Nebula definitely missed you as much as you missed her. Drax would give you encouragement, and help you even get out of bed in the morning. Rocket teased ou a lot less, and bought you a drink once. Groot would say hello to you when you came in, and snarked less. Mantis helped you sleep.

They didn’t just offer support and leave you to your own devices. They made you get off of the ship and join them on missions and outings, trying to get you back into the swing of things. Even though you hated it sometimes, you appreciated how much they cared about you. So you listened. And they were right. You actually did start feeling better.

The Guardians forced you to get out and do things, even if it was just sitting with them and listening to music.

And that’s what you were doing now. You were sitting down and listening to music with your friends, and you sang along.

Under your breath, though.

Peter was sitting in the front, absolutely lost in the music. He mouthed all the words, and he knew this song by heart. It was his pick today, obviously. And he was careless in how he sang and danced in his seat. Gamora also seemed to be singing too, which made you smile a little. She really enjoyed being with her boyfriend—

Whoops. Bad thought. Now you were thinking about Nebula again.

You shook your head, trying to shake off the thought.

”Come on!” Peter exclaimed. “Sing it, Drax!”

Drax only responded with a snore. He was asleep— that made you chuckle, despite your new less than savory mood.

You sang louder, in his place.

”Yeah!” Peter exclaimed. “Go, Alex!”

”Why are we doing this, again?” Rocket asked.

”It’s a distress signal, Rocket.” Gamora looked up over her shoulder at the raccoon. “Someone could be dying.”

”Yeah, I get that.” He scratched at his face. “But... why are we doing it?”

”Because we’re nice.” Peter responded. He paused. “And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese for our effort.” He rubbed his fingers together.

“Which isn’t the point.” Gamora raised a hand.

”Which isn’t the point,” Peter repeated. “I mean, if he doesn’t pony up...”

”We take his ship.” Drax seemed to have woken up.

”Exactly!” Rocket exclaimed.

”B-b-b-b-bingo!” Peter put a pointer finger in the air.

Gamora gave him a glare, and Peter put his hand down. He gave her a look like ‘nah, we’re going to save them. It’s fine.’ She didn’t buy it, turning back around in her seat.

“Besides,” Peter turned around. “It’ll get Alex in good spirits. You love saving people.”

You shrugged, sitting up straighter. “It always does make me feel great.”

”There! See?” He said to Gamora, who still didn’t turn around.

”We are arriving.” Mantis said, staring intently at the navigator screen.

”All right, Guardians.” Peter shifted in his chair. “Don’t forget. This might be dangerous, so let’s put on our mean faces.”

Peter was interrupted by the little sounds of his 8-bit game. He was completely absorbed in it— and you were sitting right next to him, between Mantis and him, so you got the full experience.

”Groot, put that thing away.” Peter said. “I don’t want to tell you again.”

Groot didn’t respond. You nudged his shoulder. “Hey. Groot.”

”I am Groo-oot.” He said in a mocking tone.

You pulled back, offended.

”Whoa!” Peter exclaimed. Rocket chided him on his language. Gamora just snapped with a ‘hey’, and Drax was astounded, just saying wow.

”Geez.” You mumbled, sitting back in your chair. 

“You got acorns on you, kid.” Peter huffed.

”Ever since you got a little sap, you’ve been a total d-hole.” Rocket said, disgusted.

Groot continued to play, just rolling his eyes.

”Now you keep that up, and I’m gonna smash that thing to pieces!” He turned in his chair.

There was a bang that you had come accustomed to— you were out of the jump. No longer focusing on Groot, you were now looking out the window.

You lost your breath as soon as the scene came into focus.

As you came upon the scene before you, You stood up slowly. It was a massacre. There was carnage everywhere. Broken ship parts, dismembered arms, frozen corpses littering this little pocket of space. You nearly gagged. It was disgusting.

”What happened?” Mantis asked gently.

You didn’t answer. You just walked forward, slowly.

”Oh, my god...” Peter whispered, disgusted.

You all just stared into the carnage surrounding you. You couldn’t say a word. But you forced out a couple.

”Thanks, guys.” You said dryly. “I feel a lot better.”

”Looks like we aren’t gettin’ paid.” Rocket scoffed.

You exhaled, putting your face in your hands. Seeing all these people, who could have been saved somehow... it just made you tired.

Abruptly, something hit the windshield. Something big, and heavy. Something like a corpse.

You screamed, and the others exclaimed in fear as the body became plastered to the front of the ship. “Wipers! Wipers!” Rocket yelled. “Ew! Get it off!”

You screamed even louder when the corpse opened its eye.

* * *

 Gamora put the body— apparently still alive— on the table. She shook out her hands, breathing heavily from carrying the heavy weight. 

Looking at him now, your panic had lowered. He wasn’t mutiliated, just scratched up and pretty dirty— though he had an eyepatch on one eye, and if you were being honest to yourself. You didn’t want to see what was under it.

But... for whatever reason, he looked oddly familiar. Had you seen him before? No, there was no way. Besides, he was some rando from space. You couldn’t have seen him anywhere.

You still tapped a finger to your chin, thinking.

Rocket bent over him, instinctively sniffing ever so slightly. Examining his still-breathing body.

”How the hell is this dude still alive?” Peter wondered aloud, hands on his hips.

“He is not a dude.” Drax said, voice deep. You looked over to him, confused. “You are a dude.” He pointed at Peter, then at the body. “This,” he breathed. “This is a man. A handsome, muscular man.”

”A handsome muscular man.” You repeated. “Who is very familiar. Have you even seen this guy before?” You looked over to Peter. “I feel like I have.”

”I think I would remember a dude that looked like this.”

”Not a dude,” Drax repeated.

”I’m muscular.” Peter said to Dsax defensively. 

“Who you kidding, Quill.” Rocket said. “You’re one sandwich away from fat.”

”Yeah, right...” he scoffed.

”It’s true, Quill.” Drax said. “You have put on weight.”

”What?” Peter asked.

Drax gestured to his chin, indicating that he had grown a double chin. Peter looked hurt. You pat his back comfortingly.

”You’re not fat, Peter.” You said to him gently. “You’re husky.”

”Wh—“ He turned to his girlfriend. “Gamora, do you think I’m—“ 

She wasn’t paying attention. She was staring at the unconscious stranger. Peter looked at you, mouth agape in hurt. You pat him on the shoulder again, but he just shrugged it off.

”He is anxious.” Mantis said, gently pressing her hand to the stranger’s forehead. “Angry. He feels tremendous loss.. and guilt.”

”Can confirm.” You lifted up a hand. The aura coming off him was so muddled with confusion and anger, you were surprised that he hadn’t died of mental stress. “He’s real torn up.”

“It’s like a pirate had a baby with an angel.” Drax whispered.

Getting a good look at him, you nodded. “Or a pro wrestler had a baby with a model.”

”Or a handsome statue had a baby with a bodybuilder.”

”Or if the only man I’d ever find attractive got together with a prince, the pirate and the angel,” you continued. “Then they just—“

”Stop.” Peter put up a hand.

“Seriously, though.” You muttered. “He looks so familiar.”

“Okay. This is a real wake-up call for me.” Peter kept going, seemingly defeated.

As he was talking, Gamora slowly picked up the strangers arm, running her hand down each of his muscles. Honestly, you couldn’t blame her. They were some real amazing muscles.

”I’m gonna get a Bowllex. I’m gonna commit.” Pete planted his hands on his hips, continuing. “I’ll borrow Alex’s dumbbells.”

”Yeah, take ‘em anytime.” You said, not really paying attention. 

”You know you can’t eat dumbbells, right?” Rocket asked.

Gamora ran her hand around his bicep, entranced. “It’s like his muscles are made of Cotali metal fibers...” she said, voice quiet and in awe.

”Stop massaging his muscles.” Peter said, as if he were reprimanding her.

She dropped the arm, and it fell limp on the table.

You squinted at his face. “Really, though.” You said. “Doesnt he look familiar?”

”He can tell us all about himself,” Peter crossed his arms. “When he wakes up.” He turned to Mantis and nodded.

She nodded back, placing her hand once again on his forehead.

”Wake,” she whispered.

For a second, nothing happened. Just complete silence. No movement. Maybe he really was dead?

That thought diminished when he shot up, stumbling and chaotic, with such energy you thought he had received an electric jolt. He was yelling loudly, and breathing heavily. He stung off the table and stumbled five feet in front of him, still trying to catch his breath.

Then he turned. Then you felt like you really saw his face. You had to suppress a gasp.

He looked at you all with a judgemental eye. He asked, voice thick, “Who the hell are you guys?”

Your jaw dropped. “You’re... you’re Thor.”

He turned to look at you. “I know who I am,” he said. “But who are you?”

”We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, man.” Peter piped up. “And you are on our ship.”

* * *

 

Thor has sat down and had a discussion with you. Well, with all of you. But it was amazing. You were talking with Thor!! Admittedly, you hadn’t been a huge fan of him since you were a child, but still. It was Thor. You were talking with Thor, and sittin right next to him. It was amazing.

It _was_ amazing, until Thor brought up the reason why he was floating in space. It was because of Thanos.

Your stomach preformed every knot it knew. The children of Thanos were telling the truth. He really was out there. He really did have a plan. And he was putting it into action, if Thor was any indicator.

”Oh, my god...” you whispered as soon as Thor said his name. He stopped talking, and looked right at you. “Nebula.”

”Who?”

”I—“ you got a little choked up. “My girlfriend. She...” You swallowed. “She left. And we think it was to try and kill Thanos.”

You didn’t think. You knew. But the rest of the crew didn’t know that, so you had to play dumb.

Gamora put a hand on your shoulder. You sniffed, holding back tears. You weren’t about to cry in front of Thor.

”The entire time I knew Thanos,” She said. “He only had one goal.”

You looked up at her.

”To bring balance to the universe by wiping out half of all life.”

Thor took a sip of the soup that he was holding, listening intently to Gamora talk now.

”He used to kill people planet by planet,” she took her hand off of your shoulder. “Massacre by massacre.”

”Including my own.” Drax said, voice low.

You put your face in your hands. “Oh, god, Nebula...” your voice was strained.

“If he gets all six infinity stones, he can do it with a snap of his fingers like this.” She shaped her fingers to demonstrate. It almost made you jump.

“You seem to know a great deal about Thanos.” Thor stared down into his soup.

“Gamora,” Drax said. “Is the daughter of Thanos.”

Full stop. Oh, no.

Thor looked up slowly, staring Gamora dead in the face. She shut her eyes, blown away by Drax’s carelessness. 

“Your father,” He said, voice low. “Killed my brother.”

You stood up, ready to placate Thor if worse came to worst. He stood as well, walking over to Gamora, slowly, but with purpose. His blanket around his shoulders hung like a cape.

”Oh, boy.” Peter said quietly. “Stepfather, actually. And she hates him as much as you do.”

He stood in front of her, staring down at her face. You couldn’t make out what his aura was.

It took you by surprise when he clapped her on the shoulder. “Families can be tough.” He smiled.

You released a breath, relieved.

”Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister.” Thor continued, talking to Gamora as if they had been friends for a long time. “That he imprisoned in Hell. Then she returned home and stabbed me in the eye.”

Yikes.

Thor looked over to you. “And you said your girlfriend has gone to slay him?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

”Nebula and Gamora are sisters.” Drax chimed in.

Thor looked at Gamora, then at you. “Small galaxy.” He smiled.

Thor smiled at you! You smiled back.

”That’s life, isn’t it?” Thor looked back to Gamora. You noticed that he hadn’t taken his hand off of her shoulder, and Peter was getting a little antsy. “It goes round and round and... I feel your pain.”

Peter stepped between the two of them. “I feel your pain, as well.” He offered, mimicking Thor’s gentle tone. He turned to Thor now. “I mean, it’s not a competition, but I’ve been through a lot.”

At this point, Gamora just walked away, already seeing what Peter was doing. You sighed, putting a hand to your head. Geez, Quill.

“My father killed my mother—“ he tried to continue, but Thor just loudly slurped his soup, obviously catching on to what was happening. “And then I had to kill my father, that was hard.”

You looked down at Rocket, who had his arms crossed. He just shook his head at you, and you nodded, agreeing with the unspoken statement.

“Peter,” you sighed. “You don’t have to do this.”

”Probably even harder than having to kill a sister.”

”Quill. Stop.”

“Plus,” Peter added. “I came out with both my eyes, so...”

You groaned. “And my parents disowned me when I was 14 because I was gay, and didn’t let me contact my siblings. This isn’t a competition, Quill.”

Peter raised his eyebrows at you. “Now it feels like you’re bragging.”

Realizing what Peter just said, he sucked in air through his teeth. Gamora shot him a look, and Thor walked over to you now, and put a hand on your shoulder. “I am so sorry.”

”Yeah, well.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It was six years ago. I’m alright.”

”But your girlfriend has left you on a dangerous mission. That must have taken a toll on you. You,” He said, voice deep. “Are very strong.”

Your face burned, and you looked away, still nervously tucking away your hair. Just because you weren’t attracted to men didn’t mean you couldn’t appreciate a good looking one. Plus— it was _Thor_. “Yeah,” you said again, at a loss for words. “Well.”

Peter now outwardly inserted himself into the conversation. “Okay, lightning-man.” He said aggressively. “She’s gay. Didn’t you hear her?”

You were about to stick up for Thor, trying to tell Peter that he was just being nice, but Thor responded before you could. “I need a hammer, not a spoon...” He lifted up his soup spoon as if to illustrate the point. he walked off before you could say anything else.

”What?” Peter said to you under his breath.

He walked over to the escape pod— there were multiple on the ship. It was the second one, since Nebula had taken the first. Thor began to tap at the screen. “How do you activate this pod? A four digit code, maybe?” He continued tapping, then mumbled “maybe a birthdate...”

“Uh,” Rocket interjected. “What’re you doing?”

”Taking your pod.” Thor said bluntly.

Peter cleared his throat, loud and hard, and said with absolute gusto; “No, you’re not.”

You put your hands over your mouth. He was mimicking Thor.

“You will not,” he continued. “Be taking our pod today, sir.”

“Ah, Quill.” Rocket inquired. “Are you making your voice deeper?”

”Do you even need to ask?” You looked down at the raccoon.

“...No.” Quill replied.

”You are.” Drax countered. “You’re imitating the god-man. It’s weird.”

“No, I’m not.” He was.

Mantis gasped and pointed at him. “He just did it again!”

”This is my voice!”

”Peter,” You said. “Please stop trying to compensate. You have nothing to compensate for.”

Rocket laughed at that.

Thor stepped down from the platform to look Peter dead in the eye. It caused the entire ship to shake. The two men glared at each other, none breaking eye contact. You didn’t need aura-reading powers to see the animosity.

“Are you mocking me?” Thor’s voice was low.

”Are you mocking me?” Peter repeated. God, he was literally five years old.

”Stop it. You did it again.”

Peter turned to look at the group with a smug look on his face. “He’s trying to copy me.”

”I need you to stop that.”

”Enough!” Gamora exclaimed, irritated.

”...he was doing it first.” Apparently Thor was also suceptible to childish threats.

“We need to stop Thanos.” She said, serious. “Which means we need to find out where he’s going next.”

”Knowhere.” Thor walked past Gamora.

”He must be going somewhere.” Mantis said.

”No— no. Knowhere?” Peter looked at the group. “It’s a place. We’ve been there. It sucks.”

”It does suck pretty hard.” You agreed.

Thor began raiding the communal fridge— just grabbing at packets of food with no discretion.

”Hey, that’s our food.” Peter reprimanded him.

”Not anymore,” the god muttered.

“Thor,” Gamora said. “Why would he go to Knowhere?”

“Because for years,” he tucked the food into his clothes. Apparently his outfit had a lot of pockets. “The Reality stone has been safely stored there with a man called the Collector.”

”If it’s with the Collector, then it’s not safe.” Peter put his hands on his hips. “Only an idiot would give this man a stone.”

”Or a genius.”

“How do you know he’s not going for one of the other stones?” Gamora asked harshly.

“There are six stones out there.” Thor stood up straight, apparently done burglaring you of your food. “Thanos already has the Power stone, because he stole it last week when he decimated Xandar.”

Peer’s eyes widened. You looked at him in shock, then back to Thor.

“He stole the Space stone from me,” he continued. “When he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people.” He looked to Quill as if to make a point.

“The Time and Mind stones are safe on Earth, with the Avengers.”

You inhaled sharply. The Avengers. Did Thor not know what had happened with the Avengers?

You were on Earth shortly after the ‘Civil War’ took place, rendering many of your heroes imprisoned, and the Avengers totaled like a truck in a crash. Apparently, Thor didn’t get the memo on what had happened.

He looked to you as you inhaled tensely. “What is it?”

”The Avengers...” you said, voice tight. “Aren’t really in the greatest shape right now.”

”How do you know?”

”I left Earth about six months ago to be here.” You held your shoulders as if hugging yourself. “And... uhm... I’m not sure I can accurately tell you what happened.”

”What do you mean?”

”I only know what the news told us, and I have a feeling it’s not all right. All I can difinitively say is... the Avengers don’t really have the manpower that they used to.”

Thor groaned, shaking his head and looking away.

”Sorry, who are the Avengers?” Peter asked.

”Earth’s mightiest heroes.” Thor rubbed his face. “But now, I’m not so sure.”

”Like Kevin Bacon?” Mantis piped up.

”Apparently, a lot has changed since I was gone. Maybe he is an Avenger.”

”You don’t know about the Avengers?” You turned to Peter. “You met Tony Stark.”

”So?” Peter shrugged.

”He’s like... their leader?”

”I had no idea.”

”Wait.” You stopped him. “You do... know... about Tony Stark. Right?”

Peter shrugged again. “Only about that time I met him. When I came to pick you up. And I had a video call with him, but that lasted two minutes, so...”

You rubbed your temples. “Lots of things make a lot more sense now. Okay.”

”As for the Soul stone,” Thor got back on track. “Well, no one has ever seen that. No one even knows where it is.”

You felt a twinge nearby. And reading the auras of the room, you realized who it was from. Gamora. That statement made her tense, and she began to feel real fear. You kept an eye on her.

“Therefore, Thanos can’t get it.” He concluded. “Therefore, He is going to Knowhere. Hence, he will be getting the Reality stone. You’re welcome.”

Gamora turned. “Then we have to get to Knowhere now.”

”Wrong.” Thor interjected. “Where we have to go is Nidavelier.”

You got confused for a second. You didn’t recognize that name. Or that word, for that matter. 

”That’s a made-up word.” Drax said.

”All words are made up.” He responded offhandedly.

“Nidavelier is real?” Rocket asked, jumping up onto the table to be a little taller. “Seriously? That place is a legend. They make the most powerful, horrific weapons to ever torment the universe.” He started to laugh as he spoke. “I would very much like to go there, please.”

“The rabbit is correct,” Thor smiled. “And clearly the smartest among you.

You laughed, not even caring that Thor called you dumb second-hand.

”Rabbit?” Rocket raised a brow.

“Only Eitri the Dwarf can make me the weapon I need.” He looked down at the raccoon— or as he thought, rabbit. “I assume you’re the captain, sir?”

”You’re very perceptive.” Rocket crossed his arms.

“You seem like a noble leader. Will you join me on my quest to Nidavelier?”

”Let me ask the captain.” Rocket tapped his chin. “Oh, wait! That’s me! Yeah, I’ll go.”

”Wonderful.” Thor smiled.

Rocket hopped off the table, excited. Peter mumbled “except for that I’m the captain...”

”Quiet.” Rocket barked.

”And that’s my backpack.” Peter pointed at the pack slung over Thor’s shoulder.

”So?”

You pat Quill on the shoulder again. “Real rough, buddy.”

”Hey, look!” Peter exclaimed. “This is my ship. And I’m not going to—“ he seemed to lose mojo, not knowing what he would say next. He stuttered. “Wh— what kind of a weapon are we talking here, anyway?”

“The Thanos-killing kind.” The god replied. Apt enough.

Peter opened his mouth, the closed it. He gestured to everyone else. “Don’t you think we should all have a weapon like that?”

“No. You simply lack the strength to wield them.” He said, as Rocket opened the hatch door. “Your bodies would crumble as your minds descended into madness.”

”Is it weird that I want to do it even more now?” Rocket grinned.

”A little, Yeah.”

”If we don’t go to Knowhere,” Gamora said, her voice hard as rocks. “And Thanos retrieves another stone he’ll be too powerful to stop.”

”He already is.” Thor replied, blunt.

“I got it figured out.” Rocket directed the attention to him. “We got two ship, and a large assortment of morons. So me and Groot will go with the pirate-angel here, and the morons will go to Knowhere to try and stop Thanos.”

Gamora turned away from him, placing her hands on her hips, trying to contain her anger. You didn’t blame her. You crossed your arms as well.

”Cool?” Rocket said. “Cool.”

”So Cool.” Thor smiled.

”For the record,” Peter said as Thor ducked into the pod. He lowered his voice so only Rocket could hear. “I know you’re only going because that’s where Thanos isn’t.”

“Y’know, you really shouldn’t talk that way to your captain, Quill.” Rocket smirked.

As he walked backwards into the pod, Rocket said “C’mon, Groot. And put that game down. It’ll rot your brain.”

”Have fun, Groot.” You said.

He responded with a dismissive “I am Groot.”

“I bid you farewell and good luck, morons.” Thor said as the others got buckled in.

The others didn’t really seem pleased by that, but you knew Thor didn’t mean any harm by it. It was just how Asgardians operated. You waved at him. “Great to meet you, Thor.”

He waved back. “Bye.”

The hatch closed, and before you knew it, the pod dropped out.

You sighed, turning around and leaning back against the wall. You hoped so badly that this would go alright.


	21. Meet the Parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had never met a girlfriend’s parent before. This wasn’t your best first experience.

The flight to Knowhere was a long one. From where you had picked up Thor, it was a ways away.

You didn’t have anything to do. You could wait. You could wait, and while waiting, you thought.

Thinking was what you did most of the time, anyway. You thought about other people more than you thought about yourself, mostly. You could admit it. 

Sitting in the hull of the ship, but not in a seat, you thought. Right at the end of the isle between the chairs, you sat, with your legs hanging down into the cockpit below. They swung back and forth in a lazy motion, limp. You stared out into space again.

When the ship was doing a jump, the outside would warp, and change different colors. It was astounding to watch, but would give you a headache if you stared to long. You weren’t entirely accustomed to it yet, even thought it was beautiful to watch.

Distracting yourself from the flashing lights, you turned back to your thoughts.

Back to Thanos.

This was it, wasn’t it? Meeting Thanos for the first time. You couldn’t imagine. You only heard the stories about him, from what Nebula and Gamora told you, and that was enough for you to want you to be far, far away from him at all times. As much as you could, at least.

But now, you were finally crossing paths with the Mad Titan himself. You shuddered.

You could stay back on the ship. You could. There was nothing preventing you from just asking the others, or saying you weren’t sure if you wanted to do this. There was no shame in that.

...yes, there was. You had to do this. 

There was no watch you could turn away from this. Absolutely not. You were a Guardian of the Galaxy, and that meant throwing yourself in the path of danger if needed. If stepping up to Thanos was the way to save the galaxy, you would do it.

The galaxy paled in comparison when you thought about Nebula. You could save her, too.

The question was if she even needed to be saved. You had no idea where she was as of now. Or if she even caught up to Thanos at this point. Maybe she did. Maybe, right as you were staring out into space, rocketing at intergalactic speeds, she had just plunged her sword into her father’s stomach, merciless. Maybe, right now, she was looking up at the sky, her foot on her fresh kill.

Maybe she was thinking about you, too.

Fury and fear bounced around inside you. It was like your feelings were thrashing against one another. It didn’t feel great. You pulled your legs up to the chest and held them close to you, trying to steady your breathing.

You were going. You had to go. Now all you had to decide is what suit you would wear when you rained Judgement Day on him.

The burn on your stomach still itched sometimes. 

There was a part of you that was more vengeful than you would like it to be. You held grudges— of course, you never acted on them. But you weren’t always ‘turn the other cheek’. You remembered. And you would never forget Nebula leaving to fight Thanos.

If he hurt her, a less savory part of you wanted to enact revenge.

You were fully scared, as you should have been. But there was a part of you that couldn’t wait to say to him “I am Pacify. You have abused your children, killed millions, and caused my girlfriend indeterminate amounts of grief. If this is your idea of forgiveness— then prepare to be forgiven.”

You wouldn’t say that exact thing, or course. You weren’t nearly strong-willed enough to choke that line out in the middle of battle.

”Hi, Alex.” Mantis said from behind you. 

You turned and saw her, standing with her hands folded in front of her, like always. You forced a smile. “Hey, Mantis.” Out of your thoughts now, you cleared your throat. “What’s up?”

”We shall land soon.” She said, walking up towards you. “Are you ready?”

You looked back out the window, and sighed. “Nope.” You stood up anyway.

”That is too bad.” Mantis said.

”Yup. Them’s the breaks...” You exhaled. “I’m gonna go get a suit. See you then.”

Mantis waved, and you waved back.

You walked up into the main hub of the ship, when rounding a corner, you saw Gamora, sitting and staring out into space. You were about to say hi to her when you stopped in your tracks. The aura around her was... incredibly tense. It was thick, and dense, as if you were staring into murky water. And you had a feeling of dread, as if something was about to swim up, and eat you alive.

You instinctively ducked behind the corner again, completely still. You couldn’t interrupt whatever was going on.

This tense feeling was interrupted by a sharp noise— like a knife coming out of a sheath. It made you jump with how abrupt and loud it was.

You heard footsteps. “Gamora.” It was Peter’s voice. “Do you know if these grenades are the blow-off-your-junk kind, or the gas kind?”

It was hard to suppress the sigh that almost came out of you. Quill was horrendous at reading situations.

“Because I was thinking of hanging a few on my belt right here,“ you heard him continue to ramble. “And I don’t want to if they’re—“

”I need to ask a favor.” Gamora replied.

Quiet.

“Yeah, sure.” Peter agreed after the pause.

”One way or another,” she continued. “The path that we’re on leads to Thanos.”

”Which is what the grenades are for.” You could hear the sound of Peter tossing one up and down in his hands.

Silence again. You guessed Gamora was glaring at Peter.

”Sorry,” You heard Peter mumble. “What’s the... What’s the favor?”

The aura got denser. Murkier. It was as if you were looking into snow, or fog so thick you couldn’t see your feet if you looked down. You forced a swallow. Gamora had something on her mind. Something incredibly tense, and most likely something dangerous.

”If things go wrong,” her voice was so gentle, you had to strain your ears to hear it. “If Thanos gets me...”

Silence again. You could only imagine their expressions.

”I want you to promise me... you’ll kill me.”

Oh, no. This was not good. If Gamora, the most dangerous woman in the galaxy, was saying that she would rather be killed than captured, you were done for.

Your thoughts could barely catch up with you. Silence again as you tried to catch your breath.

“What?” Peter asked, with genuine confusion in his voice.

”I know something he doesn’t.” Gamora whispered. “And if he finds out, the entire universe will be at risk.”

“What do you know?” Peter asked cautiously.

”If I told you,” She said flatly. “You’ll know too.”

“If it’s so important,” he said. His voice was low. “Don’t you think I should know?”

You could hardly hear what she said— the volume of her voice was so low. “Only if you want to die.” 

“Why does someone always have to die in this scenario?”

“Just...” she whispered. “Trust me. And possibly kill me.”

This was hard. This was hard for her to ask, This was hard for you to listen to. It was hard to even be around this as it was happening. It broke your heart to even imagine what was going on in their heads right now.

“I mean,” Peter said. “I’d like to. I really would. But—“

Gamora sighed, and Peter stopped talking, for whatever reason.

”Swear to me.” She whispered. “Swear to me on your mother.”

You hadn’t heard a lot about Peter’s mom. He hadn’t talked about her a lot, but even without hearing anything from anyone else, you could infer what had happened to her. Knowing what you knew about Ego now, and how his mother died, you realized the importance that she held in Peter’s early childhood.

He valued and loved her so much. This was incredibly serious— if promising to kill your loved one could get any more serious.

You didn’t hear anything. You could hardly hear anything at all, even straining your ears as hard as you possibly could. But, listening closer, you only barely heard his answer.

”Okay,” he said, voice lighter than a feather. “Okay.”

Silence again. He had just promised her that he would kill her if things went bad.

You put your hands over your mouth, and prayed that this would not happen.

Straining your ears again, you heard nothing else. The conversation was over. The deal was done. You released a breath, thinking that now would be an okay time to walk in.

As you walked out, you were embarrassed to find that the two of them were kissing. As childish as it was, you wanted to leave immediately. Before you could, you heard a crunch on your right. You came out from behind the motors that came out of the walls, and on the opposite end of the room was Drax, eating a packet of zarg-nuts, looking at the two intently. When did he get here?

The two of them broke their kiss to see the two of you just standing there, watching them.

“Dude,” Peter said, breaking the silence. “How long have you two been standing there?”

”An hour.” Drax responded.

”An hour?”

”Are you serious?” Gamora asked.

Peter turned to you. “How about you, have you been standing there for two hours?”

You put up your hands defensively. “Hey, I just got here!” You lied. “I was going to ask when we were landing. Sorry to walk in on your make out session.”

The two of them looked at Drax now, expecting the same confession out of him.

”I don’t know what’s going on with him.” You pointed at Drax.

“I have mastered the power of standing so incredibly still,” Drax’s voice was gravelly and muffled, like he wasn’t using his lips to speak. “That I become invisible to the eye. Watch.”

He remained still for a few seconds, then slowly lifted a hand holding a nut to his mouth.

”You’re eating a Zarg-nut.” Peter said.

”But my movement,” he said even quieter. “Is so incredibly slow... that it is imperceptible.”

Peter and Gamora looked at one another, then you, then shook their heads. You shook your head as well.

”No.” You said.

“I’m sure I’m invisible.”

”Hi, Drax.” Mantis walked into the room now, smiling at him.

He stood there for a moment, then stormed off. “Dammit.”

* * *

You finally were flying into Knowhere, but you weren’t looking out your window this time. You didn’t want to. You were instead holed up in your room, still deciding over which suit you wanted to use.

Even though you had decided on wearing your original, Pacify, you were still unsure. What about the Peacepounder? After all, Thanos was about brute strength. Maybe you could... intimidate him?

With your rinky-dink costume? Yeah. Right.

Maybe Edgewise would be a better choice. The pikes on the arms made you feel a little more protected, at least. Even if you couldn’t use them. Besides, the suit was made for speed.

So you could run away faster. Like a coward.

You shook your head. How about... the suit you used on the jungle planet?

The one that caved and dented so badly it injured you. Smart to face off the Mad Titan wearing a death trap.

You kicked your dresser, suddenly angry. Why couldn’t you just... do this? What inside of you was so scared and cowardly that you couldn’t even try to avenge Nebula?

Gamora was facing Thanos. The very person who had abused her all of her life. She knew his dangers more than anyone else in the galaxy, and she was facing him head-on, with no fear.

Actually, you corrected yourself. You recalled her earlier conversation with Peter. A little bit of fear.

You sighed, and clicked on Pacify. It was now or never.

Joining everyone else, you sat down in a pilot’s chair in the hull. You kept your eyes trained on the outside, which was almost completely empty of all life.

”This place looks deserted.” Peter remarked.

”I’m reading movement on the third quadrant.” Drax tapped at his screen.”

”Yup, I’m getting that too.”

You noticed now that your leg was bouncing, hard. You were so full of nervous energy. Peter turned to look at you.

”You gonna be alright?” He asked.

”Yeah, well,” you breathed. “We’ll see.”

He turned back forward. “Let’s put down right here.”

The ship landed, the docking bay opened, and it was time. You took a deep breath, and exited the ship.

It was so odd, being here again— the last time you were here was for drinks, the night you joined the Guardians. And this wasn’t exactly the most nostalgic way to revisit those memories.

Peter was right. The place was entirely abandoned. 

Eventually, after a few minutes of nervous walking, you reached the Collector’s domain. It was huge, and full of many items— but, at large, the place was completely wrecked. You shuddered, keeping low to the ground along with everyone else.

”I don’t have it,” an unfamiliar voice said. It was tense.

Peter made a signal that meant ‘move forward’. You were the only other person who was listening to Peter’s signals— Drax was still standing up straight, Gamora just acted of her own accord, and Mantis didn’t seem to know what to do.

As the team crept forward, you heard another voice. Rumbling, and deep.

“Everyone in the galaxy,” it said. “Knows you would sell your own brother, if you thought it would add the slightest trinket into your pathetic collection.”

”Is that him?” You whispered to Gamora.

She nodded, grim.

Peter held up a fiat, signaling the others to stop. They didn’t. Drax and Gamora walked by without a care, and Mantis slowly moved past him, crouched down.

You followed the others, giving Peter an apologetic look. He couldn’t see it— your helmet was still on.

Gamora slid up behind a pillar. You followed her lead, feeling the safest when you were by her.

”I know you have the Reality stone, Tivan.” Thanos said.

And peering around the pillar, you could see him now. He was gigantic, and purple. He had huge hands, and a smug, disgusting face. He had a golden gauntlet on his left hand. Seeing him now made you want to vomit.

You suddenly felt an incomprehensible anger well up inside of you, absolutely furious now that you had seen the Mad Titan. It was incredible, the heat in your chest, how your vision seemed to cloud up. All your fear melted away, and while part of you was happy about this newfound motivator, you were afraid that you may lose control.

But all you could really focus on was that Nebula went to kill Thanos, but he was still alive.

You suppressed this anger, staying back, making sure not to get in Thanos’ sights.

”Giving it to me will spare you a great deal of suffering.” The Mad Titan meandered forward slowly, his back towards you. You realized now that there was a man on the ground in front of him— the Collector. Thanos placed his boot on his chest, and the man began sputtering, and whining in pain.

You were staring intently at those scene unfold. Still.

”I told you,” he hissed. “I sold it.” He desperately placed his hands on his heart and wheezed “why would I lie?”

”I imagine it’s like breathing for you.” Thanos responded.

”Like suicide.”

Thanos smiled. It was ugly, and so full of malice. “You do understand.”

Gamora was also staring intently, and you could feel that tense, muddled, murky aura coming off of her again. Your own rage faded in the wake of hers, and similar to when Nebula felt that huge bout of pride, you were made almost dizzy. Suddenly, you now felt sick.

This feeling fusing with your own made a toxic combination of feelings that made you want to just sleep. It was exhausting. But you weren’t going to back out now, no matter how tired and scared you were.

You had come this far.

“Not even you would surrender something so precious.” Thanos continued.

”I didn’t know what it was,” the Collector replied, desperate.

“Then you’re more of a fool than I took you for.” Thanos looked up.

”It’s him.” Drax whispered. 

“Last chance, charlatan.” Thanos put more pressure on the man’s chest. “Where’s the stone?”

”Today,” Drax hissed. “He pays for the deaths of my wife and daughter.”

”Drax, Drax!” Peter tried to get his attention.

This was bad. This could escalate very badly. You tried to get Drax’s attention, and sent him all the calming auras you could— but it did nothing. Your powers could only influence, not change emotions. And Drax’s aura mixed with Gamora’s almost knocked you to the floor.

”Drax,” You hissed. “Stop.”

“Drax, wait!” Peter whispered louder.

He slowly slid the knife out of the sheath on his thigh, and your faintness, fury, and panic was almost too much to bear. You could hardly keep yourself standing.

“Not yet, not yet, not yet—“ Peter kept saying.

Drax didn’t listen. He just looked Peter dead in the eye, then walked forward. The rest of you moved forward as well, at a more hurried pace to keep up with Drax’s stride.

”Help,” Peter hissed at you.

”I tried,” you hissed back. “His anger is too much. I could tranq him, but that wouldn’t really help.”

Peter just made a face and hurriedly rushed in front of Drax, placing his hands on his chest. “Drax, Drax.” He kept trying to calm him. “Drax, listen to me.”

He tried to push past Peter, but couldn’t without being loud. So he stopped, if only for a moment.

”He doesn’t have the stone yet. If we get it, we can stop him. We have to get the stone first.” Peter explained, seeing that Drax was calmer than before. On the surface, yes— but his aura was still just as strong as before.

”No.” Drax breathed.

You held your breath. Looks like he wasn’t calm after all.

”For Ovette,” He said. “For Camaria.”

Drax began to rush forward again, when Mantis put a hand on his head and whispered ‘sleep’.

And then he got still. Completely frozen, completely rigid. He was asleep, and he hit the ground with a loud crash.

You cursed under your breath, panicked. Everyone ducked down to the floor. You stared at your hands, mumbling afraid, incoherent nonsense.

You did see what was happening, because you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the floor. All you heard was a strangled gasp, and the sound of someone being thrown— Thanos had just thrown the Collector. You heard thundering footsteps, now, getting louder and louder.

You cursed again.

Gamora, still right next to you, was practically suffocating you in her feelings. It was a deafening thing to be in, an absolute maelstrom if every possible emotion that you could conceive. You felt like you might pass out, these feelings combined with your own rage and panic.

”Okay,” Peter hissed. “Gamora, Mantis, you go _right_. Alex, you—“

Gamora has already run forward, decidedly not going right.

”The other right.” Peter mumbled.

You were able to look up now, and watched Gamora jump onto a canister of some kind, and leap, screaming, towards her father.

You felt like you could finally breathe again, now that you weren’t drowning in her aura, and your own fury returned.

She slashed the sword mercilessly, once missing his head, then nearly striking his chest. Thanos had no emotional reaction, no facial expression, and you didn’t pick up any of his aura. Maybe he was too far away.

Gamora swing her sword again, and Thanos caught it deftly in his hand.

He held it so tight, and put so much pressure on it, that the sword shattered in his hand. But before you could react, she already had another one plunged in his stomach.

The blade found its place in his chest with a sickening squish, and Thanos groaned in pain. As quickly as that one was inserted, Gamora clicked open a knife. It was like a pocketknife with a blade on either end, and she gave it a home in Thanos’ heart. He cried out in pain again, but his voice fell out halfway through.

You felt like you might vomit.

She pulled back and stood in a battle stance, still ready to defend herself if need be. She didn’t need to. Thanos grabbed the knife with his left hand, the one with the proud gold gauntlet on it. It moved the slightest inch, and he heaved another pained noise from him.

Gamora was breathing heavily. Thanos didn’t seem to be breathing at all.

“Why?” He sighed.

He fell to his knees with a loud clatter, his armor making quick contact with the ground. He was suffering.

 _Good_ , a vengeful, scary part of you thought. 

He tried to get up, but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. He instead fell, on his back, still groaning.

Gamora was crying. Why was she crying?

”Why you...” Thanos groaned. “Daughter?”

She began to sob now, her teeth grit tight and her face screwed up. You had never seen her cry this hard— or at all, for that matter. She dropped her stance. Her sword fell to the ground.

She crouched down, placing her face in her hands as the last breaths of Thanos left his cold body. The only sounds were Gamora’s sobs, and Thanos’ body falling limp to the ground.

You looked behind Gamora, and noticed that the Collector was imprisoned in a glass case behind her. He stared at her with awe.

Drax and Peter stood up, slowly. “That was quick.” Peter remarked.

The Collector began to clap, slowly at first, but descended into a kind of brutal, perverse applause. “Magnificent!” He screamed through cupped hands. “Magnificent! Magnificent!”

You stood from your place on the ground. Slowly, You walked over to Gamora, and laid a hand on her back.

She was still sobbing, but trying to hold back the tears. You thought that she would swat away your hand, but she didn’t. Her aura was still powerful— but she, herself, was stronger.

”You did it.” You whispered.

She did not respond.

But another voice did.

_”Is that sadness I sense in you, daughter?”_

It was Thanos’ godforsaken voice.

The two of you looked down you Thanos’ corpse with wide eyes, and as soon as you heard his voice again, you shot up. Whipping your head around, you tried to find where the voice was coming from. It certainly wasn’t coming from the newly-dead Thanos.

Gamora continued to stare at her father’s body.

” _In my heart,_ ” he said. “ _I knew you still cared.”_

His corpse vanished into red ashes. You gasped, then stared, wide eyed and afraid as the scenery around you began to disappear in red ash, as well. The clean, polished surfaces of the Collector’s place of work faded away into burning fires and destroyed items. It was as if a curtain was being lifted. Even the Collector himself, mockingly waving goodbye, disappeared into the ash, leaving an empty glass case behind.

“ _But no one ever knows for sure.”_

Gamora’s breathing got heavy. You didn’t know whether to comfort her or run back to safety.

The flames around you roared. Your face flushed red with heat.

”Reality is often disappointing.” Thanos remarked. You turned, now identifying where his voice was coming from. Right beside Gamora, those red ages appeared again, now forming something rather than destroying. It was the real Thanos, who now had a red stone in his gauntlet. “That is, it was.”

You stood a ways away from him, but he hadn’t seemed to notice you.

Gamora had decomposed herself, and even from far away, you could see that she was staring at him, unflinching.

”Now,” Thanos curled his fingers into a fist. He observed the glowing red stone. “Reality can be whatever I want.”

”You knew I would come.” His daughter said.

“I counted on it.” He looked down at her now. “There is something we must discuss, little one.”

Gamora rocketed downwards, grabbing her sword and reaching to thrust it once again into Thanos’ body. But she was too slow. Quicker, he grabbed her by the neck and held her there, unable to move to her screams of protest.

Another scream rang out. Drax’s voice. He yelled Thanos’ name in a battle cry, running forward with all his might, blades drawn.

Thanos clenched his fist, and Drax crumbled.

As in, he literally broke apart into even, geometric pieces, as if his body were made of stone. It wasn’t gory, but you still felt incredibly sickened and afraid.

Thanos really did have Reality in the palm of his hand.

You saw Mantis put her hands to her mouth, and no sooner had she done that, Thanos clenched his fist again. Mantis sprung forward as if she were made of curled strings of paper, or cloth, and she fell limp to the ground.

Peter finally revealed himself, already armed with his blasters. “Let her go, Grimmace.”

Thanos just smirked, his fist still clenched. 

“Peter,” Gamora breathed.

“I told you to go right.” Peter didn’t tear his eyes away from Thanos.

“Now?” She was crying. “Really?”

”You let her go!” Peter exclaimed.

”Ah,” Thanos smiled again. Disgusting. “The boyfriend.”

”Actually,” Peter said through gritted teeth. “I think of myself as a Titan-killing, long-term bootycall. Let her go.”

You had to do something. You had no weapon to brandish, nothing to make you seem threatening. But you couldn’t just stand in the back and act like nothing was happening.

Before you knew what to do, you yelled. “Hey! Grape juice!”

Thanos turned his head, ever so slightly. 

“You have two of us to deal with,” you breathed. “Let her go, or things get uglier than you.”

You were terrified, and you had no idea where any of this was coming from.

”And who is this?” Thanos asked in his low tone.

You swallowed. “Looks like Nebula hasn’t gotten to you yet.” You said, voice getting louder. “Because you don’t know who I am, and you aren’t dead in the ground yet.”

”Alex—“ Gamora said, voice tight.

”I am Pacify.” You said, voice hard. “And you—“

Thanos didn’t listen. “Nebula, you say?”

”I’m her girlfriend,” you said, voice terse. You knew that he wouldn’t let you say it all, but you were still disappointed. “And if you’re a homophobe, save it. That’s not my biggest concern right now.”

“You have bad taste.” Thanos said, looking down at you.

”And you’re a murderer, but hey, we all have our flaws. Let her go.”

”You let her go,” Peter repeated. “Or I’ll blow that nutsack of a chin right off of your face.”

”Peter.” Gamora’s voice was thick. “Not him.”

Peter’s face immediately fell, his look of anger replaced with fear and sadness.

There was silence, and no sound other than the crackling, indifferent fire, and her breathing.

”Gamora.” You whispered.

”He promised,” she said to you weakly, then she looked back at her love. “You promised.”

He lowered his gun, and pointed it at her face. She squeezed her eyes shut.

”No,” you whispered. “No.”

”Oh, daughter.” Thanos said, voice low. “You expect too much from him.

He looked down to Peter, and cocked his head. “She’s asked, hasn’t she?” And, all of a sudden, his voice fell soft. “Do it.”

Peter didn’t do anything, still staring intensely at Gamora.

Thanos grunted, then shoved her closer. She screamed. “Do it!”

”Hey, Hey!” You exclaimed, putting up a hand. “Stop it. Stop this.”

”She asked him.” Thanos smiled at you. “He should fulfill his promise, don’t you think?”

You shook your head, every other part of your body shaky as well. “Can’t we just— can’t we just talk about this?”

”Begging, I see.” He grinned. “Pathetic. And hiding even your face behind that armor. You were truly made for Nebula.”

”I think,” you breathed. “That we just need,” you raised your hand. “A time-out.”

* * *

 

You opened your eyes, and you saw Thanos standing exactly as he was before. Only instead of holding Gamora, he had his fist clamped around dead air.

You exhaled. And then you laughed.

It was a sick, perverse laughter. You were here. You had the Mad Titan trapped in your little pocket dimension. He was passed out on the mortal plane.

You had saved Gamora. You got your revenge.

”Nice of you to be here.” You laughed. “Welcome!”

He looked around ever so slightly, like he just noticed that the scenery changed. He clenched his fist, and was shocked to see his precious gauntlet wasn’t on his hand.

You laughed again, louder this time. “Sorry!” You said through a particularly loud bout. “No weapons allowed! No suits, either, so it seems we’re even.”

He reached out to grab you, but his hand passed through you. This just made you laugh harder.

”This is my turf, buddy!” You exclaimed. “And you’ve gotta play by my rules.”

Thanos pulled his hand back.

“Well, you big purple eyesore.” You grinned. “I hope you had your fun.”

”You are an impudent one.” 

“How kind. Pathetic and impudent!” You crossed your arms and rocked on your heels. “What a treat. What a treat for you to be here, Thanos... should I call you Mr. Titan?” 

He didn’t respond. You laughed again.

”Sorry to rain on your universe-destroying parade,” you said. “But it looks like you might be done for.”

Thanos looked down on his left hand, staring at his naked palm.

”Oof. Wow.” You smiled to yourself, calming down a little bit. “I hope you like space jail. Or death, probably. Yeah. You’re going straight to hell.”

”It’s odd,” he said to his hand. “That Nebula didn’t say anything about you when she paid me a visit.”

Your stomach dropped, and the laughing stopped. “Nebula.” You repeated.

”She attempted to assassinate me a few months ago.” He looked back down at you, apparently taking pleasure in your shock. “And, well, I’m surprised she found anyone who could tolerate her. I’m offended she didn’t think to introduce me.”

”Where is she,” you barked. “Where is she?”

”She’s safe.” He was lying. You knew it. The fury was back. “But what kind of father would I be if I didn’t make the effort to get to know my daughter’s girlfriend?”

”They’ve got you, by now.” You breathed. “Gamora and Peter have probably stabbed you a thousand times over by now.”

Thanos laughed. “You really were made for Nebula.”

”Shut the hell up,” your breathing became heavy. “Shut the hell up, you purple bitch, and tell me where my girlfriend is.”

”See how little it took to make you humble?” Thanos said in a mocking gentle tone. “You should be grateful for the family you have.”

”You’re one to talk, you disgusting —“

”Stop worrying about Nebula.” Thanos interrupted you. “She is a disappointment, and not worth your time. I’m sure someone like you has better things to do than—“

You swing your fist at him. You had never punched anybody before, but you swung your fist with the intent of trying to knock him out. The fear was gone, replaced only with the desire to get Thanos. All your morals and ideals from the past twenty years of your life melted away as you tried to punch this man in the stomach.

Your hand passed through him.

It was his turn to laugh, now.

”You’re a monster,” you began to cry. “You make me want to die.”

”Once I am done,” Thanos smiled at you. “Your odds are 50/50.”

”You—“ you choked out, your throat closing up. “You won’t get away. I won’t let you.”

Thanos hesitated for a moment. “I don’t need your permission.”

”If you hurt Nebula,” you attempted one last time. “I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you.”

”I’ll tell her you said hello.”

He clenched his fist, and you saw a glint of gold form around his hand. 

You wailed, and pressed the heels of your hands against your face. The crackling of fire was what made you open them again.

You heard Thanos’ voice again, and he said one thing: “I like him.” And, in a vortex of blue smoke, he was gone.

Thanos was gone. You were back in the Collector’s place. You had never gone to your pocket dimension, you realized, as you caught a little bit of white fading from the ground in red ash.

He has tricked you. You actually believed that you could best someone with a Reality stone. Thanos, no less.

”Damn it!” You shrieked, slamming your hands on the ground. Tears slipped down your face and mixed with the ash. You looked over your shoulder, and saw Peter standing there. You couldn’t see his face.

“What happened?” You roared. “What happened while I was out?”

No one answers. You heard the moans of Drax, who was beginning to reform from his cubic deformation. Mantis was also beginning to take shape, the slips and ribbons of her body curling back into an approximate form.

Peter knelt to the ground, and picked up Gamora’s sword. He was quiet.

Gamora. Where was Gamora?

”What happened?” You repeated. Your voice got weaker. “What happened?”


	22. Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You receive twenty-three important secret encoded messages.

_I’m back, back in the New York Groove. I’m back, back in the New York Groove. I’m back, back in the New York Groove._

You were pacing. You had been pacing inside of the ship for close to five hours now. Pacing, for five hours, with a hand on your head and New York Groove playing loudly in the background.

Quill had lost it. He was torn up beyond belief, and he was beyond your powers of emotional repair. His wound was so fresh, you trying to console him would be like hurting him even deeper. Similar to the first few days of Nebula’s departure, you just wanted to be alone. So you left Peter alone.

The problem was, he wouldn’t stop playing this music. His only explanation was quiet, and short lived, as he stared out in front of him and said that he needed to ‘get his groove back.’ You weren’t one to question his coping methods, so you let him.

But it had been five hours. Five hours of your pacing in this stationary ship, listening to a song over and over and over again. Peter was still sitting in his pilots seat, staring into the flames outside.

Thinking of a plan wasn’t helped by the repeating lyrics and twangy music. It just made you angrier.

Thanos had taken Gamora, right from under your nose. And you wer proud enough to think, just for a moment, that you had the satisfaction gf beating him. Now he had both Gamora and Nebula.

You were pissed.

Standing next to the stereo didn’t really help, but it was the only wide-open space in the ship where you could really pace. You considered smashing Peter’s Zune, but then he would really lose it. You just ran your hands through your hair, trying to find your own way to cope.

_I’m back, back in the New York Groove. I’m back, back in the New York Groove. I’m back, back in the New York Groove._

But apparently, Drax had enough my now. He thundered up to the stereo and shoved you aside. You would have told him off, but he picked up the Zune and shut off the music.

You sighed in relief.

”Finally.” You muttered.

For a few moments, there was quiet. Then Peter yelled from his seat, faint, “turn it back on!”

”No!” Drax yelled back.

You heard Peter’s footsteps running up to the stop of the stairs. He stopped in the doorway. “Turn it back on.” He repeated.

“I will not listen to the same song,” Drax shouted. “Again and again and again!”

”He’s right, Peter.” You sighed. “You need to stop with this.”

Peter walked up to the two of you, urgency in his step. “I’m screwed up, man. I gotta get back in the groove! Specifically the New York Groove!”

Drax grabbed the Zune, and held it away from him.

”Give me the Zune.”

”No.”

”Give me. The Zune.”

”No!” Drax ran away with it, the device clenched in his hands.

He turned to you now. “Alex, make him give me back the Zune.”

”Peter, no!” You exclaimed. “Nothing is helping! The New York Groove will not help you!”

”I need this!”

”The man who sings this song,” Drax called after the two of you. “Is a degenerate!”

”I will not sit here and allow you to malign Ace Freely!” Peter was in a rage as he booked it to Drax, on the opposite side of the table from him. The two were equal distance away.

”Both of you, stop!” You yelled.

”Give me the Zune!” Peter yelled at Drax, trying to duck either way to reach him.

”Peter, stop!” You said, voice firmer. You pulled on his sleeve. 

He yanked his arm away and chased Drax around the table. The two weaved in a circle, fruitlessly getting nowhere.

”Ace Freely,” Drax grunted. “Is not helping! We haven’t even left Knowhere yet!” He pointed out the window at the fires still raging outside.

”Peter, this coping isn’t healthy.” You tried to reason with him. “We are not getting Gamora back if just sit around and listen to old pop music!”

”Yeah? Well, at least I’ll feel better!”

”You won’t, unless you get off your ass and try to do something!”

“We lost Gamora because of you.”

You took a step back with that statement. “I’m _sorry_?”

”We lost Gamora,” Drax interjected. “Because you would not allow me to seize the moment!”

”Both of you are idiots!” You yelled over the din. “Are we really fighting about this?!”

”My girlfriend has been taken by Thanos!”

”Yeah?” You shouted back. “Well, there’s another thing we have in common!”

Peter quieted with that.

”And if we ever want to see them again,” you lowered your voice. “We’re going to have to haul ass and not mope. Don’t do what I did when Nebula left.”

You thought you were making progress when Drax interrupted you and said to Peter “what do you care? You tried to kill her!”

”She said I’d be saving the universe!” He yelled back.

Once again, before you could say anything, you were interrupted. “I would kill either of you to stop this blinking yellow light.”

”What?” You asked.

It was Mantis. You turned to look at her now, and noticed that there was a little capsule attached to a pipe just above the seat she was sitting in. It was blinking softly, a yellow glowing light cane from its small screen. It made a soft beeping—you couldn’t hear it before because of all the yelling.

“What blinking yellow— the coded message channel?” Peter asked breathlessly, walking up to examine the screen. “How long has this been on?”

”Jesus.” You put your face in your hands.

”Mantis,” he turned to her. “A blinking yellow light means someone sent us a secret coded message. How did—“ Peter's head shot up. He pointed at Drax. “This was your job.”

”It was his job!” Mantis repeated.

”But...” Drax looked actually confused.” It’s yellow. And you said ‘if it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.’ Those were your orders.”

“I wasn’t talking about the coded message channel.” He hissed.

”I am going to break my oath of pacifism.” You said, voice muffled through your hands. “So I can kill you both with my bare hands.”

“Twenty-two important secret encoded messages.” Peter pointed at the screen. “That could have been helpful. Five hours. We have been sitting here for five hours.”

“I’m going to self-destruct.” You turned around and placed your hands on the table. You were so mad, you actually had to take a breather.

A beep came from the machine, and his eyes widened. “Twenty-three important encoded messages!”

”Open them already!” You exclaimed.

There was quiet, as you heard the little symbols come to form on the screen. Peter didn’t say anything.

”Well?” You demanded.

”They’re from Nebula.”

You didn’t even know that you had shoved him away until your face was inches from the screen. Your breathing was faster than you had ever breathed before. 

Nebula was alive. Nebula was alive.

Such relief was unknown to you. It was as if you had been living on the brink of death for months, and someone had finally pulled your from the edge. You were safe. She was safe. Or at least, she was alive. 

”Oh, my god.” You had to support yourself on the wall. “She’s alive.”

”Congrats, now read the message.” Drax said, insensitive.

”Cram it, you tattooed mess of muscle.” You snapped back at him, still catching your breath. You read now, eyes coming into focus. “Gamora is also alive!”

It was Peter’s turn to freak out. “Oh my God!” His hands shot up in the air, then nestled on his head. 

You turned at him, smiling big and wide. “Feels good, doesn’t it!”

”Keep reading or I’ll kill you.”

You continued reading. “Thanos is taking her to... Titan!”

Peter clapped his hands together, running over to the table, where a hologram map was projected.

You looked at the other messages, reading them word for word. “ ‘Why aren’t you responding? Why aren’t you responding? Is Alex upset with me?’ ” 

She really was still thinking about you.

You put a hand to your chest. “Oh, Nebula... ‘are you getting my important coded secret messages?’... ship coordinates!” You exclaimed, full of joy. 

“Yes, yes...” Peter whispered. “Wait. How do we know this isn’t a trap?”

”She talked about me. And Thanos didn’t even know who I was when I saw him first.” You turned back to the messages. “Plus... ‘Is Alex okay? Is Alex still there? Can you tell her I miss her?’” It made your heart hurt, seeing all of these.

Peter hesitated. “I don’t know. It could still be a trap.”

Mantis looked over your shoulder and read the next message. “If you see this and you don’t, Quill, I will sew your face to your genitals.”

”That’s her.” You breathed. 

Peter looked up at the map and smiled. “Looks like we’re going to Titan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a deleted scene that I’m sad they removed bc it’s very funny


	23. Collaboration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With hope now that Nebula is alive, your form an unlikely bond with some familiar (and unfamiliar) faces.

The fact you didn’t have a revenge playlist was probably your biggest regret, as of this moment.

Not the fact that you made so many mistakes in your life, or sometimes you felt like you chose the career path you weren’t invested in (before you joined the Guardians, or course) Not the fact that you had forgiven so many people that didn’t deserve it, or not even the fact that you let Nebula leave.

Now that you knew Nebula was alive and well, you had no other problems to be concerned with. Galaxy be damned, you had a girlfriend to link up with. And you were ready to destroy Thanos— well, let the others destroy him, that is. You would help in a non-violent way. And you were upset that you didn’t have the right jams to obliterate him to.

Your biggest problem, right then, was that you didn’t have mood-appropriate tunes to absolutely destroy someone to.

You were pumped. You were past pumped. Knowing that Nebula was alive Now was enough to get the blood in your veins running at top speed. Your heart was off the charts. This was happening. And you wouldn’t hesitate for a moment.

Of course, there was still that underlying layer of fear. It was always there. But you, for once, did not feed into your sense of self-preservation.

If Nebula was alive, you would not hesitate to move Thanos to get to her.

You hadn’t listened to your own music for awhile. Since Thor crashed onto your ship, you had gone roughly a day without it. Now that you had landed on Titan, you had been preparing. Sure, it was a little too last-minute for your tastes, but you felt prepped. And you were ready to march onto Titan, completely blaring something.

You just didn’t know what. If you had made a playlist, you would know what to put on. Oh, well... you could figure it out now.

You were wearing Pacify (of course, a classic, and you wanted Thanos to recognize you when you intercepted him) and you were scrolling through your regular music playlist, trying to find something appropriate. This would make or break your battle.

Run the World (Girls) would be wonderfully powerful, but you didn’t think that Beyoncé would be serious enough. Sorry, B.

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing was literally a revenge song, but it was a little too angsty for your taste. You didn’t want to come off as immature and whiny while absolutely trashing Thanos.

Thunderstruck by AC/DC? You were taking down a Mad Titan, not walking out into a wrestling ring. As brutal as it would be, it’s seemed too... cliche. But hey, he didn’t know anything about Earth culture, so you settled for that.

Queuing up the song, you rubbed your hands together. You were ready.

You stepped out of your room and met with Peter, who was examining his one remaining blaster. The other, he told you, got turned into bubbles. Apparently, when Thanos was using the reality stone, he just made another clone of himself. That was the one that talked to you.

You wondered if clones retained memory. You hoped so.

”Hey.” You said, rolling your visor up. “We landing soon?”

”Yeah.” He said, cocking his blaster. “Ready?”

”Honestly?” You crossed your arms. “I think... more than I should be.”

”Good.”

”How about you?”

Peter rubbed his neck. “Me too. I was thinking about using my rage to really get into it, though.”

”That’s a much bette  outlet than listening to the New York Groove for five hours.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah... Yeah, I’m not doing that again.”

You nodded. “Good idea. Ready to get your girlfriend back?” You playfully punched him in the shoulder.

”Yeah.” He smiled a little. “What about you?”

”I’ve been ready,” you said. “For the past two months.”

You rocked back and forth onto your heels. There was a lot of nervous energy bouncing around inside of you. It made you loose. Excited. Albeit unfocused on other things around you, you were rooted in your own little plan.

”Peter?” Mantis said, looking out of the skylight. “There is something approaching.”

”Something?” Peter stood up. “Is it them?”

”I do not know...” Mantis kept staring, her eyes following the object. “It is like... a flying circle... that is getting very close to the ground...”

Suddenly, there was a shattering boom, hard and sharp, from outside of the ship. You nearly fell to the ground because of how strong it was. It was a rumbling, prolonged noise, that lasted very nearly a full minute because of its destruction. Something big had crashed into the planet. 

As the rumble calmed, you were able to steady yourself. You turned to look over at Peter, then exchanged a look with Drax and Mantis.

”I think that’s them.” You breathed.

”Let us destroy them.” Drax unsheathed his knives.

You and Peter made eye contact, then clicked on your helmets. You grinned. The hull to the ship opened, and you were out.

Running out, Drax and Mantis joined you. Drax already had his knives in hand.

”Oh, this is great.” You whispered, seeing the carnage before you. A large, circular ship had completely shattered on impact. It was split into two parts, and you were all running to the closest. It had hit the ground a ways away from your ship, so there was no danger of being hit by any flying debris.

This was happening. This was really happening. Thanos had either crashed his ship in a fiery wreck, or Nebula had just made her tardy appearance.

Once you made it to the broken ship, you leaned against the wall. There were many holes and rips inside of the ship that you could crawl through, and you grinned. There was one big one, just at ground level, full of smoke.

Mantis peered inside, and something seemed to catch her attention. “There are three figures who I have never seen before. I think they may be children of Thanos.”

It wasn’t Nebula. Even though your heart sank a little, you were still excited to ruin some lackey’s day.

”Oh, yes.” You whispered. “I am so ready.”

”That makes two of us.” Peter pulled something off of his belt. It was a grenade.

“Is that the gas kind,” you asked him, looking at it in his hand. “Or the blow-off-your-junk kind?”

”The blow-off-your-junk kind.”

You grinned wider devilishly. “Lets blow off some Thanos junk. May I?”

He hesitated. He probably really wanted to do this.

”You can throw it, if you want.”

”No.” He shook his head. “Knock yourself out.” Peter handed you the grenade.

”Thanks,” you pulled off the pin in your teeth. “But I think I’ll knock them out instead.”

”Nice.”

”Thanks.”

You bucked it onto the ship, and plugged your ears. Sure enough, it exploded, and Peter signaled for you all to go inside once it went off.

The four of you stormed the entrance, it still billowing with smoke from the crash. It was better than you could have imagined— your silhouettes emerging from the smoke, coming upon the three disoriented minions. They looked at you, astounded, afraid. You could feel it in their auras.

Grinning, you activated your music. The chanting echoed across the empty, broken walls of the ship, and you smiled.

You didn’t get a good look at the three figures. They were all in the dark, and two were masked. It didn’t matter. You would bring them down, anyway.

”Thanos!” Drax screamed, storming the ship. He threw a knife at a caped figure.

The caped figure waved its hand, and some kind of orange-yellow runes sprouted from its hand. They rotated and morphed into is geometric shapes, and it was almost hypnotizing to look into. The knife got embedded in the Apparently solid mass. That shocked you— you felt as if you had to deal with this guy first.

You leapt forward as Mantis and Peter took the others two masked creatures, and you pointed a finger at the caped one. You held out your other arm to stop Drax.

”Surrender,” you said, voice strong over the music. “Or I will have to use force.”

”Go ahead.” The figure dared.

 _Thunder_.

You shot a gel subduing pellet to try and stop it in its tracks, but it just created another rune. The pellet stuck to it, and did not expand. It swept its hand, and the symbol disappeared, along with the gel ball.

Drax ran past you, screaming, but before he could even make contact with the caped figure— the figure became no longer caped. The cape itself launched forward and wrapped itself around Drax’s head. He fell to the ground, struggling with the sentient garment.

”Wh—“ You didn’t have any more time you be confused as you shot another bead at the caped figure. Once again, it was deflected by its runes.

You couldn’t look behind you, even as Peter was firing blast after blast at one of the masked figures. Even if you looked, you wouldn’t be able to see much— the masked figure seemed to also have jet boots, and the two engaged in an aerial battle, weaving and flying past the broken pipes and exposed beams. You couldn’t look. You had to focus on the caped one.

You equipped your bolas, and held it in your hand, swinging it by your hip in a fast circle. “Final chance.” You warned it. “Surrender.”

”Or else what?” The figure conjured two runes, one for either hand. In the light of the glowing symbols, you could see that the it was a He— an oddly human-looking one, too. “You’ll lasso me to death?”

His quip was quickly cut off by you throwing the bolas with incredible precision at his ankles. They wrapped and knotted, and he was unable to move. He fell to the ground, and tried to use his hands to untie them.

 _Thunder_.

”Or else,” you smiled, grabbing his hands with speed you had only ever practiced using and holding them together above his head. “I’ll make you fall on your ass, Magic man.”

He summoned two more runes, which cut and grinded against your armor. In shock, you had let go, exclaiming in pain. The runes had almost cut through your suits wrists. He used this shock from you to his advantage, now using the symbols to cut away at the rope. The metal sliced cleanly.

Now, Peter had just used a magnet device to incapacitate another one of the masked figures. He was struggling against a wall, trying to free himself from the trap. Quill was now shooting at the other masked one, which used six long, metallic appendages to jump away from him. It was scary to even look at the spindly legs launch the creature into the air. 

You would have helped, but you kind of had your own problem to deal with.

You activated your rocket boots, flying upwards and around your assailant, rapid firing tranquilizers from your fingertips at this point.

He still deftly avoided them, summoning rune after rune, and each other the tranqs implanted itself in his shields rather than his body. You groaned a little to yourself. This wasn’t going great.

 _Thunder_.

“Die, blanket of death!” Drax yelled, thrashing at the cape that still tried to suffocate him. He had nearly pulled it off, when the flying masked lackey landed near him, and a blaster emerged from his arm.

Crap. No more thunder. You turned off your music, afraid things were about to go bad. And you didn’t even reach the chorus yet.

At the same time, Peter grabbed the lackey with the freaky extra legs. He was bound entirely, and Peter put a blaster to his head. At least there were even amounts of hostages. But no hostages was your ideal scenario, so something had to be done before their head got blown off.

You flew down, and before the previously caped figure could land any attacks, you threw forward a force field. The symbols he conjured at you fell, causing you no damage. He almost seemed... surprised? The sentient cape landed back onto his shoulders.

“Hey!” You barked at the masked figures, putting your hand out carefully. “We have your guy.”

”Everybody calm the hell down.” Peter said. “Chill out.” He clicked off his mask, and pointed his blaster at the other masked figure. “I’m gonna ask you this one time. Where is Gamora?”

”I’ll do you one better. Who is Gamora?” The masked figure responded. Now that your eyes were adjusting to the light, you realized something... odd.

”I’ll do you one better,” Drax said. “Why is Gamora?”

Despite Drax’s stupidity, you couldn’t help but pay attention to the person holding him down. It was odd, how many people you were finding familiar recently. He wasn’t one of the children on the jungle planet, so you eliminated that option.

”Alright, we’re all gonna calm down,” you said, voice firm. “And we’re gonna take it easy. We don’t want to hurt you.”

”Tell me where the girl is, or I’m gonna French fry this little freak.” Peter pressed the blaster closer rock his victim’s head. Damn it, Quill.

”Oh, yeah?” The figure said. “Let’s do it. You shoot my guy, I blast him, let’s go!”

”Do it, Quill!” Drax yelled. “I can take it.

”No, he cannot!” Mantis exclaimed.

”She’s right. He can’t.” The magic person still had his runes.

When the masked person spoke something... clicked. Something made sense. You audibly gasped, dropping your battle stance. You should have realized it before— the voice, the actions, even his suit. Especially his suit.

”Wait!” You yelled. Urgent. Desperate. It was enough to catch everyone’s attention. “Calm down. Everyone stop.”

You looked to the one pointing the blaster in Drax’s face.

”Tony?” You exclaimed. “Tony Stark?”

He looked over to you, his hand still up, blaster still charged. His helmet fell away— revealing that your suspicions were correct. It was Stark himself. “...Yes?”

”It’s— it’s me!” You urged him. “Alex!” You pointed at yourself.

He gave you a look. “Alex...?” He said it like he was trying to remember someone from high school.

You groaned, then reached to your head to click off your visor. The magic guy got tense, and barked “Hey.”, turning his runes towards you now.

”What are you doing?” Peter hissed at you.

You moved slower, and said “I’m cool. It’s fine.” You clicked off your visor, putting it into portable mode, revealing your face.

You were breathless, and incredibly confused. “Pacify.” You clarified for him. “Remember?”

”Alex?” He squinted, and it finally seemed to click with him, too. “What’s... why are you here?”

”I’m with the Guardians.” You gestured to Peter, who also looked confused. “You don’t— you didn’t remember?”

”You know this guy?” Peter asked you cautiously. He kept his blaster pointed at him.

”Yes I—“ You huffed. “Okay, drop the blaster. We’re fine. No friendly fire.”

Peted apprehensively put it down. Tony also lowered his arm.

”Yes, I know him. I told you about him. You—“ You gestured to Tony. “You’ve met him! You have met each other before!”

”Have we? Sorry.” Tony said, without a care.

You sputtered. “I saw you talk to one another! I though you were, like, old friends or something, the way you talked about each other!”

”We had one video call,” Peter said.

”Yes, exactly.” Tony pointed at Peter. “I’m a busy person. I apologize if I don’t remember every client I work with.” Tony snarked.

”Well,” you crossed your arms. “I would hope that you remember the lady that you’ve launched into space.”

”I’m sorry,” the masked person that Peter was still holding piped up. “Was Thunderstruck just playing earlier? I think I missed something. I’m a little confused.”

You looked over to him. “I am too,” You looked back over to Tony. “As to how someone who made this suit,” you pointed at said suit. “Couldn’t recognize it, either.”

”You think I remember every suit I make?” Tony said back.

”I mean,” you put your arms up in a _duh_ shrug. “I feel like you should.”

”He’s like that sometimes.” The hostage said. You recognized now that his voice was... small. Young. Was this person... a kid? 

”...You don’t know me?” Tony now completely changed the subject, no longer paying attention to you. He looked to Peter. “Everyone knows me.”

”Yeah, well.” He said. “It’s not like you remembered us, the guardians of the Galaxy, either.”

”Peter— let go of the other guy.” You said, increasingly frustrated.

He looked down to the person he was still holding. The gun was still to his head. He released him, and he happily stepped away from his captor. The mask fell away from his face, similar to how Tony’s did— Yup. This was a kid. This was literally a child.

You put a hand to your face. “Oh my God, Stark... why is there a child— what are you doing here?”

Tony took his foot off of Drax, accordingly, allowing him to stand up. “Some aliens are trying to take a green rock from Mr. Party Trick over there.” He pointed at the magic one.

He sighed. “It’s an Infinity stone.”

”You have an infinity stone?” Peter raised his eyebrows. “So you aren’t serving Thanos— wait, Who are you guys?”

”We’re the Avengers, man.” The kid said.

”Like the ones Thor told us about!” Mantis exclaimed. She was still tied up in webs. You sighed and went to free her.

”You know Thor?” Tony raised his eyebrows.

”Yeah.” Peter said bitterly. “Tall guy, not that good-looking, needed saving.”

The kid made a face, and seemed to look to you for confirmation. Once you freed Mantis of the final web, you shook your head at him. Peter was just bitter.

”Where is he now?” The caped one asked.

”Nidavelier.” You answered, brushing your hands of the webs. “He’s getting... some kind of weapon. To kill Thanos.”

Tony and the caped man exchanged looks.

”So... you aren’t with Thanos?”

”No!” Drax yelled with incredible offense.

”We’re here to kill him.” Peter said.

Tony and the caped man exchanged another look

Wait. The webs— You looked over at the kid, examining his suit more closely. When you were able to make on the insignia on his chest, your eyes widened. “Hey,” you said, getting his attention. “You’re Spider-Man?”

For a second, he seemed surprised— then proud that someone knew his name. You could feel it in his aura, the kid was ecstatic. “Yeah,” He said. “I’m Spider-Man.”

”Wow,” you breathed. “You’re great. I’m a big fan.”

”So this is the Spidered-Man.” Drax looked him up and down. “You are more boy than you are a spider or a man.”

Tony looked at you, furrowing his brow. “How is it they know about this kid and not about me?”

”I’ve actually talked to them about Spider-Man.”

The kid was proud to bursting. Having his name recognized over Tony’s was mind-blowing to him. He really appreciated the attention! If this weren’t so important of a meet-up, you would be busting Tony’s chops even more than you already were. 

“Well,” Tony planted his hands on his hips. “May I ask what it is you’re doing here?”

”We’re here to kill Thanos.” Peter put away his blaster. “We thought he was you.”

”Same mission, it seems. We thought you were working for him.” Tony replied.

”Yeah,” you huffed. “Because you couldn’t bother to remember what our faces looked like.”

”Can we drop it? Could we just drop this?” Tony requested.

”Are you after him for the same reason we are?” The caped one asked.

”To get the Infinity Stones from him.” Peter said. “And he took my girl.”

”Mine, too.” You added.

Spider-Man, Tony, and the other one gave you a variety of looks. You cleared your throat and scratched the nape of your neck.

”What?”

”I mean, no judgement or anything.” Tony said, putting up his hands defensively. “Really.”

You sighed. “Just... don’t.” You looked around at the other two, and crossed your arms. “Well,” You said. “I think this may or may not be the start of a team-up.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “A team up.” He repeated.

”We have the same goal, and we just happened to stumble upon each other.” You shrugged. “Sounds about right to me.”

”We’re in.” The caped man said, not considering what Tony thought. A good choice.

Peter looked around at his new teammates. “Now that we’re all acquainted, I think we should probably introduce ourselves.”

You turned to glare at Tony. “So we can remember who everyone is.”

”Yes,” Tony clapped his hands together. “I agree. I think you should all be more considerate next time and remember who I am.”

You rolled your eyes.

”I’m Tony. Tony Stark. Genius, philanthropist, playboy, millionaire.”

”I am Drax the Destroyer.” Drax replied. “Your titles are very puny, and demonstrate no power.”

”And your weakest muscle in a body full of definition seems to be the brain, my intergalactic friend.” Tony fired back.

While the two of them bickered, you held out a hand to the caped one. “Alex.” You said. “Sorry about almost tranquilizing you earlier.”

”It’s... fine.” He took your hand. “Strange.”

“I mean, I guess.” You shrugged. “I’m not really one for violence, so I’d rather just knock someone out—“

”My name.” He said tersely. “Doctor Strange.”

”Ah.” You let go of his hand. “Sorry. Nice to meet you, doc.”

Mantis had just finished introducing herself to Spider-Man (a little ironic, all the bug-themed people in this vicinity) and you walked up to him. It was odd. You weren’t that much older than him, maybe four years at the most, but he still seemed like a child. 

You did have admiration for Spider-Man— you saw all those videos of him on the internet, and he was certainly awesome. But you didn’t think that he was still in high school. Nevertheless, it made you a lot less nervous to meet him. Thank goodness, you didn’t want to be anxious the whole time like you were with Thor.

“I’m Alex”. You smiled as warmly as you could, giving him a kind aura. “Nice to meet you.”

”Oh! We’re using our real people names now. Okay.” He exhaled. “I’m Peter. Peter Parker.”

You laughed. “Looks like we’ve got two Peters now.” You pointed at Quill. He was talking with Tony about something, and by the looks of it, he was irritated.

”Oh,” Peter said. “Huh.” He looked back to you, seeming a little worried. “Wait, should I have not told you my full name? Because I’ve kind of got a secret identity thing going on—“

You waved off his worries. “Don’t worry.” You said. “I won’t tell anyone.”

”Cool,” he smiled, then looked back to Mantis. “Hey, can you tell me her real name? Because she said her name was Mantis, so I introduced myself as Spider-Man, but...”

”No, Mantis is her real name.”

”Oh,” he looked back at her again, and she was now awkwardly trying to figure out how to shake hands with Doctor Strange. “Alright... oh, by the way!” He looked back up to you. “Did you really meet Thor?”

”Yeah.” You grinned.

”...Was he really not that handsome?”

”Nah. He was super handsome.” You assured him. “Even by my standards. Quill’s just a little bitter. It’s a long story.”

He nodded, seemingly relieved.

“Well, great to meet you.” You pat him on the shoulder affectionately. 

“Oh yeah, you too.” He replied. He seemed a little nervous. You sent him more of a positive aura, then walked over to Tony.

He had just finished arguing with Quill about something when you approached and crossed your arms. “I didn’t think I would see you this soon, Tony.”

”Yeah, well.” He crossed his arms as well. “Plans change.”

”You don’t have to tell me.” You ran a hand through your hair. “I wasn’t really counting on getting my girlfriend kidnapped by Thanos, but here we are.”

”You been keeping your nose clean?”

”Haven’t hurt a person yet.” You replied. “Still a pacifist.”

He nodded, putting his arms down. “Well... good. I’m happy for you.”

”Thanks.”

A beam collapsed, very nearly landing on Drax. It instead missed him by inches. When it landed, he was in shock for a few moments, then laughed loudly. 

“So close to death,” he yelled. “Yet I live to kill another day!” His voice echoed eerily.

Peter and Doctor Strange were very visibly uncomfortable. You cleared your throat and turned to Tony.

”I think we should get out of here.”

* * *

 “Six months,” Tony crossed his arms and nodded. “And You’ve become a natural up here.”

You were outside of the falling-apart ship now, and walking away happily. Now that you were no longer in a building with weak structural integrity and had no blood on your hands, you felt relaxed. The last thing that you expect to see in that ship was Tony, but here you were. Fate was an odd, odd thing.

Holding the visor in your hand and walking with this odd crew was... an experience. Watching Peter and the doctor talk with the others was out of the ordinary. Seeing these three humans almost gave you a sense of homesickness. The only human you had ever seen around often was Quill.

”I saw you flying that suit around,” he continued. “And I gotta say, I’m impressed.”

”Thanks.” You grinned. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

You went to playfully punch him in the shoulder but he held up a hand. “Just giving you a complement as an acquaintance. We aren’t there yet.”

You pulled back your hand and put it in your pocket. Clearing your throat, you continued the conversation.

”Well,” you said. “Sorry. I’ve kind of gotten over my shyness a little bit now that I’m here, and I just, uh...”

”You’ve got moxie.”

”Yeah, uh,” you mumbled. “I’ve been training a lot. Working on my accuracy. Stuff like that. The suits really help, though.”

”Well,” he folded his arms back up. “Remember what I said to you when you left?”

You looked up to him.

”The suit’s only worth what’s inside it.” He pointed at you. “And you are worth a lot.”

You looked away, bashful of all his praise of you. You didn’t dislike it, of course. But it was still Tony, and since you became a Guardian, you got newfound confidence. And you used that confidence to poke fun at him. Then you looked back at him.

”Y’know,” you put a finger to your chin. “It’s odd that you remember the stock quote that you gave me before launching me into space, but not actually the act of launching me into space.”

Toby groaned. “Remind me to never give you a compliment.”

You laughed, then looked at Peter— the kid one, not Quill. “Hey, if you don’t mind me asking,” you said. “What’s with the teen?”

Tony groaned again. “Stowaway.”

You crinkled your brow. “He stowed away? On that thing?” You jutted your thumb out to the ship.

”Well,” Tony said. “Things are a little hectic back on the motherland.”

”God, Earth.” You looked up the sky. “How is it? Have I missed anything big?”

”Baskin Robins made a flavor after me.” Tony replied. “Stark Raving Hazelnuts.”

You hummed.

“It’s a little chalky.” Strange said from beside you, falling back from the rest of the group.

”Can you please stop?” Tony asked.

”Personally, my favorite is a Hunka Hulk of Burning Fudge.”

You raised your eyebrows. “That’s a thing?” You looked back up to the sky. “Man. I miss Earth.”

As Tony groaned again, Strange looked at you. “How long have you been gone?”

”About six months. Maybe a little more.”

”And Tony put you here?”

”Yup. Put me on a spaceship and sent me off.”

Strange gave him a look that said ‘why would you send someone who can’t even legally drink to go and guard our galaxy?’

”...Why is it that you’re here, anyway?” He asked.

You sighed. “That's... a complicated one.” You said. “The Guardians are an emotional bunch. They’ve got a lot of baggage. I’m mostly here to alleviate that baggage, but...” you shrugged. “They’ve gotten good at doing it on their own. So, I’m just along for the ride.”

Strange nodded. “So you’re their therapist.”

”I mean, I guess. I have emotional powers and stuff.”

Strange gave Tony a look. “Do you know where these powers come from?”

”I’ve had them all my life, but I’ve never been to a neurological scientist or whatever who told me the source of them. I never got, like, ‘oh the part of your brain that feels emotions acts with 100% of its power’ or something.”

”So would you say it’s magic?” He was still staring at Tony.

”That’s the most probable answer, Yeah.” You agreed.

”Huh.” You could see Tony get visibly irritated and say, “Well, she also has my suits, so... science is there, too.”

”Oh yeah.” Strange replied. “Sure.”

There was definitely animosity between these two people. Tony was someone who was very grounded and rooted in reality. He was famous for only believing in science and technology. Doctor Strange, on the other hand, seemed to also have a very grounded view, but used magic. Or at least, you thought it was magic. They were two very different, but very similar people.

It made the air around you seem a little tighter, like you couldn’t fully relax your muscles. They didn’t seem to like one another that much.

You hummed.

Tony looked at you. “What?”

”I don’t need to be an empath to know that the tension between you two is palpable.” You grimaced. “As in, this physically hurts to be around.”

The two both cleared their throats and looked away from each other. The tension still hung in the air.

“I mean,” you said. ”I also fight with the Guardians sometimes, but I’m pacifistic, so...”

”How does that work?”

”Sane way it did with you.” You smiled at the doctor. “Capture and restrainment.”

”If you normally perform like you did today, you need to brush up a little on your restrainment.” 

You laughed. “I wasn’t at the top of my game.”

”Well, Let’s hope you are when Thanos gets here.”

You swallowed, your joking mood gone. “Yeah.”

Drax, once again not reading the mood, ran up to you laughing maniacally. His hands were bound in webs.

”Alex, look!” He yelled. “The Spidered Man has restrained me! He truly is part spider, part man.”

You gave him a thumbs up. “Super, Drax.”

He laughed again, and ran back off to join the group. The Doctor followed him, apparently done with interacting with Tony.

Tony gave you a look. You shrugged. “That’s just Drax.”

“Right.” He drawled. “And, correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t there be more of you?”

You stared forward. “Yeah.” You replied. “Rocket and Groot went with Thor to Nadivaler. And Gamora and Nebula...” you trailed off. “We’ll get them back.”

Tony nodded. “Good luck.”

You nodded back. “Thanks.”

He put a hand on your shoulder, and though his face said he was sincere, his aura felt very awkward about it. “I’m sure Gamora will be happy to see you.”

”Thanks...” you said, looking at him apprehensively. “But I’m more worried about Nebula.”

”Huh?”

”Gamora is Peter’s girlfriend.”

Tony arched his eyebrows. “Sorry, I’m not remembering this wrong, am I? Isn’t Nebula the blue one?”

You nodded.

”With the...?” He gestured to his left arm. He was talking about her robotic limb. “And the...?” He gestured to his head. Her baldness.

You nodded, slower this time.

”So she’s...?”

You nodded again.

”Wow. Uh,” Tony clapped his hand on your shoulder again, his aura even more awkward. “To each their own.”

”Great.” Your lips were a thin line. 

“I’m gonna...” Tony abruptly walked away, and you could breathe again.

Geez.

Parker, seeing that you were no longer talking to Tony, rushed up to you and walked by your side.

”Hey, so,” he said. “The others told me that you guys are, like... Guarders of the Galaxy?”

”Guardians,” you smiled at his excitable attitude. “Yeah.”

”That is so awesome,” he breathed. “And I just wanted to say that I think that really cool. But, like...” his voice trailed off. “I feel bad for not... knowing you.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. I didn’t know who the Guardians were until Tony told me.”

”Wow.” Parker said, looking at the other Guardians. “So he just... put you on a ship?”

”After giving me a couple suits, Yeah.”

”You have more than one?” His eyes widened. You were blowing this kid’s mind right now, and you were loving it.

”Yeah.” You responded.

”That’s so cool,” he repeated. “And you guys are like, on this awesome mission... it’s so cool.”

”Well,” You nudged him with your elbow. “You are too, aren’t you?”

With that, his face lit up. “Yeah.” He nodded, a smile forming slowly. “Yeah, I am, aren’t I?”

That settles it. You would die for this kid, no questions asked.

”Really, though.” You sighed. “I’m just glad to have some other humans to talk to. Quill’s the only other one I’ve been with for six months, and honestly, it’s a lot.”

”Really?” Parker looked back up at you. “So your girlfriend...”

”Is an alien,” You finished his sentence. “Yes.”

”Huh.”

You shrugged. “Quill’s girlfriend is too. We surprisingly have a lot in common.” You smiled at him. “We like ‘em intergalactic.”

Parker laughed at that.

”The hell happened to this planet?” Quill said from a few feet away. “The planet’s eight degrees off it’s axis. Gravitational pull is all over the place.”

Mantis seemed to test this theory, bouncing up and down as if she were on a trampoline. She flew upwards and made a slow descent down, giggling at this. You smiled at her, and couldn’t help to bounce a little too.

“Yeah, well.” Tony said. “We’ve got one advantage. He’s coming to us. We’ll use it.”

”Then take him down,” You said, still bouncing in the air.

”You know, it’s hard to take you seriously when you’re jumping like that.” Tony said, then clapped his hands together. “Alright. I have a plan. Or at least the beginnings of one.”

You stopped jumping, and listened intently. Everyone gathered up into a group.

”Simple enough. We draw him in, get him down, take what we need. Definitely don’t wanna dance with this guy. We just want the gauntlet.” He seemed to direct this last comment to Quill specifically.

Drax yawned.

”Are—“ Tony turned to look at him. “Are you yawning?”

He paid him no attention.

”In the middle of this? When I’m breaking it down? Did you hear what I said?”

Drax now looked at him. “I stopped listening after you said ‘we need a plan’.”

”Okay, Mr. Clean is on his own page.” He looked at Quill and pointed to Drax.

”Yeah, not winging it isn’t really what we do.” Quill replied.

Tony looked to you for confirmation. You nodded.

”He’s right. We don’t usually do plans.”

Stark sighed.

”Uh,” Parker piped up. “What exactly is it that you do?”

”Kick names. Take ass.” Mantis said with utter confidence. Drax nodded in agreement.

”No, sweetie, it’s—“ you sighed. “Take names, kick ass. Other way around.”

”Oh.” Mantis looked sad. 

“Hey, it’s fine. Don’t worry. We all make mistakes.”

Tony stared, and Parker just looked between you and him. Stark looked to the ground and sighed again.

”Hey, Okay—“ You said defensively. “I know this isn’t the best first impression, but we’re perfectly capable.”

”Maybe sending you up here was a mistake,” Tony muttered.

”Hey!”

”Alright, Just—“ Tony huffed. “Get over here, please. Mr. Lord, Alex, if you could get your people to circle up?”

”Mr. Lord.” Peter scoffed. “Star-Lord is fine.” He gestured for Drax and Mantis to join the circle with you. They obliged.

”We gotta coalesce.” Tony said. “Because if all we come at him with is a plucky attitude, then—“

”Dude.” Peter interrupted. “Don’t call us plucky. We don’t even know what that means.”

”It means having optimism in a bad time.” You said, crossing your arms.

”Okay, now we know. Thank you, Alex.”

”Sure.”

Quill turned back to Tony. “Alright, yes, we’re optimistic. I like your plan.” He sucked in a breath. “Except, it sucks. So let me do the plan, and that way, it might be really good.”

Tony stared at you again, trying to see if Peter was serious. “I’m not taking a side in this.” You said defensively. “I just want to put down Thanos and get out with my girlfriend ASAP.”

”I do too!” Peter said. “That why we should use my awesome, not sucky-plan.”

”He is right,” Drax said, his hands on his belt. “Tell him about the dance off to save the universe.”

”That’s not...” Peter tried to wave him off. “It’s nothibg.”

Once again, Tony stared at you for confirmation. “What dance-off?”

”I mean, I wasn’t there at the time.” You said. “But I heard it was sick. He saved a planet.”

”A dance-off?” Parker asked. “Like in Footloose? The movie?”

Quill’s eyes widened. “Yes, exactly like Footloose! Is it still the greatest movie in history?”

Parker grimaced. “It never was.”

Quill looked genuinely hurt by that. You pat him on the shoulder.

”I could have told you that.” You whispered. Peter shrugged your hand off of him.

“Don’t encourage this, you two.” Tony said to you and Parker. “We’re getting no help from Flash Gordon here.”

“Flash Gordon?” Quill replied. “By the way? That’s a compliment. Don’t forget, I’m only half human, so that 50% of me that stupid is 100% of you.”

”Hey!” You exclaimed.

”You’re fine.” Quill assured you.

”Your math is blowing my mind right now.” Tony remarked.

Mantis piped up, no longer paying attention to what used to be a planning session. “Excuse me?” She chimed, sounding distressed. “Does your friend often do that?”

You turned to look around, finally noticing that the Doctor wasn’t I no then group. Instead, he was a few feet away, on top of a small hill. He was sitting cross-legged. He was also floating.

This little detail paled in comparison when you noticed his head whipping around so much it became a blur, and the ties of green energy wrapped around his arms. There was a light twinkling noise as well, ensnaring from him, seemingly. It made you jump.

”Strange?” Tony asked. “We alright?”

Strange’s cape was flowing behind him as well, seemingly also affected by this odd sequence. His head continued whipping around. He did not respond, and the unusual twinkling sounds that were so quiet before raised in volume.

Tony now walked over to him with a sense of urgency, and everyone else followed. Just before he reached him, Strange fell to the ground with a yell, his head no longer blurred and snapping.

He was having a tough time breathing, and Tony put a hand on either of his shoulders. 

“You’re back, you’re back.” Tony said to him calmly, attempting to soothe him. “You’re alright.”

”Yeah,” he choked out. “Hi.”

“Hey, what was that?” Parker piped up.

”I went forward in time,” Strange breathed. “To view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.”

“...how many did you see?” Quill asked.

“Fourteen million, six hundred and five.”

There was quiet.

”How many did we win?” Tony dared to ask.

Strange looked to the ground, then looked back up to Tony. The air was thick again.

”One.”

You put your hands on your head. “Holy sh—“


	24. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

“—it!” You breathed.

”Language.” Tony said to you, turning. He pointed at Parker as if to say ‘don’t swear in front of the kid’.

”So you don’t think it’s warranted?” You replied, now pacing. “Oh, god...” you mumbled.

”We’re fine. It’s fine. We’re gonna be fine.”

”Fourteen million, six hundred and five.” You repeated Strange’s words. “Jesus.”

This was hopeless. It was so rare that you felt hopeless, as even in your lowest moments, you had some sort of belief. If not in other people, then on some kind of a greater power. Fate. Destiny. Something along those lines.

But these odds said nothing other than that you were just destined to fail. It just felt pointless, even existing now. Fourteen million, six hundred and five. It was more likely you would win the lottery, while getting struck by lightning; while this happened to twenty-seven other people in the exact same second.

Fourteen million, six hundred and five. It was the kind of number that rattled around in your head.

”Okay,” Peter mumbled, crossing his arms. “Okay, I think we do probably need a plan.”

”I would think so too!” Tony replied aggressively.

”Alright! Let’s make a plan then!” Peter yelled back.

”Fine!”

”Fine!”

”You’re both agreeing with one another,” Strange massaged his temples. “Why are you arguing?”

You turned out of the rest of the conversation. You didn’t want to hear this. It felt like your early days with the Guardians, listening to them bicker while you tried to figure out how to cope. Just going around and around pointlessly with one another.

You closed your eyes and tried to emotionally isolate yourself. It was difficult. But you had to think clearly, somehow, and come up with some kind of plan. The unfamiliar terrain, the pressure, this new information— it was hard to think clearly. What even were your options?

Everntually, the two stopped yelling at each other. Thankfully. Peter and Tony were now cooperating.  They seemed to be bouncing ideas off of one another, but knowing their personalities, they wouldn’t come up with anything too great immediately because they’d low-key be stroking their egos.

Putting a hand to your forehead, you walked over to Strange and sat down next to him. He was still sitting, lost in his own thought.

”Fourteen million, six hundred and five.” You repeated.

”Yeah.” Doctor Strange breathed.

”That’s...” you didn’t have any words for it. One out of fourteen million, six hundred and five. It was a number that had lost all meaning because of how many times it had run through your head.

Strange sat up straighter. “We’ll be okay.”

You hesitated. “Yeah.”

The two of you sat in silence, only catching snippets of Tony and Peter’s plans. They were tangentially related. It didn’t exactly bring you hope.

”I hope so.” You said after a long pause.

”We can hope,” he replied. “Or we can try.”

You nodded. Another stock quote, but now wasn’t the time to be snarky.

”Hey,” you said, voice thick. “Doc?”

”Yes?”

You swallowed. “My girlfriend said... that she would meet us on this planet. But—“ you caught your breath. “She’s not here yet.”

Strange didn’t respond. You were staring at the ground, so you couldn’t tell if he was looking at you.

”When you were looking into the future,” you continued. “Did you see her?”

”...what does she look like?”

”Uh,” your face turned red. “Cybernetic enhancements. Blue skin. Bald. Most likely dressed in leather.”

His lips turned into a thin line. “I can’t say I saw anyone who fit that description.”

Your heart fell, and you stared at his sorry face. Fourteen million, six hundred and five possible futures, and Nebula wasn’t in any of them.

That couldn’t be possible. He had to be wrong. You refused to let this be the truth, hoping that your sheer willpower would bend that future into what you wanted, as if you had the reality stone instead of Thanos. This had to be some kind of mistake, or a lie.

You read his aura. He was telling the truth.

“Are—“ you choked. “Are you sure?”

Doctor Strange nodded.

You swallowed, looking back down at the ground. This couldn’t be happening.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, but didn’t look up.

”Hey.” He said, softly. “It’s alright...As a Doctor... I’m used to breaking bad news to people.”

Sniffing, you drew your legs up to your chest.

“Listen. I’m not going to tell you that everything's going to be fine. But I can tell you to not give up yet.”

”Yeah?” You shot back. “The odds don’t seem to agree.”

He recoiled.

After a moment of silence, You exhaled. “I’m sorry.

Strange was quiet. “If you want,” He said. “I can check again.”

You shook your head, rubbing your eyes. “No. No, it’s... fine. It’s okay.”

You stood, and before you could walk away, the Doctor said one more thing.

”If its any consolation,” he said to your back. “In a good majority of the future I saw, you were there.”

You scoffed. “Of course I would be there. As upset as I am, I’m not running away.”

”That’s not what I mean.”

You stopped in your tracks, then turned around.

”You said that you had multiple suits?”

You nodded.

”In thirteen million, seventy-two thousand, eight hundred and twenty futures I saw,” he said. “You confronted Thanos face to face. Alone.”

Your stomach dropped.

”...what did you mean about the suits?” You asked.

”No one else wears any of them, do they?”

You shook your head.

”It had to have been you, then.”

* * *

 It was getting hotter.

You had clicked on your suit, and had been reviewing your moves for roughly an hour. Dodges. Accuracy in tranq and subduing pearl shooting. Bolas maneuvers. If this was happening, you were going to go down swinging. Which required maximum effort.

The others were still planning, rightfully so. But in your state of mind; you couldn’t really add anything helpful to the conversation. So, you found a flat plot of land a few meters away, and you practiced. You even asked Tony if there were any more features he would recommend.

”I would recommend using another suit,” He had replied. “Like the one with the points on the ends on the hands.”

”Edgewise?” You responded.

”God, You’ve named them?” He asked in disbelief.

”Yeah. Pacify, the Peacepounder, Edgewise—“

”Yeah, Okay.” He waved you off. “I got it.”

Hesitating, you bit your lip. “Why Edgewise?”

”You could impale him.” He responded. “But you’re a pacifist. So the next best thing is to just stick with that suit. It’s more designed for defense, anyway.”

You considered dropping your beliefs, just this once, and try to kill Thanos. But you didn’t. Even though you had tried to punch him that one time, you were ashamed of it.

It didn’t matter how much he needed to die. You didn’t want to be the one who killed him.

Besides, pacifism is what made you Pacify. Even though you were angry, and scared, and hopeless. This was no time to deny what you stood for. So you stuck with Pacify’s original suit. You offered to let the others wear your suits, but Tony said they were made specifically for your body type. If put on by someone else, it would malfunction.

”And we don’t really have time to be hard-wiring and reprogramming them,” he said. “So that’s not an option.”

”Is there an autopilot function we could use for them?” You had offered. “Like you do with your suits sometimes, let them work on your own.”

He inhaled, scratching the nape of his neck. “Remember when I said I put in all the bells and whistles? There were a couple of bells and whistles I skipped out on.”

You sighed.

It was getting hot in this suit. You were sweating as you trained.

You rolled up your visor so you could breathe more easily, the filter on your mouth getting warm and choked up with your breath. Maybe you should take your suit off and take a rest.

You didn’t. You pulled out your bolas and continued to swing it around, now deftly able to maneuver it over your shoulders and body after months of training. You hucked it as hard as you could, like a frisbee, and it wrapped around a pair of upended poles. Bullseye.

You walked over to the poles and snagged the bolas from them. Now to throw it again, over and over, biding your time until Thanos arrives. You had a bitter taste in your mouth that you wanted to wash out. This was no way to wait. But what else could you do?

You wanted to ask Strange more about the future. If anyone would get truly hurt. Who would die. And hearing his only answer didn’t exactly bring you calm, either. You would face down Thanks alone on a majority of the timelines that he saw. You would do it alone.

What did that even mean?

Were you fighting him? Were you staring him down? Did that mean everyone else would flee, and you were met with Thanos alone?

Did that mean everyone else would die in his wake, and you would be the only one to face him?

You didn’t want to think about it. You didn’t want to think about any of this. You were tired of dissecting every little detail, and just considered asking Strange for clarification. But you knew you couldn’t do that either. All you had ever learned from sci-fi movies with time travel in them was to not ask about the future. You wouldn’t like what you would hear.

Besides, it wasn’t like he could detail every single experience. Not in the timeframe you were in. You wouldn’t be satisfied unless you just stoped worrying of your own volition.

Finally undoing the automatic knot in the bolas, you turned around, ready to go back to the spot you were at before and throw it again, and probably even have this whole thought process over again.

Instead of meeting an empty space when you turned around, Parker was standing there. You jumped, almost ready to swing your bolas, but you calmed after seeing his face.

”Peter,” you breathed, rolling up your visor. “Sorry. I’m a little tense.”

”Yeah, uh.” He said, voice thick. “I can tell.”

You sighed and returned the bolas to its container in your arm piece, and clicked off your suit. The cool air hit your skin. “So,” you said. “What’s up?”

”I—“ Peter stuttered. “I wanted to know if I could help with anything.”

”Help?”

”The leaders— Tony and Star-Lord— are kind of making plans.” He explained. “And I can’t really add anything, cause... well, I’m a kid.”

You exhaled, hard. “You and I both, buddy.”

You sat down, your back on one of the upended poles. Peter took the other.

His aura was... oddly strong. He didn’t seem as afraid as you thought he would be. Of course, there was a fear. But it was trumped by something else. A determination.

”So, if I could help with anything, then I’d feel a little more useful than just...” He looked back over to Tony and Peter. “...standing around.”

”I get it. That’s why I’m training over here.” You replied. “I’m not in a very clear place of mind, and I’ve just gotta... get all this energy out.”

He nodded. “You okay?”

A laugh escaped you. It was amazing that he could be worried about anyone else in a time like this. “Are you? You haven’t even graduated high school, and now...” you trailed off, gesturing to the settings around you.

His aura darkened. “Well, Yeah.” His voice was small. “I’m a little scared.”

You stopped, and looked at him. He was dragging his finger through the dirt and dust on the ground. Was he drawing a picture?

Despite this, though his aura darkened, it didn’t... falter. It was hard to explain emotions and what you felt in auras using human words. There wasn’t any other way to describe them, really. But even though Peter’s aura had fallen, just a little, it was just as strong as before. You could feel it in your bones.

“You’re very strong.” You said, staring ahead.

He looked up to you.

”I can feel it.”

”Huh?”

”I didn’t tell you, did I?” You looked back down at Parker. “I’m an empath.”

”Oh! Cool, cool...”

You could tell he didn’t really understand. “I can read peoples emotions.”

”Oh, okay.”

”Yeah.” You replied. “And you’re very strong. Sure, you’re a little scared,” you shrugged and looked forward. “But we all are. I am. But the fact that you are mature enough to stick around, and even that you showed such eagerness to help...” you couldn’t finish your sentence.

This kid was amazing. In a time when he was told that he had a chance that was one in fourteen million, six hundred and five, he came to You— and asked if you needed help. Hell, while Tony and Peter were arguing, no less.

”I think you’re probably the most mature person here.” You smiled at him.

”Really?” His eyes lit up, aura shining in pride— yet disbelief.

You chuckled. “Look at everyone else. Drax and Mantis are children. Tony and Quill? Ha!” You laughed. “That’s a joke. And sure, Doctor Whoever over there seems adult, but he and Tony have beef.”

”You noticed it too? I thought that was just me.”

”Mad beef.” You agreed. “And me... I’m over here pouting. And you just want to help.” You sat up straighter. “I’ve been so worried this whole time about the future, and what’s going to happen, but... you’ve really calmed my nerves.”

”Oh, I didn’t really do—“

”Yes, you did do something.” You said before he could finish. “I should take a page out of your book, Spider-Man.”

”Oh, man,” he said, a smile coming onto his face. “That really means a lot to me. But... it’s nothing. It’s really nothing.” 

“Don’t lie to me, kid.” You chuckled. “I’m an empath.”

He smiled.

”So,” you said. “What’s your secret?”

”Huh?”

”How do you stay so positive?”

He scratched at his neck. “Oh, it’s... it’s stupid.”

”No, tell me.” You elbowed him. “Trust me. Whatever your about to say could not be dumber than what I hear from these morons on a daily basis.”

You pointed at Quill and Drax, who seemed to be in a heated argument about something. Probably something trivial.

”Alright, well...” he looked back to you. “I just think about how— How we’re the good guys. And good guys always win.”

That statement, that statement of pure, simple belief and unadulterated innocent brought such light to your heart that it almost blew you away. He really believed in himself. That you were all good guys, and you would take down the bad guy, and the day would be saved. 

And, by some odd extension in his hope, you began to believe in yourself too.

”Yeah.” You nodded. A grin began to grow on your face. “Yeah.”

”Man, I know it sounds stupid—“

”No.” You cut him off. “It’s not stupid. You’re right.”

Parker looked up at you again.

”You’re right.” You repeated. “We’re the good guys. We always win.”

Peter’s face cracked in a smile too, and you just sat there, grinning at one another.

”Alright.” He said, nodding. “Alright.”

”Yeah.” You stood up, and held out a hand.

He took it, and you pulled him up standing.

”Thanks, Peter.” You said. “I... I feel a lot better now.” You pat his shoulder. “You definitely helped.”

His aura was practically shining now, with such pride you thought he might just explode. It made you glow, too.

Your hope, by some teenage miracle, had returned. 

Even though you still felt scared, scared that Nebula wouldn’t come, you had hope now. You were a good guy. You would win. You thought about what Doctor Strange had said to you.

” _In thirteen million, seventy-two thousand, eight hundred and twenty futures I saw,”_ he had said. “ _You confronted Thanos face to face. Alone._ ”

In a way, the fear you felt before was faced with hope. He didn’t tell you if you would die or not. He didn’t even say if you got hurt. That could be a good thing.

You didn’t allow yourself to dwell on it any more. 

But then you thought about Nebula, and once more, your heart dropped. She still wasn’t in the equation. You had no idea if she could get here, or if she was even alive right now.

But you couldn’t dwell on that, either. She wouldn’t want you to waste your time like that.

” _Get up,_ ” she would say. “ _And go destroy him. For us.”_

Your heart fluttered.

Exhaling, you planted your hands on your hips and looked to Peter. “Let’s go see if we can’t help them make a plan.”

”Really? Because I’m... I don’t know if they would let me.”

”Are you kidding? They’d be lucky to let you get a word in.” You elbowed him. “We all need a little bit more of your mentality.”

He smiled, and your heart warmed.

* * *

 You were right about Peter offering real value to the plan-making process— he was the equilibrium that would bring Tony off of his pedestal when he got too close to making an egocentric comment. And Quill would sep off a little with you there, too, holding him back from snarking any more that he needed to. You were glad you were there.

Plus, it didn’t hurt that Parker was somewhat of a technological genius. Kid was sixteen and he knew close to what Tony did in terms of tech. You were blown away.

So you had a plan. It was basically just assault, assault, assault. Weaken him, then take him down. Tony had suggested that you just tranquilize him on the spot, but when you told him of his massive stature, he dropped it.

”I didn’t make ‘Andre the Giant’ powerful tranqs.” He admitted. “You’d have to shoot at least six or seven into him.”

”I wasted most of my rounds trying to take down Strange, anyway.” You admitted, embarrassed. “I can use the bolas.”

”Okay, so we have a plan.” Quill clapped his hands together. “Beat him up.”

”Minimal beating up.” Tony interjected. “We can’t make him more upset than he need to be. We hide out, wait for him to come. Take him down, get the gauntlet. That’s the plan.”

”Minimal beating up?” Parker asked. “The first step of the plan is to drop a building on him.”

”That won’t hurt him, it’ll distract him.” Quill said. “Dude’s tough.”

”Right. Drop the building, go from there.”

You nodded. Simple enough.

”Once we get the gauntlet,” Drax said. “May I murder him?”

”I mean,” Tony looked around at the others. “I think we should see what the deal is. I can’t promise you that.”

Drax huffed, crossing his arms. “Fine. But if someone gets to kill him, I call dibs.”

”Fair enough.” Strange mumbled. “So, are we ready?”

”Yeah, wizard dude.” Peter gave him a thumbs up and clapped his hands. “Let’s do it.”

”I’m—“ he gave up, sighing. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

”One issue.” You interjected. “Who’s going to be the bait?”

”Bait?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

”Okay, I said that wrong. Not bait. If Thanos comes on an empty planet, he’s going to be suspicious. We need someone to keep him in one spot so we can throw a building at him.”

The group exchanged looks. They knew you were right. Somebody had to greet Thanos.

After a few moments of tense stares, Strange sighed. “I’ll do it.”

”You sure?” Tony asked. 

“I have the time stone. He’s after me. He’ll get cocky, and I can distract him longer.” He looked over to Tony. “Why? Did you want to do it?”

He confidently shook his head. “No. No, no, no, I’m good.” He confirmed. “Let’s go get those spots. I’ll go get that building.” He summon his helmet, gave Strange a thumbs up, then rocketed up to some floating debris.

You sighed, and clicked on your visor as well. It was time to wait.

Drax cane up to you, and you spoke before he could. You already knew what he was going to ask.

”If I get the chance to kill Thanos,” you said. “I’ll give it to you.”

He put a hand over his heart, taken aback. “That is the kindest thing that you have ever said to me.”

You shrugged. “It’s not like I could do it. Besides... I think you deserve it more.”

Drax looked away, clearing his throat. His aura said that he was incredibly touched.

You smiled. “It’s okay, Drax.”

”I am not crying,” he mumbled, walking by you. “You’re crying.”

And before you could do anything else, he left to his spot. You chuckled.

Peter made his way behind some debris on the ground, pulling out his blaster. He sat down, and made sure not to get comfortable.

”You ready for this?” You asked him.

”Honestly?” He looked up to you. “More than I should be.”

You smiled, remembering that wasn’t the same thing you said to him before you found the others.

Though you could feel in his aura that was was afraid, and angry. You had to suppress a bitter laugh. You noticed these feelings popping up often in your life. Fury and fear seemed to work hand in hand around here.

”Me too.” You agreed.

You left to go find your own spot.; Mantis was struggling to find a good place to hide. She was crouching down behind a large beam, but you could still clearly see her. She didn’t seem to understand ‘if I can’t see you, you can’t see me’ didn’t always work.

”Psst,” you whispered. “Mannie.”

She looked up from her hiding spot.

”Move behind that big thing.” You pointed at a crumbled mass of who’s even knew what. “He would see you from behind there.”

She moved, now fully hidden. “Thank you, Alex.” She whispered back.

You started making your way to your own hiding spot when you heard someone clear his throat.

You looked over your left shoulder to see Strange, sitting on a broken flight of stairs. He gestured for you to come over towards him.

You obliged.

“Listen.” He said, standing up as you approached. “I realize... you’re upset about your girlfriend.”

Biting your lip, you nodded. “Yeah.” You said. “Hard not to be.”

”I get it.” He told you. “In a way... I’ve been there.”

”You must get out a lot.”

He laughed at that. “Trust me. Unusual stuff has happened to me, too.”

”Would you say it was... Strange?”

He didn’t laugh at that one. Understandably so.

“Just...” He pat your shoulder a little. “Don’t worry. Something in me... something in me thinks you’ll see her again.”

At that, you smiled genuinely. “Thank you, Doctor.”

He pat your shoulder again, then sat back down. You hurriedly ran to find a spot to sit and wait.

You found an adequate one— behind a large hunk of architecture in front of a fallen structure. You had a good view of the clearing. If you looked up, you could see Parker’s masked face. You waved. He waved back.

Turning back around and pressing your back up to the wall, you waited. As you waited, you touched the scar on your cheek through the open slot of your visor. The stitches had long faded away awhile ago, but you never noticed until now.

* * *

 

There was a sound you had only heard once before. The sound of a portal opening, then closing. Then you heard massive footsteps, slowly walking in your direction.

”Oh, yeah.” Strange’s voice said. “You’re much more of a Thanos.”

He was here. He was here, and you wanted to take him down immediately. But you had I wait for the signal. Biting your tongue and hiding your time, you stayed put. You kept your back to the wall, staring straight forward, looking where Thanos wasn’t.

“I take it the Maw is dead?” His ugly, deep voice rang out.

You didn’t know who the Maw was, but the question was met with silence.

“This day extracts a heavy toll,” Thanos said. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear his footsteps. “Still,” he continued. “He accomplished his mission.”

“You may regret that.” Strange replied. “He brought you face-to-face with the Master of the Mystic Arts.”

“And where do you think he brought you?”

The doctor hesitated. “Let me guess,” he said. “Your home?”

“It was.”

And then, you looked to the ground, and saw that it was changing. The red ash from before, the kind that came from the reality stone, began to spread and change the landscapes. The dusty orange ground turned into grass, and white stone. The sky turned blue. And, if you squinted, you thought you could see people in the distance.

“And it was beautiful.”

Hearing Thanos speak made you feel sick.

“Titan was like many planets.” He began. “Too many mouths. Not enough to go around. As we faced extinction, I offered a solution.”

”Genocide.” Strange remarked snidely.

Why shouldn’t he have? His plan was nothing less than that.

“But random, dispassionate.” Thanos responded. “Fair to the rich and poor alike.”

You wanted to spit now.

”They called me a madman.” He remarked bitterly. “And what I said came to pass.”

The red ashes appeared again, sweeping away the new scene away as quickly as it brought it here. In moments, you were back in the same wasteland that you had landed on.

”Congratulations.” Strange said, voice dull. “You’re a prophet.”

“I’m a survivor.”

”Who wants to murder trillions.”

“With all six stones, I could simply snap my fingers.” He did so— and nothing happened, to your relief. “They would all cease to exist. I call that mercy.”

You heard the doctor stand, then walk slowly down the stairs. “And then what?”

”I would finally rest.” Thanos replied. “And watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.”

Grateful. He dared say the word grateful.

”The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”

“I think,” Strange slapped a fist to his palm. “That you’ll find,” you heard the noises of his runes being summoned. “Our will equal to yours.”

Silence. “Our?”

That was your cue.

Activating your boots, you rocketed upwards, Thanos’ eyes trailing you. You landed next to Strange and fired two subduing pearls at his feet.

Before he could move, they quickly swelled, and his feet remained stuck to the ground. His efforts to move them were fruitless.

He made eye contact with you. You waved politely.

And then a building fell flat on to of him, debris and carnage flying everywhere. The wood and metal and other materials splintered as they hit the ground, and hit your enemy. You almost shivered in delight as dust billowed from the destruction, whipping Strange’s cape and causing you to laugh aloud.

“You’re very brutal for a pacifist.” He remarked calmly, still having his fists clenched and runes up.

”When it’s someone like this,” you shrugged. “How couldn’t you be?”

As Iron Man swooped down off of the top of the building he pushed, Peter clicked on his mask and rocketed alongside him. In a purple flash, the building exploded— and then the pieces stayed There, hanging in midair.

You cursed. Why couldn’t he just die?

Thanos yelled, and clenched his fist. The Reality stone lit up, and the debris turned into flying creatures— you couldn’t tell what they were because of how quickly they moved. You could only guess that they were bats as they swarmed Tony, rushing him away from Thanos. He tried to fly away and lose him, but he just got swept up.

You noticed that Thanos’ feet were still stuck to the ground. You had to give Tony your compliments on whatever those pearls were made out of.

Before Thanos could do anything else, a piece of webbing caught him in the face. You held back a cheer as Peter swung by on a long web. Drax leapt forward with a battle cry as well, and sliced open the back of Thanos’ knee. He yelled in anger.

The Mad Titan swung his arm around to try and hit Drax, but he countered it with a defense of his own. His hand hit his arm, but Drax did not move. Doctor Strange conjured a sort of whip, and used it to hold back his other fist.

Thanos freeed himself of Strange’s trap, but the doctor continued to lash at him over and over. He deftly either dodged or deflected his shots— and you summoned your bolas.

You hucked your bolas as hard as you could throw it, and it wrapped itself around Thanos’ neck. He yelled out as you rocketed over urgently, then grabbed either loose end to attempt to pull him to the ground. His neck strained against the metal ropes.

”Hi again,” You grunted as you pulled, thrusters firing as hard as you could. “You big purple eyesore.”

Thanos swiped his left hand, sending Drax flying, leaving a free hand for him to grab you with. He wrapped his entire hand around your midsection and grabbed you, and with a cry, he had thrown you a long ways away. You couldn’t summon a force field quick enough.

You hit a metal beam with a clang— the armor protected you well enough, but you were still in shock. The wind knocked out of you.

The bolas was still wrapped around his neck as Strange continued  to whip at him. The whip straightened into a sword, poised to slice into Thanos’ body— but he caught it in his hand, similar to how he caught Gamora’s sword. As you fought to catch your breath you saw Peter flying overhead. He leapt from rock to rock, blasters in hand.

Before Peter could reach him, Thanos finally ripped the webbing off of his face and kicked the doctor backwards. Somehow, he had freed himself from one of the pearls. The doctor summoned a rune to protect him, but still flew backwards. As this happened, Thanos caught a shot in the back— Peter had finally fired at him.

But it wasn’t to hurt him. It was to get his attention.

He had run out of rocks to run on. But he kept leaping— and Strange summoned runes under his feet. He jumped over the Titan as he blasted purple rays from the Power Stone, and then planted something on his back. Before Thanos could touch it, Peter had taken off his mask. A portal that Strange summoned appeared behind him.

You grinned as Peter flipped Thanos off, yelled “Boom!” Then jumped into the portal.

The device was a bomb, and it exploded.

The electric rays seemed to zap all the way down to his feet— and unfortunately exploded the final pearl that remained on his foot, keeping him restrained.

You saw Strange mumble something, and once again, his cape sprung to life. It launched itself into Thanos’ hand; the one with the gauntlet on it. It was holding his fingers open, not allowing him to clench his fist. You  stood and began to run at him as he struggled with the garment.

Before you reached him, another portal opened up. Spider-Man came flying out, and yelled “Magic!”

Oh. Yes, please.

You jumped into the portal that he exited, launching yourself out of another portal. As you flew through, you laughed in pure joy, shooting another bolas at his feet. “Magic!” You laughed aloud.

Parker jumped through another portal, alongside you this time. “More magic!” You yelled together, him landing another blow on Thanos. You shot another pearl at him, this time landing on the side of his neck and beginning to swell.

The two of you leapt through one more portal as Peter yelled “Magic with a kick!” Aptly said, as he kicked Thanos square in the jaw.

You instead threw him a prideful and mocking emotional aura, just to make him mad. You still grabbed another bolas as you landed on the ground, holding it out at its longest length to loop around his cloak-covered arm and pull back. “Technology and Magic!” You yelled.

“Magic with a—“ Peter was cut off as Thanos grabbed him and threw him to the ground.

”Insect!” He growled. Before he could do anything else, you thrusted your rocket boots and yanked back his arm, causing him to fall because of the bolas already on his feet.

”Oh, my god!” Peter yelled, hurriedly standing up.

Thanos roared, and whipped his hand upwards, causing the rope to snap. He wrenched the cape off of his hand and clenched his fist, causing the bolas and pearl to disappear into bubbles.

You cursed.

Thanos launched upwards with incredible speed, grabbing Parker by the chest and throwing him away. Before you could do anything, He hit Strange, and the two fell to the ground.

You looked past Thanos’ shoulder, and saw a familiar figure flying towards you. You launched your boots, flying straight upward and away before he could do anything. He turned to see what you had been looking at, and Tony launched missiles from his suit, each one exploding in a fiery mass bigger than the last.

Watching from many meters in the air, you gasped as you saw the flames get smaller, and smaller— and get absorbed into his gauntlet. Thanos screamed as he released this incredibly pressurized fire in Tony’s direction. He got caught in the way, and launched into a large structure.

You cursed again and swooped back downwards, now attempting to encase him in a force field.

Interrupting your plan, Spider-Man swung down, encasing his gauntlet in a thick web. There was a long strand that lead to his own hand, and he pulled on it as hard as he could.

His efforts didn’t matter, as Thanos used his other hand to tear away the web from his glove and throw away Peter once more. Crap. You flew downwards and before he could make impact with the ground, you ecased him in a force field bubble.

“Whoa!” Peter said when he landed safely on the ground. “This is like in the Incredibles!”

”This is no time to be dorky and adorable!” You reprimanded him, turning your attention back to Thanos.

He had torn the residual webbing off of his gauntlet, and stared at you. He raised his hand to clench his fist—

And then a ship, out of the blue, stormed into the atmosphere like a comet. It slammed into Thanos with no hesitation, with absolute grim violence and destruction. It continued to fly forward, burying itself in the dirt as it skidded over his body.

”Uh,” You said unto you communicator, talking to Peter. “Was this part of the plan?”

”No, but let’s roll with it.”

”Sure,” you muttered, flying over to the crashed ship.

The ship slowed to a stop. You could see Thanos’ body thrown in front of it. A large piece of debris hit him in the head, and you groaned wen you saw he was still alive. Pushing the large slabs of stone off of him, he stood, and looked for this new assailant.

A figure came flying out of the ship, leaping so high they obscured the sun. They had two wing-like apparatuses on the sides of their head. Their face was covered with a helmet. They moved swiftly, and with purpose. Their entire body was covered in armor.

An armor so incredibly familiar. So incredibly familiar, you gave it a name.

Andromeda.

They punched Thanos square in the face, and landed in front of him. They drew a sword, crackling with electricity.

You couldn’t move.

”Well, well.” Thanos said. “You found the little toy I confiscated.”

“You should have killed me.” A robot, familiar voice said.

A voice so familiar, you knew her name.

Nebula.

Elation exploded from every pore of your body, every facet of your being. She was here. She was actually here.

What Strange said made sense now. He didn’t see you in all those futures— he saw one of your suits. A suit that Tony had given to you, and the suit that you had given to Nebula.

”It would have been a waste of parts!” Thanos exclaimed.

She screamed and reared back her sword, hitting him again in the face. He wasn’t fast enough. Trying to dodge, she swung again, and hit him in the arm. She threw her sword so it somehow stuck to Thanos’ body, and she grabbed it from behind him and swiped again.

”Where’s Gamora?” She shrieked.

Thanos turned quickly, and was about to hit her. He clenched his fist.

”Nebula!” You yelled, as loud as you possibly could. It felt like your throat was being rubbed raw. You threw forward your arm, and a force field appeared in front of her.

Thanos’ energy blast hit an invisible wall, and he turned to look at you.

But you didn’t care about him. Not now. 

“Nebula!” You yelled again. You didn’t know what else to say.

Thanos clenched his fist again, but this time he sent you flying. A purple beam of pure energy landed square on your chest, and launched you backwards. You landed on the ground, then tumbled, almost spinning out.

You hit your head, and hit incredibly dizzy.

You didn’t see what had happened because your face was on the ground. You groaned, trying to push yourself up. You felt two hands grab you, and pull you so you were sitting upwards. The sun was in your eyes, but it was on blocked out by a silhouette.

Blinking, your vision adjusted.

Nebula.

“Nebula,” you repeated her name, over and over. “Nebula, oh, my god...”

She had taken off Andromeda. You could see her face now, and her dark eyes contrasting with the too-bright colors. The blue of her skin didn’t blend with the orange of your surroundings, and you had never been more happy to see the color blue.

She had also taken off your suit as well. You had never been so happy to feel the cold of her robotic arm on your skin.

”I’m here.” She said, urgency in her voice. “I’m here.”

You hugged her as tightly and fiercely as you possibly could, holding onto her like a life preserver.

She was here. 

“How are you here?” The thought suddenly came to your mind.

”Snapped a guard’s neck. Sent you the encoded messages. Hijacked a ship and landed here.”

”Makes sense, yeah—“ you remember what Tony said about the suits. How they were fit only for you. “But how did you put on Andromeda?”

”I had free time on the ship.” She smiled. “I decided to make myself useful and do some adjusting.”

You breathed heavily. “Nebul, you are a gift.”

“Alex, are you okay?” Nebula breathed, observing your body for wounds.

”I’m fine,” You grunted. Thankfully, the danger was far away, and Doctor Strange, Peter, and Drax were preoccupied with taking Thanos down. “I should be asking you if you’re okay!”

”Don’t worry about me.”

”After you left,” you tried to catch your breath. “And all that happened, I feel like I should!”

”Don’t worry about me.” She repeated.

”You— you left so abruptly!” You felt a sudden surge of anger on you, suppressed in those two months when she was gone. “I’m so angry!” You tried to yell, then weakened. “No, I’m not. You had to do what you had to do.”

”And that got me practically dismantled.”

”What?!” You yelled.

”Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

”Nebula, you—“

”We can talk about this later.”

A piece of flying debris zoomed by you, and it would have hit you if Nebula hadn’t seen and pulled you as close to her body as possible. You were breathless as the rock slammed into a wall where you were standing merely moments ago, but you didn’t look away from her.

”I love you.”

”I love you too.”

Nebula reaches barely down past you, not letting you go with her other hand, to grab your visor. She clicked it on for you. Still holding you, she leapt into the air. You fired your boots, surveying the scene.

”Do we have a plan?” She asked. It was as if she had never left.

”Get the gauntlet. Possibly kill your dad.”

”Sounds good to me.”

Already, things were looking better. Strange had summoned more energy whips, holding his gauntlet hand so he couldn’t close it into a fist. Peter had thrown another electric trap, catching his other hand to the ground after Drax kicked him in the back of the knee. He was at a disadvantage.

”Drop me.” Nebula said. “I want to get a good hit.”

”Good luck, babe.”

”Thanks.”

You did as she said, knowing that she could handle herself. Flying downwards, Nebula drew her sword again, and screaming, she hit him in the jaw.

You grinned. Nice.

Spider-Man swung around, catching Thanos’ midsection with a web to hold him back. He pulled with all his might, not getting swept away like last time because of Strange and Star-Lord’s help. Iron Man also grabbed onto his gauntlet, pulling it hard so it would come off of his hand.

Strange used his free hand to summon another portal, in which Mantis fell down on top of Thanos. She landed on his shoulders and placed her hands on his head.

Thanos was yelling and crying out with all his might, but he was bested, and growing weary. You swooped down, knowing this wouldn’t be enough.

You threw out another bolas and looped it around his right elbow, pulling it down so it bent. You held on tight and watched as his eyes turned white, rolling back in his head. His screams turned lower in volume.

“Is he under?” Tony grunted. “Don’t let up.”

“Be quick,” Mantis pleaded. “He is very strong.”

”Nebula!” You yelled to your girlfriend. “Take over.”

She understood, grabbing the bolas from you as you put both of your hands on Thanos’ front as if pushing him backwards. You were lowering Mantis’ workload, pushing into him a more calming aura.

It was hard, and Mantis was right. You hadn’t noticed when you were preoccupied with trying to fight him, but his aura was astoundingly strong. It made you sick to your stomach to be around him, even when you didn’t know what he was feeling. But this? This was a whole new level of sick.

His feelings were incredibly dense, like bowling balls stacked inside of him. They were tangled and complicated, and horrifyingly powerful. It made you sweat.

The din of all his emotions clashing against one another was like you were in a crowded concert hall full of pained, screaming victims.

”She’s right,” was all you could groan. It took too much effort to even part your lips, and you spoke through gritted teeth. “Hurry.”

“Peter, help!” Tony exclaimed. “They can’t hold him much longer.”

Parker rushes to Tony’s side to try and pry the gauntlet off of him. It was hard, but slowly getting more and more loose.

Star-Lord made his tardy appearance, finally landing a ways away from Thanos with his back turned. He stowed away his blaster, seemingly proud of his word.

”We need to get his fingers open so it can come off,” Tony grunted. “Come on.”

”Quill!” You yelled. “Help!”

“I thought you would be harder to catch,” Peter took off his mask. “For the record, this was my plan.”

Thanos could only futily groan. You felt his anger rise, and it made you shaky.

”Not so strong now, huh?” He was taunting him. “Where is Gamora?” He yelled.

Thanos groaned once more, long and deep. “My Gamora...”

There was sorrow. Why was there sorrow?

“No bullshit.” He spat. “Where is she?”

The sorrow morphed into something horrible and confusing to you, something deep and layered and painful to witness. You cried out in pain. “Peter!” You yelled. You still kept your hands against him, not willing to stop.

“He is in anguish,” Mantis looked like she was going to cry.

”Good.” Peter said, voice sharp.

”Peter, no—“ You wailed, shaking your head. “Stop.”

”He mourns.” Mantis said.

He was mourning. At the mention of Gamora’s name, he mourned. What was this? What was happening?

Nebula’s eyes widened.

“What does this monster have to mourn?” Peter spat again, his anger only growing.

You were between the two. Your back was to Peter, and your hands were still flush against Thanos. You felt both of their emotions horribly, crashing against one another like the tides of different seas merging. You grit your teeth so hard you thought they might crack.

”Peter,” you groaned. “Gamora.”

“...what?” He whispered.

You couldn’t say anything more. You squeezed your eyes shut until all you could see were spots.

Nebula finished for you. “He took her to Vormir.” She struggled with the bolas. “He came back with the soul stone. She didn’t.”

Your heart fell. Gamora.

But you could feel it. You could feel it past Thanos’ perverse sorrow. You could feel Quill’s anger once again, growing steadily, like a dormant volcano about to erupt.

Tony noticed it too, and his voice became panicked. “Okay Quill, you gotta cool it right now.” He snapped. “You understand?”

Peter turned, slowly, looking over your head and into Thanos’.

”Don’t.” Tony’s voice raised. “Don’t! Don’t engage! We’ve almost got this thing off!”

”Tell me she’s lying.” He said. You felt like your were going to vomit.

”Quill, Stop.” You throat was closing. “We’re almost done. Please—“

“Asshole,” he screamed, right in Thanos’ face. “Tell me you didn’t do it!”

His voice was strained. He was weak, and very well near collapse. But you still heard him speak. “I had to.”

”No you didn’t,” Peter was beginning to cry. “No you didn’t.”

Peter reared back his hand, and you tackled him to the ground.

You didn’t even realize you had moved until you saw his angry face right up next to yours.

”Stop!” You yelled over his struggle. “Stop, Quill!”

He was thrashing, and he was screaming. “Murderer!” In your ear. “You killed her!”

”Peter, stop—“

He shot you. He shot you right in the mouth.

Your helmet was still on, and you were safe. The only thing that happened was your head slinging upwards, and your grip on him releasing. He ran up from underneath you, and got a running start to slamming his gun into Thanos’ face.

”Hey, Hey—“ Tony exclaimed through the chaos. “Stop!”

Peter rammed the blunt object into him over and over as he wailed, and he hit Mantis’ hands. You were too late in standing up. She had already released him.

Tony had released him as well, now going to try and restrain Peter. You pulled out another bolas and wrapped it around his armed hand. Your chin was still smoking from the shot. You tried your best to convey to Tony that he needed to concern himself why you tried to detain a struggling Peter.

”The gauntlet,” You yelled. “The gauntlet!”

Parker was so close. He was so close to having pulled it off. His cries of “I've got it! I’ve got it!” Were interrupted by a now conscious Thanos, who grabbed the loosened gauntlet and pulled it back onto his hand. Mantis fell off of his shoulders, but before she could hit the ground, Thanos grabbed her leg and threw her. Because of the odd gravity, she sailed through the air.

”Oh, god—“ Parker skid to his feet and swung towards her, trying to catch her.

Thanos now grabbed Drax, at his feet, and threw him at Peter, Tony, and you. He hit the three of you hard, and you hit the ground hard.

Nebula yelled and attempted to slash at Thanos again, but he just threw her at the four of you. She landed right beside you, and you got up from underneath Drax, powered only by the urge to make sure that she was okay.

Thanos wrenched his other hand and threw Strange over his head, sending him sailing. You cursed.

Nebula stood on her own, actually pulling you to your feet as Tony flew around the other side of Thanos to shoot at him. He landed a few shots, but was quickly launched away by another purple blast of energy: the same fate came to you, Drax, Nebula and Peter as you got blown back as soon as you regained your footing.

Tony circled back around again, the metals in his suit shifting to form a blade in his hand. He hit Thanos once, then got thrown to the ground a ways away. As he skidded, you saw Thanos clench his fist once more— but at the sky.

You looked up. A nearby moon began to have waves of purple ripple across its surface.

You put up a force field.

Thanos threw his hand downwards, and meteors streaked into the atmosphere, carrying with them more destruction than you could conceive. The balls of fire hit anywhere and everywhere, and you saw Tony dodge and weave through them from outside of your bubble. You wanted to give him one as well, but you were too afraid.

Tony weaved and flew, but didn’t look where he was going. And enormous chunk of rock his him from behind, and pummeled him into the ground.

”No!” You exclaimed. Panicked, you looked around in the bubble— only Peter was there.

”Drax and Nebula—“ you breathed. “Where are they?”

Peter didn’t have time to answer your question. You looked above you and past the turrets of flames and smoke, you saw them floating above you. You cursed again, dropping the field and activating your boots once more. “Get Drax,” you ordered Peter, flying upwards.

You grabbed Nebula’s limp body, praying to whatever gods you believed in that she was okay.

Looking to your left, you saw Parker with the spindly spider legs again— and he was holding onto Mantis. Looks like he got her. As Quil rocketed up to get Drax, you could hear Parker pant.

”Got her,” he breathed. “And you got her! Sorry I couldn’t remember any of their names.”

”Meet Nebula.” You said, holding her close to you. “When she wakes up, I’ll introduce you.

Peter grabbed onto Drax, and flew back down to you and Parker. “Alright,” He said. “I think that—“

You didn’t hear the rest of what he said, because a stray comet that hadn’t fallen yet hit you square in the face, knocking you out in moments.

* * *

You woke up, to your surprise.

The first thing you saw was Nebula. She seemed to just be regaining consciousness. And before you could do anything, you heard something.

It was the sound of a vortex opening, then closing.

You heard Peter’s voice from a few feet away— you were conceleaed behind a wall of fallen debris. He was frantic, and panicked.

”Where is he?”

Rubbing your head, you stood. There was a ringing in your ears. Your head was pounding.

You walked out from behind the structure, to find Tony bloodied with half of his suit ripped apart. Strange wasn’t better. You looked at them in shock.

”What happened?” You demanded to know. “What happened?”

”Did we just lose?” Peter breathed.

Tony gave the doctor a pained, pained look. “Why could you do that?”

Strange didn’t say anything for a moment. “We’re in the endgame now.”

”How long was I out?” You ran your hands through your hair, only now realizing that someone had taken off your suit. You also realized that your head was bleeding. You pulled your hand away, and it was covered in blood.

Shocked and wide eyed, you looked to the others.

”I closed up that wound.” Tony said, gesturing to a cut of his own on his stomach, which he was filling with some kind of concealant. “You’ll be okay.”

”What happened?” You demanded again.

”Wizard man over here,” Peter pointed an accusing finger at Strange. “Just gave up the time stone!”

”To save Tony’s life.” Strange said firmly.

”You just screwed us!” Peter screamed.

You were too tired to fight back. Normally, you would have felt a dehabilitating sense of anger back, or even hopelessness. But now, you just wanted to sleep. 

”Peter,” you said weakly. “Please stop.”

”He just handed a weapon to someone who wants to obliterate the galaxy.” He continued to point. 

“And now,” you weakly lifted your arms. “We can’t do anything.”

”That’s—“

”So we can either yell and scream,” you raised your voice.

Silence. 

“Or what?” Tony asked.

You put your arms down. “Or you can make peace with whatever god you believe in.”

Silence again. You sat down, incredibly tired.

Peter turned, seemingly ashamed, but still angry. He walked over somewhere— you saw Drax and Mantis regaining consciousness.

You sat down on the stairs, just as Strange got up to help up Tony from his seat. You felt exhausted. Exhausted and ready for something, anything to change.

Someone put a hand on your shoulder, and you turned around. It was Nebula.

Once again, you gathered her up in your arms in a tight hug. The tiredness you felt before was trumped by the joy of seeing Nebula again. It gave you such strength.

”Oh, Nebula...” tears began to stream down your face, unprompted. “What are we going to do?”

Nebula sighed in your ear. It was deep, and soulful. “I don’t know.” She held you tighter.

“Are you okay?” You pulled back and examined your body once more. “You’re not hurt?”

”I’m f—“ she saw the blood that you had on your hand, and he dark eyes widened. She grabbed your hand and ran her thumbs overboard your palm.

”Alex,” she whispered. “What is this?”

”I got a little bump on my head.” You choked through the tears. “ It’s fine, though. I’m okay.”

You didn’t feel very okay. You were getting very weak. The bump must have been hard— a meteor did slam into you, after all.

”Oh, Alex,” Nebula put your hand to her forehead, tilting her head downwards. “I shouldn’t have left. I should have been there for you. I’m so sorry—“

”Stop apologizing.” You said, lifting her chin with your other hand. “Its okay.”

”It’s not. It never was.” Nebula dropped her hands. “I’ve felt nothing but regret since I left you.”

You wiped at a tear on your face with the bloodied hand. The fresh blood mixed with the tears. “But you’re here now,” you whispered. “And that’s all I care about.”

Nebula released a shaky breath, and you hugged her again, kissing at her cheek. You felt weaker, still.

”Its okay.” You repeated.

She sighed in your ear. Her breath tickled your neck. You missed that feeling.

”I missed you.”

”I missed you too.”

She looked at you in the face, then tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re still so beautiful.”

”And you’re even more beautiful,” your throat closed. “Than when I saw you last.”

She gave you a smile. A sad, sad smile.

You didn’t want to look away from her, not for a moment. But when Peter came back into the circle, supporting Mantis on her shoulder, you felt something.

An... imbalance. An odd change. Something that was spreading. You looked at Mantis dead in the eye, and you had the same thought.

”Something is happening.” She said before you could, leaning on Peter’s shoulder.

She faded. She faded into dust.

In a panic, you stood, gripping Nebula’s arm tightly. What was happening?

Drax stared down at his hands, then up at Peter. They were fading into dust as well, breaking apart as if he were paper being torn apart. There was such fear in his eyes. “Quill?” He asked.

He received no answer. And if he did, he wouldn’t hear it.

Something was happening. Something was happening, and you didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t know how to stop it. The joy and the tiredness was replaced with confusion and fear. You whipped your head around, desperate for any kind of answer.

Peter looked weak. His knees were locked, his face was pale. You had never seen him this afraid.

Tony stepped forward. “Steady, Quill.” 

Quill’s eyes watered up, and he whispered. “Oh, man.”

And then he faded into dust.

You held Nebula’s arm tighter, as tight as you could. Your hands were shaking.

”Nebula?” You whispered. “What is happening?”

She grabbed onto your hand and looked at you, dead in the face.

From beside you, you heard Stranges’s voice.

”Tony.” He said. “There was no other way.”

Your back was to him, and you couldn’t stand to turn around. Then you felt it, you felt it on your bare skin. The dust. His dust. It brushed past you. You felt like you were about to vomit.

”Alex,” Nebula said in a low tone. “It’s okay.”

Your knees buckled, and you fell to the ground. You were still holding onto Nebula for dear life, and she wasn’t letting go either.

This couldn’t have been happening. Not to everyone else. And it couldn’t happen to you.

”I just got you back,” you pleaded. “I just got you back.”

”I’m not going anywhere.” Nebula said with such adamant determination. He blood on your hand rubbed off into her robotic one.

You heard Peter as if from miles away. “Mr. Stark?” His voice was high.

You squeezed your eyes shut, but snapped them back open so you could still look at Nebula. You didn’t dare turn your head and watch Peter die. You couldn’t. It would destroy you.

”Nebula,” you asked. “What is happening?”

“You’re okay.” She said. If that were true, why were there tears streaking down her face? “You’re okay.”

”I can’t,” you breathed. “I can’t feel my legs.”

”Don’t look at your legs. Look at me.”

”Nebula,” you cried. “This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair.”

”Alex, look at me.”

”I’m not ready.”

”Alex.”

You heaved your breaths.

”I love you. I love you.” She repeated.

”I love you too.” You whispered.

She couldn’t hold it any longer. Her face screwed up, her brow crinkled, and she sobbed. She sobbed and wailed, not looking away from you for a moment.

It had finally, truly sunk in what was happening to you. You cursed the galaxy that you swore to protect that it was so slow.

”It doesn’t hurt,” you whispered. “It doesn’t hurt.”

And as the final piece of you floated past Nebula and into the wind, nothing hurt anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all, everyone!! I really hope you liked it. If you did, then please share it with others!! I want to get this fic out in the world a lot more because I worked so hard on it in such a short amount of time.  
> Please leave a review or criticism!


	25. Pssst

((//whispers// psst. Hey. This series will continue one endgame drops and I create a narrative around it. Never fear. Look forward to it ;D

in th meantime, if you want to check out kind of an alternate-universe version of Pacify (because that’s what’s you’re reading this story for, my dumb self insert and not the Nebula development, lol) then here’s my toyhou.se version of her! https://toyhou.se/3207278.pacify-

If you ever wondered what she looked like in her suit, that’s her! There she is! However, I have removed the element of her real identity being Alex. THATS NOT CANON IN THIS AU! Alex was my self-insert and I think this AO3 Fanfic is the only place that I’ll house that. She’s a touch more fleshed out and not in the marvel universe. Just thought I’d give you this if anybody’s interested.

anywho, that was just an update to let you know that pacify is still alive!

well I mean, you know.

see you later!))


	26. Tabletop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back.
> 
> Are you ready?

Flick.

Moving as quickly as possible, she snatched the small triangle out of the air and into her closed fist. A rough grunt of frustration expelled from her.

Her new companion sighed. “You don’t have to do that.” He shook his head. “You keep your fingers like this—“ he positioned his thumbs so they were touching, and reached his pointers upwards. “Like a goal. Okay? You try to get it into the goal.”

She hesitated. “Alright.”

He kept his hands the way they were, and she unfolded her fist. Positioning the small triangle on a point, Nebula tampered to aim.

Flick.

”Okay, that’s a miss.” The stubble-covered man said curtly.

Nebula groaned. 

This was pointless.

It had been a few days since Thanos completes his mission. When everything she cares about turned to dust. And here she was, playing a tabletop game with a Terran.

It was enough to make her spit, normally. She would have been furious, if not for the fact she would have to get along with this man. It was “to pass the time”, he said. “Kill a couple hours.” More killing as the last thing she needed, but it was better than sitting in complete silence.

Maybe she would like to just sit and be silent. But she was too focused on getting the stupid triangle into the goal to care.

”I’d like to try again.” Her voice was hoarse and tired.

Tony obliged.

Flick.

”Another miss.” He reached across the table and picked up the triangle. Nebula grumbled and repositioned her fingers.

Was this what Alex would want her to do? Play games while Thanos was still out there?

Probably, actually.

If Alex were still alive, and on the ship, her face would likely light up at such a foolish Terran pastime. Playing with Tony would make her excited, despite the grim circumstances under which they played. A grin would spring to her face as she sat down, getting comfortable, and she would remark “hey, looks like fun! Let me in on this!”

Her belongings were all still there. It puzzled Nebula to think why that surprised her. They were sitting in her room, expectant, waiting for her to return. There was a bed she’d never sleep in again. A sketchbook that she would never draw in again. Books she would never again read.

Nebula blinked.

”Hey.” The man raised his eyebrows. “That’s a goal for me. Your turn.”

After a moment, Nebula hesitated in picking up the triangle once more. She squinted, and positioned her finger, and...

flick.

”A goal for you. Good job.”

She had finally made a goal.

The man’s name was Tony— their introductions were apt enough. Neither of them were exactly chatty individuals, but it seemed he wasn’t alright with complete disconnect from her, so he played these silly games. The passage of time was slow, and unable rock be properly calculated without the dependence of day and night. She could do it just fine, but for someone who lived on a planet all his life, he just wanted to spend his waking moments worrying as little as possible.

That was fine. He helped mend the ship, he was knowledgeable, he was overall respectful, and not the worst person to be stranded with. He was cooperative.

Nebula positioned her fingers in the goal shape unprompted. Tony leaned forward and shut one eye when aiming, flicked, and missed.

”Alright, and that was terrible. I’m one down. Last play. You have a chance to win.”

In surprise, Nebula blinked. “Alright.” She mumbled.

Once more, she leaned forward, and balanced the triangle. She squinted.

Flick.

”Goal. You win, nice job. Good game.”

He held out a hand to her.

She looked at the hand for a moment, confused. It was to shake, she knew that much. Yet... she was baffled.

She won?

Hardly able to look at Tony, she took his hand, and shook it. 

“I had fun.” He said, giving her hand a firm shake. “Did you?”

Nebula, looking down profoundly, nodded. Gently, she parted her lips. “That was fun.” She said earnestly.

Nebula imagined Alex’s reaction, seeing that she won this trivial little game. She’d give her a high five, and another grin. The feeling have her a simultaneous warming of the heart and closing of the throat.

“If Alex could see me now.” She muttered, a hint of something pulling up the corner of her mouth.

Tony remained silent, and released her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so endgame spoilers obviously? I hope you all are as excited as I am!!!!


End file.
